Chapter 144: Kiss the Left, Then the Right
Vigne: "Gabi, are you listening? Remember to go to school tomorrow morning."
Gabriel: "The newbie you're trying to reach has powered off. Please try again later..."
Shut up!
How can you even send messages if you're powered off, huh?!
"The teacher already took attendance. If you don't show up tomorrow, the consequences will be serious."
"I don't care, I don't care — the turtle keeps chanting, and I'm not listening!"
Kouya, the veteran lurker in the group chat, had absolutely no desire to participate. He silently scrolled, his eyes half-closed from disinterest.
Just as he was about to put his phone down, the notification sound chimed again.
"Hey, Kouya. You're online, right?"
It was a private message from Vigne.
Kouya blinked. "How'd you figure that out?"
"Because your icon shows you're online," Vigne replied cheerfully, attaching a tongue-out emoji. "By the way, are you home yet?"
"Yeah, just got home."
"Good. That's a relief. Don't forget your homework, alright?"
Kouya: "...You too."
...
The night slipped by quietly.
By the time morning light crept through the blinds, Monday had arrived.
The school campus was once again filled with half-awake students dragging their feet, clutching textbooks they hadn't opened all weekend. The air was heavy with dread—the Friday exam results were being returned today.
For Kouya, though, none of it mattered. He had already accepted his place: not at the top, not at the bottom, perfectly average. Not good enough to be praised, not bad enough to be scolded. It was the safest, most peaceful spot on the academic battlefield.
The same could not be said for the self-proclaimed future ruler of Hell.
Satania lay face-down on her desk like a corpse washed up on shore, radiating despair. Her entire posture screamed I give up on life.
Beside her, Vigne sighed helplessly. "Satania... at least you passed one subject this time."
"Only one!" Satania groaned miserably. "Math is evil, Vigne! Pure evil!"
"Math isn't evil—you're just bad at it," Raphiel chimed in sweetly from behind, smiling as though she'd just sprinkled salt on an open wound.
Satania twitched. "You're mocking me again, aren't you?!"
Vigne could only sigh again. "What am I going to do with you..."
Just then, Raphiel drifted closer with her usual angelic poise. "By the way, Vigne, you looked awfully serious just now."
"And you appeared out of nowhere again," Vigne said flatly. "How did you even get here so fast?"
Raphiel touched her lips, feigning innocence. "I walked, of course."
Yeah right. You've got a teleportation skill labeled Angelic Mischief or something!
"Brave one, brave one!" Rikka suddenly bounced over to Kouya, her steps light as ever. Her brown eyes sparkled with pride. "Guess what? I scored ten points on math this time!"
Kouya blinked. Ten. Ten. Compared to the two she got on the entrance exam, that was a fivefold increase. In terms of percentage growth, it was astonishing.
Still... ten.
Congratulations, you're tied for last place with Satania.
But at least Rikka's performance wasn't entirely hopeless—she got perfect scores in Japanese and social studies. She had potential, unlike a certain red-haired devil.
After Vigne finished scolding Satania, Raphiel casually made her way to Gabriel, as she always did. Without warning, she pressed her soft chest against Gabriel's head, resting her chin on top of the blonde's halo.
"Gabi~ wanna go get lunch together? I'll even treat you."
Gabriel gave her a flat, disgusted look. "Don't rub me with your boobs. Go away."
"Wah—it's Shiraha-senpai!" squeals erupted around the room.
Several students huddled near the door, blushing furiously. "She's so cute! So elegant!"
Of course, among the quartet of angels and demons, Raphiel had the most fans by far.
Kouya, meanwhile, had achieved notoriety at the start of the year. His rumored exploits—cohabiting with the girl behind him, an incident involving a bloody bedsheet, and general 'perverted tendencies'—had branded him as That Guy. Most people now avoided speaking to him altogether.
Satania was infamous as the class idiot, known for her bizarre outbursts. Even freshmen treated her like a dangerous anomaly.
Gabriel, once revered as a saint, had fallen from grace so thoroughly that her former 'holy girl at sunrise' image was now considered a collective hallucination.
Rikka was the shy transfer student who mostly faded into the background.
And Raphiel? Adored by everyone. Her beauty, her charm, her deceptively sweet personality—it all made her impossible to hate. A 'Shiraha Fan Club' had even formed at school. Their slogans ranged from "Shiraha belongs to us!" to "Men are forbidden within ten meters of her!" and even "I want to have Shiraha's baby!"
Kouya only knew about it because, earlier that morning, a top fangirl had confessed to Raphiel right at the school gate. The scene had been so awkward that the story had spread across the entire campus by lunchtime.
The classroom door slid open again. A new teacher entered—Shizuka-sensei, the new literature instructor. Her wavy brown hair framed a pleasant but slightly weary face.
Despite being clearly in her thirties, she insisted during her introduction that she was only twenty-nine, single, and 'in her prime.' A brave fool from another class had once joked about her age—and had promptly been sent to the hospital by a single 'Friendly Fist of Discipline.'
As long as you didn't mention age or marriage, Shizuka-sensei was the perfect teacher: warm, engaging, and refreshingly humorous. The only issue? She always went off-topic.
Today's lesson was no different. While explaining a classical text about fishing boats and twilight, she suddenly veered into chaos.
"Speaking of rivers, I must mention India's Ganges River! The people there are wonderfully welcoming. If you visit, they'll offer you a precious bowl of sacred Ganges water as a sign of respect: 'My friend, please—drink this water!'"
Such sincerity! Such culture!
No—such a death wish! Anyone else would end up in the hospital within hours!
The class broke into muffled laughter. Even Vigne pressed a hand to her face, trying not to laugh.
But Shizuka-sensei wasn't finished. "And speaking of India, it's said women travelers face danger there. The capital even has a nickname—'beep—' City! Forcing women to suffer like that—absolutely unforgivable! Such nations should be erased from the map!"
The girls blushed. The boys coughed awkwardly. The entire classroom seemed ready to crawl under their desks.
Kouya, expression blank, laid his head down and muttered, "She's at it again..."
Just then—poke poke poke.
Oh no. That familiar sensation.
Again with you, Gabriel.
Are you seriously poking me again after everything that's happened?!
He turned sharply, scowling. Gabriel instantly withdrew her hand, looking innocent as she slid a folded note toward him.
He sighed and unfolded it. The handwriting was surprisingly elegant.
'Do you have time the day after tomorrow? Come with me somewhere.'
Kouya wrote back instantly: 'No.'
Gabriel glared. "You bastard! I haven't even settled the score from that night! How dare you reject me!"
He nearly choked. 'You poked me, you yell at me, and now you bring that up?!'
"You were the one who barged in and kissed me, remember? How's that my fault?"
Gabriel's cheeks turned pink. "Y-you—shut up!"
Kouya smirked, writing another note. 'Is it because you didn't get kissed on the right side?'
Gabriel blinked. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Your OCD, right? Didn't you only get kissed on the left that night, not the right? That's why you're uncomfortable. It's bothering you, isn't it?"
Her face exploded into red. "You jerk! I'll kill you!!!"
Gabriel's hands trembled as she fought back the urge to throttle him. After a deep breath, she hissed, "Whatever! Shut up! There's a game releasing the day after tomorrow, and you're coming with me to buy it. That's final!"