This afternoon in Jakarta, the sky was shrouded in a blanket of gray, a dull and uninviting hue that stretched across the horizon as if it were a canvas painted by a somber artist. The heavy clouds loomed above, casting a shadow over the city, as if they were guardians of untold secrets waiting to be disclosed. The air was thick and humid, wrapping around the inhabitants like a weighted cloak, which contributed to an unsettling atmosphere that seeped into the very essence of the day, stirring an inexplicable unease that clung to the soul. In a sleek, modern apartment situated in the bustling Tebet area, a man named Bima stood in silence on the balcony, his gaze drifting vacantly over the lively streets below, now a chaotic blend of cars, bicycles, and pedestrians hurrying about their afternoon routines. His mind was a storm of conflicting thoughts that intertwined with the oppressive ambiance of the day, a cacophony of emotions swirling chaotically within. It had been a week since he had signed a pivotal contract with a German soccer club known as Bochum II, a significant milestone in his life, yet instead of feeling elation, he was consumed by the weight of new pressures and expectations, leaving him restless and filled with anxiety that invaded his nights, depriving him of the peaceful sleep he desperately sought.
Inside the apartment, the atmosphere was punctuated by a heaviness that mirrored the outside gloom. Clara, a woman of quiet determination, sat in the warmly decorated living room, her eyes fixated on the glow of her laptop screen, which displayed an orientation schedule for an upcoming PhD program in Utrecht. On her desk, a cup of cold ginger tea sat nearly untouched, steam no longer rising from it, and beside it was a boarding pass meticulously prepared for her journey: 'Jakarta – Amsterdam – Utrecht, January 22.' What had once felt like a monumental achievement was now transformed into a poignant reminder of the impending separation from Bima, a stark symbol of the end of the beautiful moments they had shared, memories which now seemed to dissolve like mist in the morning sun, leaving behind a palpable sense of loss.
After what felt like an infinity wrapped in silence, it was Clara who finally spoke, her voice slicing through the oppressive quiet of the room. "I don't understand, Bim," she uttered, her words laden with confusion that mirrored the tumult within. "We only have three weeks before two countries will pull us apart. You signed that contract, and I'm set to head to the Netherlands. Yet, instead of feeling relieved, it's as if the weight of everything has only grown heavier."
Bima's gaze shifted to meet hers, concern etched across his features as he contemplated her words. "Because we're hiding everything from Aiden," he replied, the realization of their shared predicament dawning upon him.
Clara's gaze fell to the floor, unable to muster a refutation of that painful truth. "Every time he sends a message asking 'How are you guys doing?', it feels as if I should tell him the truth. But if we were to be honest now, he would feel the heartbreak of losing two close friends all at once. He's at such a crucial point in his life, Den. Piling that kind of emotional burden on him now would be cruel—it would crush him."
Bima ran a hand over his face in deep despair before taking a seat opposite Clara, the heaviness of guilt settling heavily within him. "I feel guilty too, Clar. Aiden is not just a friend; he's like a brother to me. But every time I'm near you, all of my rational principles seem to evaporate. I can no longer decipher what it truly means to do the 'right' thing."
With a quiet resolve, Clara closed her laptop, redirecting her unwavering gaze back to Bima. "We cannot afford to think in terms of 'right' anymore. We've been navigating this murky territory since that defining moment on the Pulau Seribu. What we need to focus on now is preventing this gray area from turning completely black when Aiden returns to Jakarta."
Bima nodded slowly, his mind processing her statement. "He said he's coming back, right?"
"Yes," Clara replied, her voice soft, almost inaudible, as if she were afraid to voice the reality they both faced.
"That means our time is running short," Bima continued, rising to pace over to the dining table where two passports lay open in a stark reminder of their individual futures—his passport showcasing the freshly granted German work visa acquired only yesterday, and Clara's passport revealing the Schengen student visa that would prepare her for her journey to the Netherlands. Though they resembled each other in their green bindings, each passport represented diverging paths ahead, yet the emotional bond between them remained steadfast. "You realize, Clar, we're out of time to strategize a solution?"
