KHANYISIILE
I had to come home last night, I couldn't sleep at the hospital, the doctor wouldn't let me. I aslo needed to be with the kids. Now that we know their father is going to be ok I have decided to tell them that he is hospital and I can't hide his whereabouts much longer. Qhawe's parents are also here, Qhawe's mom is the last person I want to deal with right now. I simply don't have the energy for her. Zwelibanzi is here and the guys are keeping him in the basement, I'll decided later what to do with him. When I walk down stairs I can hear the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen. It sound like everyone is in the kitchen including the kids.
Me: Morning everyone
Them: Morning His Queen (yhooo choir )
Lwazi: Morning mama bear
Bandile: uyazibaxa izinto ke wena Lwazi. (you exaggerate things Lwazi)
Lwazi: I was the one calling her His Queen and now you have all hijacked that and I'm sure you'll hijack Mama Bear too.
Me: they won't I'll make sure of it.
Lwazi: thank you Khanyi. Do you want me to dish up for you?
Me: I would like that. It looks like everyone has eaten.
Lwanele: yes mom, where is daddy.
Lisakhanya: yes mom where is he?
Me: come here girls ( they walk to me and Lisakhanya stands between my legs while lwanele stands next to me and leans on my left shoulder.) I have to tell you something.
Loyiso: you decided to tell them?
Me: Ewe tata, at least now we know what's going on.
Siyanda: and when I wanted to tell them yesterday you were against it.
Loyiso: with good reason and it was not your place to tell them. (she wanted to say more but Loyiso just gave her that look that says just shut up. And she doesn't say anything.)
Me: guys Daddy and Khaya are in hospital.
Bandile(twin): What happened?
Me: they were involved in an accident. Khaya might come home today or tomorrow but daddy will be there for a while. He is still unconscious. I'll tell you about the accident later. Right now you need to go get ready so that we can go to the hospital.
Lisakhanya: is daddy going to be ok mom. (she is crying on my chest and I'm holding both her and Lwanele, sibahle and Zenande they join us for the hug also crying.)
Me: daddy is going to be fine. The doctor said he is going to be fine, he just needs to wake up and he will soon. Don't cry babies, daddy is going to be fine.
Sibahle: We can't lose them mama.
Me: trust me, we won't. Now wipe your tear, go upstairs and lets get ready to go to the hospital. (Ntando takes them upstairs and Lonwabo comes to me and the twins . they hug me all at once and we stay like that for a while. I want to cry but I have to be strong for my babies. When we break the hug Lonwabo looks at and smiles warmly. My baby is so handsome.)
Lonwabo: are you ok mama?
Me: I'm fine baby
Lonwabo: You don't always have to be strong mama. We can see you are hurting and we are here for you.
Banele: He is right mama. We are here for you. You always put us first in everything, you were there for us when we went through what Anelisa did, you helped us get through it and still helping us to survive that. We know you love our dad very much and we know that it probably hurts like hell seeing him lying in a hospital helpless. Allow us to be here for you and comfort you. (I couldn't hold back the tears, I just let them fall and Lonwabo kept wiping them with his thumb.)
Lonwabo: don't cry Queen. It's all going to be ok. We are here and we are not going anywhere. (I just can't stop cryng)
Lwazi: hey guys why don't you go and get ready so that we can leave. Your mom will be fine. By the time you come downstairs, she'll be fine. (they hug me again and leave the kitchen.)
Lwazi: hey Mama Bear, you need to relax. Qhawe is going to be fine and those boys really care about, they love you so much and you guys will get through this and their father is going to wake up. Have you told his parents?
Me: No I haven't.
Loyiso: tell us what? (Lwazi looks at me and I just nod, giving him the go ahead.)
Lwazi: Khanyi is two weeks pregnant.
Loyiso; I thought you couldn't have kids anymore
Me: I thought so too. The doctor said it's one of those one in a million chances
Loyiso: that's wonderful news. You must try to relax, stress is not good for the baby. (if looks could kill, the way Siyanda is looking at me right now, I would be dead. The kids come back downstairs and we drive off to the hospital. When we get there we go straight to his room. This room is full. The girls walk up to t their father and start talking to him)
Lwanele: hey daddy. Your princeses are here, you need to wake up. We miss you so much and I think mom misses you more than us.
