"Why Do I Fight?"**
There's this moment in a battle where everything slows down.
Not because time actually slows.Not because you get stronger.
It's because your body stops pretending you're okay.
And right now—right as Luci's horns began glowing like dying stars—right as Ami and Yergba forced themselves back onto their feet—right as Aki shook behind me, trying and failing to breathe—
My body froze.
For the first time since I became a Hunter, I froze.
Why am I doing this?Why the hell am I still standing here?
My arms shook.My lungs burned.My bones ached like they were filled with dust.
I was exhausted.Broken.Bleeding internally.Barely able to move.
And yet—
I still stood between Aki and Luci.
Why?
Why the hell am I fighting for someone I barely know?
I swallowed hard as Luci's silhouette stretched, twisted, warped into something less human.
Ami grit her teeth beside me.Yergba spat blood on the ground and raised her fists again.
And me?
I felt like collapsing.
I felt like screaming.
I felt like running.
I closed my eyes.
And the battlefield disappeared.
✦
When I was five, my mom forgot to pick me up.
It wasn't the first time.It wasn't the last.
I sat outside the daycare on the rusty metal bench, hugging my backpack to my chest, watching the sun bleed into the horizon like it was dying.
All the other kids had left.
The teachers had left too.
Just me.Alone.Listening to the vending machine hum behind me.
I told myself she'd show up.
I told myself maybe she was just late.
But even at five, I knew the truth.
Some moms forget birthdays.Some moms forget school lunches.Some moms forget to say "I love you."
Mine forgot me.
When the streetlight flickered on, I stood up and walked home alone.My legs were short.My shoes were too big.My heart was too empty.
When I finally reached the apartment, I knocked.
No answer.
I knocked again.
Still nothing.
The door finally opened after my fifth knock.
My mother stared at me through half-lidded eyes, a glass bottle in her hand.
"Oh," she said. "You."
Like I was a stray cat.
Like I wasn't her kid.
She turned and walked back inside without another word.
I followed.Of course I did.
Where else would I go?
She never asked where I'd been.Never asked why I was late.Never asked why my eyes were red.
And I never asked her why she didn't care.
✦
When I was eight, she left completely.
No note.
No explanation.
Just gone.
The landlord banged on the door two days later.
No rent.No parent.No future.
I ran before he could take me to child services.
I slept under a bridge that night.
Cold.Wet.Alone.
And it was there—shivering under a piece of cardboard—that I realized something:
Nobody was coming to save me.
Not a parent.Not a hero.Not the universe.
Only me.
And that… that realization?
It killed something inside me.
Not instantly.Not loudly.
Quietly.
A slow, silent death inside my ribcage.
From then on—
I never expected love.I never waited for help.I never trusted kindness.
I survived.That's all.
I learned how to steal food without being caught.How to run faster than the older kids who tried to mug me.How to sleep light enough to wake at danger.
I learned how to fight because losing hurt too much.I learned how to smile because adults didn't question smiling kids.
I learned how to live like I didn't exist.
✦
I died at fourteen.
Not from hunger.
Not from cold.
From something far worse.
Hunters attacked a beast near the riverbank where I slept.I got in the way by accident.
One of the monsters clawed through me like paper.
I remember the pain.I remember choking on my own blood.
I remember thinking:
Of course.Of course this is how I die.Alone.
But then…then something strange happened.
The world dimmed.
Then glowed.
A voice whispered inside my mind, soft and broken:
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I can't live anymore.Take what's left of me…and fight."
A warm light wrapped around my dying body.
The beast's power—no, the Keeper's power—poured into me.
And when I opened my eyes again—
I wasn't just Sam.
I was a Hunter.
A weapon.A survivor.A reborn monster.
It didn't make me stronger inside.Not where it mattered.
I was still alone.
✦
Back to the battlefield.
Luci's transformation shook the barrier, golden cracks webbing across it like lightning.
Ami groaned, clutching her stomach.
Yergba forced herself up with her one good arm.
Aki gasped behind me, terrified.
And me?
My hands shook uncontrollably.
I'm tired.I'm so tired.
My blood was boiling.My bones were cracking.My breathing was ragged.
Should I run?Should I leave?
Wouldn't that make sense?
The old Sam—the one abandoned under a bridge, the one who learned to put herself first—she would run.
She would sprint.She would escape.She would survive.
But…
My foot didn't move.
My body stayed planted in front of Aki.
Why?
I grit my teeth as Luci's monstrous silhouette fully took shape—towering horns, elongated shadow, and eyes that glowed with predatory hunger.
Ami whispered weakly, "Sam… we need you…"
Yergba growled through clenched teeth, "Don't you dare die on me…"
And Aki—
Aki clutched my sleeve like I was the only thing keeping him from collapsing again.
"Sam… please don't go."
My heart twisted painfully.
Why?
Why does that voice get through my armor?
Why does his fear feel like mine?
Why does protecting him feel… right?
I exhaled shakily.
My vision blurred, but I held my stance.
I didn't run.
I didn't collapse.
I didn't abandon them.
I straightened my back and raised my fists, shaking but steady.
Luci narrowed her eyes with curiosity.
"Oh? Still alive, Sammy?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced the words out:
"I've run my whole life.Not this time."
Ami lifted her blade.
Yergba ignited her lightning with a scream.
Aki whispered my name like it was a prayer.
And me?
I finally found my answer.
Why did I choose to fight?
Because someone looked at me like I mattered.Because someone cried when I fell.Because someone said my name with fear and hope.
Because for the first time in my life—
I don't want to be alone anymore.
I tightened my stance.
Then shouted back at Luci with everything in me:
"BRING IT—!!!"
Luci smiled.
Her horns glowed brighter.
Her shadow swelled into a beast.
And the real battle began.