The price of defeat was as expected, very light. The penalty was to make and eat dinner by themselves. Compared to the food they usually ate, the homemade waterless vegetable soup and the meat chunks burnt to a crisp were a heavenly taste. In the first place, even without such food, just having instant rice would have been enough. No, they probably would have eaten it even if it were just soup with pieces of bread floating around. Saori thought so as she washed the dishes.
The water used for washing was very clean water. Because it was water Kenji had brought when he bought the groceries. They had tried not to use the precious item for dishwashing, but since he said he could buy more anytime, they were using it. The quantity was sufficient, so honestly, they could probably live comfortably for days even using it for various purposes.
All of this is thanks to that person. Saori smiled bitterly and placed the washed dishes on the display stand. She had wanted to live without others' help if possible, but from a year ago until now, he had unhesitatingly provided important items for their lives. Of course, that number was only twice, but the fact that she received help didn't disappear.
'A good person.'
He was good enough not to be lacking such a word. If, truly if, he were the student council president of Arius instead of 'Madam'....
—It was a blasphemous thought. Saori hardened her face coldly and erased the thought that surfaced.
Who suppressed the conflict in Arius that had lasted for years?
Madam.
Who replaced the rusty and broken equipment with excellent ones?
Madam.
Who interpreted the utterly useless scriptures and gave us a reason to live? Who taught us hatred? Who taught us how to fight, how to shatter halos?
...Madam. Traces of Madam are engraved everywhere in my life. Denying her is the same as denying myself. The other squad members are the same. Misaki, Atsuko, and Hiyori, who have been together since childhood. Azusa, who joined later. All were influenced by Madam. Whether greatly or slightly.
For me to deny Madam and acknowledge 'him'?
No. Even if other dye enters black water, the murky water doesn't change. It only discards the dye. He is the dye, and we are the black muddy water. It's impossible to change the color of muddy water with just a drop of dye.
So having useless thoughts is a meaningless act. After all, as the prophet said, all is vanity and vanity. I, we were destined to be like this from the beginning. Therefore, Saori cleared her head and finished washing the dishes with an expressionless face.
Then she had free time. Because the evening training had disappeared. Saori wondered what to do with this free time, then packed some simple equipment and went outside. It was to review what happened in today's sparring and train alone. But shortly after stepping outside, she had no choice but to stop walking.
Because on top of a building, she saw Kenji holding his bleeding arm with a cigarette in his mouth.
*
He was accustomed to pain. Had no choice but to be accustomed. Since every time he fought aberrations in the mental world, losing a limb was commonplace. Even if his skin were torn now, he wouldn't roll on the ground screaming bloody murder.
But he had become accustomed to pain, not that it had disappeared entirely.
Now was like that. The bullet embedded in his forearm. He had pulled it out, but the pain remained. The止血 wasn't perfect, so blood flowed from the hole, and beyond the blood, white bone was fully exposed. Since he had no止血剂, he could only press the wound tightly, and each time, extreme pain followed.
Since he couldn't just leave the bleeding as is, Kenji gritted his teeth and tightened the bandage until blood couldn't pass through. The bandage turned red instantly, and the wound throbbed as if his heart were beating.
Still better than before. Kenji let out a long breath and put a cigarette in his mouth. It was a cigarette he smoked as naturally as breathing on Earth, but since he hadn't started smoking long in Kivotos, his lungs rejected the nicotine. Whatever. He'd get used to it soon anyway. He exhaled smoke into the air, *hoo*, and held his throbbing arm.
Then, a voice came from behind.
"What are you doing here?"
Kenji turned his head. Saori's gaze met his. Kenji stared intently at her cold face, then chuckled and shifted his gaze toward the sky.
"Meditation."
"...Are you a smoker?"
"Became one not long ago. Should I put it out?"
"...No, it's fine."
Saori said that and approached Kenji. Kenji glanced back at her, then made room for her to sit. Since the space wasn't that wide, the two had no choice but to sit shoulder to shoulder. But no one cared about such things.
*Hoo*, Kenji exhaled cigarette smoke. Like clouds adorning the hazy night sky, the smoke rose against gravity, then instantly disappeared. Instead, it left a scent. As befitting a fruit-scented cigarette, the smoke held the fragrance of peach.
