One of the core teachings of the Millis Church was simple: "A man and a woman must love only one another, exclusively." Even though I had run away from home, that doctrine had been drilled into me since I was a little girl. It was the norm at school, and it remained deeply rooted in my heart. That's why, one day, I told him, "If you keep your hands off other women, then you can sleep with me." He smiled and accepted.
I knew he was lying. But I thought I didn't care. I told myself that if he betrayed me, I could just stop loving him. Back then, I was naive, reckless, and foolish. Because from that single time... I got pregnant.
I didn't know what to do. The uncertainty filled me with anxiety.
It never occurred to me that Paul would step up, take responsibility, and marry me. Yet that is exactly what happened, and eventually, the day arrived.
It is a day I will never forget, for better or worse. The day my two beautiful sons, Daiki and Rudeus Greyrat, were born.
My sons.
Mine.
But I also remember the moment Paul accused me of lying to him about Daiki. I understood it, of course. From his perspective, it must have been shocking. Even so, I never believed he would be capable of accusing me directly. Perhaps I had hoped he would think it was just a mistake. A mix-up.
Over time, that pain transformed into something else. It became a fierce determination. Daiki was indeed my son, and if Paul doubted me because of his appearance, then I would love him twice as much to make up for it.
Rudeus was always so expressive and curious.
Daiki was quiet and observant, yet intelligent and unique in his own way.
Rudeus always sought my attention.
Daiki accepted it, but he never asked for it.
Rudeus smiled easily.
For Daiki... it was much harder.
I still remember those afternoons when he was just a baby, watching me with curiosity while I bathed him.
When the day came that he finally smiled, I cried.
It wasn't a fleeting thing, nor was it too late. It happened instantly, and I knew it was a unique moment. I understood that I was the one responsible for it.
That single smile, however faint, was worth every moment of pain since Paul's accusation.
Now, years later, I watched my two eldest sons caring for their younger sisters.
My beautiful boys, who had done everything to ensure Aisha was saved, were now stepping into their roles as big brothers. I still remember the day of the birth. It was the most painful day of my life. I found myself thinking horrible things when I tried to sleep alone.
Then one night, while I was getting used to the empty bed again, the door opened slowly. I saw a side of Daiki I had never seen before.
"Mom... I'm sorry for my words. I didn't mean them."
"Son..."
"Can I... sleep with you tonight?"
When he fell asleep in my arms, his breathing quiet and his eyes still wet with tears, I realized he had done it so I wouldn't feel so alone. I love you, son. Even though your words had hurt, I understood they led to something better.
Back in the present.
Rudeus was making funny faces at Norn, sticking out his tongue and making ridiculous sounds to get a laugh.
"Peek-a-boo!"
"Kya, kya, baa, baa!"
Norn laughed with delight.
And Daiki...
Daiki sat next to Aisha's crib with a book in one hand. He wasn't reading it, though. He held it so the illustrations faced the baby.
"This is a rabbit," he said in his calm voice, pointing to the picture. "They're soft. They jump a lot."
"Aa!" Aisha babbled, reaching for the page with her tiny hands.
"Exactly. Rabbit."
He wasn't making funny faces like Rudeus. He wasn't using a silly voice.
But Aisha was completely absorbed, looking at him with eyes full of absolute adoration.
That was the difference between my sons.
Rudeus entertained with energy and expression.
Daiki soothed with presence and patience.
"Ufufu..."
I couldn't help but giggle at the scene.
Rudeus turned around, smiling.
"Mother? What's so funny?"
"Nothing, dear. Just... you two are so good with your sisters."
"Of course," Rudeus straightened up with obvious pride. "We're going to be the best big brothers."
Daiki said nothing, but I saw his lips curve slightly. It was that small smile he reserved for genuine moments.
"Whew..."
I let out a sigh, remembering when they were smaller. When I discovered Rudeus had a talent for magic, I was overjoyed. And when I saw Daiki execute his first sword movement with a perfection that shouldn't have been possible at his age, I knew he was special too.
But over time, I began to suspect something that terrified me.
I feared that, deep down, they didn't feel true affection for this family. Rudeus was never affectionate with me. Daiki was polite but distant.
It was as if... as if they were here, but not truly present.
Those doubts vanished during the scandal with Lilia's pregnancy.
When Paul confessed. When I felt betrayed. When I was on the verge of destroying this family in my rage.
It was my sons who stopped me.
Rudeus, with his careful words, trying to diffuse the situation.
Daiki, with that cold but devastatingly effective analysis. That relentless logic forced me to see past my pain.
And then, that offer.
"If you decide to kick her out anyway... then I'll go with her."
A six-year-old boy willing to abandon everything to protect an unborn baby.
My son. The one I had feared felt no love for us. He was willing to leave us to protect someone else. A sister who hadn't even been born yet.
I cried that night. I cried because I had been so blind.
Daiki did love his family. He just showed it differently.
"Uu... aa!"
My thoughts were interrupted when Aisha began to fuss. Daiki put the book down immediately, assessing the situation.
He checked her diaper. It was dry.
He touched her forehead. Her temperature was normal.
Meanwhile, Rudeus noticed that Norn was starting to fuss as well.
"Oh! I think Norn is hungry too."
"Come here, Rudy. Bring Norn."
