~5085 words
By the time Kiyotaka and Astrid stepped out of the bathroom, most of the steam had already escaped outside.
He picked up the white shirt he had left folded across the back of a chair and slipped his arms through the sleeves, fastening the buttons one after another before reaching for his trousers.
Behind him, Astrid stayed near the bathroom doorway, drying the ends of her hair with a towel while searching through the clothes that were scattered all over the room.
Kiyotaka adjusted his cuffs and looked at himself in the mirror. Without looking at Astrid, he began combing his hair and said: "Are you good at household chores?"
Astrid stopped for a moment. "No. Well, I can wash my clothes, if that's what you meant?"
"That wasn't what I asked."
Astrid thought about it seriously before shaking her head. "Then no."
"Cooking?" Kiyotaka turned away from the mirror and picked up his waistcoat.
"Just a little."
The response made Kiyotaka hum to himself.
The house had become noticeably quieter since Liv's death. Freya had been occupied with Daisy for most of the mornings, and expecting either of them to prepare food today would have been unreasonable.
For the past month, he and the others were, for the most part, eating food from nearby restaurants by having it delivered to his house. "Make something for lunch, then."
Astrid pulled her undergarment up her legs and then reached out for the long dress. As she pulled it up, she looked back. "For everyone?"
"Yes."
"What do they like? I mean, you can have me for lunch, what about the girls?"
Not giving in to her antics, Kiyotaka picked his hat and checked the inside. "Anything edible should be sufficient."
Astrid stared at him for a long while and then shrugged. "Fine."
"There is one other thing."
Astrid, who had begun tying her hair back, turned to look at him. "What?"
"Do not enter my room."
"At all?"
"At all."
Astrid let out a disappointed groan. "Alright."
Kiyotaka watched her for another second before slipping into his coat. His room contained several things which he had no intention of explaining, and while Astrid had proven capable of following instructions when the situation demanded it, there was little reason to create unnecessary variables.
He picked up the pair of gloves from the table and began putting them on. These were ordinary gloves and not Guilt, as he did not wish to give the slightest hints.
"How long will you be gone?" Astrid asked as she got fully dressed.
"Several hours." Then, without waiting for a response, Kiyotaka checked the time, adjusted the collar of his coat, and headed toward the door. "Don't burn anything."
"I said I could cook, you know. Have some faith." Astrid chuckled and moved to the mirror where he was standing a while ago.
"Those statements aren't mutually exclusive."
Picking up his comb, she ran it through her hair and winked at him. "I'll make something. Something special for you."
"There is no need for that." With that said, he turned around and stepped into the corridor.
*****
Kiyotaka descended the stairs while tugging at the second glove over his hand. By the time he reached the ground floor, the house had already become quiet enough that he could hear the faint ticking of the clock hanging inside the sitting room.
Freya and Daisy were waiting near the entrance as both of them were dressed entirely in black.
Freya was wearing a long mourning dress that covered her almost completely, with her hair tied neatly behind her head and a thin black ribbon running through it. There was no veil covering her face, although judging from the faint swelling beneath her eyes, Kiyotaka doubted it would have hidden much even if there had been one.
Daisy was in a simpler black dress while holding a small wicker basket with both hands. Inside the basket were several white roses along with petals that had already been removed from some of the flowers and carefully gathered at the bottom.
Seeing Kiyotaka, Daisy looked past him towards the staircase. "Is aunty not coming?"
"No. She has work to do."
Daisy appeared slightly surprised by the answer, but she did not question it. Instead, she lowered her eyes towards the basket and adjusted her grip around its handle as a sudden surge of emotions washed over her.
Freya, who was standing wordlessly, looked at Kiyotaka briefly. "The carriage is outside already."
Kiyotaka nodded in affirmation.
There was nothing more that needed to be said as they boarded the carriage.
The journey towards Lysåsen Cemetery was considerably quieter than usual. Daisy sat beside Freya throughout the ride, leaning against her arm while keeping the basket resting over her knees.
Freya had one arm around her younger sister's shoulders while the other on the basket, occasionally stopping the flowers from spilling over whenever the carriage passed over an uneven section of road.
Kiyotaka was sitting opposite to them.
Outside the window, the sprawling city remained grey underneath the winter sky. The Great Smog of Backlund had disappeared more than a month ago, but traces of what had happened were still visible in certain areas.
