Chapter 54: The Favourite Godson
"WHAT?"
Harry jumped and sat up in his bed, his curtains swinging open so he could glare at Ron. "Keep it down, Ronald, I'm trying to sleep!" He snapped.
"A bit rich coming from you, Harry. Weren't you keeping us all awake just two nights ago when you were complaining about no-one playing tag with you?" Seamus retorted, smirking. Neville and Dean laughed at the indignant expression on Harry's face. It was a common occurrence for Harry to keep them awake long into the night.
"Not tag, Seamus." Harry rolled his eyes. "Death-tag! There's a difference, you know."
"Sure." Dean said. "Because death-tag sounds completely normal and totally not dangerous compared to normal tag."
"It is dangerous, that's the point!" Harry argued. "It makes it more fun!"
"Harry Potter, everyone!" Dean announced sarcastically. "The Boy-Who-Lived-Despite-Doing-His-Very-Best-To-Die!"
Neville laughed at Harry's offended expression. Ron was still staring at the letter in his hand with disbelief.
"But-but- wait, does Sirius know?" Ron asked Harry, giving him a quizzical look.
"Know what?" Harry asked, interest finally piqued. "What are you talking about?"
"Charlie sent me a letter." Ron said slowly. "It had two pictures in it. One of his wedding-"
"He's married?" Neville asked in surprise, sleep forgotten. "Since when?"
"A year ago is what he's put here." Ron frowned at the letter. "Mum is going to go ballistic, apparently he eloped. You'll never guess who with!"
"Tonks." Harry said confidently. Ron scowled at him. "Sorry! But breaking into Order meetings meant I had to watch them giving each other doe-eyes across the table. It was gross!" Harry mimed gagging.
Ron just snorted. "I do not envy you at all. But anyway, look at this!" He handed Harry a small picture. The other three Gryffindor boys got out of bed to look over Harry's shoulder.
"THEY HAD A KID?"
"KEEP IT DOWN!" Someone, who sounded suspiciously like Ginny, yelled from the floor below. Harry, Neville and Dean dissolved into giggles.
"They had a kid!" Harry said faintly, looking at the small, blue-haired baby. "A metamorphmagus kid as well! Oh, that kid is going to give them trouble!"
"Sirius is the godfather." Ron said with a smirk. "They're coming to the castle tomorrow."
"What?" Harry croaked. "But.. but.. but Sirius is MY godfather! I don't care if Tonks is his cousin, she can't steal my godfather for her baby!"
"You can be the godfather to more than one child, Harry." Seamus said consolingly. Neville, however, smirked.
"You'll have to get used to being second favourite, Harry." He said seriously. Ron caught on and stifled a laugh. "Everyone loves babies far more than teenagers, you know."
Harry gave them all a betrayed look. "But I saved the Wizarding World from Voldemort! I'm Sirius' best friend's son! I have to be his favourite!"
"Yeah, but Teddy has tiny little fingers and toes!" Ron wiggled his fingers with a gleeful smirk. Harry scowled.
"I- ugh! I hate you all." He grouched, and Neville and Ron burst out laughing. Dean and Seamus watched the three boys with amusement, far too used to their antics now to be fazed.
"HE WHAT?" The Gryffindor boys shared a look at the screech from the floor below. Ginny had clearly just received her own letter.
"KEEP IT DOWN!" Harry shouted back, not one to pass up on the opportunity for payback.
"SHUT IT, BOTH OF YOU!" Hermione yelled.
"BUT CHARLIE HAD A KID, HERMIONE! AND HE'S MARRIED!" Ginny argued back.
"HE DID WHAT?" Harry and Ron stifled laughter when they heard a loud bang from a few floors below.
"IT'S ONE IN THE MORNING, EVERYBODY BE QUIET!" The usually mild-mannered and cheerful Dennis Creevey screeched.
There was twenty seconds of silence, and then the entirety of Gryffindor house's laughter echoed through the tower.
The next morning, Harry and his friends headed straight for the Hospital wing. Charlie and Tonks were waiting for them, looking exhausted but happy. Charlie was holding a small bundle of blankets proudly.
"Let's see!" Ginny demanded, using Harry's shoulder to lean over to try and get a better look at her first nephew. Harry shook her off and she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Not my fault you're short!" Harry taunted, earning himself a wallop on the back of his head. "Ow!"
