The arm dragged me through the pool of blood, each breath filled my lungs up with blood. I didn't resist, they dragged me deeper and deeper but I was too lost in thought to think of escaping. I suddenly crashed into the ground and saw the woman revving up her chainsaw. I wiped the blood off of my face and readied my fist. But the glint of the sun caused me to stumble and shield my eyes. A child stood in my place in the mirror, everything was taller—even the woman who now towered over me.
I snapped at my finger but the blood around me didn't move an inch, not even a vibration. We stood still, emphasizing the movement of every object in the room. She thrusted her chainsaw into my chest, the sound of my flesh being torn apart…the sound of my bones being broken to pieces. It didn't bother me, it didn't even interrupt my thought process. All I could think about was a scared child. One whose existence didn't matter. Maybe this is what I deserve. This is what she should've done to me.
Polari emerged from the shadows and held the chainsaw in my chest. "What do you gain from saying such hurtful things about yourself?" I couldn't answer. My nails dug into my palm as it waited for my lips to open up and answer that simple question. I looked at my bloodied reflection on the chainsaw in my chest. "What do you see Johnny?" Polari said with her words barely slipping through her lips. I see nothing, a burden. All I can see is an evil child waiting for his hard working mother to take care of him like he deserved it, an audacious disgusting thing. I can't help but wonder…how would her life be if I just disappeared?
Polari walked in front of me and raised my head. "Are you sure she was even that good of a mother?" I slapped her hand off of my face and yelled at the top of my shredded lungs. "YES, IT WAS MY FAULT! EVERYTHING! I DIDN'T DESERVE HER!" Tears began to seep out of my eyes and my voice creaked. "I don't…I don't know…Does she even realize that I'm gone…Does she?...Maybe it's a good thing…Maybe I deserve to be here…I can't…" I covered my eyes and curled up.
"I'm sorry John." I raised my head and looked up at Polari as she continued to look into my eyes. "I'm sorry for holding you back." What? I'm sorry for causing every bad thing in your life. "What are you talking about?" I responded. Here Johnny. Polari handed me a book that was titled "Masked Boy." I threw the book into the mirror, causing it to crack. And grabbed Polari arm tightly. "NO! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Polari hugged me tightly, one arm wrapped around me and squeezing as if she could lose me at any moment, and the other holding the blade of the chainsaw in my chest. A single tear fell down her cheek as she said. "Then don't be afraid."
Suddenly the woman exploded, her blood spreading all over the room. I fell to my knees and dug my nails into my face. "I'm sorry." I began to scratch at my face. "I'm sorry." My breath got heavier and heavier as the room began to fill up with blood. "I'M SORRY!" I kept repeating and repeating it until the room was filled up with blood and there was only an abyss and a pool of blood.
Suddenly a boy with a mask emerged from the blood, carried by white strings made from webs. He carried a small knife as he slowly raised his head to look me in my eyes. Wiping the tears from my face I raised up my head to prepare for battle. No more hiding. I have to confront it.