**One Kick Girl — Chapter 138:
"When the Universe Asks Nicely"**
Comedy–cosmic aftermath • Raon & Shion POV
1. The Apology Begins (Awkwardly)
The universe cleared its throat.
Not metaphorically.
Literally.
Stars flickered like someone tapping a microphone that did not exist.
Planets subtly adjusted their orbits the way people straighten chairs when an authority figure walks in.
Raon noticed.
"…Is space nervous?"
Shion slowly stood, brushing nonexistent dust off her knees.
"…Raon. The universe is not nervous."
She paused.
"…It is being polite."
Raon squinted upward.
"Oh. That's new."
2. A Formal Request From Reality Itself
Words appeared in the sky.
Not burning. Not glowing.
Just… legible.
REQUEST FOR COOPERATION
Issued by: Reality
Priority: Extremely High
Tone: Respectful (Adjusted)
Raon blinked.
"…It's formatted."
Shion read quickly, eyes darting.
"It's… a petition."
Raon tilted her head.
"Like a complaint form?"
Shion swallowed.
"No. Like a negotiation."
3. The Universe Explains Itself (Briefly, Nervously)
The stars rearranged into sentences.
"PREVIOUS STRATEGIES INCLUDED:
– FORCE
– CONSTRAINT
– PAYWALLS
– TERMS & CONDITIONS
– FINAL ABSTRACT CONCEPT"
"ALL FAILED."
Raon nodded.
"Yeah."
"NEW STRATEGY:
ASK NICELY."
Shion stared.
"…It learned."
Raon smiled.
"…Good for it."
4. The Request
The message continued.
"ONE KICK GIRL
YOUR EXISTENCE INTRODUCES
UNBOUNDED DECISION."
"THIS CAUSES
SYSTEM INSTABILITY."
"REQUEST:
PLEASE
CONSIDER
NOT KICKING
EVERYTHING."
Silence.
Raon looked at Shion.
Shion looked at Raon.
Raon scratched her cheek.
"…That's a big ask."
5. Shion Tries to Negotiate Like a Normal Person
Shion stepped forward instinctively, hands raised.
"Okay. Hi. Reality. We appreciate the—uh—tone shift."
The stars pulsed politely.
Shion continued.
"Raon doesn't want to destabilize existence. She just reacts to threats."
Raon nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah! I'm very reactive."
The universe hesitated.
"DEFINE
'THREAT.'"
Raon pointed vaguely.
"Anything that feels annoying."
Shion winced.
"…We can work with that."
6. The Compromise Attempt
New text appeared.
"PROPOSAL:
REDUCE EXISTENTIAL INTERFERENCE
BY 17%."
Raon frowned.
"…That's oddly specific."
Shion read the fine print.
"…It's the maximum survivable margin."
Raon considered.
"…What do I get?"
The universe froze.
It had not anticipated this.
7. The Universe Scrambles
Stars jittered.
Nebulae flickered like lagging UI elements.
"COMPENSATION OPTIONS LOADING…"
A list appeared:
Priority Physics (Objects behave correctly around you)
Reduced Collateral Probability
Snack Manifestation (Limited)
Narrative Foreshadowing Warnings
One (1) Free Undo Per Arc
Raon's eyes sparkled.
"…Snacks?"
Shion immediately intervened.
"WAIT. READ EVERYTHING."
Raon pouted.
"…Fine."
8. The Catch (There Is Always One)
Shion scanned deeper.
"…Raon. The undo only applies if you feel regret."
Raon blinked.
"…I feel regret sometimes."
Shion stared.
"…Do you?"
Raon thought hard.
"…I regret not kicking the Cookie Devil sooner."
Shion sighed.
"…Close enough."
9. The Final Term
The universe added one last line.
"ADDITIONAL CONDITION:
IF YOU KICK
THE CORE STRUCTURE
OF REALITY AGAIN…"
The stars dimmed.
"WE WILL
ASK NICER."
Raon laughed.
"Okay, that's adorable."
10. Raon's Decision
Raon stepped forward.
The universe held its breath.
She raised her foot—
Shion tensed—
—and then Raon gently set it back down.
"…I'll try."
Reality relaxed.
Shion exhaled shakily.
"…You just saved existence."
Raon smiled.
"Yeah."
She cracked her knuckles.
"But no promises forever."
11. Aftermath: A Universe on Probation
Space stabilized.
Physics resumed with a noticeable amount of caution.
Shion rubbed her temples.
"…Do you realize what you've done?"
Raon shrugged.
"I made the universe say please."
Shion laughed despite herself.
"…You're impossible."
Raon grinned.
"And yet."
12. Stinger: Something Notices
Far beyond the polite layer of reality—
Something ancient stirred.
Not bound by physics.
Not impressed by negotiations.
A presence that did not ask.
A single line appeared, unnoticed by the universe.
"OBSERVATION COMPLETE."
Raon suddenly paused mid-step.
"…Shion."
"Yes?"
"…I think something just looked at me."
Shion's smile faded.
"…Did it ask nicely?"
Raon shook her head.
"…No."
She grinned wider.
"…Good."
END OF CHAPTER 138