Still just cigarette smell. Saori frowned slightly at the rising smell and spoke.
"...That arm."
"It's a light wound. Don't worry about it."
"You don't describe a wound bleeding that much as light. Are you okay?"
"I said earlier. I'm okay."
Kenji answered with a bitter smile. Saori didn't seem convinced, but nodded for now. Since the injured person himself said he was okay, it would be strange to argue about it. She glanced at Kenji's red-stained bandage, then turned her head toward the night sky.
"Is it true that your body is weak?"
"Can't you tell by looking?" Q0NGL1BUQXN0SWVkOHpKbW5hcVdZUmlLdE9GODk3VmlHNzdjZlhwU2V2eDBVcXNIdXVtVy9aVEJUNFBMU0Yvdg
The words she heard from him right after training ended: 'I have a weak body, so refrain from using live ammunition in sparring.' They were hard to understand. Because the movements he showed during training were something a person with a weak body could never show. But a bullet embedding in his forearm and his cheek tearing from just a graze couldn't be a normal reaction.
At least the part about having a weak body wasn't false. It was a mystery how he achieved so much with such a body, but since it wasn't an important fact, she erased the thought. Saori stared at the ruined training ground and spoke.
"...I failed to consider Master's physical condition and ended up injuring you. I'm sorry."
"...Master?"
Kenji blinked his eyes as if asking what she was talking about. Saori also tilted her head in confusion.
"Didn't you say over the radio? To call you Master."
"Ah... that. That was just something I said."
"Then would it be better to change the title?"
"Call me whatever's comfortable. Executive like before is fine, Master is fine too. Whichever, you're my students all the same."
Kenji spat that out with a faint smile.
It wasn't a lie. Even if the position was due to Beatrice's surveillance, once he took charge, he intended to be responsible for their capabilities as much as possible. Of course, it was a position that could disappear anytime, but still, until then.
Suddenly, the bonds he had severed himself came to mind. He wondered if they were doing well, but since he probably didn't have the right to think such thoughts, he quickly erased them. Kenji smiled bitterly, took off the coat he was wearing, and draped it over Saori. When Saori blinked as if asking what he was doing, Kenji stood up and opened his mouth.
"It's cold. I don't know why you came out, but at least dress warmly."
"...I'm fine though."
"I'm not fine."
Kenji said that and glanced over Saori's attire. Navy blue hair reaching to her hips. A worn-out hat pulled down. A top of an indistinguishable form—whether it's clothing or a sports bra—and tight-fitting pants. An outfit that didn't suit a cold day like today at all. But Saori, as if finding it hard to understand, answered in a voice mixed with displeasure.
"...If it's an order, I'll comply."
Kenji chuckled and put out his cigarette.
"It's not an order... No, fine. Do as you like. More importantly, what's the reason you came out?"
"To review today's training."
"Ah. Need any help?"
Saori seemed to ponder, letting out a thoughtful hum, then slowly shook her head.
"No. I'll do it alone today. I'll speak up if I need help."
"Alright. I'm going in."
"Understood."
Kenji waved to Saori and was about to go down from the building when a thought suddenly occurred to him, and he looked back at her.
"Speaking of which, Saori. When are your birthdays?"
"Birthday? Why suddenly?"
"Just thought it'd be good to know. If it's hard to tell, it's fine."
"It's not particularly that. It's just that I've never had experience keeping track."
After saying that, Saori told Kenji the squad members' birthdays.
"Yours is the closest?"
Hiyori, Atsuko, and Misaki's birthdays were all clustered in January. Azusa's was December 26th, close to theirs too. Only Saori's was September 3rd, far from the four. But the closest birthday at the present point was hers.
"I see."
"Um... Yeah. Thanks for telling me."
"It's nothing."
Kenji tapped Saori's forehead lightly with his finger, *tap tap*, then left saying 'See you tomorrow.' Saori smelled the bloodstains, bandage odor, cigarette butt, and peach fragrance left in his spot and thought.
Why on earth did he ask about birthdays?
She couldn't know. But it wasn't a bad feeling.