Raya Marin
My fingers caressed my desk. They were playing around as if they had their own consciousness. A breath escaped from my mouth as I leaned back on my chair. The class was more silent than it's supposed to be.
I looked at Maki and Lulu`s direction, but they were silent too. The two girls that I called "my best friends" were quiet and lost. It was the first day of the new year, yet everyone was in a state of despair, that including me too. I got up from my seat as I realized that no teacher would come and lecture us a lesson. Lessons that meant nothing. I was here trying to get my love back, while getting distracted by "essentials of life." I accept such a life no more.
I looked back at my class as Nya looked back at me. She had the eyes of a scared cub. And the rune that she tried to hide with a turtleneck was hidden poorly. If one looks at Nya`s neck from certain degrees they can see the rune easily. The thought made me look at my own rune that was engraved on my right palm. The rune of freedom was now a part of me. I used it only once, and that was with the help of Angel Of Imagination. I found it funny that I didn`t much care about the angel`s existence. I accepted it, because I knew that there were many things in this world that I never heard, saw or felt. "World..." But Aspin called it a "realm". If I remember correctly she said something like "Green Realm". What was that supposed to mean? She also said "other realms", which was even more confusing. I don`t understand, I don`t know and that makes me mad. I want answers. I want... conviction.
"Hi Raya!"
My brother's eager voice greeted me. I looked at him with a forced smile.
"Hey, big bro."
Cole moved out of the door so I could get inside. My big brother was not in a good mood either, I could feel his silent anger. I don`t really like to pry into Cole`s personal life, even though we are siblings we still like to keep the rights or wrongs secret if we want it to be like that.
"Do you have Opie`s phone number? It slipped my mind yesterday."
I looked at Cole, a silly smile crept my face.
"Why would you need her phone number?"
I asked, my voice teasing. Cole blushed:
"Well... For some important needs." He answered.
I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't. I had neither the want nor the will to laugh. But again, a forced smile did the work. Cole looked away as he saw my smile.
"You. Are. Not. Funny. "
He said with a scowl. I didn't tease him back. I nodded my head and took my phone out of my pocket, and sent Opie`s phone information to Cole. Cole smiled happily as he picked up his phone and saw the message.
"Now, was that too hard?"
I shook my head, not giving him a straight answer. My brother rolled his eyes and typed something on his phone, a moment later he looked at me with a rather sad expression.
"Do you think Grey is okay?"
The same ridiculous question that I heard a thousand times. It irritated me. But well, I know that I couldn't take out my anger from them, after all I didn't tell anyone that Grey was alive. The reason I did this was to prevent even more chaos. Did it work? Yes, I guess.
Cole looked away right after he asked the question. Guilt and regret flashed on his face.
"Sorry, sorry. I shouldn`t have asked it to you. You are probably shaken up a lot."
"He is. I believe that he is."
I finally answered. I threw myself to the couch, Cole did the same, sitting next to me with a curious face.
"Why did you not tell me that Grey was your boyfriend?"
I turned my back to him while hugging a small pillow.
"Because I love him." I said.
Cole let out a breath and murmured under his breath:
"Well, how much do you love him?"
"More than..." I stopped myself for a second then continued "one can understand. Its beyond understanding."
Cole giggled.
"Hey, Raya. You know I`m not an idiot right? I can feel, see, understand and sense all of the sadness coming from you."
I slowly turned around, my eyes were still on the small pillow I hugged tightly. Cole was... quiet. I thought that he would be angry for keeping a secret like this from him, but he was not upset, he cared about Grey.
"I miss him." I said with a low voice. "I miss him so much."
Cole opened his arms wide, as a big, bright smile spread across his gentle face. I slowly hugged him. He closed his arms, embracing me in a warm hug. But no matter the warmness of the hug I couldn't hold it any longer. Tears welded up in my eyes and then they quickly began to fall. My big brother stroked my hair while kissing me on the top of my head.
"Shh... It's okay, it's okay. Everything is going to be fine, okay?"
