After Divination—and the grim shadow hanging over Potter's teacup—the trio made their way down from the tower, navigating the staircases that enjoyed changing direction at the worst possible moments.
Defense Against the Dark Arts awaited them.
And unlike the previous year, this class was already infamous.
Not because of danger.
But because of the professors.
Plural.
~
Two Professors, One Classroom
When Cassius stepped into the DADA classroom, the first thing he noticed was the energy.
A crackling, buzzing excitement.
Half the students whispered; the other half gawked.
Because at the front of the room stood:
Sirius Black, leaning against the desk with his arms crossed, grinning like chaos given human shape.
And Professor Lupin, composed yet warm, robes immaculate, wand tucked neatly inside his sleeve.
Two Marauders.
Two teachers.
Chaos personified and chaos refined.
Their eyes spotted Cassius immediately.
Sirius smirked.
Lupin nodded with polite approval.
Cassius meanwhile rolled his eyes.
The class only required a single teacher for the year, yet it was clear one of them had used a time turner of their own to be capable fo attending their own class along with teaching this one.
Sirius clapped his hands.
"Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts, third years! This year you'll be learning real defensive magic—not just theory as we've been told was mostly the provided knowledge in years prior."
Lupin added, "And today, we'll be starting with a practical introduction to handling fear."
Sirius gestured dramatically toward an old wardrobe that rattled ominously. "Inside this lovely piece of furniture is a boggart."
Hermione's hand shot up so fast Cassius swore he heard a pop.
Lupin chuckled.
He hadnt even gotten to the part of asking if anyone knew what a boggart was or what it looked like.
"Yes, Miss Granger?"
"A boggart," she began, "is a shape-shifting entity that takes the form of whatever the viewer fears most. It attempts to intimidate or confuse its target, feeding off the emotional reaction."
Sirius blinked at her.
"Uh. Yes. Exactly. Very good." He shot Cassius a look. 'She reminds me of Lily. Terrifyingly smart.'
Cassius saw the look on his face and knew what he was thinking, but pretended to not have seen anything.
Hermione was Hermione and Lily was Lily no Oedipus complex going on here.
Hermione, however, beamed.
Lupin continued, "The way to defeat a boggart is quite simple: laughter. You disarm it with the spell Riddikulus, forcing it to assume a humorous form rather than a frightening one."
Sirius snapped his wand up. "So! Line up!"
~
The line formed.
Nervous energy rippled down the row.
Ron was first.
The wardrobe creaked open, and out skittered—
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH—NOPE!"
—the largest Acromantula Cassius had ever seen, even bigger than Aragog crawled its way out of the wardrobe.
Half the class shrieked.
Ron flailed his wand at it.
"R- Riddikulus!"
The spider's legs curled inward as a pair of ridiculous pink roller skates materialized beneath it.
It tried to scuttle.
Failed.
Face-planted.
The class burst into laughter.
Ron fled the line, pale but alive.
Next came Hermione.
The boggart swirled, reshaping into—
"MISS GRANGER," Professor McGonagall boomed, appearing out of thin air with grim authority, "I AM MOST DISAPPOINTED. YOU HAVE FAILED—EVERY—SINGLE—EXAM."
Hermione nearly fainted.
Cassius glanced at Daphne. "Honestly? Expected."
"Of course," Daphne replied. "Like it would be anything else."
Hermione squeaked out, "R–riddikulus!"
McGonagall's stern expression melted into one of absurd, theatrical overjoy—
"OH, SPLENDID! Mrs Granger! Outstandings in all your O.W.L's what a model student."
—and then began showering Hermione in glittering gold stars like an enchanted parade float.
The class roared with laughter, more at Hermione than at the boggart but it mattered little.
Hermione fled the line, cheeks burning in shame at her deepest secrets being exposed publically, and worse her friends agreeing that they expected exactly this result.
Daphne leaned toward Cassius giving him a pat on the back.
"Your turn."
He stepped forward.
The classroom quieted.
Everyone wanted to know—
What would the boy who feared almost nothing actually fear?
Cassius stood before the wardrobe.
The boggart sensed him.
A low, wet sound spilled out.
As the creature spun and spun in place its shape constantly changing for a good 30 seconds before finally settling.
And then—
Blood.
Bodies.
Six bodies.
His girls.
Daphne. Hermione. Luna. Ginny. Astoria. Cho.
All sprawled on the classroom floor, eyes glassy and empty of life, limbs twisted, blood pooling around them in horrific, silent accusation.
Gasps erupted from the class.
Someone whimpered.
Hermione's hand flew to her mouth.
Daphne froze as if struck.
Even Sirius and Lupin took involuntary steps forward.
Cassius meanwhile did not flinch.
He had expected this outcome honestly since coming to this world for a second try he could say his greatest known fear was 'failure' and what form did failure take on?
Either the death of himself, the destruction of the world, or more recently the death of his inner circle aka the girls.
Cassius lifted his wand with perfect calm.
"Riddikulus."
The bodies jerked—
—and sprang upright.
Every student screamed.
Then stopped.
Because the six girls, once gruesomely dead, now turned in perfect unison…
…and began performing Michael Jackson's "Thriller" dance, jerky zombie moves included.
To accompany them, Cassius sprung a tiny record player from his pocket and started up the accompanying music to fit his chosen ridicule of the magical creature.
They moonwalked, performed a disturbingly accurate shoulder shimmy.
Even the blood on the floor retracted itself, forming backup dancers for the undead routine.
The entire class stared—
—and then howled with laughter.
Even Lupin was covering his mouth.
Sirius fell to the floor laughing, having been introduced more and more to the muggle world thanks to Cassius and understanding the reference unlike so many others in the class.
Cassius stepped aside, expression bored.
"Next."
~
The class carried on, at least until Harry stepped forth summoning forth a Boggart Dementor which prompted Sirius to dive in front, the boggart shifting its form into a stern elderly lady.
Cassius knew who it was of course.
Walburga Black, sirius's mother and greatest source of constant dread in his childhood and again now in his adult life.
"Seriously Sirius, when are you going to produce an heir, you're not a child anymore, get out there and sow some wheat young man, the black family line does not die with you, or so help me, i'll curse you in this life and the next"
"Riddikulus"
Sirius having been fed up with his dirty laundry being air cast the spell and his mothers mouth was zipped shut by a zipper shutting her up, and panicking greatly as she tried to unseal her mouth.