Alex led them to the top of the tower, and they sat on the ground, with Myrina seated between him and the mage. For a while, the three of them remained in silence, enjoying the warmth of the day on their faces.
"I…" Myrina began hesitantly. "I misunderstood, didn't I?"
"Yeah." Alex ran his fingers through his hair. "The two of us are in a relationship. A healthy and respectful one, though still secret for now."
"But you were covering his mouth."
"Yes, well, he asked me to." He blushed. "He's noisy, and we didn't want to be caught."
William sighed. "It's your fault, Your Highness. You should try less hard."
"Now it's my fault that just touching you is enough to make you moan?"
Myrina covered her ears. "By the spirits, I don't want the details!" Her cheeks flushed red, and she looked back at Alex, this time terrified. "So I said horrible things to you!"
"I wasn't offended, Myri. It was clear you were shocked and didn't really mean them."
"But I hurt you! When I ran away, when I said you disgusted me." Her eyes filled with tears again. "I'm sorry, Alex, I'm a terrible sister. And a terrible princess. And… and I always get everything wrong because I'm so stupid and—"
Alex hugged her. "You're not stupid—just impulsive, like me. I'm sorry you had to witness that scene; I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
"No, I…" Myrina hid her face against his chest. "I didn't see anything, I swear. And I immediately thought you were hurting him, and I shouldn't have—I'm a terrible sister."
"It's not your fault. The scene was easy to misunderstand."
"But I shouldn't have doubted. Not you."
Alex smiled. "It's all right, Myri. I'm not angry. Actually, I was afraid you were angry with me. I kept it secret… and I took Will away from you. Since you have a crush on him."
Myrina jerked her head up. "I don't have a crush on William!"
"Really?"
"Of course! I like him because he's always kind to me, he helps me with my studies, and he doesn't judge what I read. But I don't like him the way you mean."
"Then why do you always blush?"
"What does that have to do with anything? I blush easily. I even do it when the cook compliments me on a new ribbon."
"So you're not jealous?"
"Why should I be? You've been happier since he's been here."
Alex raised his eyebrows. "Really?"
"And besides, it's so obvious that you like him. I just didn't think William felt the same way, and today for a moment I thought you've been rejected and lost your mind."
"Wait a moment. What do you mean it's obvious that I like him?"
Myrina looked at him as if it were a silly question. "Well, when you're lost in thought, you stare at him, especially at dinner. And a few times I've caught you looking at his lips."
Alex flushed. If Myrina had noticed, then surely his other sisters and his father had too. Maybe even the nobles and the servants. Were his thoughts really that obvious?
"I can't believe everyone figured it out except me!"
"Your Highness, if it's any consolation, I had figured it out too."
"And how is that supposed to console me?"
Myrina laughed and rubbed her eyes. "I'm happy for the two of you, and I feel awful about how I reacted. And… and I'm also a little angry because you didn't tell me anything."
Alex pulled her into another hug. "I would have liked to—believe me. I'd truly like to shout it to the whole world, but I don't want William to face problems."
"I would keep the secret."
"I know, Myri, but everything happened quickly and not in the way I would have preferred, and we're still trying to figure things out."
"What do you mean?"
Alex hesitated, then lifted his gaze to William. Should he really tell his sister what had happened in Narea?
The mage lowered his eyes. "Your Highness, I… was raped."
Myrina turned sharply, and Alex felt her stiffen in his arms. "Oh, William… You don't have to tell me."
"It happened three years ago, in my last year at the Royal Academy of Magic. That… is a wound that never healed. I had hidden it inside myself and forced myself to pretend nothing had happened. At the time, it was the easiest way for me to deal with it."
William pressed his lips together; for a moment he seemed conflicted.
"Before leaving for Narea, I… gave in to a moment of weakness and kissed the prince, and that gesture brought everything back to the surface. Even though your brother tried to make me feel appreciated, I felt nothing but disgust toward myself."