My sobs were not letting me speak; I couldn't just say that it was okay. I want my Grey back. I want my heart back. I need him back. Maybe I am a crying bitch. Maybe I am a baby. Maybe I am just a stupid ignorant girl. But I also know something about me that isn't a "maybe". I will do anything to get him back. For him, I will make the infinite finite, the finite infinite. I will make this world spin backwards. I will take the Moon and smash it on the Sun. I may not be an angel, I may not be a god, but I am a human that loves, and that's more than enough. I am Humanities Greed.
Before I knew it, the tears had already gone dry. I was no longer sobbing but smiling. Smiling like a little baby. Cole stroked my hair as he looked at me with the eyes of a big brother.
"Don`t ever cry in front of me again, or else you will make me cry too."
"Just shut up." I murmured
Cole laughed as he let me go. I looked around for a second, not really knowing what to do first. Then my eyes went back to Cole`s.
"Do I want him to awaken to see the aether? I asked myself.
This was a question that I was so in the middle of. On one side, I wanted him not to awaken because I didn't want him to suffer like me and the others did. But the other side wanted him to awaken, so that he could see the real world around him. The world that is behind curtains. I shook my head as I stood up. Cole looked at me with a confused face.
"What the hell are you thinking?"
I stretched my arms as I gave my reply.
"I am thinking of eating an outer power that infects in its own likes. "
"Huh? What? What kind of thought even is that?" My big brother asked.
I didn`t add any more details to my reply. I looked around my house, a place I called home. I liked it here, I had many memories that clashed to be the best. I looked at the door, when I got out everything would change. I will make it change. Cole also stood up, looking at me with a proud smirk.
"Just don't do anything you will regret." He said in a low voice.
I nodded my head and slowly walked to the door, opening it and welcoming the falling snow. I closed the door behind me and slowly walked towards the white. People were all around of course. Who wouldn't like to play in snow? But the aetheric mottes that were there in the wake of the snow was the real deal.
"Mom, look what a beautiful girl!" A kid`s cute voice came from my side.
I turned around and saw a small boy pointing his finger at me and a woman which I assumed to be the boy`s mother. The mother slap the kid`s finger away.
"Oh, I am so sorry, miss. My boy here has very poor manners."
I smiled gently at the boy and kneeled down in front of him. The boy looked happily at me through his thick clothes to protect himself from the cold. I patted the boy from the head.
"What's your name?"
The boy blushed and looked down.
"My... My name is Astrid." He said
"What a cute name." I said with a gentle tone.
The boy blushed even more than before and I stood up.
"Bye Astrid." I said while walking opposite to him.
The boy shouted "thank you." It was a charming moment but I already had the moment dismissed in my mind. I was walking to a place I deemed enough to use the power of freedom. And finally I had arrived at my destination. A place filled with snow. I was before the library where I first found the book long ago when I was just a child. The Lineage City`s one and only "Great Library Of Ion". Now that I look at it, I can see the meaning of the name quite well. The Pillar Of Time and the Monarch Of Incomprehensibility. But how did the person that opened this library know of the name? Did this mean that there were more like us? How much? And where are they now?
"Dont rumble your mind with such supererogatory thoughts girl."
I quickly looked up to the place where the voice had come from. She was looking down on me from the roof of the building. She weaved a hand towards me. Her staff in her other hand.
"Hey, Raya. Miss me?"
I looked at Aspin, narrowing my eyes at the apostle. She had an arrogant smile on her face. Without wasting any second Aspin jumped from the roof and landed next to me.
"You humans must really like to name things you make after the Pillars."
I didn't answer her, instead I ignored her and entered through the doors of the library. I heard Aspin laugh behind my back and after the laughter died she spoke in a low, smug voice.
"No matter what you do, no matter what you accomplish, no matter how powerful you get, you can never save the Flaw."
I stood before the librarian, who was looking at the old computer on her desk. She had small round glasses and short white hair. She hadn't noticed me yet so I coughed a couple of times to get to her attention. After the third cough she finally looked up from the computer.
"Oh, hello miss–" She stopped herself, looking at me up and down.
"Oh, Raya, dear sorry I couldn't recognize that it was you."
