Loved All Along
A few days later—
"Jay."
Salina called my name.
"W-What?"
"Why have you been acting strange lately?"
"What?"
"You always seem nervous. Or… unsettled."
"Th-that's not true."
"Really?"
"Of course. Why would you think that?"
She watched me for a moment, then sighed lightly.
"Well, fine. I think I'll be able to finish work around noon today for the first time in a while."
She smiled brightly. "If you'd like… do you want to go on a date?"
"T-Today?" I stuttered. I hadn't expected that.
"Yeah. I know it's sudden. Are you busy?"
She was in a good mood. Too good.
"Let's see… today is a bit…"
"Do you have a lot of college work?" she asked, touching her cheek as she leaned closer, looking directly into my eyes.
"It's not that," I said. "I'm just a little busy."
I looked away from her gaze.
"Hey, Jay."
"Yes?"
"You really aren't cheating on me or anything… are you?"
"I'm not. I'm not."
"Do you swear?"
She stepped closer.
"Of course."
"In that case… good."
She smiled.
But I could see it.
A deep glare hidden behind that smile.
And I ignored it.
...
I finished my work early, just as planned, and for once, I decided to wander around town by myself. It was my first time doing that in a long while. I visited a few shops I'd always meant to check out, then found myself stepping into a bookstore—something I hadn't done in ages.
I bought a light novel called JUST BECAUSE. A romance, actually. It was… good. Surprisingly comforting.
I took it to a nearby café and started reading.
I don't hate being alone. I really don't.
But today, more than anything, I wished I were on a date with Salina.
Back in junior college, little by little, my childhood friend Salina began to drift away from me. I never understood why. At first, it was subtle—shorter replies, fewer visits. Then, before I even realized it, we barely spoke at all.
By the time we graduated, we had completely lost touch.
He stopped coming to my house.
He ignored me.
He didn't even come to my birthday.
I'd see him once in a while, but even when I tried to start a conversation, it went nowhere—empty words, meaningless exchanges. Nothing like before.
That's why I eventually left my parents' house and moved closer to my workplace.
It hurt.
No—honestly, I was shattered.
I cried. I got angry. I wanted to confront him, to grab him and ask why.
But… I was only his childhood friend.
Did I even have the right to do that?
So instead, I waited.
I told myself I'd wait until I had a reason—some justification—to face him again.
I never truly believed he'd remember that childish promise we made when we were little…
That we'd get married when we grew up.
It was silly. Embarrassing, even.
But that stupid promise was all I had left to cling to.
Because I wanted to be with him again—even if it was forced.
I wanted us to go back to how we were before junior college.
Playing video games together.
Going on trips.
Sharing worries.
Celebrating successes.
I wanted to tell him things I could never tell my parents.
Yet here I was—sitting in a café, lost in my thoughts, unable to enjoy either the coffee or the novel in front of me.
Seriously… this is all I can think about.
I sighed softly.
I wonder when Salina will be done with his plans.
And then—
At that very moment, by pure accident, he entered my line of sight.
Salina was in the same café.
Not alone.
He was sitting across from a beautiful woman—someone I'd never seen before.
My breath caught in my throat.
…So this is it.
I knew it.
If he already has someone in his life, why couldn't he just tell me?
I know I forced my way back into his world. I know I'm being selfish.
But couldn't he at least say something?
Or… do I not even deserve to know that he loves someone else?
That he's already chosen someone?
I stood up quietly and left the café.
I didn't want to see anymore.
I didn't want to accept the reality unfolding right in front of my eyes.
So I ran—from the café, from the truth, from the pain.
My chest ached, tight and unbearable.
And no matter how far I walked—
It hurt.
....
Even after the sun went down, Salina still hadn't come home.
At first, I told myself she was just busy. A delayed shoot. Traffic. Something normal.
But when the clock passed another hour, uneasiness began to crawl under my skin.
I called her.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
No answer.
Each unanswered ring tightened something in my chest.
"…Salina."
I grabbed my jacket and stepped outside.
The night air was cooler than I expected. Streetlights flickered softly, casting long shadows across the pavement. The apartment building looked unusually quiet.
