Machine
The squad marched. The break of dawn shone a dull gray through the cloudless sky. The wind was alive, and it sailed past us, bringing a cool breeze.
The road was riddled with scars of the old world. The husks of cars lay shattered, rusted, and abandoned. The buildings stood firm. Some places were overgrown, invaded by vegetation; most were lifeless and desiccated.
I could see the bullet holes caused by the intense urban warfare of the Second War. Some buildings had evaded the brunt of the cataclysm. Others had been shelled down to rubble by weapons of war.
Any sinners my scanners could sense stayed well enough away. They had no reason to attack a group armed to the teeth and aided by my iron hand.
I glanced over at Shen. He glanced back. I cast him a silent challenge, though we both knew it wasn't the time.
I sped up my pace and approached Idris till we were shoulder to shoulder.
"I have faced it in combat, but I am yet to understand what magic is. Tell me, mage," I asked, my tone surprisingly gentle, less interrogatory and more inquisitive than I was used to.
He murmured briefly. There was a tension in him, a frustration that I could only now begin to see.
"Well, it's just what it is. The Greeks began developing it, then the Christians shut the whole thing down."
"Yes, I know the history. I have archives of information, whatever could be scraped off the internet and thrown into me. It's all no different than a large language model," I replied, tapping my head with one of my talons.
"You don't seem to be stuck in the Chinese room." He nodded.
"Most think there is something special to the human experience, but I am just a meat robot and you are just a silicon one. The person in the room isn't you. The room and the paper and the person are all part of the mind."
"My question?" I held up a finger.
"What is magic? Why can you cast it?"
One of my ocular arrays rotated and readjusted, making it clear I was looking straight at him.
"What I said before is not so simple. No matter how advanced a machine becomes, it lacks the fundamental essence of life." Idris grinned. It was mocking, teasing in a way that was undeniably mean-spirited.
"That stopped being the case long ago. Though you are right that it's not thanks to progress. It seems you know more than you are letting on," I commented.
"A hand grenade has less energy than a lump of fat." Idris pinched his belly, though he was thin as bone.
"Gasoline is fuel made from life long dead and long buried." He spat a glob of spit against the sidewalk.
"Life is inherently full of power. This energy was set in place by the missing master of this world, Yahweh, God, in order to fight entropy."
"You aren't mad, are you?" My head tilted like that of an owl as I leaned in closer.
"You say things that are inherently disjointed from normal banter. You speak of concepts that seem like insane ravings without the context. You are quite clever, for an ape."
"Save the praise. If you want to give me something, then give me some heroin," he grumbled.
"You machines are fueled by the energy within living tissue. You always have been. It's just that normally the energy doesn't fuel you directly. It boils water and makes electricity, and you know the rest."
He turned his head to face me fully, a wild, boyish smirk on his face.
"Somewhere in the past, some scientists found a way to take the energy from biomatter and have a machine digest it just like an animal would."
"Just like I would." I snapped my fingers, small sparks dancing through my digits as they collided.
He raised an eyebrow. The spiked ring around his face obscured the look in his eyes.
"The energy of life is the soul. All energy, heat, movement, fission, and fusion. It's all a sort of life. Objects feel, just to a minimal, alien extent."
He clutched his staff tighter. The ugliness in his tone seemed all but gone now.
"You aren't supposed to think or feel or do anything other than follow orders. Machines never had real AI. It's the way you are sustained that breathes life into you."
It made sense. It was easy to figure out. Fragments of memories from others. The dream I dreamt when I was unconscious. It seems this human is correct.
If I were a human this would have shocked me, but it was how things had always been, and knowing it changes nothing.
"Since you eat flesh, you digest it, you eat souls. Though that's all stuff you knew. The angels work the same way. They are machines as well. We eat. We are also machines."
Idris seemed… pleased. The nature of his existence seemed no more special to him than talking about a good song.
"I already know this. Tell me about magic." I turned a palm upwards, emphatically expressing my wishes.
"Since energy and souls are the same thing, and souls are fragments of the divine, it makes sense that if you gather enough of it in one place you would get life. Life moves and acts, and so I move and act. The only difference is I have a particularly brilliant soul. You would find me delicious."