Some buildings were under repair while others had been abandoned entirely with their windows boarded shut and entrances blocked by wooden planks nailed to each other.
Freya spent most of the journey looking outside. A few times, however, Kiyotaka noticed her attention shifting towards him.
Around half an hour later, the carriage stopped outside Lysåsen Cemetery.
The cemetery was the same where they had buried Ada a month or so ago.
This place rested over a low hill away from the busiest streets of Backlund, surrounded by an iron fence and several rows of tall trees whose branches had long since lost their leaves. There were not many people present today.
Aside from an elderly man standing near one of the older graves and a worker carrying gardening tools further away, the pathways between the gravestones were almost completely empty.
Freya took Daisy's hand after they entered and tightly clutched it while Kiyotaka kept a respectable distance away from them.
Liv's grave was located further inside, close to one of the stone pathways, compared to Ada who was buried near the outer boundary. Kiyotaka's eyes narrowed as he saw a man hunched over Ada's grave as he placed a small bracelet made out of red roses on its tombstone.
It was a middle-aged man and was wearing a thick jacket. His grizzled gray hair was oily, and his beard was obvious as he had a sad expression on his face. Knowing who it was, Kiyotaka turned his face away and focused on the girls.
The earth around Liv's grave still looked newer than the surrounding graves, darker and softer where it had been disturbed before being pressed down again while a simple grey headstone stood at the end of it.
There was nothing particularly elaborate about the design and there were no excessive decorations nor any religious sculptures. Only her name, the dates of her birth and death, followed by several words were carved into her epitaph which read: [An honest woman, a loving mother, dearly missed]
Daisy stopped walking upon seeing the tombstone and Freya did the same. Both of them had been visiting here almost every day, but yet, every time, they would have this bizarre feeling. The feeling of emptiness, as if they did not know what to do once they were here.
After a few minutes of standing idly, Daisy released Freya's hand before slowly walking over to the grave and kneeling beside it. Setting the basket down, she picked up a handful of white petals and began spreading them across the grave.
She placed too many near the middle as the petals gathered together in a small pile rather than spreading evenly, and after staring at them for several seconds, Daisy frowned.
She immediately began separating them with her fingers, one petal at a time as dirt began to gather in her clipped nails.
Daisy moved some of the petals towards the left side of the grave, then several towards the headstone in the shape of the four stars in Evernight Goddess' sigil before sitting back and inspecting her work.
Apparently still dissatisfied, she leaned forward again and shifted another petal slightly further away.
Meanwhile, Freya kept watching her without saying anything. Eventually, when she was done, Freya walked forward and placed the bouquet she had been carrying against the base of the headstone.
Her eyes narrowed slightly as she saw a small streak of dried mud near the bottom of the tombstone. It was barely noticeable. Freya took out a folded cloth from inside her coat and began wiping it away.
The mud disappeared after the first few strokes, however, Freya continued wiping mindlessly.
Seeing her rubbing it furiously with her eyes blank, Kiyotaka moved a few steps closer, however, Daisy spoke first.
"Freya."
Her hand stopped as she looked at the clean stone and then sighed, shaking her head. "I know."
Her voice was quiet as she folded the cloth and crumpled it inside her palm.
The two girls stood there and then placed their fists on their chest before lowering their heads, praying in hushed tones. A few moments later, they raised their heads and tears began to roll down Daisy's cheeks.
Freya breathed out from her nose and hugged her from behind. "Don't cry like that... Mom never liked seeing you cry. You know that."
Daisy wiped her eyes messily and nodded while sniffing. Freya pulled her face towards herself and hugged her.
Kiyotaka watched the entire thing from a distance, leaning against a tree. It seemed like nothing had changed.
He had, hopelessly, thought that maybe this would have made him feel something. But no, there was nothing. He felt nothing— not even an iota of sadness. Yes, there was a certain feeling bubbling at the bottom of his soul, but it could hardly pass as sadness or grief.
Lowering his eyes, his mind went to other matters.
'I should probably advance now. My mental state is better and I have recovered, more or less, physically. This should be the ideal time—'
Before his train of thoughts could reach its destination, he saw Daisy's light hair flutter in front of him. Looking down he saw her with the empty basket— Well, almost empty. The wicker basket had one rose at the bottom, still attached to its stem and thorns.