"Shut up, you'll wake him!" Hermione scolded, craning her own neck to try and get a look at the child.
"This is Teddy Tonks-Weasley." Tonks said proudly, snatching the bundle from Charlie and handing it to Ron.
"I'm an uncle!" Ron said tearfully, rocking the sleeping child slowly. Charlie grinned and ruffled his hair.
"I'm an aunt, and I want a turn now. Gimme!" Ginny said impatiently, arms outstretched. Ron handed the baby over, rolling his eyes as Ginny softened immediately.
Harry watched them wistfully, smiling as Ginny cooed at the green-haired boy snuggled in a fluffy blue blanket. Neville nudged him gently and Harry grinned at his friend. Hermione gave him a side hug and then went to coo over the baby with Ginny.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to grin at Charlie. "Congratulations on being a dad!" He exclaimed quietly. Charlie chuckled.
"Congratulations on being an uncle." Harry gaped at him. "Harry, you've been an honorary Weasley for years, since the day my mum met you. You are just as much of an uncle to this little guy as Ron is."
Harry definitely didn't cry, it was just hay-fever. Ginny gave him a watery smile and handed him the baby, giving him a one-armed hug.
"You're my second favourite brother." She whispered. Everyone knew Bill was Ginny's favourite. Even Charlie being the one to make her an aunt couldn't displace Bill from top spot.
Harry ruffled her hair with one hand and rocked the baby with the other. He looked very peaceful, making a few cute baby noises in his sleep. Dean and Seamus, who had been dragged along for the ride, watched them all with a smile. It was amazing, really, how much they'd all grown in seven years.
"There's my godson!" Harry turned to grin at Sirius, but was ignored. He felt the baby being lifted from his grasp and watched as Sirius walked off with the child, Tonks laughing at her favourite cousin's antics.
"He didn't even pluralise the godson!" Hermione snickered. Harry scowled.
"Remus, want a new godchild?" Harry asked the bemused man. Remus grinned at him.
"If you mean yourself, then absolutely not. I'll be grey-haired in no time!"
Harry pouted. He pouted a lot these days.
"I knew it!" Remus winced and Amelia smirked at the look on Harry's face. Without letting go of each other's hands, they turned to face Harry. "I told you, didn't I Draco? I told you there was a reason the map showed them together so much!" Harry jabbed him in the arm several times with a victorious finger. Draco shoved him off.
"Yes, you did, three thousand times." He said grumpily. The poor blonde was sick of relationship talk. "Can we go now?" He sent a desperate look Remus and Amelia's way. Remus mouthed and apology and Amelia grinned in amusement.
"I sort of thought it would be Snape and Amelia who ended up together." Harry looked slightly disappointed but then smiled widely. "Nah, this actually makes quite a bit of sense! Maybe the awful matchmaking spell that put Sinistra and Snape together was right after all. Actually, no, both of them like being single far too much. What is it with everyone in this castle being so against relationships? I'm almost at the end of my list."
"Good, so let's leave." Draco whined. "I want to go to bed now please."
"No, no time for sleeping!" Harry grinned brightly. "Now, next on the list is... Percy and Penelope." Harry said, pulling two pieces of parchment from his pocket. "Which will be difficult considering neither of them live here at the castle with us. We'll have to move onto the next couple. Cedric and Daphne? No, same problem, Cedric can't get in the castle. Ooo, what about Narcissa and Lockhart?"
Draco blanched and Harry cackled. "Kidding! Neville and Hannah are already together, so I can cross them off. Oh, how about Ginny and Dean?"
"What are you up to now, Harry?" Remus asked tiredly. Amelia just grinned at Harry, already having an inkling what the boy was doing from the gossip page Ginny and Kreacher ran in the student-version of the Quibbler: The Quabbler. Harry had no idea most of the Hogwarts staff and Amelia's ministry department were all subscribed.
"Since Charlie and Tonks eloped, me and Draco have been making sure it doesn't happen again using the marauders map!" Harry smiled innocently at the two adults.
"Unwillingly, on my part." Draco added. "Harry, can't you get Susan or Daphne to help instead? I'm tired!" He resisted the urge to stamp his foot. Only because if he did Harry would tell his mother and he would never hear the end of it.
