[That's not you!]
The system finally snapped. It just couldn't take Kaien's narcissism anymore.
"What do you mean 'not me'? That is me! Here—try calling his name. Just say 'Kaien' and see if he answers."
[...]
The system had nothing left to say. It had officially been defeated by this man's shamelessness.
Kaien pushed open his window.
Whoosh—!
In the next instant, he warped straight outside Mirajane's house.
He'd already grown familiar with teleportation ever since receiving the Fourth Hokage's Take Over card. But this was something different—this was Gojo Satoru's Cursed Technique: Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue.
His sudden movement was one of the derivative applications—by forcibly shrinking the space between himself and his destination, he achieved a form of quasi-teleportation. A technique akin to that ancient phrase: "a step of a thousand miles."
Its advantage: no technique markers or seals required.
Its disadvantage: it required direct line of sight and a few seconds to charge. It wasn't as flexible as Flying Thunder God.
From inside the house, Mirajane seemed to sense something and glanced toward the window.
But she saw… nothing.
"Huh? I could've sworn I saw Kaien."
Whoosh—!
Kaien teleported right back home.
He ended the Take Over form of Gojo Satoru.
There were still a ton of techniques he hadn't tested, but it was already late—bothering others in the middle of the night wasn't exactly polite.
Besides, that fight with the Celestial Spirit King had drained a lot of magic power. If he pushed himself further, even he'd get exhausted.
In truth, the moment Kaien had unlocked Gojo, all the memories and techniques were already downloaded into his mind.
But theory was one thing—application in real battle was another. If he wanted to test them properly, he'd need a real fight.
The next morning, Kaien entered the guild and immediately saw Cana happily chugging a full barrel of beer.
"Mirajane, bring her ten more barrels. Put it on my tab."
"Got it!"
Mirajane smiled knowingly. She could already tell from Kaien's mood—he must have drawn another busted character last night.
Cana, on the other hand, nearly choked.
"W-What are you planning?! You want my body, don't you?! Fine, take it! Take it all! Just don't hurt me!"
She looked utterly panicked.
Truth be told, she'd racked up quite a tab from Kaien recently. The fortune readings she gave him… well, they sort of worked, sometimes.
She didn't even believe half of them herself.
If Kaien ever figured out she was just bluffing most of the time, would he kill her?
She couldn't afford to pay off all this booze, so maybe… the only way left was her body. Not a bad deal, really. If she could land a long-term meal ticket out of it, she wouldn't complain.
Thunk!
"Yeowch!"
Kaien flicked her forehead hard.
"You drunk already this early in the morning?"
He was a man with a girlfriend now. He wasn't about to make a mistake on that level.
"Kaien."
Master Makarov called him over.
Kaien walked over. "What's up, Master?"
"You did well with the Loke situation. Thank you."
Of course, Makarov had already heard what happened. Loke's identity as a Celestial Spirit didn't matter. As far as the Master was concerned—anyone who joined Fairy Tail was family.
Kaien even fought the Celestial Spirit King to help a fellow member. That proved it—his judgment had been right.
"It's nothing. Loke's a guildmate. Of course I helped."
Right then, Loke walked over.
"Kaien, thank you for last night. If it weren't for you, I'd be dead."
He was deeply grateful. At his darkest hour, it was Kaien who appeared—like a divine force of salvation.
Kaien waved him off. "We're guildmates. No need for thanks. How's your body holding up?"
"Almost fully recovered. I heard from Gray that I… kind of ruined the mood between you and Mirajane last night. So, here. Take this."
He handed Kaien a voucher.
"What's this?"
"It's a resort voucher I originally planned to use with a girlfriend. But I can't stay in the human world long-term anymore. Take it as a thank-you gift. You and Mirajane can enjoy a little getaway."
Then, leaning in with a wink, he whispered: "It's a couple's suite."
Kaien flashed him a discreet thumbs-up. "Brother… saving you was totally worth it."
He looked toward Mirajane, who had clearly overheard. Her eyes sparkled with anticipation. It had been ages since she visited the beach—and going with Kaien? That made it even better.
She turned toward Makarov, who waved dismissively. "Go on, go on! Ah… daughters really do leave the nest fast."
He sighed. He wanted to go to the beach too. All those bikini-clad beauties… Retirement was starting to sound good again.
Mirajane blushed.
Suddenly—
"You two done flirting?" came a familiar voice.
It was Erza.
Kaien looked up and saw Erza, Natsu, Lucy, and Gray all geared up and ready to go.
He groaned. "Loke… just how many girlfriends did you have?!"
Akane Beach
With its soft white sands and crystal-clear waters, Akane Beach was one of the most famous vacation spots in the Kingdom of Fiore.
"THE SEA!!!"
The sun was shining, the breeze gentle, and the shore crowded with people.
Guys in shorts, girls in swimsuits…
And when Mirajane, Erza, and Lucy walked out together—
Every pair of eyes turned toward them.
Lucy was already a rare kind of beauty, but Mirajane and Erza? They were in a whole different league.
Three bombshells in swimsuits? Yeah, no one was looking anywhere else.
Mirajane spun around in front of Kaien. "S-So? What do you think?"
Kaien was practically drooling. "Stunning."
As expected of a former Sorcerer Magazine cover model, her figure was flawless.
Hearing Kaien's praise, Mirajane beamed. Every girl cared about how they looked—especially in front of someone they liked.
Soon the whole group was playing on the beach:
Watermelon splitting.
Jet-ski rides.
Beach volleyball.
Laughter and joy echoed under the sun.
Kaien hadn't felt this purely happy in a long time.
Time flew.
By the time they noticed, the sun had begun to set along the horizon.
"What a perfect day," Mirajane said softly.
Ever since her sister Lisanna's accident two years ago, she hadn't let herself relax like this.
But Kaien's arrival had changed everything.
He helped her walk out of the shadow of that grief.
Kaien's eyes softened. "Yeah… I haven't felt this happy in a long time."
Their eyes met.
Hearts pounded.
Breaths quickened.
Mirajane slowly closed her eyes.
Kaien wrapped his arm around her slender waist. His hands began to wander.
Their lips inched closer and closer.
Until—
BANG!
The door burst open.
Natsu and Happy shouted excitedly:
"Kaien! We heard there's a secret underground casino nearby! Wanna go check it out?!"
"…"