"Sir." She held the basket up, towards him. "You should put one too. Mom was really thankful to you, for everything you did for us. Will you?"
Kiyotaka looked down at the rose and then at the little girl whose face was caked with tears and the residual mud which had found its way there after she arranged the petals all over the grave.
"Of course." Kiyotaka reached into the basket and picked it up. The stem was riddled with small and large thorns as several smaller ones stabbed his thumb and index finger.
To him, it was okay to let the thorns stab him and draw blood as it would at least create the impression that he was grieving deeply enough not to notice the thorns drawing blood, however, his enhanced physique did not even allow that.
Putting his hand on her head and fixing it there, Kiyotaka motioned towards the grave.
Daisy smiled slightly and began walking with his hand on her head as he followed her. Once they were there, Kiyotaka placed the red rose beside Freya's bouquet, but then picked it up and placed it on the top of her tombstone before placing a small pebble on its stem.
"Is this alright?"
Daisy nodded while sniffing. "Yes."
When he looked from the corner of his eyes, he saw Freya staring intently at him. There was something behind the way she was looking at him now, something that had been present several times throughout the morning but had become more prominent after they arrived here.
Kiyotaka turned his attention back towards the grave.
After that, they remained at Lysåsen Cemetery for almost another twenty minutes.
Daisy spoke very little after that. Most of the time, she remained seated beside the grave while occasionally moving one of the petals whenever the wind disturbed them and Freya stood close to her, one hand resting over Daisy's shoulder, although every now and then her thumb moved slowly across the black fabric of her dress, reassuring herself that her younger sister was still there.
Eventually, as the afternoon began transitioning into evening and cold wind began to blow, Daisy rubbed her hands together.
Freya took out woolen gloves from inside her wide sleeves and gave them to Daisy before patting her shoulder. "We should go."
Daisy looked reluctant, but after looking at the grave one last time, she stood up and took the gloves from Freya's hands.
Freya picked up the empty basket and brushed some dirt from the front of Daisy's dress and turned around. As Daisy walked ahead, Freya turned around and waved her head, choking back a sob.
She did not talk and walked past Kiyotaka, towards the carriage. Watching the two disappear, hand-in-hand, he saw the same old man approach the grave and sigh upon seeing the name.
"Good woman she was." The man said, shaking his head. "Thanks for giving her a proper burial, Mr. Holmes." He tipped his hat.
Kiyotaka nodded his head and turned to leave as well.
Soon, the three of them were back inside the carriage, heading straight for Sørlund Street.
*****
By the time the carriage stopped outside the house on Sørlund Street, the sky had already grown considerably darker.
Kiyotaka stepped down first and waited for Freya and Daisy before heading towards the entrance. The moment he opened the door, however, a rather strong smell of cooked meat, onions and spices immediately assaulted his nose.
It seemed Astrid had actually managed to follow his instructions without burning the house down.
Daisy seemed to have noticed it as well as her previously downcast expression changed slightly as she sniffed the air and looked towards the dining room. "Something smells good."
"Of course it does."
Astrid's voice came from further inside who had heard her whisper, even at this distance.
When they entered the dining room, Kiyotaka saw her standing beside the table with both hands planted proudly over her waist. She was wearing a gown that left her shoulders exposed while several layers of dark lace ran across its neckline and sleeves.
The lower half of her dress was considerably heavier, with gathered fabric falling around her legs and several small metallic ornaments hanging near the waist.
Her long hair had been left loose, falling almost all the way down her back. Considering she had apparently spent the last few hours cooking, she looked unnecessarily well dressed.
Astrid noticed his eyes moving over her. "Like what you see?"
Kiyotaka ignored the question and looked towards the table instead.
A large pot had been placed at the centre alongside several bowls, dark bread and what appeared to be roasted vegetables. The contents inside the pot consisted mostly of beef, potatoes and onions cooked into a thick stew.
Astrid's lips curled upwards as she huffed. "I told you I could cook."
"I said something edible."
"Your faith in me is truly riveting."
Daisy let out a faint laugh as she pulled one of the chairs back. It was the first proper sound resembling amusement that she had made since leaving the cemetery, and Astrid seemed to notice it because she did not respond to Kiyotaka with another remark.