"No, I promised Daphne I would use you. She gave me a whole box of Minnie's biscuits for it! She's also one of my targets." Harry said, noting something down on one piece of parchment before studying the other. "Ginny and Dean next then?"
"Harry, Weaslette doesn't want a relationship." Draco said. Harry stopped short.
"What? Really?"
"In Ginevra's words 'I am an independent woman and I like it that way, Malfoy, so don't get ideas from my relentless pursuits that are purely for my own enjoyment in embarrassing you."
Remus stifled a chuckle.
"So no Ginny and Dean, then. I can't believe that's another person I can't set up! To be fair, Ginny's always a been a bit of an anti-romance girl."
"I'm an anti-romance boy, so let me leave!" Draco begged. Amelia's eyes danced with unshed laughter.
"No." Harry faked a gasp. "Oh look, Cedric just appeared in the Headmistress' office! What a funny coincidence!"
Draco rolled his eyes. "Potter, I do not care. I just want to go to bed."
"Tough bananas, we're going to see Minnie and Cedric. Bye Moony, Amelia!"
"I'm going to kill Daphne." Draco said, allowing Harry to pull him away. "I swear it."
Chapter 55: Master Of Death? Sorry, Death Is Who?
Second Day Of Term
"Gandalf? You're still here?" Harry asked in surprise as he and his friends walked up to the library. They might have only been back for one night, but Hermione and Draco were already NEWTs stressed.
"Yes, Harry! Hello!" Dumbledore greeted him cheerfully, waving his mop in greeting. "Filch decided to retire, so Minerva kindly allowed me to work here as a caretaker."
"Without supervision?" Daphne added incredulously. "Susan's aunt won't like that."
Dumbledore laughed. "Alas, I'm being closely watched by house elves. I do understand why, now I've begun to see the error of my ways. I am so sorry, Harry, for hurting you as much as I did." He said, sounding truly remorseful.
Harry, who had no idea what to do with people apologising to him due to trauma, just nodded awkwardly.
"Bye!" He exclaimed, and pulled Hermione along with him as he scarpered.
"Coward!" Ron shouted after him. Harry shouted something unintelligible back.
Daphne turned to Draco and then Dumbledore, with a scheming smirk.
"Hey Dray, how annoyed do you think Harry would be if we got what he wanted first?" Daphne asked, a familiar glint in her eye.
Draco groaned. "I'm not partaking in any thievery." Dumbledore raised a brow at the students, confused.
Daphne scowled. "Killjoy. Bye Gandalf!"
Dumbledore chuckled. Now he knew who Gandalf was, the nickname made much more sense.
Normal Time
"Hey Gandalf!"
Dumbledore looked up.
"Catch the baby!" Harry launched a small child into the air and Dumbledore reacted instinctively. He reached out to catch the child and dropped his wand in the process. Harry's friends were staring at him, horrified.
"TEDDY!" Ginny and Ron exclaimed in horror.
They all frowned in shocked confusion when Tonks entered the same corridor, Teddy safe in her arms.
"HA!" Harry grabbed the wand from the floor. Dumbledore looked down at the baby doll in his arms, and sighed. Harry, elated, began to sing.
"I got the elder wand! I'm the Master of Death!" He sped off and his friends followed, leaving Dumbledore wandless and alone.
"Well, I did always want to be a muggle as a child." Dumbledore said to himself, picking up his mop.
Daphne and Draco watched Harry dance victoriously around the Room of Requirement.
"I thought he didn't want to be the Master of Death?" Draco said quietly. Daphne snorted.
"He doesn't. He's just glad he got to one-up Dumbles again."
Harry stared at the hooded figure dressed in black.
"Chaos Bringer." It said in greeting. Harry gasped.
"No way!" He exclaimed, just as Aurora Sinistra pulled down her mysterious hood. "Queen of the Night Time, it was you all along!"
"The one plot twist you never saw coming!" Death/Aurora cackled.
"So you've been watching this whole time and done absolutely nothing to help me defeat Voldemort?" Harry asked, slightly hurt. "You could've collected his soul and saved me seven years of trouble!"
"It isn't that simple, Chaos bringer." Death/Aurora said sagely. "Fate would have thrown a hissy fit if I had intervened. Especially if I didn't let her prophecy come to full fruition. Besides, you put on a marvellous show!"