I made a nice smile on my face.
"No problem, Miss Lolly. I know it has been a long time."
Miss Lolly smiled.
"You have grown to be a beautiful young woman. I'm sure a lot of boys are chasing after you."
I blushed a little and scratched my cheek.
"Yeah... But I mean I already have a boyfriend, so I don't really care about boys that much."
Miss Lolly`s eyes flashed for a moment.
"My, my. How nice, but I hope that he is a good young man. He is treating you nice right? Just don't make the same mistake as I did. Oh god I hate that bastard."
My eyes looked away not knowing what to say. I mean, does she even know who Grey is?
"Nah, don't worry, mine is the best you can ask for."
Miss Lolly let out a breath.
"Good, good. So then tell me, what is this lucky boy`s name?"
I liked the woman, but I was also getting tired of the constant questions.
I opened my mouth to say that I had to go, but the moment I was going to speak, Miss Lolly froze. Her eyes locked into something. Something that was on my back. I slowly turned around with dread thoughts. And as I expected, Aspin was standing before me. Her staff was on her right hand. She looked like an angel, but she had the eyes of a devil.
"Wha... Wha... Who are yo–"
I looked at the librarian from the corner of my eye. Before Miss Lolly can complete her fearful sentence a shockwave went through the ground. She stood still, her jaw hanging open. And then the shockwave went through the rest of the world. The world froze once again by the power of the Apostle Of Time. I looked at Miss Lolly`s sorry face, then to Aspin.
"Mhm... By the name of Ion, she looks old."
Aspin`s fingers went to her mouth. I scowled:
"Maybe that's because she is old." I said in a mocking tone.
Aspin rolled her eyes and then threw her staff in the air. The ice staff transformed to an ice chair in midair. The ice chair fell and stood straight in the ground, facing me. Aspin danced her legs like I do and after her legs danced for a moment she happily sat on the ice chair. She looked straight at my eyes and smiled mockingly.
"What? Cat got your tongue?"
"Why did you do this?" I asked, my voice undercut with anger.
Aspin crossed her legs in a comfortable position. Her hands on the back of her head she licked her soft lips.
"Until only time remains, I will continue. Until there is nothing more left to stop, I will continue. I will continue until my great wish of inevitability is granted."
I clenched my teeth at her bullshit goal. I pointed my right hand straight to her overconfident face. I wanted to use the rune of freedom at her.
"You think you're better than us humans because you are an apostle of a god?"
"Of a Pillar." She corrected me. Her stupid smirk remained.
She looked at the rune of freedom and shrugged.
"Do you really think that you can hurt the being that gave you the very rune you use to attack?"
I saw aether around us. Thousands were there. I needed them. I wanted them. I bit my lip, refusing the urge to talk back. I may look weak and desperate from outside, but from the inside I am a girl that dreams of the skies. And now, I dream of beating Aspin.
Aether gathered all around me as my will pulled off the aether into the rune of freedom. Aspin frowned at me and at the rune.
"You know, I still wonder why you act so differently, in while you don't even know what you want yourself."
I replied immediately, not wasting a single moment.
"Becasue I saw a dream. A dream that I always see. A dream that continues and will continue till eternity becomes beyond. In that dream I saw myself as a guardian in the skies of heavens. I saw myself as the devil who unleashed the storm. In that dream I saw many things. In that dream I loved. I cared. I cried. I laughed. I smiled. I fought. So no! I know what I want. And I know what I need. Needs and wants that you will never know nor understand. I may be just a human girl, but I am also girl that dreams of true freedom above the skies. Freedom from the shackles of this world. Freedom from everyone and everthing. And I will get what I want until I die."
Aspin looked up. She murmured something then looked back at me, her eyes danced wildly like they were flames. All the joy in her face had vanished in just mere seconds.
"How foolish you are! Do you want freedom from a life that is already near perfect? Fine then I will show you what a true, miserable life is."
Aspin weaved her hand in the air, as she did the ice chair despaired. She stood with an intent that felt suffocating. I was getting crushed under her intense power. Aspin walked towards me with slow but wrathful steps. My lungs on the verge of collapse, I fell to the floor.