Lisakhanya: plus you hate hospitals, we can't keep coming here evey day. You need to get your stubborn self out of here.
Zenande: we love you daddy now and always.
Sibahle: you should see mom, she doesn't look so good. She told us Khaya might go home today or tomorrow, you see you also can't be here for a long time. When we are done we are going to see Khaya. Thank you daddy for keeping Khanyi around, she is an amazing woman.
Can we go see Khaya mom.
Me: yes you may. (will you guys go with them. I just want to talk to Qhawe. I'll join you just now.)
SIYANDA
We left Khanyi with Qhawe and went to see Khaya and he looked good apparently he is going home tomorrow. I must say I was amazed by what I saw in the kitchen this morning. Qhawe's kids are so attached to this woman. So she really loves them and these kids are so attached to each other. Ntando is very quiet just like Zenande and they seem to get along so well. How did they manage to blend this family like this and these guys kids call uncles are not even related to Khanyi but they are family. I sneak out of the room and go back to Qhawe's room and when I get there Khanyi was talking to him and she was crying.
Khanyi: I have loved a man before, given love to a man before, loved unconditionally, loved with no equivaltion and yet love still broke me. I love love, yet love does not love me back. I give love and love doesn't return to me. Love never loves me back, yet I hope it will. Love makes me cry and I hope it will make me laugh. Love hurts me, Yet I hope it will heal me. Love broke me into a million pieces impossible to put together and yet I hope it will put me back together again. I am broken because love broke me baby and you are my only hope. You have to wake up. I can't do this life thing without you , we still have lots to live for. Come back to us. It's funny how before I met you, I knew what to do and did what I had to do when required and now it's like I can't move without you.
(my phone rings and I walk away from the door before she notices)
Me: Helllo
Sindy: Hello ma, how is Qhawe? When can I come to see me.
ME: You can't Sindy, your name is not on the visitors' list. Look Sindy I don't think things will work out. I am going to book a flight back to the Eastern Cape for you. Qhawe loves someone else.
Sindy: mama you know I love Qhawe and you know I've always loved him and I am going to fight for him .
Me: Stop it. don't make things harder than they already are.
Sindy: no ma, you promised me that I will have him and I want him. (she hangs up. Damn this girl is going to make things difficult. I need to do something to stop her.
KHANYISILE
I'm in Khaya's room and he looks so much better. Everyone else left, they'll be back later tonight.
Khaya: you know mom, you don't have to be here.
Me: you are my baby and I have to be here. I have to make sure that I you are ok.
Khaya: I am ok mama. I really am and besides, I told the doctor to let me go home tonight, there's really no reason for him to keep me here. Tonight when everyone comes back for a visit, I'll be going home with them.
Me: Are you sure about that. I just want to be sure that you are fine and fit to go home. You are still my baby and I worry about you.
Khaya: I know mama but you don't have to besides you guys got there in time and he is going to be fine too, doctor said there's no permanent damage right at least that's good news and you know why he took the bullet for uncle Sizwe.
Me: yes the doctor said he will be fine and yes I know why he did it.
Khaya: then go to him, go be with him he needs you to be there more than I do. It's fine mom you can go.
Me: Are you sure about that?
Khaya: Yes mom I'm sure. Just go he needs you and you need to be close to him.
Me: when did you guys grow up. Last time I checked you were babies and now you are all grown up, you guys grew up too fast
Khaya: and for that, you have yourself to blame. I feel sleepy mom. Let me sleep. (I get up from the chair and kiss his forehead. I get in bed next to him.) come on mama just go to him.
Me: I'll go when you fall asleep.
Khaya: fine but you are so stubborn.
Me: just sleep. (he positions himself so that his head is on my chest and I just play with his short hair and in no time he was asleep. I stayed in that position for about thirty minutes and got out of bed without waking him and I went to Qhawe's room. When I got to his room a nurse was busy with, I just sat on the small couch that's in his room until she finished. I have so much going through my mind right now. Qhawe really needs to wake up. I miss him so much, the kids miss him so much. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with that bastard called Zwelibanzi, maybe I should just let him go to jail. Would I really be able to live with his death on my conscious, would I be able to look at my kids and tell them I killed him when they ask about him one day, besides I'm not a killer, why should I start killing because of me. I hate feeling like this. I didn't even realise the nurse left the room and his father just walked in. I thought he went home and was coming back later.)