And then I saw her.
She was sitting alone on a bench near the entrance.
Her head was slightly lowered, hands resting loosely in her lap. She wasn't on her phone. She wasn't moving.
Just… sitting there.
Like she had nowhere else to go.
I walked closer to Salina and sat down beside her. She tried to stand, but her body wobbled, her steps unsteady. I reached out and grabbed her hand.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No… not really."
She tried to pull her hand away, and this time, I let go.
"You are," I said softly. "It's okay. When you're free next time, I'll take you to your favorite place."
Deep down, I knew she wasn't upset just because of me. Something else was weighing heavily on her heart.
"Can I ask you something?"
She closed her eyes, as if gathering all her courage.
"Yes," I said. "You can ask me anything."
"What were you doing at noon today?" Salina asked.
"Well, that's—"
I was about to explain, but she interrupted me.
"I'm sure you can't say it," she said bitterly. "You were on a date, weren't you? Or meeting some guy."
"Excuse me?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"Don't try to cover it up!"
Her voice rose—sharp and unfamiliar. It was the first time she had ever shouted at me.
"I'm not trying to hide anything."
"I already know," she said, her voice shaking. "You were with someone at that café today."
"How do you know?"
"Because I was there too."
"…I see."
"So you're not even going to make excuses?" Salina said, her eyes burning.
"Salina…" I called her name quietly.
"Why?"
Her voice broke. "Why do you hate me, Jay? Why do you keep running away from me? Why do you hurt me like this? What did I ever do to you?"
Tears streamed down her cheeks as her shoulders trembled.
"You stopped coming to my house. You stopped talking to me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
"I'm sorry…"
"I don't need your apology."
She wiped her tears roughly.
"But please," I said, stepping closer. "Just listen to what I have to say."
She shook her head slowly. "I don't want to."
"Salina, please."
"That person…" I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper,
"she isn't who you think she is."
---
"So then… what is she to you?" Salina asked softly.
"I bet you still can't say it, can you?"
I didn't answer right away.
Instead, I reached into my pocket and handed her a card.
"Here. Look."
She took it, her brows knitting together.
"A business card?" she asked, turning it over.
"Yes," I said. "That woman you saw… she's a short film producer and director. She even won an award recently. You can look up her name."
Salina stared at the card again, confusion deepening.
"What do you mean…?"
So I told her everything.
I didn't hide anything this time.
I told her how, over the past few years, I'd been writing novels in silence.
How barely anyone read them.
How even after publishing, the sales were painfully low.
How many times I questioned myself, wondering if I was just wasting my time.
"But I never quit," I said softly.
"I couldn't."
I took a breath.
"That director read one of my novels. Just one. And she decided to make a short film out of it. That's why I met her."
Salina stayed quiet.
"But… why novels?" she finally asked.
I smiled weakly.
"Because I wanted to become something too."
I looked away, my chest tightening.
"Back in junior college, you became a model. You kept shining brighter and brighter. And I was just… left behind."
My voice trembled despite my effort to stay calm.
"I hated that feeling. I hated myself for feeling it. I kept thinking—at this rate, I won't even be able to stand beside you anymore."
I clenched my fist.
"That's why I wanted to become someone. Someone you wouldn't feel embarrassed standing next to."
Salina's eyes widened slightly.
"So… that's why you wanted to be a writer?"
I nodded.
"To be honest," I said, "I planned to come see you only after I succeeded. After at least one of my books became famous."
I let out a small laugh.
"But you came back to me before I could prove anything."
She lowered her gaze.
"But you never told me any of this."
"What was I supposed to say?" I replied.
"That I'm a rookie writer with no fame and no readers? That sounds lame, doesn't it?"
I shook my head.
"And how could I ask you to wait for me? I didn't even know if I'd ever make it."
Her hands tightened.
"But still…" she whispered.
"I wanted you to say it. Just one word. If you had said it… I would've waited."
Her voice cracked.
"I would've waited as long as you needed."
"I'm sorry," I said quietly.
She looked up at me.
"But… what if I had been with someone else?"
I didn't hesitate.
"Then I would've taken you back," I said firmly.
