Chapter 295: Don't Make a Baby
Satania and Takanashi Rikka were happily sprawled out on the floor with the two little girls, giggling as they devoured another episode of their favorite anime. Their laughter filled the room with a light, chaotic warmth. Meanwhile, on Kobayashi's side of the living room, the atmosphere was much calmer as she chatted quietly with Raphiel.
One had to admit, Raphiel carried herself with the kind of grace that came naturally to someone who knew exactly how to control the room. Every movement was elegant yet relaxed, and her soft smile radiated warmth without any sense of superiority. Her long, silvery hair glowed faintly under the light, and the faint curve of her lips seemed perfectly measured—neither too kind nor too distant. It was the kind of smile that made people lower their guard unconsciously. No wonder she was so popular at school; it wasn't just her looks—it was that serene, confident aura.
Kobayashi popped a grape into her mouth and said casually, "Raphiel, you must be really popular at school, huh?"
Raphiel folded her hands neatly on her knees and tilted her head modestly, giggling. "It's not that big a deal. Everyone's nice to me… well, except Kouya. He doesn't seem to like me much."
Kobayashi raised an eyebrow. "Eh? Why do you say that?"
"Maybe Kouya just doesn't like girls around his own age," Raphiel mused dramatically, puffing her cheeks. Her tone carried that hint of teasing sweetness that made people unsure if she was joking or serious. "Perhaps he prefers the soft, tender, big-eyed kind of girls—ones even younger than him?"
Kouya froze. His expression darkened immediately.
Oh great, so that's what this is about—you're calling me a lolicon again, aren't you?
Besides being small and soft, what's so great about those lolis anyway!? What do they even talk about—snacks and nap time!?
Kobayashi blinked, her hand hovering halfway to the grape bowl. Her eyes drifted toward Kouya and then—almost on instinct—shifted to the blue-haired dragon girl watching anime on the couch.
Hey! What's with that look!? You seriously believe that rumor just because she said it!? Unbelievable!
And come on, how twisted would I have to be to be interested in that gluttonous baby dragon who stares daggers at me if I don't feed her! (╯‵□′）╯︵┻━┻!
"Staaare—"
The faintest, most unsettling little voice came from below.
Kouya looked down—and sure enough, the blue-eyed dragon girl had tilted her face up, her pure sky-blue eyes fixed unblinkingly on him. Then, in that soft, sleepy tone of hers, she muttered three syllables:
"...Lolicon."
"Pffft!"
Kouya nearly spat blood on the spot.
You little demon in dragon's clothing! Go back to being cute and dumb! And stop talking unless someone asks you! Otherwise, I swear, no snacks for a week!
Noticing the gathering storm on Kouya's face, Raphiel immediately stuck out her tongue playfully and stood up. "Tohru-onee-san, need help in the kitchen?"
Tohru's golden eyes narrowed dangerously. "Absolutely not!" she declared with fire in her voice. "As a maid, the kitchen is my sacred domain! No outsider shall trespass here. This is my battlefield and my destiny!"
Oh please. Since when was cooking part of a maid's destiny? That's the chef's department!
Raphiel clapped her hands together, her eyes glimmering with admiration. "Amazing! Truly the spirit of a devoted maid!"
"Hehe~" Tohru's fang flashed as she grinned proudly.
Seriously? You actually bought that? That wasn't admiration—that was pure flattery! No wonder you fall for scams online.
Still, Tohru, now full of energy, started showing off her cooking skills. The sizzling wok echoed through the kitchen, filling the air with the delicious aroma of meat and vegetables. The sound alone could make anyone's stomach growl. The rhythm of the spatula hitting the pan was hypnotic. The scene would have been picturesque—if not for the way Tohru's massive chest bounced with every motion, threatening to burst free from her maid outfit at any moment.
...
Earlier that day at the park, Kobayashi had called ahead to ask Tohru to prepare dinner, and with Kouya's group spending extra time at the supermarket, the timing lined up perfectly. Not long after everyone finished their anime, Tohru's voice rang from the kitchen:
"Dinner's ready!"
Raphiel appeared from the kitchen as well, smiling sweetly. "Everyone, go wash your hands! Dinner will be ready soon!"
Satania and Rikka immediately hopped up, following Kanna and Saikawa—two energetic lolis—toward the bathroom to wash up.
Kouya frowned slightly, feeling something off. When Raphiel winked and said, "Kouya-kun, could you bring the rice cooker over?" it finally clicked.
No wonder that tone sounded familiar… That gentle, commanding attitude—like the head of the house—that's exactly how Vigne used to act!
...
"Let's eat!"
Dinner was soon laid out. The table was full of color and fragrance: stir-fried pork with celery, scrambled eggs with cucumber, golden shrimp tempura, and several kinds of fish dishes that sparkled under the light.
"Kouya-kun, please enjoy," Raphiel said, sitting close beside him. She gracefully picked up a piece of sashimi, carefully mixed wasabi and soy sauce, and placed it in front of him. Her expression practically screamed, Come on, praise me already!
I can eat sashimi myself, you know! What next—are you planning to spoon-feed me?