Freya, however, remained quiet and kept glaring at the promiscuous looking woman who seemed to have no decorum.
She removed her coat and helped Daisy with hers before taking a seat beside her. Kiyotaka sat opposite them while Astrid began filling the bowls, giving Daisy considerably more potatoes than meat after the younger girl asked for them.
When she reached Kiyotaka, Astrid leaned closer while pouring the stew. "I am going to give you some extra meat."
"No need."
"You look half-dead and I am not nearly as satisfied." Her smile widened before she moved away, not wanting the other girls hearing her.
Kiyotaka picked up the spoon and tasted it and surprisingly, it was considerably better than he had expected. Astrid immediately noticed that he had not complained.
"Well?"
"It's edible."
Astrid's brows rose slightly. "That almost sounded like praise."
"Take it as you wish."
After that, they ate mostly in silence.
Daisy finished more than half of her bowl despite claiming she was not hungry on the way back, while Astrid occasionally pushed the bread towards her whenever she noticed she had stopped eating.
Freya, however, barely touched anything. She stirred the stew several times, took a few small mouthfuls and then simply left the spoon resting against the side of the bowl.
Kiyotaka noticed, although he did not bring attention to it. At least not immediately.
Her behaviour throughout the day had already been unusual enough. She had looked towards him repeatedly during the carriage ride to the cemetery, then again while they stood near Liv's grave, and even now her attention occasionally shifted in his direction before returning to her food.
This could only mean one thing and that being that there was clearly something on her mind. Daisy eventually leaned against the back of her chair and rubbed both eyes with the heel of her palms.
Freya immediately turned towards her. "Tired?"
"A little."
"Of course, you barely slept."
"I slept!"
Freya gave her a reprimanding look, causing her to look down.
"Have you done your homework?"
"Yes!"
"Then go upstairs and sleep."
"But it's still light outside..."
Freya breathed through her nose and her eyes hardened. Pouting, Daisy crossed her arms. "Ok."
"Don't scold the little girl so much."
Freya turned towards her, her long eyes fixing on her. "And you don't tell me how to raise my sister."
Astrid didn't seem to mind and instead swirled her spoon inside her bowl before raising both hands. "Ok, ok. As you wish."
Kiyotaka glanced at the two and kept his head low, busying himself in his food.
Daisy stood from her chair, but before leaving she walked behind Freya and wrapped both arms around her shoulders, despite having been scolded just now. Freya paused for a moment before placing one hand over Daisy's arms and holding them there.
After several seconds, Daisy released her and waved goodbye to Astrid before heading upstairs.
Astrid began carrying the used bowls towards the kitchen, leaving Freya and Kiyotaka sitting at the table. Kiyotaka had already begun considering whether to return to his study when she finally pushed the bowl away from herself and stood.
For a moment, it seemed like she was about to say something. But instead, Freya looked towards the kitchen, then towards the staircase where Daisy had disappeared before leaving the dining room without explanation.
Kiyotaka remained seated where he was.
He was thinking about concocting his potion when Freya suddenly returned while carrying a small bottle and a glass.
The bottle had some kind of pungent alcohol inside it. Freya sat down again and poured herself only a small amount, although she did not drink it immediately.
She kept both hands around the glass while staring at the liquid inside, occasionally moving her thumb along its rim. After some time, Freya raised the glass and took a small sip.
As soon as she did, her expressions tightened slightly.
"You don't drink often," Kiyotaka said.
"No... I don't."
"Then you don't need to force yourself."
"I know."
She took another sip anyway, causing Kiyotaka's mind to work. A lot of possibilities were skimmed and his thoughts came to a thought.
Several minutes passed before Freya finally looked up. "Can I talk to you? Alone?"
He looked briefly towards the kitchen before returning his attention to her.
"Sure."
Kiyotaka stood from his chair while Freya remained seated for another moment before finishing what little remained inside the glass. She winced slightly and placed it down before following him out of the dining room.
Astrid looked over from the kitchen when they passed. Her eyes moved from Freya to Kiyotaka, as she shook her head. "Miserable girl." She said before tossing the dishes in the sink and leaving them as they were.
Freya entered the study first and stopped near the desk, seemingly unsure whether she wanted to sit or remain standing. Kiyotaka closed the door behind them, locking it and walked past her, taking his usual seat before gesturing towards the chair opposite him.