"We don't need a perfect solution," Clara corrected him softly, her tone reflecting resignation. "What we need is the courage to keep moving forward as we have been, without causing him any unnecessary pain."
Bima looked at her in disbelief, the weight of their situation saturating the air around them. "Courage? Clar, how do you plan to conceal this relationship when he finally comes home? Do you genuinely believe Aiden is oblivious to our emotional cues?"
With determination in her steps, Clara stood and moved closer to Bima, her expression resolute. "He'll be preoccupied. His research, his upcoming project, that keynote presentation... Besides, I'll be gone before you know it. By the time he returns to Jakarta, I'll already have left."
Bima sighed deeply, trying to release the tumultuous thoughts swirling in his head. "If that's the case, everything just gets even more complicated. If he uncovers the truth from someone else—if he stumbles upon our photos or pieces together fragments of our lives—he'll feel foolish, as if we thought him incapable of understanding."
Clara looked down at the floor, her heart feeling the tension of the moment. "Are you familiar with the term 'delayed honesty' in trauma psychology? Sometimes, revealing the truth later on is a gentler approach because the initial emotional turmoil has had time to settle."
Bima almost let out a bitter chuckle. "You're a psychologist, yet what you're advocating for might just be an entirely flawed ethical experiment."
With an unwavering gaze that exuded determination, Clara replied, "I'm not requesting that you take a morally high ground, Bim. I simply want us to remain safe."
Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself, her heart laid bare. "I love you. But I still care deeply for Aiden—not in the same way as before, but as if he is family. I do not want to lose him. Therefore, the only option we have left is to make him believe that things remain unchanged until both of us are securely settled in Europe."
Bima stepped closer, searching Clara's eyes, holding her shoulders to ensure she understood the gravity of their circumstances. "I get it, Clar. But if everything collapses later on... Are you truly prepared to risk losing both of them?"
Clara responded quickly, the urgency to reassure both him and herself apparent, "It won't collapse."
However, as if fate itself wanted to test their resolve, the stillness in the room was suddenly shattered by the shrill ring of a cell phone resting on the dining table, catching both off-guard. They froze, watching as the screen illuminated with an incoming call labeled 'Aiden – Incoming Video Call.'
As tension thickened in the air, Bima instinctively stepped back and hid behind the sofa, while Clara took a deep breath, striving to stabilize her wavering expression, knowing the importance of keeping their facade intact.
"Just answer it," Bima murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "If you don't, he'll definitely sense something is wrong."
Clara nodded, forcing a smile onto her face even as anxiety churned in her stomach, and she tapped the green icon of her phone. "Hey, Den!" she greeted, hoping to mask her disquiet.
On the screen, Aiden's face appeared, animated and brimming with excitement, framed by the vibrant ambiance of the NeurIPS conference room in Paris, his participant badge hanging proudly around his neck. "Clar! Bim! I just wrapped up the keynote session! My project officially received a grant from the WHO. I mentioned both your names on stage just moments ago, you know!"
From behind the sofa, Bima attempted to project enthusiasm, smiling as he offered his support. "That's incredible, Den! Truly amazing!"
Clara chimed in, her voice softer than usual, trying to imbue warmth into the conversation. "You're really becoming a big deal now."
Aiden laughed, his voice filled with unbridled enthusiasm. "Not yet, Clar. But soon! I plan to return to Jakarta after my research tour. We'll all meet up and share meals together like we used to. I miss you both so much."
Caught in a moment of shared concern, they exchanged glances, anxiety building silently between them. The atmosphere felt heavy, as if they were all performers trying desperately to maintain the integrity of a collapsing stage.
"Absolutely, Den," Bima finally replied, weaving confidence into his voice. "Jakarta will be eagerly awaiting your return. By the way, Clar is also preparing to leave soon. So you'll still have a window to connect with her before she heads to the Netherlands."
Aiden nodded, a look of contemplation crossing his face. "Oh right, I heard you secured a contract with Bochum, Bim. Congratulations! It's wild, you two are thriving while I'm stuck here all alone among two ambitious dreamers."