Kouya was about to say something snarky when Kobayashi gave him a very obvious thumbs-up. "Not bad, Kouya. Keep it up!"
"Huh? Keep what up?" he muttered.
He turned, only to see Raphiel's face tinged a faint pink. Her gaze had dropped to her lap, her smile turning shy and delicate. The whole picture screamed bashful maiden.
Kouya: "..."
Oh for crying out loud. So you're taking the roundabout route, huh? Playing the long game, pretending to be shy. Classic manipulation tactics straight out of a dating guide.
He remembered reading one online—"Winning a girl's heart through her friends." The post had said most girls were like Schrödinger's cats—their feelings flickering somewhere between existence and nonexistence. Direct advances might scare them off, but subtle support from a trusted friend could tip the scale.
At the time, Kouya had dismissed that advice entirely. The only "friends" he knew were angels, demons, and one unpredictable shrine maiden. If he ever tried getting one to talk to another on his behalf, he'd probably start a celestial war.
"I'm not eating it," Kouya said finally.
Raphiel blinked, pretending to pout. "Oh? Then do you want me to feed you instead?"
"..."
Kouya's expression darkened again. Before he could answer, Kobayashi coughed pointedly.
"Kouya, eat up before the food gets cold." She winked, her tone meaningful. The message was clear: Don't waste a girl's feelings, idiot!
With a resigned sigh, Kouya picked up the sashimi and put it in his mouth.
He wasn't particularly fond of sashimi, but he didn't hate it either. Every now and then, it was a nice change of pace.
Come to think of it, Japan's fish consumption probably outweighed even rice. From grilled saury in the morning to fried, boiled, or roasted seafood throughout the day, fish was a national staple. But sashimi—raw fish sliced paper-thin—was something special.
It took skill to make. The fish—usually tuna or bonito—had to be fresh and clean, with no muddy odor. Once deboned and skinned, it was sliced with precise, practiced motions until the meat shimmered like glass. Dipped in soy sauce and wasabi, it melted smoothly on the tongue.
The sashimi before him was from tuna. Its pale red color glowed under the lights, with perfect white marbling along the edges. Tohru's knife skills were flawless; each piece was so thin it was nearly transparent. It looked like edible art.
Incidentally, the "kuai" in the old idiom "kuai zhi ren kou" referred to a dish similar to sashimi. People literally praised it as "a delicacy known to every mouth."
...
After dinner, when the others were busy cleaning up, Kobayashi tugged at Kouya's sleeve and led him aside.
Her cheeks were faintly flushed from the beer she'd had earlier. Thankfully, she'd remembered she had guests, so she hadn't gone overboard—but still, the gentle red tint gave away her transition from "stoic flat-chested glasses lady" to "tipsy, unfiltered elder sister."
"Kouya, there's something I need to say," she began.
"Hm?"
Kobayashi leaned in slightly, her tone serious. "Kanna is still a child."
Oh come on! How many times do I have to say it!? I am not a lolicon! That dragon child doesn't even register on my radar!
"Then why don't you like girls your age?" she asked suddenly.
"Who says I don't!?" Kouya shot back instinctively.
"That's good," she said with a sly glint in her eyes. "That Raphiel girl seems really nice—pretty, polite, confident. I think you two would make a cute couple."
That's because you haven't seen her true colors! She's a manipulative trickster who toys with people for fun!
Kobayashi adjusted her glasses, the lenses flashing. Her voice turned grave. "Even if she likes you, you two are still high schoolers. There are… certain things you shouldn't do."
Oh no. This conversation was going somewhere dangerous.
"If you ever can't hold back, at least be safe," she said seriously. "Whatever happens, don't make a baby."
"Pffft!!" Kouya nearly coughed up blood.
What the hell!? We're not even in that kind of relationship, and you're already worried about babies!? What's next—are you going to plan our wedding and pick baby names!?
"Don't take this lightly," Kobayashi went on, her tone becoming that of a responsible older sister lecturing a rebellious teen. "Studies show that high schoolers have trouble controlling themselves when it comes to the—beep—"
Whoa whoa whoa! What kind of word was that!? It got censored!?
"Kouya," she sighed, "you have to be disciplined. If something happens, it'll ruin both your futures."
Ah yes, the perfect summary of a tragic love drama: the reckless boy who couldn't control himself and the poor girl stuck with consequences.
"Cousin, you're drunk," Kouya said dryly, the corner of his mouth twitching.
"Eh? I only had one beer..." she murmured innocently.
Yeah, and apparently that's all it takes to unlock the 'bold advice' mode in you. Normally you'd never be caught dead talking about this.
Before she could continue, Kouya raised his voice. "Tohru, she's drunk—help her get some rest!"
Whoosh!
Tohru instantly appeared beside them, eyes shining as she grabbed Kobayashi's arm. "Understood, Kouya-sama!"
Kouya barely had time to blink before he saw the full weight of regret flash across Kobayashi's face.
Because her arm had been swallowed whole into Tohru's endless, bouncing cleavage—like a helpless little boat sinking into a stormy sea of flesh.
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