For several seconds, neither of them spoke.
Freya kept her hands together over her lap, rubbing the side of one thumb with the other while staring somewhere near the edge of his desk. Whatever courage the alcohol had given her appeared to have diminished considerably now that they were alone.
Kiyotaka did not interrupt her and waited for her to organize her thoughts.
Eventually, she breathed in through her nose. "I wanted to ask you something about that day." Her fingers stopped moving for a moment before starting again. "Before everything happened, you were acting strange."
Kiyotaka remained silent.
"You sent people away. You had those men ready, the ones from Zmanger, and you knew which routes everyone should take." She raised her eyes towards him for the first time. "Even before we understood what was happening, you already seemed like you were expecting something."
There was no accusation in her voice. Yet.
If anything, she sounded as though she was trying to convince herself that each individual thing could still have an explanation.
Kiyotaka leaned back slightly. "I knew there was a possibility that something would happen in Backlund."
Freya's expression changed. "What?"
"I had received information suggesting that the city might become dangerous. I didn't know when exactly, nor did I know the scale of it."
That part of the answer came easily enough because it contained enough truth to survive further questioning.
"Then let me ask you this, Sir." She tried her best, but there was an undeniable tremble in her voice. "Did you know?"
Kiyotaka's eyes remained fixed on her as Freya looked away and swallowed. "Did you know?"
He had expected the question since the cemetery, although hearing her say it directly caused that same indistinct feeling from earlier to stir somewhere inside him. "No."
Freya's eyes immediately returned to his face and Kiyotaka, as if to make his point clear, did not avert his gaze. "I didn't know Liv would die."
She continued staring at him without speaking. The silence stretched long enough that Kiyotaka could hear the ticking of the clock on the other side of the room.
Finally, Freya asked, "Did you really not know?"
Kiyotaka understood what she was asking beneath the words. She wanted nothing but a reiteration of the same words while directly looking into her eyes.
"No." And he did exactly what the deepest part of her heart desired.
Freya lowered her eyes. Her shoulders relaxed slightly, but not enough for Kiyotaka to believe the answer had completely satisfied her.
"I've been thinking about it for weeks," she said. "At first I didn't. There was too much happening and Daisy..." Her hands tightened over her dress. "But afterwards, I started remembering things. You made us leave and you were prepared and you didn't seem surprised when everything happened and you said you needed me there and just sent mom..."
"I was surprised by the scale of it."
Freya gave a small nod, although her expression remained conflicted. "And mother?"
"I had no information suggesting Liv was specifically in danger. Even the people I had stationed around the house for her died."
Kiyotaka carefully chose his words and stared at her for several moments without blinking before adding, "If I had known she was going to die, I would not have allowed her to remain there."
It was the most convincing answer available to him because it matched the version of himself Freya already knew. Perhaps that was why it affected her more than the earlier denial and her lips pressed together as she looked down at her hands. "I know."
Freya breathed out and rubbed at one of her eyes before any tears could properly form. "That's what I kept telling myself. That if you knew, you would've done something. You always do something."
There was no response he could give to that without either lying further or creating another question. So he maintained what he did best... remain silent.
Freya gave a weak laugh after a while, though there was little amusement behind it. "I sound horrible, don't I? After all you did for me—us, and here I am, thinking these things."
"You don't."
"I do... I am sorry, but I was simmering in doubt and somewhat hatred, wondering if you knew my mother was going to die and just..." She stopped before finishing the thought and shook her head. "She trusted you, that is all."
"So did you."
"I still do." Freya looked at him and pursed her lips. The answer came out without hesitation. After a few seconds, she added, "I just needed to ask. For myself..."
"I understand."
Freya sat there for a while longer before placing both hands on the armrests as though preparing to stand. However, before she could do so, Kiyotaka stood up and said: "Wait."
As he stood and walked towards the safe built into the cabinet beside the wall, Freya watched him intently. She averted her eyes when she saw him enter the combination and then turned her head again, trying to see what he was taking out.
Several objects were stored inside as he reached towards the lower section and removed a small wooden case before closing the safe again. When he returned to the desk, he placed the case in front of Freya.
She looked at it and then at him. "Should I...?"
"Yes."
Freya pulled the case closer and lifted the lid as her expression changed almost immediately.
Inside were several carefully separated ingredients, each stored within its own container.