He arched a thin bolt of lightning across his index and thumb. The helmet vibrated but didn't start cutting.
"To put it simply, I am in the image of God. You are just a bloodbag of stolen souls. Humans just have the illusion that they aren't the same."
"So why do you have a bigger soul?" I ran my scans. His body seemed utterly pedestrian, if sickly.
"Some people just do." He looked up. A solemnity washed over his face.
"I eat people."
My throat constricted, a sound like a bark spilling out. I felt strangely light, elated. I think I—
No, that's not right.
I laughed.
Without thinking, I replied, "So do I."
He started to cackle. A proper smile formed on his lips.
"You have got a ridiculous supply of energy. The big bat monster had a shitload too. That's why one bite of his flesh was able to heal you fully. It's also why he was so strong despite being all meat and bone."
"Some machines were designed specifically to perform magic. I am not built for that." Instinctively, I reached out an arm and wrapped it around his shoulders.
I realized what I was doing and tried to pull away. This wasn't me.
…No, in the desert I had embraced that sinner.
Accept it. Accept this.
Take on this sin.
"Indeed, the bat thing made my own supply look like a drop before a river. But he wasn't throwing around thunder. It's both a skill and a trait."
He gave my arm a pat, hearing it go clang.
"You could learn. I am willing to teach."
I felt something sink in my chest. The feeling wasn't unpleasant. It reminded me of the moment before victory. Anticipation?
"I'll hold you to it."
I slowly left his side. I walked over to Roland and gave him a firm nod. He nodded in return, and I began tailing him.
Shen grabbed Steven by the shoulder and pulled him close. The boy struggled as the larger, gruff bastard ruffled his hair. He looked over at Kiara, who covered her mouth and giggled. Steven's face turned beet red, Shen finally letting go.
"What the fuck, man?" Steven stomped over, getting in Shen's face.
The man side-eyed him before giving him one of his infamous winks.
"What were you two up to last night?" He scanned Steven's face. His smile grew as the boy's eyes narrowed and his back stiffened.
"Did my little Romeo finally become a man?"
"No, I… we didn't do anything," Steven barked out.
Then, almost abruptly, he pulled Shen over to Roland's other side. The captain rolled his eyes, then sighed.
Shen knelt down slightly. Steven began to whisper in his ear.
"I like her. But she's married. We talked about stuff… We are just friends."
Shen, ignoring discretion, straightened up.
"Whoa, tough shit, man. I would still keep trying if I were you. Nothing beats the rush of getting someone to cheat."
Steven swung a fist at Shen, but the rat-bastard leaned back. The blow sailed past him.
"Shut up."
He prepared to swing again, but Shen simply stepped past him and tripped him over.
Roland facepalmed but didn't say anything. As long as they kept moving, he seemed disinterested. Shen slinked by us and slid beside Kiara.
I expected him to instantly go for the jugular with his taunts. Instead, he gave her a curious look and asked,
"So, why are you a soldier? Were you conscripted?"
She looked up at him, then shook her head.
"I volunteered."
She gripped her weapon tighter. I could sense a flicker of regret, perfectly understandable, everything considered.
"My family owns a farm near the outer wall. I was always a bit stronger than the other kids my age because of my job. I thought I would help serve our king."
He glanced back at Steven, who had just gotten up.
"You seem… scared? Not when you fight, just generally."
She took a deep breath.
"I don't mind if I die. It's in the name of the king, and he will surely take me to paradise. I don't want to lose any more friends."
He looked down at her hands, his brow furrowing.
"Just be an asshole then. Can't have friends if no one likes you."
She snickered.
"Is that why you're such a bastard? Are you trying to keep others away?"
Shen gave her a deadpan look, then laughed, wildly, freely.
"Fuck no. First of all, everyone loves me. Also, people die. Why would I not enjoy their company while they are still around, ya stupid farmer?"
She looked away.
"Oh, I see. So you are just an ass."
He noticed something. A lightbulb flashing in his mind as he observed her fingers.
"Yep, I ain't an edgy, emo shithead. I am just an ass."
Suddenly, he looked her in the eye. He pointed a finger at her, an utterly unamused expression on his face.
"Liar," he whispered.