"You act like you are a victim of this stupid world. You act like a true hypocrite. If you think that your life is chained, then you know or understand shit."
I tried to get up, I failed. I tried to use the rune of freedom, I failed. I tried to lift my head up,I failed.
"You are just a little bitch of freedom!"
Aspin summoned her ice staff, which looked even more dangerous than before.
"Wha...t is happening?" I asked.
What was I supposed to do? I never felt this much power. She was no apostle to me. Right now, in my very eyes stood a pure being of hate. Aspin was not just a woman with a cool staff, she was the one who controlled all the flow of time.
"How pathetic you are. How much more could I do to wreck your little mind. You came here to seek answers, but I will give you more than what you can possibly learn from this useless place, people named after the Great Pillar Of Time."
My vision was fading. My sense of smell and touch were already gone. And now I was even weaker than a newborn chick.
"Now behold, the truth and the lies. Behold, the power of a god."
Aspin slammed the tip of her staff to the floor and with the sound of an ice branch cracking, I was no longer in a state of despair. I was floating.... in air? Aspin was floating beside me, her face dead. Her staff was still in her hands. My hair was all around me. I looked front and gasped to the place before me. I stood before the Great House of Five. The five rulers of Earth, centred in Ashore City.
"You do not even dream of ending them. Stubbornness and freedom are not the same Raya." Aspin said, her voice calmer than before.
I felt little in the presence of the great house. The house was lifted to the air with the help of five golden pillars beneath. Around us crows, people, everything was solid freezed in their places.
"I can`t just kill them." I retorted. "The Five are gods amongst man."
Aspin rolled her eyes at my words.
"They are no 'gods'. They are just humans with power."
I looked at her, narrowing my eyes.
"And do you know what a mere 'human' can do with power?"
Aspin waited a moment before replying. She was looking around us. Blue aetheric particles were everywhere. Aspin looked down and sighed.
"I do know. I know far more than most." Aspin said in a low voice.
She raised her staff and aetheric mottes flew towards it. The staff absorbed hundreds of mottes and our surroundings shifted once more. We were before a statue . A statue of a woman. She was beautiful. Her eyes were fierce. Her long hair was almost at her knees. The color of the statue had long peeled off. I knew where we were well. We were before the Great Statue Of Vita. It was located in the heart of Pronica City.
"Pillar Of Life Arsha, The Primordial Hunger Of Life."
Aspin looked at the statue with a sad face.
"She is beautiful." She whispered, then added: "The Pillars are all beautiful. They saved me. They gave me a new purpose for existence. I owe them everything."
"Why?" I asked. My voice was low too, maybe it was low because I was lost, just like her.
"Why was the reason that they helped you? And now, what is the reason you help me now?"
Aspin was silent. I was silent. The knowledge I needed was in her. I wanted to know what I missed. Aspin finally looked at me and laughed, catching me off guard.
"I... I don't know." She said between laughters. "Maybe it`s because you are just a small fish in a gargantuan ocean."
Aspin raised her staff once again. The staff began to glow. Glow so much that it was impossible to look at it. I guarded my eyes with my hands and tried to see Aspin under the glowing ice staff. I could only see a glimpse of her face. Aspin was uncharacteristically happy, but also destructive.
"Now descendent, beware in your trial of the third. And remember do not trust anyone. One can look cute but can be a monster, and a devil can be a hope. No one is who they seem are in the true hivemind."
I tried to say something to the apostle but my voice couldn't speak. And then the glow covered my entire eyes, as first light then darkness filled them. When I opened my eyes I was no longer floating, I was no longer before the Great Statue Of Vita. I was now standing in a place that felt empty but also full. There was a strange purple sky above me and a mirroring water beneath my feet.
"What the hell?" I asked around, my voice and my senses dull. I was alone here and so no answer came. Until I heard a voice that reminded me of the Last Enigma.
"Welcome descendant of Destruction Raya Marin! You have achieved your third awakening! Now get ready for your trial against 200.000 other awakened. And remember: Do Not Trust Anyone!"