They contained a translucent marrow-like crystal inside a small glass vessel beside the preserved Fruit of the King Sword Flower, while the supplementary ingredients had been measured and stored separately.
Freya recognized at least some of them as her fingers moved towards the marrow crystal before stopping just short of touching the glass. "Is this..."
"Everything you need is in there."
Freya stared at the contents of the case. She looked through the ingredients again before slowly closing the lid. "Why are you giving it to me now?"
"Your Apothecary potion has already digested sufficiently. There is little reason to delay your advancement."
"That's all?"
"This has nothing to do with the question you just asked." Kiyotaka had understood immediately what she meant.
Freya looked down at the case again and smiled, half-sheepishly, half-suspiciously. "It feels a little like it does."
"I acquired most of these ingredients before the incident. It was supposed to be your birthday gift." Freya suddenly looked up as he she saw him standing near her. He placed his hand on her head and gently patted her hair. "I would wish you a belated happy birthday but circumstances refrain me from doing so."
"How did you know...? I mean... I don't know on what date I was born..."
"You look like a December girl." Kiyotaka returned to his chair as Freya kept staring at him. However, when eventually he did face her, she lowered her head. "If you want me present during the advancement, tell me beforehand."
"You'd stay?"
"Yes."
She looked at the case once again and seemed to consider the offer seriously before shaking her head. "I think I'll be alright."
Kiyotaka did not attempt to persuade her as Freya continued, "I think by now I know what I'm supposed to do. Besides..." She gave him a slightly embarrassed look. "I think I'd be more nervous if you were standing there watching me."
Freya let out a quiet laugh and this time, it sounded more natural. She picked up the wooden case with both hands and stood from the chair. "Thank you, Sir, truly... And I am sorry."
Kiyotaka simply nodded. Freya turned towards the door but had only taken a few steps when he stood as well.
As she was about to leave, Kiyotaka raised his voice. "Stay safe."
The expression on Freya's face changed. Something about those two words appeared to affect her considerably more than he had intended and the guard that seemed risen for the past few days suddenly dropped. She lowered her head in a bow, smiling and tightened her hold around the wooden case. "I will."
Freya kept her hand on the handle for a few seconds. Just before opening it, however, she stopped. "Sir."
"Hm?"
She looked back at him. "I believe you."
Kiyotaka did not respond as Freya gave him a small smile and stepped outside, closing the door behind her.
Only after the sound of her footsteps disappeared down the corridor did he turn towards the safe again. Only when he confirmed that no one was nearby, he went back to the safe and confirmed the presence of all of his Mystical Items.
His eyes landed on an old silver pocket watch with a pitch-black face and no hands. Eight faint circular markings were engraved around the edges of its face. Occasionally, something resembling a translucent worm crawled underneath the glass before disappearing.
Around this watch were Gloom, Cyst and Rime, neatly arranged in a triangle while mystical engravings were etched into the box underneath each of them. Occasionally, one of the Mystical Items would disappear and reappear somewhere else inside the box.
Pulsating inside this clock was a small dot of light that was pulsing in the color of Twilight. Kiyotaka spared this Mystical Item — Hubris — one last glance before taking out materials of his own.
He took out a clean flask and added the Baron of Corruption Beyonder Characteristic to it — which he had obtained after Astrid and Kiyotaka hunted down William Sikes — before adding 60ml of human-faced baboon blood, 10 drops of gray amber perfume, 60 ml of strong fruit liquor and 10 g of lead powder.
As he allowed the potion to concoct, it appeared as a translucent, light black liquid with a sweet, enticing aroma and shimmering, sparkling light. Which was quite strange given how its Beyonder Characteristic smelled foul and looked like a human nose.
'The devolution of order into disorder... I suppose it makes sense.'
Kiyotaka placed the flask to his lips and then drank it all in one go as the flesh over his entire body and his mind began to bubble.
*****
Author's Note: I know a lot of you will miss the detail/symbolism, but the white petals from Daisy all over the grave is suppose to symbolize purity and uncomplicated love, while the red flower full of thorns on the headstone is supposed to symbolize Kiyotaka coming to the terms that he willingly took her blood on his hands.
Also, Astrid's illustration is updated in the Illustrations chapter but I am putting it here too. It's right after the bathroom scene.
That's it from me. Tschüß