The evening air was cool still Pillyse can't sleep so she continue wandering, carrying the scent of roses from the mansion gardens Pillyse wandered along the cobblestone paths. Lanterns flickered like captured stars, casting pools of golden light over the neatly trimmed hedges and glimmering fountains. The world shimmered around her, but her mind was fully focused on Elarion, whose presence seemed to command both space and silence wherever he stood.
She turned a corner, and there he was, waiting beneath the sweeping boughs of a weeping willow. Moonlight glinted off the dark strands of his hair, painting him in shades of silver and shadow. He looked unreal, impossibly composed and beautiful, and her chest constricted at the sight of him.
"You didn't wait for me," he said, voice low, teasing, but threaded with an intensity that made her pulse quicken.
"I needed… a moment," she admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "To breathe. To take it all in. This… this world… it's overwhelming."
Elarion's gaze softened, but the strength behind it never wavered. He stepped closer, and the heat radiating from him made her breath catch. "And what have you discovered, Pillyse?"
She took a deep breath and look above the sky. "That your world is beautiful," she whispered, "and that I want to be part of it… even if I don't fully understand it yet."
He took her hand, brushing his fingers against hers with a tenderness that made her shiver. "You are already part of it," he murmured.
Her pulse thundered in her chest. This was not the love she had known before....it was all consuming, a devotion carved into the very depths of his soul. he could feel it in the way his gaze lingered, in the quiet intensity of his presence.
"You… you would do anything for me, wouldn't you?" Her voice trembled, almost afraid of the answer.
Elarion's lips curved in a faint, bittersweet smile. "Anything. All you need to do is to ask."
She stepped closer. "Then let me be here, teach me how this world works. I want to start a new life. Even with this new body, I'll still do what i can to avoid what i experienced before." she whispered. "Let me stay, even if I cannot know everything."
For a heartbeat, he said nothing. Then, with deliberate care, he closed the distance. His hand cupped her cheek, thumb brushing lightly over the delicate curve, and he leaned closer, so close that she could feel the heat of his breath, the force of his will.
"I'll still do that even if you don't ask me to." he murmured. "You only have to choose what makes you happy from now on, and I'll help you in any way i can." Elarion look closely to her eyes.
Her lips parted, not with intention, but with surprise. For a fleeting moment, she felt something dangerously close to, she felt safe, held, grounded in the quiet certainty that someone had once loved her deeply enough to cross lifetimes for her. The thought alone made her chest ache.
If only she could remember what that love felt like.
The emotions swelled too fast, too strong, and she didn't realize how close they were standing until it was already wrong. His breath brushed against her lips, warm and familiar in a way that unsettled her. Before she could speak, before she could think, he leaned in.
And she froze.
The kiss never truly happened, not the way he seemed to hope. The moment their lips barely brushed, reality slammed back into her.
This wasn't longing.
This wasn't desire.
It was confusion, grief, and the echo of a life that no longer belonged to her.
She pulled away, hands pressing gently but firmly against his chest.
"No," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I didn't mean to, this isn't what I want."
Her heart was pounding, not with passion, but with guilt.
Guilt for the comfort she'd felt.
Guilt for the way his eyes softened when he thought he had reached her. Guilt for knowing she couldn't give him what he was looking for.
She stepped back, creating space between them, even though every part of her hated how much it hurt him.
"I don't feel the same," she said quietly, forcing the words out before fear could stop her. "Whatever we were… whatever she felt, it isn't here anymore. And I won't pretend it is, just because it's easier than telling the truth."
Her hands clenched at her sides. "I won't chase a past that isn't mine. And I won't let you believe I'm something I'm not."
Silence fell between them, heavy and aching.
She look away before her resolve could crack, before sympathy could turn into another misunderstanding. Whatever tenderness lingered in the air, it wasn't love, it was mourning.
And she refused to let either of them bleed more than they already had.
Elarion looked at her, his hands still cupping her cheeks, thumbs trembling just enough to betray him. Every instinct in him screamed to pull her closer, to hold her tight as if he could anchor her to this world, to him. His arms ached with the memory of how easily she used to fit there.
But he didn't.
Because he knew.
She didn't love him, not now, and worse, he could never allow her to.
Not again.
Not with the curse coiled around his heart.
He forced himself to breathe, to steady the ache crushing his chest, and lifted his gaze to meet hers.
"It's alright," he said softly, though his voice betrayed him, fraying at the edges like a plea he refused to speak aloud. "Look at me… please."
She hesitated, then raised her eyes.
She saw it then, the sorrow he hid behind that familiar smile, the kind that existed only to keep others from worrying. His eyes were wet, dark with longing, with goodbye, with things he would never allow himself to ask for.