Clara forced a bland laugh, her voice sounding devoid of energy. "You won't remain single for long, Den. What girl would say no to a dashing AI scientist who can also play soccer?"
Aiden's expression turned playful, his mischievous side peeking through as he raised his eyebrows. "If you think that, then you're sadly unaware of how clueless I am when it comes to relationships."
At those words, Clara instinctively looked down, the internal turmoil within her evident as she tried to keep her emotions in check. Aiden noticed the change in her demeanor and turned his attention to Bima, who remained awkwardly hidden behind Clara. The silence between them felt charged, as if the previously vague distance had crystallized into a palpable reality.
"Anyway," Aiden said, his voice an attempt to clear the heaviness in the air, "I'll be leaving Paris for Zurich the day after tomorrow. Next week, I'll kick off my roadshow in Jakarta. Please don't vanish on me; I want to see both of you."
Clara fought the urge to lie about her earlier flight—tempted to say her ticket was set for departure but prudently stayed silent as wise Bima nudged her leg from behind, prompting her to maintain composure. "Yes, Den," she finally agreed. "We'll be waiting."
Aiden's face broke into a satisfied smile, convinced that their conversation had eased any worry he felt. "Alright then. I can see you both are tired. I'll let you go for now. Super proud of you two!" He waved goodbye with genuine enthusiasm. "See you in Jakarta!"
The moment the call ended, the room fell back into its previous state of dense, foreboding silence. Clara sank into the sofa, her weary visage reflecting the emotional turmoil that swirled within her. "He must be catching on, Bim. Did you notice how keen his eyes were during that last video call?"
Bima rubbed his face with his hands, battling to find some sense of calm, before wandering to the window as if the physical act could help clear his mind from the forbidding thoughts. "Yes, but as long as he lacks any concrete evidence, we remain safe. We simply have to... tread very cautiously from this point forward."
Clara let out a soft, almost fragile scoff, her voice tinged with despair. "Cautious? We're merely emotional prisoners awaiting our inevitable judgment day."
Bima turned back toward her, gently cupping Clara's face with both hands, earnestness radiating from him. "Clar... One philosophy I embraced on the soccer field—if you haven't been flagged for offside, you still have the freedom to play the game."
Clara held his gaze for a lingering moment, searching his eyes for any sign of the resolve they both needed. Ultimately, she offered a bittersweet smile. "But it's not so simple, Bim. In the real world, offside isn't always apparent to the referee; yet it induces trepidation within our hearts every time the ball edges forward."
***
As the night deepened, silence enveloped the room, suffocating their hearts that were now heavy with doubt and anxiety. Outside, rain began to descend slowly from the heavens, each drop adding to the collective melancholy that surrounded them. Their secrets were still securely wrapped away, hidden beneath layers of metaphorical curtains of rain—imperceptible to the outside world but starkly present for those keen enough to listen. Somewhere far across oceans and landscapes, Aiden stared at his phone, a contemplative expression settling on his face. He tried to dissect the every intricacy of the expressions displayed on the faces of the two people he trusted most. Yet, as he delved deeper into his thoughts, an unsettling premonition grew within him, a whisper that warned him they were concealing something significant.
However, as it stood now, no one dared to break the silence. The secret remained a carefully guarded treasure—at least for this moment. In quietude, the three hearts were bound together in a complex, fragile web, dancing precariously along the lines that separated truth from deception, awaiting the inevitable moment when all would be laid bare. But for the present, they continued to play their roles, performing upon a stage of life that felt increasingly beyond their control. The secrets they harbored, like the march of time, awaited the right moment to unfurl into the light of day.
