Danzo Shimura left, taking with him intelligence on rogue ninjas worth a full three hundred million ryō.
In the end, the old warhawk could only grit his teeth and swallow Kakashi's outrageous demand.
"No personnel."
"Half the money."
Danzo had once again been reminded of just how stubborn this young man could be.
Yet the moment he stepped out of the Hokage Building, the sullen mask slipped from his face, replaced by an eerie calm. He glanced back at the towering structure and let out a low, scornful chuckle.
"Still too green. Obsessed with petty profits."
"With real power, money is the least of your worries."
Kakashi, of course, had to play the hard-liner to hide his true aims.
And wasn't Danzo doing the exact same thing—feigning greed for Anbu authority to conceal his deeper ambitions?
In the end, both men were acting.
It simply came down to whose performance was more convincing…and who would see through the other first.
None of that mattered to Kakashi, though.
In his mind, Danzo Shimura had three years left, at most.
The day Kakashi formally took the Hokage seat would mark the beginning of the countdown on Danzo's life.
He had zero interest in keeping a Root insect buzzing under his nose forever.
As for Anbu being understaffed?
A problem that simple didn't require Root to fix.
They could just…recruit.
While Danzo spent the next few days gleefully absorbing the slices of Anbu authority that had been carved off for him, three figures appeared at the main gates of Konoha.
"You little brat—if you lied to me, I swear I'll punch you straight into the intensive care unit!"
A woman with long golden twin tails, flawless features no man could complain about, and a figure that turned heads even in a simple green jacket, was glaring daggers at the stiff-faced Asuma Sarutobi.
"Well, Lady Tsunade…" Asuma scratched his cheek, forcing an awkward smile. "The old man's still muttering your name from his sickbed, y'know."
"He keeps calling out 'Tsunade…Tsunade…'"
"It's so sad that anyone who hears it weeps, and anyone who listens cries rivers."
"Please, just…hurry and go see him—"
Asuma met those furious phoenix eyes head-on, refusing to back down even as he dramatically squeezed out two fat tears.
Watching a grown man cry like a drama queen right in front of her, Tsunade felt a chill crawl up her spine.
"Shizune, we're leaving!"
She shot Asuma one last venomous glare, then reached for Shizune's arm to drag her toward the Sarutobi compound.
But Asuma was faster. He grabbed Shizune's wrist first and planted himself firmly between the two women.
"Eh?"
Shizune blinked up at him in confusion.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, brat?!"
Tsunade whirled around, looking ready to commit murder.
Asuma's mind raced, brain cells dying heroic deaths by the thousands.
Then—eureka!
He snapped his fingers. "Ah! Lady Tsunade, now that Kakashi's the acting Hokage, obviously you don't have to show him any respect when you come back. But Shizune's different, right? Why not let her stop by the Hokage Tower first and pay her respects on your behalf? It's only polite."
Tsunade's elegant brows furrowed. She considered it for half a second, then nodded curtly at the bewildered Shizune.
"Go."
With that single word, she turned and stormed off toward the Sarutobi residence.
The instant Tsunade's back was turned, Asuma's expression did a complete one-eighty.
"Quick, this way!"
He didn't even give Shizune time to process before yanking her along and Body-Flickering straight toward the Hokage Tower.
"Eh?!"
"Eh??!!"
"EHHHHHHHH?!!"
What is even happening right now?!
Shizune's brain short-circuited as she was dragged along like luggage.
BAM!
The office door practically exploded off its hinges.
Asuma burst in, hauling a thoroughly dazed Shizune behind him, and skidded to a halt in front of an equally baffled Kakashi.
"I brought her!"
"Stamp this, now!"
He slapped a travel pass onto the desk like his life depended on it—because it absolutely did.
Kakashi didn't have a clue what was going on, but muscle memory from Asuma's frantic warning two days earlier kicked in. Without a word, he grabbed the Hokage seal and slammed it down.
If Asuma didn't get out of the village in the next thirty seconds, he was a dead man.
Double homicide—courtesy of his own father and Tsunade.
Faking a terminal illness to trick the Slug Princess into coming back with Shizune in tow?
Only Asuma Sarutobi would be insane enough to try that.
"W-what's going on…?"
Shizune stared blankly at the two men who had just executed the smoothest con she'd ever witnessed.
Asuma had yanked her arm so hard it still throbbed. She rubbed her wrist, trying to figure out what fresh nonsense these two were—
—whoosh—
Asuma snatched the stamped pass, bolted to the window, vaulted out, and vanished toward the main gate in a cloud of dust.
…
For some reason, Shizune suddenly felt very, very sold.
While she was still processing the betrayal, Kakashi calmly pulled a pre-prepared document from his drawer and set it on the desk. Before Shizune could blink, he grabbed her hand, pressed her fingers into the ink pad, and stamped her print squarely on the paper.
Mission complete.
Kakashi allowed himself a tiny, satisfied smile.
Now Might Guy was deputy commander of the jōnin forces.
Asuma was off to the Fire Daimyō's side as one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja.
And Shizune had just become his official Deputy Director of the Medical Department.
All the best of their generation—neatly arranged under him.
Even he himself was only "acting" Hokage…
Suddenly the smile felt a little tragic.
Why was everyone, himself included, stuck with "deputy" or "acting" in their titles?
"WHERE IS THAT LITTLE BASTARD ASUMA?!"
KABOOM!
The office door—this time for real—flew clean off its hinges and embedded itself in the opposite wall.
If Kakashi hadn't ducked on pure instinct, the historic door that had witnessed generations of regretful Hokage would have taken his head off.
Smoke and dust billowed through the room.
From the haze emerged two furious figures, footsteps ringing like funeral bells.
Tsunade—and a very much alive, very pissed-off Hiruzen Sarutobi.
Never mind Tsunade's murderous aura; even the normally cheerful Third Hokage looked like he was two seconds from committing filial homicide.
Who the hell can explain this crap to me?!
He'd been napping peacefully when his prized disciple barged in, dragged him out of bed, and demanded to know if he was dying!
It took them ten solid minutes of shouting to figure out that his idiot son had told Tsunade he was on death's doorstep!
Good-for-nothing brat!!!
Hiruzen ground his teeth so hard he nearly cracked a molar.
Come out, come out, wherever you are, my dear son!
It's been three whole years since I last used my Adamant Staff—time to let King Enma stretch his legs!
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