Harry gaped at her. "Fate's prophecy? Surely you don't mean-"
"Sybil Trelawney. SPT. Also known as Sybil Predestination Trelawney. Predestination meaning Fate, of course."
"I actually can't believe this!" Harry shook his head. "First you, then Trelawney. Next you'll tell me Grubbly-Plank is secretly Time!"
"Um."
"No! You're just messing with me now." Harry ran a hand through his hair, completely shocked.
"Relax, I'm just pulling your leg. Grubbly-Plank is most definitely not Time."
"Phew!" Harry exclaimed, then looked disappointed. "I was going to set you up with Sirius, you were on my list!"
"I thought you were gunning for me and Snape?" Death/Aurora asked curiously.
"Sort of? But to be honest with you, Snape doesn't seem the sort for relationships." Harry admitted. "I think he's still a little bit in love with my mum as well, even if he has accepted it was never going to happen. Besides, you have an insane streak that matches Sirius quite nicely."
"Sorry Chaos Bringer, I don't date humans. Or anything, for that matter."
"Worth a shot." Harry shrugged. "So what happens now?"
"Now I put my hood back up and you pretend you never knew me as Aurora Sinistra. I quite like my fake life here, so I'd rather my little secret stayed that way so I can continue to watch your reign of terror in peace." Death/Aurora gave Harry a half stern, half hopeful look.
"Okay then!" Harry agreed easily. "From the top?"
"From the top." Death/Aurora shook Harry's proffered hand, then put up her/it's(?) hood.
"...So, you're Death?" Death nodded. "Fun! Have you ever tried to collect a soul and just been told no?" Harry asked curiously.
Death huffed. "I've tried to collect the soul the current Headmistress of Hogwarts seven times so far." They said crossly.
"Really?" Harry tilted his head. "Actually it makes sense, Minnie is rather stubborn."
"Yes." Death gritted their teeth. "She currently holds the record. Worse than Merlin, she is."
"Wow. Not Gandalf then?"
"You've never even met Ganda- oh, you mean the Ex-Headmaster. No, I haven't tried to collect his soul yet. The man blathers on for so long I've been procrastinating slightly." Death admitted, looking as sheepish as an omen can look.
"But Minnie is so much younger than Gandalf! Why have you tried to collect her soul first?" Harry asked indignantly. It hardly seemed fair.
Death held their hands up. "Hey, I've never truly tried to collect your precious Headmistress' soul. Only once, when she got hit with all those stunners, did I actually try. The times before I had just heard amazing things through the grapevine about her shortbread biscuits!" Death looked a bit guilty.
Harry nodded. "They are pretty good. I think Ginny and Luna wrote an article on them for the Quabbler. And you said she holds the record? And it's seven?"
"Indeed."
"Excellent! Something to aim for then. Look, I don't want to be your Master, it sounds exhausting! Can I just give you the Hallows and be done with it?" Harry offered, looking hopeful.
"You could." Death said, nodding slowly. "But... keep the cloak. On me."
"Really?"
Death shrugged. "Sure, why not? Between you and your ancestors, it's made my eternity much more interesting."
"Awesome! Thank you!" Harry handed the wand to Death. "Do you... can I keep the stone for a short while longer? Just so everyone can see their loved ones one more time?"
Death nodded. "You have three three weeks."
"So, you're the boy who bullied my son for his entire childhood?" James glared at Dudley, who gulped.
"Leave him alone, Dad, it was a generational trauma thing." Harry defended Dudley, wagging a finger at his dad. "Besides, he shot Bellatrix right in the chest! Bang! It was epic!"
"That is true." James said thoughtfully. "I suppose I can forgive you, then."
"Of course you can, dear." Lily patted James' shoulder. "Dudley darling, it's wonderful to meet you!"
Dudley nodded uncomfortably. Harry understood - talking to dead people was weird if you'd never done it before. "You too, Aunt Lily."
"Now tell me, does your mother really still crane over garden fences?" Lily asked curiously. Dudley grinned, and Harry had a feeling he was going to be replaced all over again.
Why was he never able to just be someone's favourite? Oh well, at least he still had Minerva.
"Oh my!" Minerva gasped at the sight of her two ex-students smiling at her, tears in her eyes.