***
The Lufthansa plane that had been transporting Aiden all the way from the beautiful Swiss city of Zurich to the vibrant Indonesian capital finally touched down gracefully at Soekarno-Hatta International Airport at precisely 10:45 p.m., the night sky framed with scattered clouds giving way to a star-studded scene. As Aiden stepped onto the tarmac for the first time in what felt like ages, the unmistakable tropical air immediately enveloped him, a heavy blanket of humidity that contrasted sharply with the dry, recycled atmosphere of the cabin he had been confined to for the past twelve hours. His pale complexion, a stark reminder of his lengthy journey, soon flushed with warmth as the first beads of perspiration slowly traced paths down his temples, eliciting a faint smile that curled on his lips. It was a smile born not just of the relief of finally reaching his destination, but also of nostalgia, as he felt a familiar sensation rise up within him—home, he mused to himself as he inhaled deeply, soaking in the fragrance of the warm, damp air, though in the deepest recess of his heart, his yearning was more specifically focused on two incredibly significant people in his life: Bima and Clara.
With determination fueling his steps, Aiden navigated through the bustling immigration area, his pace quickened by a mix of excitement and impatience to reunite with loved ones and continue on his awaited journey. His keen eyes remained fixated on the bright, illuminated screen of his cell phone, and when it finally lit up with a new message notification from Clara, a rush of anticipation surged through him.
Clara: "Welcome home, Den. I'm really sorry I can't pick you up. I'm helping Bima's mom cook for a small celebration tomorrow."
Aiden eagerly absorbed Clara's short but heartfelt message, reading it repeatedly with care, ensuring that each word sank deeply into his memory. "She's at Bima's house again?" he murmured to himself, a hint of confusion creasing his brow as he considered their familiarity. Without wasting much time, he quickly crafted a light-hearted reply, hoping to match her cheerful tone.
Aiden: "No problem at all. As long as there's food for me too."
Clara responded almost instantaneously, and her words seemed to hang in the air, echoing with a significance that made Aiden's heart skip a beat. "There's always a place for you, Den."
Those uncomplicated but profound words sent a shiver down Aiden's spine, as though they were a secret code that kindled a deeper warmth within him. It felt oddly intimate, bringing forth memories that danced at the periphery of his consciousness, blending the lines between friendship and something more deeply felt.
***
The following morning, the atmosphere at Bima's family home was alive with excitement and laughter, an air of festivity that echoed through every corner of the house. The expansive dining table was lavishly adorned with an array of delectable dishes, showcasing Bima's mother's culinary skills, and she buzzed around the kitchen with uncontainable enthusiasm. Neighbors and relatives filled the space, their cheerful voices rising in congratulatory murmurs over Bima's recent achievement of securing an international contract, celebrating a significant milestone that marked a bright future for him. Aiden made his entrance dressed impeccably in a crisp white shirt, a radiant smile brightening his features, all while holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers carefully selected as a congratulatory gift for Bima.
As he crossed the threshold into the lively living room, Aiden paused for a moment, taking in the scene around him. His gaze landed on Clara, who was diligently arranging plates with meticulous care. Her hair was tied in a casual bun, an effortless style that did nothing to diminish her charm, and her smile—elegant in its simplicity—instantly captivated him. At the opposite end of the room, Bima animatedly engaged with several guests, laughter bubbling around them like a cheerful melody.
"Den!" Clara called out, her head turning in his direction. Her eyes sparkled with delight, albeit tinged with a hint of awkwardness, yet her sincerity was evident. "You came too!"
"Of course I came. I promised I wouldn't be absent," Aiden replied, his smile broadening as he placed the bouquet gently on the table. "You guys look incredibly busy. This celebration feels more like a wedding than just a contract achievement!"
Clara chuckled softly, a light blush creeping across her cheeks as she shifted her gaze behind the table. "Yes, it is. Bima's mother made it a grand affair on purpose. She said this is an event worthy of remembrance—a historic occasion that should be celebrated in style."
Aiden's eyes flickered toward Bima, who was waving at him from a distance, his smile warm yet unassuming. "Den! Long time no see. You look more and more like a German!"
Bima approached confidently, giving Aiden's shoulder a hearty pat, a gesture that spoke volumes about their friendship. "You look thin, Den. I bet you haven't been eating well with all that coding keeping you busy, huh?"
"Coding all the time doesn't mean I forget to eat," Aiden retorted, injecting casualness into his voice. "But yes, I've had some stress with the WHO project yesterday, and it's taken a toll."