"Don't underestimate the power of a childhood friend who's known you their whole life."
Salina froze.
"Does that mean…?"
I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her.
"Yes," I said against her shoulder.
"I love you. I always have."
She laughed softly—and then I felt her shoulders shake.
"Are you crying?" I asked.
"N-No…" she said, then laughed again. "Okay… maybe a little."
Her smile, mixed with tears, was the most beautiful—and strangest—thing I had ever seen.
If someone cries because the person they love finally confessed to them…
doesn't that mean they were loved all along?
---
When we got back to the apartment, she collapsed onto the bed as if all her strength had drained away. I helped Salina lie down, and within moments, she was asleep—quiet, peaceful, like a child.
Her fingers curled around my hand.
I tried to pull away gently, but even in her sleep, she refused to let go.
"…Well," I murmured, "it can't be helped."
So I lay down beside her.
Up close, her breathing was steady, her expression soft.
She was… beautiful.
And unexpectedly cute.
---
"Jay… Jay?"
A frantic voice echoed through the apartment early the next morning.
"Where are you? Don't tell me it was just a dream!"
I hurried out of the bedroom and found Salina rushing around, eyes filled with panic.
"I'm in the kitchen," I replied.
She froze—then ran straight toward me.
"Tell me," she said, gripping my arms, "last night… we became a couple, right? You said you've always loved me. That wasn't a dream, was it?"
"Yes," I answered softly. "But doesn't your head hurt?"
"I don't care," she said without hesitation. "What matters is how I feel."
She took a breath, steadying herself, then looked straight into my eyes.
"Jay, I love you. I always have. Please… will you be my boyfriend? And someday—my husband?"
I laughed quietly and pretended to think.
"Well," I said teasingly, "why would anyone reject a famous model who wants to date—and even marry them?"
"Okay, Salina, bye. I'm off to college."
"Okay, Jay!" she called after me.
"What?"
"I love you."
"…Love you too."
Ugh. I seriously can't take this.
How can she say it so naturally every single time?
---
By noon, after finishing all my lectures, I headed toward the cafeteria for lunch. But something felt off—noisy. Way noisier than usual.
Boys were gathered everywhere, whispering, giggling, pushing each other. The girl's, on the other hand, looked visibly irritated.
Curious, I followed the crowd.
At the center was a single seat.
And sitting there… was a girl, surrounded by boys.
My curiosity instantly burned to ashes.
Seriously?
Is she some celebrity or model or something?
"Jay."
A familiar voice cut through the noise.
I turned around.
"Excuse me—sorry—excuse me, please!"
The girl made her way through the crowd, brushing past everyone without hesitation.
"Jay, I'm here for you. Let's go on a date. Right now."
…It was Salina.
She had just asked me out—
in front of the entire college.
She walked straight up to me as the cafeteria went dead silent.
"sa… Salina?" I whispered, completely stunned. "What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to have a meeting?"
She smiled casually.
"I explained everything to my manager and apologized. They told me to take some time off and come back later. Apparently, I've been overworking."
She leaned closer and added softly,
"So for the whole week… I'm all yours."
"D-Don't say things that cause misunderstandings!" I hissed.
Too late.
A group of girls suddenly crowded around me.
"Your girlfriend is amazing!"
"She's so cool!"
"Don't ever let her go, Jay!"
Salina tilted her head slightly, amused.
"You're pretty popular, Jay. Looks like you have a lot of friends."
"…Friends?" I muttered.
Most of them were girls I didn't even know.
Honestly, they probably just felt relieved that Salina had a boyfriend now, so their impossible crush could finally die peacefully.
She reached into her jacket and pulled out a single rose.
"Come on. It's our first date. Where do you want to go?"
…Why is she doing this so publicly?
I hesitated for a second, then accepted the rose.
"Th-Thanks."
"Good." She smiled and grabbed my hand.
Gasps echoed around us.
The girls looked like they'd just witnessed history being made.
The boys, on the other hand, looked ready to celebrate.
And just like that—
My life with Salina began.
Full of embarrassment.
Full of surprises.
And overflowing with her overwhelming love and care.