He swallowed.
"May I… kiss your forehead instead?" he asked quietly. "Just this once. I don't want anything more. I swear." His smile wavered. "I'm just… happy to see you again."
She saw through him.
The restraint.
The pain.
The way his hands already felt like they were letting go, and after a moment, she nodded.
That was all the permission he needed.
He leaned in slowly, reverently, as if she were something sacred he was afraid to disturb. His lips pressed against her forehead, lingering far too long like he was memorizing her warmth, her presence, the simple truth that she was alive.
Free.
His hands trembled, fingers curling slightly, resisting the urge to pull her closer, to bury her against his chest and pretend this world had been kinder to them.
But he didn't.
Because loving her meant letting her go.
After a long moment, one that felt like a lifetime, he finally pulled back. His lips parted from her skin with visible reluctance, as though the act itself tore something from him.
He lowered his hands, forcing himself to step back before his resolve could shatter.
Then he smiled again.
Gentle.
Grateful.
Heartbreaking.
"Thank you," he said softly
"Elarion… I'm sorry."
"You don't have to say anything," he murmured quickly, almost desperately, as if words themselves might undo his resolve. "I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I just… forgot myself for a moment."
"It's… fine," Pillyse replied, though her voice wavered. She looked down, biting her lip, fingers curling into the fabric of her dress as if holding herself together required effort.
They stood beneath the willow in silence.
Close but never close enough.
Their bodies hovered in that fragile space where Invisible threads bound them, threads of memory, devotion, and loss but neither dared to pull.
Elarion lifted a hand, hesitating midair before gently tilting her chin upward. His touch was careful, restrained, as though he feared that even tenderness might chain her to him.
Their eyes met.
And in that gaze was everything Elarion would never say.
"I won't touch your lips," he said quietly, voice breaking despite his effort to remain calm. "Not now. Not ever again." A faint, pained smile curved his mouth. "I don't want your heart to reach for me out of confusion… or kindness… or feeling guilty because of feelings that you used to feel but that's aren't yours now. I know and i accept it, i truly understand where i stand."
His thumb brushed her cheek, light as a farewell.
"I don't wish or want for you to love me back," he continued, each word costing him more than blood.
Her breath hitched.
"I want you free," he said. "Even if it means I stand here loving you alone." he thinks
pain and guilt welled in her heart, silently as she leaned her forehead against his, not a kiss, never a kiss, just shared warmth, shared grief. His hands hovered at her waist, aching to pull her closer, but he never closed the distance.
Time slowed.
Moonlight filtered through the drooping leaves, casting silver over them both. Pillyse felt the steady beat of his heart, not against her chest, but close enough to feel, and it filled her with something unbearably tender and unbearably sad.
This was not desire.
This was mourning.
They stayed like that for a long while, breathing the same night air, letting the moment carve itself into memory. When Elarion finally rested his forehead against hers again, his voice trembled.
"Promise me something," he whispered. "Promise me that you'll live… fully."
Her throat tightened, she don't quite understand what she's feeling right now, that's why she keep reminding herself that this is just guilt, the guilt that someone truly loved her past self, but she can't love that person back.
She nodded slowly. "I promise," she said softly, pain slipping free.
He closed his eyes, relief and heartbreak colliding in his chest.
That was enough.
He escorted her to her room in silence, hands folded neatly behind his back, posture composed in the way only someone deeply trained in restraint could manage.
When he turned to leave, she suddenly caught his hand.
He froze, looking back at her in surprise.
"Well… don't look at me like that," she said quietly, trying and failing to sound casual. "It's just that." She hesitated, then exhaled. "I'm scared to be alone tonight."
His breath caught.
"If you don't mind," she added quickly, "staying here… it would help. That's all."
Shock flickered across his face.
Seeing it, she rushed to clarify. "I don't mean anything else. Just… presence. Everything still feels unfamiliar."
Elarion nodded stiffly, nerves visible as he moved toward the sofa.
"You can sleep here," she said firmly, patting the bed beside her. "This is your home too. It feels wrong to send you away."
"Pillyse."
"No," she said gently. "Just stay."
And so he did.
She fell asleep quickly, breath evening out, fingers relaxing into the sheets.
Elarion lay beside her, rigid as stone.
He stared at the ceiling, heart pounding, every instinct screaming to protect, to hold, to love while he did none of it.
Because loving her, truly loving her, meant choosing restraint over desire.
And as her quiet breathing filled the room, Elarion understood with aching clarity.
Some loves are not meant to be claimed.
Some are meant only to be endured.