Loyiso: Khanyi, how are you?
Me: I'm ok I guess. I just want him to wake up.
Loyiso: I understand how you feel. Khanyi I want to talk to you about his mother.
Me: what about her?
Loyiso: she wants to talk to you and she doesn't know how to because of the way she behaved and treated you. I'm guessing she wants to apologise, she didn't say why she wants to talk you. She just asked me to ask you to hear what she has to say.
Me: I don't need anymore drama in my life right now and if she is bringing drama then I'm not interested.
Loyiso: I don't think she is but just give her time and hear what she has to say.
Me: ok I'll hear her out. I'm doing it for you.
Loyiso: thank you my child. And don't worry my son is very strong , he will wake up soon.
Me: thank you for your support.
Loyiso: I have to go, I have business I need to attend. I'll see you tonight.
When he lives the room I get in bed next to Qhawe and lay my head on his shoulder.
Me: you really need to wake up. We miss you, I miss you so much, I guess I could say I know how you felt when I was shot. I can't stand not hearing your voice and looking into your eyes. Please my King wake up now, we need you. It's funny how I didn't want to admit how I feel about you, when everyone else could see and now I know for sure that I feel the same way you do. This life won't be fun without you. Khaya even chased me out of his hospital room, telling me that you needed me more than he needs me. And guess what, we have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I can't be there alone. The doctor is going to be doing another scan so you really need to be there to see our little Boov, even though she is still just a dot but she has a strong heartbeat. Khaya is going home today, he is ok but he is worried about you and Linamandla is coming home on Tuesday, the poor Princess is so stressed, she is writing a test on Monday that's why she can't come sooner. Basically everyone is worried about you Lwazi was even crying the other day but he doesn't know that I know so you can't tease him about it when you wake up. I think I am going to hand over Zwelibanzi to Det. Nxele when he is healed, I don't think I want his death on my conscious or on any of you. I love you Qhawe, you are breaking down the walls I built around my heart to protect it from men even though I never gave up on love I still protected my heart. You are melting the ice that froze my heart towards man, so you see you have to wake up, if you are not going to do it for anyone else do it for me.
SINDISWA (SINDY)
So I can't go see Qhawe at the hospital, I wonder how he is doing. Why is his mom changing her mind now, I thought she didn't like the woman Qhawe was dating, what could have happened? I've always had a crush on Qhawe in fact it's more than a crush. I love the guy. He is nothing like the guys I've dated. He is your unusual tall, dark and handsome kind of guy. I'm also a tall woman but shorter than him even when we were in high school together I always thought we would end up together and a few years after varsity I had he got married, right there I lost all hope of being with him. I use to see him or bump into him whenever he went home to the Eastern Cape and when ever he greeted he always had his beautiful smile on his face. I thought now that he is divorced I might have a chance, I still have a chance he is not married to this woman, I am going to fight for what I want. I grab my things and drive off. When I get to the hospital I try to find out which ward he is in and the receptionist tells me where to find him. This girl doesn't even ask who I am to check the visitor's list, she looks stressed as well, at least that worked for me, if she was focused she probably wouldn't have given me the information. I walk into his room and there he is with bandages on his chest, his muscles you can tell he goes to gym. I've never been a fan of exercising. Even at school Qhawe was a sports person in fact he played rugby, he looked hot then and he still does.
Me: hi Qhawe, it's Sindiswa, your mom told me you were here. I just came to see how you were doing and I am hoping that when you get out of here we can go out for coffee or something. I heard about your divorce and I'm sorry about that and I would like us try and see what happens. You know I've always liked you, maybe you can give us a chance but you have to wake up for that to happen.
"For what to happen?" this lady asks as she walks in holiding a cup in her hands. She is short not too short, same skin colour as Qhawe, she has a natural beautiful afro, she is wearing legging and an oversized hoodie, it must Qhawe's, she must be the girlfriend. I thought Qhawe was into tall girls like me.