"Hi, Minnie." James said with a smile. "We just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for Harry."
"Of course, James, Lily. Anything for my favourite students."
Harry stomped his foot and stormed off.
"We wanted to thank you too, Severus." James added, smiling at the man stood next to Minerva.
"Me?" Severus croaked, still staring at Lily as if he was seeing a ghost. Which he was, technically.
"Yes, you." Lily said with an eye roll. "You've protected him so well, Sev."
"Even if you were a git for the first few years." James said. "And... I'm sorry. For everything."
Severus just nodded, apparently unable to speak.
"Thank you for taking care of him, Molly." Lily said tearfully as she smiled at the woman who had looked after her son for so many years.
"Of course, dear. You would've done the same for mine." Harry let Molly wrap him in a hug as his parents watched wistfully.
"Hey Mols!"
Molly gasped as her younger brothers appeared before her.
"Fabian! Gideon! Oh, it's really you! You have to meet the kids!"
"Gabian. Fideon. It's a pleasure."
"Gred. Forge. The pleasure is all ours."
"Don't worry." Harry patted Molly gently on the shoulder. "Death wants the stone back soon, they won't have time to cause too much trouble."
"So your Prongs, huh?"
"That's me!"
Fred and George looked between James, Remus and Sirius with awe.
"Our heroes!" They bowed to the Marauders. James, Sirius and Remus bowed back.
The twins then looked at the Marauders with identical smirks.
"No offence or anything, but-"
"-Harry has definitely outdone you all."
Harry grinned proudly. Sirius and James pouted. Remus and Lily sighed.
"Mum!" Luna cried.
"Luna! Xenophilius! Oh, my darlings!"
"Mum? Dad? Is it really you?"
"Yes, my love. Oh, Susan, you brave girl!" Amelia smiled at the sight of her brother and his wife. She stood to the side for now. Susan needed this far more than she did.
"Mum? Dad? But you're in St Mungos!" Neville exclaimed.
Alice smiled sadly. "No, Neville darling. Our bodies are in St Mungos, but our souls have moved on."
"So... you aren't in pain?" Neville asked, looking slightly relieved.
Frank smiled. "No, my boy, we aren't in any pain at all. Now, where's my mother? I need to have words with her and her brother about throwing my son out of windows."
"Yes, Mr Longbottom, that's what I've been saying for years!" Harry agreed vehemently. "Give them what for! Verbally, of course, I don't think you can physically hit them. Do you want me to do it for you? Hermione punches better than me actually, I'll go and get her. HERMIONE!"
Neville and his parents watched Harry go with identical expressions.
"I'm glad you have Harry as a friend, dear." Alice said. "He's your god-brother, you know."
"He is?" Neville's eyes widened. "Harry, come back! We're god-brothers!"
James waved at his two best friends, who were stood still and completely gobsmacked.
"Prongs? Is it really you? Lils?" Remus asked, the first to find his voice. Sirius just gaped, eyes filled with tears.
"Padfoot, Moony." Harry smiled softly and shut the door behind them. He would go back in later, but for now they needed to talk without him present.
"Albus." Ariana gave her brother a hard look.
"Ariana." Albus' voice cracked. Aberforth just watched with a grumpy expression, softening when Ariana smiled warmly at him.
"Reg?" Sirius croaked, staring at his little brother in shock.
"Sirius. I'm so sorry, I-"
"Shut up. I love you, Reg, I'm so, so sorry..."
"Regulus?"
"Severus!"
"Did you really think you could chat to Jamie and Lils for hours and then leave without speaking to the rest of us Black? Lupin?"
Sirius put a hand on his chest, giving Marlene his best wounded expression. "Ouch, Marls. Harry said we'd speak to you tomorrow."
Marlene scowled. "Tough luck, we're here now."
Sirius gasped. "No way, really?" He asked sarcastically. He and Marlene glared at each other and burst into fits of laughter. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and Harry found himself stood between Regulus and Dorcas.
"They were always like this." Dorcas said in a low voice. "When James unofficially adopted Sirius as brother he became Marlene's pseudo cousin."
"And then none of us ever slept again." Remus added dryly. Regulus smirked.
"James? Lily?"
"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, How DARE YOU-"
"Hey Bella, I know you're evil and dead and everybody hates you, but no one else will play death-tag with me!"