However, as Aiden finally settled down at the dining table alongside them, an unexpected tension began to weave through their interactions. Clara's gaze darted away too quickly whenever Aiden looked her way, a subtle indicator that she may have been avoiding certain unspoken complexities. At the same time, Bima often averted his eyes, pretending to busily play with his rice spoon despite not having started his meal yet.
As Bima's mother joined them, the conversation at the dining table began to flow more comfortably, slowly but surely thawing the icy tension that lingered. Yet, amidst the laughter and chatter, Aiden couldn't help but notice a rather significant moment: when Clara nearly dropped the plate she was holding, Bima instinctively reached out, grasping her hand to prevent the disaster. It was a swift movement, fluid and natural, revealing a closeness that felt all too familiar—a closeness that only someone intimately acquainted with another's presence would possess. Aiden found himself staring at the scene for what felt like an eternity, his smile faltering ever so slightly as the pang of sadness crept into his heart, though he made a conscious effort to mask it.
After the grand meal reached its conclusion, the vibrant event gradually began to wind down. Bima's mother excused herself to the kitchen, where she would manage the aftermath of their festive gathering. Meanwhile, Clara chose to retreat to the back garden, lighting a small aromatherapy candle that flickered gently on the table, casting a soft glow that soothed the evening air. Aiden, sensing a moment of solitude, approached her with cautious steps.
"You still like the scent of lavender, huh?" he remarked softly, allowing his curiosity to spill over.
Clara met his gaze, a faint smile adorning her lips as she nodded slowly. "I do. That scent always helps to clear my mind. Do you still find comfort in the rain?"
"Always. But this time, I wish the rain would come swiftly, to recreate the atmosphere we had back in college. Just the two of us, sharing moments unencumbered by external distractions," Aiden replied with a sense of yearning that tugged at his heart, as he attempted to evoke the cherished memories of their past.
Clara let out a light laugh, her voice airy and refreshing. "You're still as poetic as ever, Den. But honestly, I'm really glad you're back."
In that instant, Aiden locked his gaze onto Clara's eyes, allowing the weight of his words to gather between them. "Clar... during our video call yesterday, about what I mentioned—I was being serious about that."
Abruptly, Clara froze, a look of uncertainty flashing across her face. "About what...?"
"About marriage," Aiden asserted, his tone dropping to a lower, more resolute level. "I'm not just throwing this out there lightly. I've given it a great deal of thought. I don't care about the distance. If you go to the Netherlands, I'm more than willing to travel back and forth. I'm genuinely ready to be the one who waits, rather than remaining a mere spectator from afar."
At the sound of his proposal, Clara's body tensed, her eyes darting around anxiously. "Den, please don't discuss that here..."
"Why not?" Aiden pressed, moving closer, narrowing the distance between them. "I just want you to keep one thing in mind. Do you remember what you told me back then, when I was at NeurIPS? That one day, you would be honest about your feelings?"
For a fleeting moment, silence reigned, the gentle patter of raindrops beginning to serenade around them like a melancholic melody.
Aiden continued, "Now is that time, Clar. I'm right here, not just through a screen. If you're still harboring doubts, I need you to share them. But if there's even a sliver of affection for me, please—don't remain silent."
Clara, biting her lip, found herself at a loss for words, each second stretching into an eternity as she searched for the right response. "Den... you've always been such a good person, the very best, in fact. But right now, my life feels like a tangled mess. My focus is entirely on the Netherlands. I don't want to give you a promise that I might not be able to honor."
Aiden could do nothing but smile weakly at Clara's response, a hint of bitterness coloring his expression. "So, by that, you mean 'no,' right?"
Clara, looking downcast, offered a soft response. "This means I'm simply not ready. More importantly, I genuinely don't want you to wait for me, even if you say you can."
As Aiden gazed up at the sky which had just begun to drizzle, his expression became enigmatic, filled with unspoken emotion. "I'm only asking for one real chance, Clar. Just one opportunity to demonstrate that my intentions are not just whims of the moment. I'm not like Bima, who acts on impulse and makes reckless choices for the sake of fleeting passion. I'm much more calculating; I'm like an AI: I always run the probabilities, and if I say I'm ready, it indicates I've simulated all conceivable scenarios in my mind beforehand."