Her: excuse me stop staring at me. Who are you, what are you doing here and most importantly how did you get in here.
Me: I'm his friend and I heard about his accident so I thought I'd come and see him.
Her: I know all his friends and you my dear are not one of them and besides Que doesn't have friends, he has family. Again I ask, who are you and what are you doing here? (she is so calm, her voice soft and strangely she doesn't even sound rude but you can tell she is irritated. Just as I am about to speak, his mom walks in also holding a cup and hers smells like coffee.)
Siyanda: Sindy what are you doing here?
Me: I came to see Qhawe ma. I wanted to see for myself.
Siyanda: how did you get in here? (this other lady is just standing there watching us and she is losing her patience, she wants answers.)
Me: I have my ways.
Her: Ma since you guys seem to know each other please get her out of here, Que doesn't need all this and I most difnately don't need this and the kids will be here soon. ( I look at her shocked at the fact that she calls him Que. Qhawe has never liked being called Que but this woman does maybe it's because he unconscious. Qhawe's mom drags me out of the room and I stand at the door looking at the girlfriend talking to him as she gets in bed with him and lays her head on his shoulder)
Siyanda: what in God's name are you doing here Sindy?
Me: I wanted to see him ma.
Siyanda: I've booked your flight. You are leaving first thing in the morning.
Me: Hayibo ma, I thought you didn't like the woman Qhawe is dating, I thought you wanted me to be with him.
Siyanda: I did want you for him but it's not about what I want. It's about what he wants and what's good for him and his kids. That woman in there is good for them. I judged her before I gave a chance. Just leave Sindy there is nothing here for you. I am not about to lose my son because of you.
Me: You are wrong ma, there is everything here for me and I am not leaving. You might not want me to be with him but I do. (I say that and walk away. I'm not leaving Durban until I talk to Qhawe.)
LONWABO
I really don't like seeing my mom like this, she is tired and stressed. This is becoming too much for her. When we walk into dad's room, she was curled up in bed with him, she looked so tiny. She must have fallen asleep reading a book to him. At least she is getting some sleep. I walk to the bed and look at her and kiss her cheek.
Me: Mom wake up, we are here. (she mumbles something but I can't hear what she is saying.) Mom come on wake up, everyone is here and uncle Lwazi is laughing at you.)
Lwazi: Lonwabo why would you want to get me into trouble like that, do you know what she is going to do to me when she wakes up.
Me: You always get us into trouble by eating her favourite snacks and pin it on us.
Bandile: why would you do that to the kids?
Lwazi: because it's easy
Bandile: and now it's backfiring.
Mom: so it's you and I've punished my kids for nothing because I didn't even believe them when they told me it was you. (she says that getting out bed.)
Lisakhanya: it's him mama. He said if we told you, he would take away our games.
Ntando: I think he is the worst uncle we have. (Khaya walks in all dressed and ready to go. He walks up to mom, hugs her and gives dad a kiss on his forehead and whispers something in his ear.) uncle Lwazi you might as well run away because you are going to be in trouble when dad wakes up. Apparently he can here this conversation.
Me: that's right, the doctor said he can hear everything we say.
Sibahle: I would run away if I were, even mom is not happy with you, look at her. (she was right mom was not happy)
Zenande: I don't think we have to wait for daddy to wake up, mom is ready to beat the living day lights out him.
Lwazi: She can't do that and she knows.
Mom: I have something much worse in mind for you Lwazi. A beating would be very easy.
We ordered food and stayed there chatting about everything until it was time for us to leave and mom was staying.
Me: I'll be there in a sec guys I just need to talk to mom… hey mom, how are you feeling?
Mom: I'm ok baby just tired that's all.
Me: He is going to be fine mama. He is going to wake up, just be patient with him. You know how stubborn he can be and right now he is just being his usual stubborn self.
Mom: tell me something, how did you grow up so fast and into this young man standing before me?
Me: we learned from the best. She is not perfect, she makes mistakes, she is human after all but she always makes sure that we have what we need and makes sure that we know that we always know that she is there for us. He also knows you are here for him and he knows we love him and we need him, that's why he is going to wake up. Let me go mom before Uncle Bandile comes back in here for me. I love you mom and please try to get some sleep ok.