Chapter 141: German Orthopedics
"W-we're not boyfriend and girlfriend!" Vigne snapped back to her senses, her whole body stiffening like a startled cat. Her voice rose sharply, her cheeks flaring crimson as she shook her hands in panic.
"Eh, is that so?" The two children blinked, confused by her overreaction, then looked curiously at Kouya as if waiting for confirmation.
Kouya thought for a beat and finally said lazily, "Listen to her."
"Ah, I see now." The kids nodded knowingly, eyes glinting with fake maturity. "Understood, senpai!"
What exactly did you understand, you brats?!
He was just trying to avoid a hassle! That smug look of "We've figured everything out" made him want to throw them into the lake.
"Well then, we won't disturb your... date. Bye!" The kids bowed quickly, then ran off giggling before Vigne could open her mouth.
Left speechless, Vigne bit her lower lip and glared daggers at Kouya. "Why didn't you explain properly?!"
"Explaining is troublesome," he replied with an indifferent shrug, as if that settled everything.
Vigne puffed her cheeks out, her blush deepening. She turned away, arms crossed, lips trembling faintly.
Just being mistaken for a couple made her chest tighten and her heartbeat quicken uncontrollably. She tried to convince herself otherwise.
N-no way! That's impossible! We're just classmates! Not even close to that kind of relationship!
And besides... he hadn't even asked her out or anything!
While her thoughts tangled in embarrassment, the soft plop of water drew their attention—Kanna had caught something. The little blue-eyed dragon pulled up her fishing rod triumphantly. A small, palm-sized carp dangled from the hook.
She watched it flop weakly in the bucket for a moment. Then, bored already, she set her rod aside, leaned over, and stared at it with her usual blank face.
And then—while Vigne wasn't looking—she picked the fish up, opened her mouth, and gulp! swallowed it whole.
"Kanna! What are you doing?!" Vigne nearly dropped her rod.
Sure, people here ate sashimi, but straight from the bucket without even cleaning it?!
"Not tasty." Kanna frowned, unimpressed.
Poor fish. You died for nothing.
After discovering that live fish didn't taste as good as she hoped, Kanna abandoned fishing entirely and wandered off to chase dragonflies instead.
Warm sunlight poured through the clouds, scattering golden flecks on the water's surface. A gentle breeze rippled through the reeds, carrying the faint scent of lakewater and wildflowers. Birds wheeled above, their songs sharp and cheerful in the distance.
Kouya stretched his arms and closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling slowly. 'Yeah... days like this weren't bad at all.'
His brief moment of peace ended when two high-pitched voices pierced the air.
"Master! Master! We're here!"
Two tiny figures sprinted toward him, twin pigtails bouncing, their frilly maid outfits fluttering in the breeze. Panting slightly, they stopped in front of him and clasped their hands behind their backs, smiling up adorably as if awaiting his praise.
"Go away," Kouya muttered flatly.
Their smiles froze. "M-Master, do you not want us anymore?" they whimpered in perfect unison, eyes brimming with tears.
Kouya felt a vein twitch on his forehead. How was he supposed to answer something like that?!
Both lolis were practically identical—same height, same voice, same perfect doll-like faces. The only way to tell them apart was by their hairclips: Ai wore a blue one, Natsu a red one. Vigne had bought them for that exact reason.
"What did I just hear—'Master'?!" a gruff voice interrupted. An older man fishing nearby turned around, his face twisting in shock. After looking at Kouya and the girls, his expression darkened with disbelief. "Making your little sister dress as a maid to please you... young people these days really do play too rough."
Kouya froze. Oh no.
The man studied him, mistaking Kouya's silence for guilt. Any normal brother would be red-faced right now. But this kid? Cool as ice. That only meant one thing.
He's too far gone!
The more someone represses such forbidden affection, the worse it bursts out later! Maybe one night he'd lose control and—
The old man shuddered. 'No! I can't let this tragedy repeat itself!'
He cleared his throat dramatically. "Young man," he said gravely, "I used to be just like you—a hopeless siscon. Until one day, I was sent to the German orthopedic clinic."
Kouya blinked. 'What the hell did this guy just say?'
Which part of him looked like a siscon?! He didn't even have a sister! And—wait—what exactly did this man do to end up in German orthopedics?!
The old man coughed awkwardly. "Ahem! Forget I said that."
Yeah, right. No one could forget that.
He tried to change the subject, shaking his head solemnly. "Anyway, your 'sister' looks only eleven or twelve—still just a child."
Ai immediately stomped her foot. "Not a child! Ai's a grown-up now! And what's wrong with serving my Master?"
"That's right! We love Master the most!" Natsu chimed in passionately.
The man gawked. They had actually said 'serve'—in public!
After a moment of dumbfounded silence, his face shifted into awe. "Incredible... you've already trained your sister to this level."
Kouya twitched. Shut up already! Any longer and someone would call the police!
The man let out a long sigh. "Listen, son. I've still got the clinic's number. Maybe book a slot in advance."
Kouya's only response was a deadpan stare.
A short while later, Takanashi Rikka trudged toward them, her head low, eyes shiny and wet. Even her trademark ahoge drooped sadly.
"Rikka? What's wrong?" Vigne asked softly.
Rikka sniffled. "I... I'll never get married now..." she whimpered, collapsing onto the grass beside them.
Vigne blinked. "Huh? We've only been apart half an hour. What happened?"
Rikka hugged her knees and gazed blankly at the lake, her eyes filled with sorrow and despair. The scene looked almost poetic, if it weren't for the melodrama dripping from her tone.
"Tell me what happened," Vigne said, frowning with concern.
Rikka took a deep breath, voice trembling. "I... I got splashed in the face by something sticky and gross..."
Vigne's entire expression hardened. "You mean—someone—?!"
Rikka nodded miserably. "He told me not to be scared... said if I just stroked it gently, it'd be fine. I did... and then it sprayed me! It sprayed me right in the face!"
For three seconds, silence hung in the air.
Then Vigne's eyes turned pitch black.
"What kind of monster would do something so vile in broad daylight?!" she hissed. The temperature around her seemed to drop ten degrees.
Her fists clenched as guilt and fury twisted together inside her chest. "I thought letting you go ahead was safe... I should have been watching you!"
Her aura flared, practically freezing the air. "Did you call the police?!"
"No..." Rikka mumbled. "The police won't catch it anyway."
"We can't let them walk free! If the police won't act, I'll make sure they pay myself!" Vigne's voice boomed with righteous wrath.
"Where's the culprit?!" she demanded.
Rikka pointed toward the pet shop. "Still there."
Vigne's pupils narrowed dangerously. "They're still hanging around the scene of the crime?! Unbelievable!"
Her fists trembled with barely restrained rage. "Come on! I'll teach that pervert what happens when they cross me!"
"No need..." Rikka whispered. "I already scolded the alpaca."
Vigne blinked. "Wait... what?"
"Yeah. It spat on me... gross. I'll never get married now..." Rikka's voice wavered pitifully, tears filling her eyes again.
Vigne froze. "S-spit...?" The icy aura behind her flickered erratically.
Kouya rubbed his temples. 'So that entire story was about alpaca spit...'
Even being spat on by an alpaca wasn't that bad! How did she turn that into a tragic monologue about her future marriage prospects?
He sighed. Back in Gensokyo, he'd seen a certain ancient youkai—best not to name names—get splattered with far worse things and still live happily.
Then again... had she ever gotten married?
"Vigne... are you okay?" Rikka asked timidly, sensing the chill in the air. Her ahoge quivered in fear.
Vigne's lips curled into a sweet, terrifying smile. "I'm fine. Just... really in the mood to punch someone right now."