"Yes!"
I sat in the chair. Rudeus brought Norn to me while Daiki approached with Aisha.
I uncovered my left breast first, drawing Norn close. She latched on immediately, drinking happily.
Then I noticed Rudeus's gaze.
He was staring fixedly at my chest with a greedy, perverted look that didn't belong on a seven-year-old boy.
He is definitely Paul's son, I thought with amusement.
"What's the matter, Rudy? You want some too?"
"Eh?!"
Rudeus looked surprised and turned away, blushing.
"No, it's nothing. I was just watching how well she drinks."
"Hehe. No, you can't. This is for Norn. Rudy already drank plenty when he was little, so you'll have to control yourself."
"...Of course, Mother."
I looked at Daiki, expecting to see... something similar, perhaps.
But my eldest son was looking out the window, deliberately giving me space.
Always so considerate. So mature for his age.
Maybe too much.
"Daiki," I called softly.
He turned.
"Yes, Mother?"
"Can you bring me Aisha too? Lilia will be late today."
I saw something cross his face. Surprise. Then... relief?
"Are you sure?"
The question hurt. I understood what it implied.
Daiki knew about my beliefs. About the Millis teachings. About my internal struggle to accept Lilia's situation.
He was asking if I could really do it. If I truly wanted to feed the daughter of the "other woman."
"Of course I'm sure. Aisha is your sister. Bring her to me."
Something in his expression softened.
"Understood."
He brought Aisha to me carefully. I took her in my free arm, uncovering my other breast.
Aisha latched on without hesitation, drinking as avidly as Norn.
I felt peace.
"Look how happily she drinks," I commented.
"Mom's milk tastes the best," Rudeus said with that mischievous smile.
"You don't need to flatter me."
"It's not flattery. I remember it well. I can still taste it."
I giggled.
But I noticed Daiki was still watching us. Not with Rudeus's lewd gaze, but as if a deep worry had finally been resolved.
Ah.
I understood then.
He was afraid I would reject Aisha.
My son, who had offered to leave home for the sake of a principle...
He was worried about his baby sister. About how her mother would treat her.
"Daiki," I called him.
He came closer.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
"Why?"
"For worrying. For protecting your sisters. For... for being you."
He blinked, clearly not expecting that.
"I... didn't do anything special."
"You did everything," I corrected gently. "You always do. Just in your own way."
He stood in silence, processing.
Then, slowly, he nodded.
"You're welcome, Mother."
Three simple words. But coming from Daiki, who measured every word carefully, they meant the world.
After both babies finished feeding and were back in their cribs, I sat down again.
Rudeus and Daiki stood nearby, watching their sisters sleep.
"Hey, Rudy," I called to my younger son.
"Yes, what is it?"
"Can I pat your head?"
"...You don't need permission. You can do it whenever you want."
Rudeus sat beside me and offered his head. I stroked it gently.
Then I looked at Daiki.
"You too, dear."
Daiki blinked, surprised.
"Me too?"
"Of course. Come here."
I saw the hesitation on his face. That moment of doubt.
It was as if he wasn't sure he deserved physical affection.
My poor baby.
What made you feel like this?
Finally, he approached and sat on my other side. He was stiffer than Rudeus, less used to this.
I placed my hand on his black hair.
I felt his body tense up. Then, slowly, he relaxed.
There the three of us were, bathed in a comfortable silence.
Through the window, the soft light of a spring day poured in.
"I wish these moments would last forever," I sighed.
"Me too," replied Rudeus.
Daiki said nothing. But I felt him leaning into my hand, accepting the affection he rarely sought but clearly needed.
"Rudy. Daiki."
"Yes?"
They answered in unison.
"I'm so glad you were born. Both of you."
Rudeus blushed, scratching his head.
"Actually... thank you, Mother."
Daiki didn't answer immediately. But then, so quietly I almost didn't hear him, he spoke.
"Thank you for accepting me. Despite... everything."
My heart broke.
I knew exactly what he meant.
Despite his different hair. Despite his strange eyes.
My seven-year-old son still carried that guilt.
"Daiki. Look at me."
He lifted those red eyes to meet mine.
"There is nothing to 'accept.' You are my son. From the moment you were born. From the first second I saw you. Your hair doesn't matter. Your eyes don't matter. Nothing matters except that you are mine."
"Mother..."
"And I am sorry... I am sorry you ever felt different. That Paul's doubts made you feel you didn't belong."
"It's not your fault."
"But I should have made it clear sooner. I should have told you every day that you were perfect exactly as you are."
Daiki looked at me with an expression more vulnerable than I had ever seen.
"I know that now. You've shown me. Every day."
"Then let me say it one more time." I hugged him, pulling him close along with Rudeus. "You are perfect. Both of you are. My two eldest sons. So different. So precious. So loved."
Rudeus was already crying.
Daiki... Daiki trembled slightly before finally breaking down in tears.
"I love you," I whispered. "Both of you. Always."
"We love you too, Mother," Rudeus sobbed.
Daiki said nothing. But his arms wrapped around me tightly.
And that was enough.
Because my son with the black hair and red eyes, who weighed every word and action carefully, who rarely showed affection openly...
Was hugging me as if his life depended on it.
Like the little boy he was beneath all that maturity.
My baby.
My precious, perfect baby.