Chapter 171: The Spitting Mushroom
"Don't worry about me..."
'Don't worry about you?' So what, you expect me to stand by and watch you starve, living off dirt and stubborn pride? Maybe next time during PE you'll faint mid-run because you haven't eaten in days. Then, the nurse's office will have another hungry demon to look after.
A soft breeze drifted in through the open window, carrying the faint scent of grass and chalk. Vigne's hair fluttered gently, and a few golden strands brushed across her eyes. She tucked them behind her ear in that graceful way of hers—her hand pale and smooth as porcelain, faint veins like delicate lines beneath translucent skin. The sunlight gave her a kind of quiet beauty she didn't even notice herself.
Kouya, watching without meaning to, suddenly recalled a ridiculous line from a TV drama he'd seen last night:
'It's fine if you don't bring a bento... I'll eat you instead.'
Yeah, right. Say that out loud and you'd get skewered by her trident before finishing the sentence.
He coughed lightly, shaking the thought off. "How about this—why don't you come over to my place?"
Vigne froze. Her eyes widened, panic flashing across her face. "W-what do you want to do?!"
What's with that defensive posture? Did she really think he was about to pounce on her?
Kouya sighed inwardly. "Relax. You can cook well, right? I meant you could help me with dinner and eat with me. That's all."
Her shoulders relaxed slightly, but she still shook her head quickly. "No thanks. I'm not going."
Kouya shrugged. "Suit yourself. By the way, there's a maid café nearby that's hiring. You could try applying."
Her expression instantly changed from shy to offended. "The one you guys went to yesterday? Rikka and the others already told me in the group chat. I am not wearing a maid outfit!"
She glared at him suspiciously. "Don't tell me you actually want to see me in that kind of outfit?"
"Yeah," Kouya said without missing a beat. "It would look good on you."
Her face went crimson from her neck up. She bit her lower lip and glared at him again, torn between embarrassment and irritation. "N-no way. I already found a part-time job."
"Oh? Where at?"
"The coffee shop down on food street. You know, the one with that old man who brags about his signature blend?"
Before he could say another word, someone walked past. Vigne immediately turned away, her voice dropping to a whisper. "I'll go eat my bento now. You go to the cafeteria or something."
Then she hurried off, walking fast as if being seen talking to him might cause a scandal.
...
Kouya eventually made it to the cafeteria, grabbed a tray, and found a seat. The place buzzed with voices, the smell of curry rice and fried chicken thick in the air. He was halfway through his meal when he spotted Vigne entering with Satania, Gabriel, and Rikka.
The red-haired idiot looked seconds away from tears, her cheeks puffed and her nose runny.
"What happened to her?" Kouya asked.
Vigne sighed deeply. "That little white dog showed up at school again. It scared Satania so badly she dropped her only rice ball... and it rolled under a vending machine."
"..."
A demon who gets bullied by a dog. Six times in one week. Kouya didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
'How are you even qualified to call yourself a demon? Go back to demon kindergarten and try again.'
...
They found a table. "Let's eat here," Rikka suggested, her ahoge bouncing cheerfully as she sat beside Kouya.
Gabriel plopped down across from them, slamming her bento on the table. "Ugh, why isn't it the weekend yet? I just want to stay home and game all day."
Vigne sat next to her quietly, unwrapping her simple homemade meal. Kouya couldn't help but glance over. Her bento was as modest as ever—an omelet rice folded perfectly, three slices of tomato, and a few pieces of vegetable tempura that looked slightly over-fried. A humble meal, but somehow it fit her gentle personality perfectly.
Gabriel, on the other hand, had a store-bought lunch, something greasy but edible. Rikka's was colorful and elegant, obviously prepared by her older sister Touka, every piece neatly arranged like a work of art.
"Mmm~ this mushroom udon is amazing!" Satania announced with delight, slurping loudly. "Speaking of mushrooms, I heard this weird joke yesterday!"
Kouya tensed. Whenever Satania started a sentence with I heard a joke, nothing good followed.
"What joke?" Vigne asked, smiling politely.
"It goes like this!" Satania rested her chin on her palm, eyes shining mischievously. "There was this guy who liked taking naps in the forest. One day, a little girl came by to pick mushrooms. She started counting—one mushroom, two mushrooms, three mushrooms, four mushrooms, five mushrooms, five mushrooms, five mushrooms... no matter what, she couldn't pick up the fifth mushroom! Later that night, she cried to her sister, saying, 'Sis! A mushroom spat at me!'"
The whole table froze.
"..."
Kouya nearly choked on his drink. 'Did she just—'
Vigne's expression turned pink, her eyes darting nervously toward the nearby tables. "Satania, please—don't say that kind of thing out loud!"
"What? But it's so weird!" Satania puffed her cheeks. "How can a mushroom spit? It makes no sense! It's biologically impossible!"
A few girls at the next table snickered, trying not to laugh outright. Gabriel smirked, resting her cheek in one hand.
"Honestly, Satania, you're hopeless," she said. "You've never even read your health textbook, have you?"
Satania's face turned red for a completely different reason now. "I—I have! But it's boring! Every time I open it, I get sleepy!"
Rikka chimed in eagerly, her ahoge wagging. "I know what you mean! It's the same with my math and physics books! I can read all the words, but when they're together, it's like some strange spell. Totally incomprehensible! Maybe someone cast a 'cognitive interference' curse on us!"
Kouya facepalmed. "No, you're just lazy."
He looked around. Even some of the nearby students were giggling now. Vigne covered her face with both hands, her ears glowing red. "Satania, can we please stop talking about spitting mushrooms?"
But Satania just clenched her fists dramatically. "Hmph! I'll prove it! I'll go pick mushrooms myself after school, and none of them will dare spit at me!"
Vigne groaned audibly this time. "Please don't..."
...
Hours later, the classroom had emptied out, sunlight stretching long shadows across the desks. Most students had gone home, but Gabriel remained in her seat for once, chin propped on one hand, her golden hair glowing in the amber light. The wind rustled through the open window, brushing her bangs lightly across her face.
Vigne approached, surprised. "Gabi-chan? You're not heading home yet?"
Gabriel didn't look away from the sky. "I'm thinking about something important."
Vigne blinked. "You... thinking seriously? That's new."
Gabriel gave a faint smirk. "I'm considering life's biggest question."
"Oh no," Vigne muttered. "You're not planning to blow up the world again, are you?"
"Nothing that dramatic," Gabriel replied, sighing. "I just realized something: studying medicine can't save stupid humans."
Vigne blinked again, utterly lost. "Studying medicine? What are you talking about?"
Gabriel leaned back in her chair, looking exasperated. "Okay, fine. Not medicine—priesthood. Being a priest can't save dumb humans either. Last night, in our raid party, that idiot Ayako kept messing up the mechanics. If friendly fire were allowed, I'd have smited her into next week. Now I'm debating whether to make a new character. Maybe a toxic support build... but that means spending more cash again."
Vigne stared for a long moment, expression blank. Then she sighed deeply. "You're hopeless."
"Maybe," Gabriel said with a shrug. "But at least I'm self-aware."
Vigne shook her head, collecting her things. "Fine. You think about your 'important' stuff. I've got somewhere to be."
With that, she hurriedly turned and left.