"One more game." The evil witch sighed. Harry brightened.
"Yay! You're it!"
"Hey Voldy, Since your dead and I can't send you mind messages or howlers anymore, I just wanted to remind you that I defeated you for good before Death takes the stone back!"
"POTTER!"
"It's time." Harry turned to smile at his parents one last time. He felt Sirius' hand on his shoulder, shaking. Remus had his hand on Harry's other shoulder, gripping tightly. They had said their goodbyes, it was Harry's turn now.
"You'll be okay." Lily whispered. "Live life to the fullest, Harry. Be happy-"
"Marry Susan please." James said with a grin. "She's hilarious." Lily elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow!"
"Great parenting, James, trying to dictate your child's life. Ignore him Harry, marry whoever you want to." Lily said firmly, glaring at her husband.
"But Lils, he-"
"We love you, son. And we are so, so proud of the young man you've become." Harry felt a single tear roll down his cheek.
"Yes." James reached out to grip Harry's shoulder, and sighed sadly when he couldn't. "We love you to the ends of the earth."
"See you soon?" Harry asked, voice breaking slightly.
"But not too soon." Lily warned. Harry smirked.
"Ready?" Death held out a hand. Harry waved at his parents one last time and tipped the stone into Death's palm.
They were gone.
Death nodded to Harry and vanished.
The three men stood in silence for a while, staring wistfully at the spot Lily and James had just occupied. Harry took a deep breath and wiped his eyes.
"Hey Sirius? Since I showed you mum and dad again, am I your favourite godson now?" He asked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Sirius gave a watery chuckle and ruffled his hair.
"Not a chance, kid, have you seen how cute Teddy is? Nothing can compare." He joked, wrapping Harry in a bear hug.
Chapter 56: How To Break Into Gringotts, A Guide
McGonagall's Office, Normal Time
Harry and Susan sat opposite the Headmistress, unable to meet her eye. The Headmistress watched them both in silence, tapping her finger on her biscuit tin. The Deputy Headmaster stood behind her, his usual blank mask firmly in place.
After several seconds of oppressive silence, Harry broke first.
"Susan did it!" He blurted out.
"I did not!" Susan gasped, turning to glare at Harry. "It was your genius idea in the first place!"
"No, I distinctly remember you coming up with it!" Harry snapped back, clenching his fists.
"You haven't distinctly remembered anything in your whole life!" Susan exclaimed. Harry gasped.
"Wow, that was low. And I'll have you know my memory is in fine working order!" He huffed, crossing his arms in offence.
"Oh yeah, what did we did have for breakfast yesterday?" Susan challenged, raising an eyebrow in a Snape-like manner.
"How should I know? I wasn't at breakfast because you dragged me off before I could even enter the Great Hall!" Harry shouted.
"You filthy liar, I never did anything of the sort!" Susan scoffed.
"Yes you did!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"Harry, I swear if you try that game with me I will-"
"ENOUGH!"
The two squabbling students were shocked back to silence, staring at their furious Headmistress in slight fear. Minerva almost smirked. Almost.
"I do not care which of you started it." She said severely. "What I care about is the fact the two of you somehow managed to start another war only three months after the last one finished. Three months!" Her nostrils flared.
"Four, actually. And in our defence, this war is with a completely different nation." Harry snapped his mouth shut at the fierce glare Minerva sent his way.
"Do you have any idea how dangerous goblins can be?" Snape asked quietly, eyes glittering with fury. "And you've thoughtlessly managed to start a war with them. What on earth possessed you?"
"We didn't-"
"Quiet, Miss Bones. You two have three minutes to explain yourselves before we offer you up to goblins as penance for your actions." Minerva threatened, practically hissing in anger.
Harry and Susan gulped.
"Well?" Minerva asked coldly. "Explain. The clock is ticking."
"Tick tock!" Snape said it dangerously softly, but Harry new the gleeful shine in his eye meant he was enjoying every second of this telling off. Not all old habits faded with time, after all.
Gringotts, Two Hours Prior
"I have a preposition for you." Harry said to the Goblin King, smirking. Susan stood next to him, grinning madly.
"And what would that be?" The King asked, leaning forwards.
"Well." Harry said. "I've been told on no uncertain terms am I to ever make a bet again. So I thought it was high time to make another one!" He smiled brightly.