Myrina brought her hands to her mouth. "I'm sorry…"
William gave her a small smile. "It's not your fault, Your Highness. None of us is to blame."
He rested the back of his head against the stone battlement.
"Once in Narea, things fell apart rather quickly. I thought I was fine, but I wasn't, and I had a breakdown. I completely lost control over my thoughts and emotions, and I started hurting myself again in an attempt to smother everything. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop."
Alex brushed a hand against his, and William laced their fingers together.
"Then a merchant set his sights on me. He became convinced I had to be his and tried to rape me. Your Highness intervened, but I got angry with him. In my own eyes, I didn't deserve to be saved. I only wanted someone to tear me apart and take away the little hope I had managed to cling to."
"That merchant," Myrina murmured, "he was arrested, right?"
"No, he was killed. After Your Highness intervened, he had me kidnapped to hurt the prince. Your brother ran to save me, and the merchant was killed in the fighting."
"Serves him right."
"He deserved a more painful, slower death than an arrow through the throat." William turned toward Alex and looked him in the eyes. "Your Highness has seen all my cracks and shadows and accepted them anyway. I still don't feel worthy of standing at his side, but every time he touches me, the disgust toward my body fades, and for a moment I think that I, too, can be loved."
Alex lifted a hand and silently caressed his cheek. He loved every detail of him, from his sharp tongue to the wounds he carried with him. From the way he defended him to the gentle way he clung to his chest for comfort.
Myrina cleared her throat, and Alex flinched.
"I should…" she said. "Well, am I in the way? Should I leave?"
"It's not like we're going to start making out with you around."
"But if you want to, I'll go."
Alex frowned. "There's no need, Myri. We're here to talk to you."
"Well… thank you. For not getting angry and for forgiving me. I'm really happy for you."
She hugged them both, and Alex smiled and stroked her head.
"Don't tell anyone, all right?"
"My lips are sealed. And I can cover for you, if you want."
"Thanks, little sister. I knew I could count on you."
"But if you hurt William, you'll have to answer to me."
Alex laughed. "Are you becoming like Franziska?"
"I say it because sometimes you can be insensitive. William is my friend."
"I'm very happy about that. My grumpy raven needs people he can trust."
"What kind of nickname is that?"
"Why? Ravens are adorable."
"They're gloomy!"
"And very intelligent."
Myrina turned to William. "If he bothers you, just tell me and I'll handle him. I'll scold him so badly he'll come back to you in tears."
"Very well, Your Highness."
"Oh, I… I'll go get changed. And study a bit." She stood up. "See you later!"
She disappeared inside, leaving them alone at the top of the tower. Alex closed his eyes; the sun on his skin was a pleasant, warm caress.
"Thank you, Will."
"For what?"
"For telling me how you felt." He opened his eyes again and looked at William. "From now on, I'll do everything to make you feel worthy of being loved."
"You're already doing a good job, Your Highness."
"I'm glad." He kissed him. "And I hope you are too."
"I am." William stood. "We should get to work. We only have a week before the vote, and we still don't have a strategy. Besides, we need to take care of the kingdom's affairs."
Alex sighed, but he got to his feet. "You're right. Better roll up our sleeves."
They went back inside and headed to the study, chatting softly.
For the rest of the day, they worked in silence, tackling most of the piled-up work. They handled correspondence with the forts, reviewed requests for money, equipment, and mounts, and reassigned troops and officers from one post to another.
From time to time, Alex cast a brief glance at the mage and lost himself in the elegance of his profile, and the graceful way he held the pen as he traced words across the page.
Shortly before dinner, they tidied the desks, and William stood to put a few books back on the shelf.
"After dinner, it would be best to come back here and work a bit more."
Alex quietly approached him from behind, his eyes fixed on the nape the side braid left exposed. William didn't seem to notice his presence.
"Maybe we can review the information the duchess gave us and establish a course of action. Your Highness, are you—"
Alex made him turn and pulled him into his arms. And he held him tight, as if someone might take him away.