The moment Bima's name slipped from his lips, Clara jolted upright, her expression shifting. "Why did you bring up Bima?"
Aiden returned her gaze with a faint, reassuring smile. "Because we've known each other for far too long, Clar. And... lately, I've been sensing some strange vibes between you two. I'm not oblivious, Clara."
Clara's demeanor altered immediately, her nervousness surfacing despite her attempts to mask it. "Bima and I are just old friends, so it's only natural that we're spending time together now that you've been away in Europe for so long. I'm simply helping him think through some significant decisions. That's all it is."
Aiden fell silent for a moment, deliberating over her response. "I want to have faith in your explanation. But unfortunately, my instincts tend to be quite accurate. Just as I predicted our server would crash two years ago before it even happened."
Clara finally glanced away, the tension palpable as Aiden's earnest voice chipped away at her calm. "Den, please. Don't overanalyze everything."
Aiden leaned forward, his expression softening as a wave of concern washed over him. "Maybe I am overthinking things, Clara, but it stems from genuine care. I only want to know, before everything spirals out of control, if there's still a fragment of space for me in your universe."
Clara, feeling the depth of his emotions, found herself captivated by Aiden's earnest gaze. The rain began to fall more heavily, their hair becoming dampened as they stood still, immersing in the intensity of the moment. Under the rhythmic cadence of raindrops landing softly around them, a silence settled, far deeper than the sound of the rain itself.
"Den…" Clara finally spoke, exhaling a long, emotional breath. "You will always have a place, there is always a space for you in my life. But if that space isn't necessarily empty…"
Aiden studied her intently, his heart tightening painfully. Her words struck him like a tempest, gentle yet ominous, carrying the weight of unspoken truths and concealed dangers that threatened to engulf them.
"You mean... someone else is now occupying that space?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Clara turned her gaze downward again, her response barely audible. "I can't give you that answer right now."
Aiden let out a quiet chuckle, tinged with bitterness. "I understand. It's so typical: wrong timing, wrong person, yet this 'wrong person' isn't quite ready to let go either."
Gradually, he stood up, casting one last lingering look at Clara, a farewell written in his eyes. "Okay, Clar. I won't force you. But starting tonight, remember there's someone brave enough to voice their feelings openly instead of simply waiting for their turn."
Clara stood as well, her voice trembling slightly. "Den, I'm just scared that bringing this up will ruin the three of us. Sometimes, certain secrets aren't meant to stay hidden forever, but rather postponed until the conditions are truly safe."
Aiden held her gaze for what felt like countless moments before finally breaking it, turning away and walking off into the drizzle unprotected by an umbrella. "The thing is, Clara," he murmured quietly, his tone soft yet firm, "if your secret ever dims my trust in you, when will it truly be 'safe'?"
Left standing still, Clara watched him depart, frozen in place as the oppressive silence enveloped her completely. The rain continued to fall, bearing witness to the emotional tempest that had just unraveled between them.
***
As Aiden made his way back to his lodgings, he found himself seated in the back of the rental car, staring blankly out the rain-streaked window, lost in a swirl of his thoughts. Suddenly, the vibration of his phone jolted him from his reverie—a new message from Bima surfaced on the screen.
Bima: "Bro, thanks so much for coming earlier. Sorry we didn't manage to chat much. Can you carve out some time tomorrow for just the two of us? There's something important I need to discuss."
Aiden pondered the message, his lips pressed tightly together as he wrestled with the implications behind the request.
Aiden: "Tomorrow morning at the city park. I need to talk about something too."
The car continued its course along the rain-drenched road, the city lights mirroring fragmented secrets on the slick pavement, each glowing reflection a potentially veiled truth waiting for the right reveal.
In this expansive corner of Jakarta, three individuals—each carrying their own burdens of love, secrets, and the crossroads of decisions made—continued on their paths toward a fateful meeting that would inevitably uncover the hidden truths they had sheltered for far too long, buried in the depths of their hearts.