"And what 'bet' are you proposing?" The King raised a brow.
"I bet that me and Susan here can break into this bank and steal a selected item of your choice within three days." Harry said boldly. Susan nodded in agreement.
"I see." The Goblin King inclined his head slightly. "And if you win, what do you want from us?"
"A thousand galleons." Susan said confidently.
"Three hundred." The Goblin King sneered.
"Seven hundred."
"Five hundred is my final offer." The King growled. "And if you fail?"
"Then you get this!" Harry pulled the sword of Gryffindor out of the hat, more commonly known as Monty these days. Neville had been more than willing to give it back to him when he found out it was goblin-made and they would likely kill him if they found out he had it.
"Get what is already rightfully ours, boy?" The King roared. "Give me that sword and go with your lives!"
"But the bet!" Harry cried.
"Is off. Give me what is mine, now!"
"Or what?" Harry's eyes shone with merriment. Susan suppressed a groan at her danger-loving... friend? date? boyfriend? Eh, a conundrum to worry about when they weren't on the brink of starting a goblin war.
"Or we go to war!" The goblins surrounding the room let out a battle cry. Susan's breath hitched.
"Harry, give it to them." She muttered. "We don't want another goblin war. Seriously."
"Fine, fine, have it." Harry tossed the sword to the King, who placed it reverently on his desk. "Now, can we still do the bet?"
The Goblin King sighed. "Fine. But if we win, you have to pay the price." He bared his teeth in a savage grin.
"What do you want?" Susan asked, smirking.
"We want your lot to remember their place." The Goblin sneered. "If we win, you will tell your magic folk that you've caused another goblin war."
"Is that it?" Harry asked incredulously.
"No, of course not! We want the 500 galleons reward also."
Harry and Susan's smiles were identical. "Deal." They chorused.
It took them forty eight tries, the most memorable being the one being where they managed to get in but got stuck when they tried to ride a dragon to freedom. Harry's personal favourite was the one where they let loose a hoarde of nifflers. Eventually they succeeded by persuading Flitwick to help them (Apparently Goblins hate the smell of vanilla, who knew?). They managed to break in and steal the selected item five seconds before the deadline. And all they used was some vanilla, a bowtruckle and maybe a little bit of dynamite.
Because of the damage caused by the explosives, the King demanded they pay for the reparations and carry out the first part of the bet. 500 Galleons richer, Susan and Harry left the bank, doing their best to look guilty.
McGonagall's Office, Normal Time
"Say something!" Snape hissed at the two seventh years, who stared down at their laps, lips pursed. He shared a look with Minerva. "You have started a war, what do you have to say for yourselves!"
"April fools?" Harry offered weakly. He looked up and me the absolutely furious glare of his Headmistress. "Uh, bye!" He sprinted for the door, Susan at his heels.
"POTTER!"
"I'm going to be in detention until I'm thirty!" Susan wheezed, collapsing into an armchair in the Room of Requirement.
"I'm going to be in detention until I'm fifty!" Harry cackled. The two looked at each other for three seconds and then burst into a fit of laughter.
"Where have you two been?" Hermione demanded, hands on hips. "You vanished for three days and then when you returned, looking thoroughly beaten up I might add, the Daily Prophet announced a Goblin War. What do you have to say for yourselves?"
"A Goblin War?" Harry asked, no longer laughing. "That's not good. Do you have any idea how dangerous Goblin Wars can be?"
Susan spluttered and Harry started laughing again, rolling onto the floor.
Hermione and Draco glared at them both.
"I knew they had something to do with it." Ginny smirked. Daphne rolled her eyes.
"Of course they did. When do they not?" She said, grabbing the nearest textbook and whacking Harry on the head.
"Ouch!" He exclaimed. "What was that for?"
"Leaving me behind. Again!" Daphne said crossly, dropping the book.
"Now, that's just simply not fair. I took you to the Gaunt House, didn't I?" Harry pointed out. Daphne glared at him.
"Because you needed me! And you took Susan to the ministry first!" She argued back, pointing accusingly at Susan, who gave her an incredulous look.
"Daphne, are you jealous?" Ron asked slowly, teasing lilt to his tone.
Daphne huffed. "No!"
Harry got to his feet and pointed at her. "You are! You're jealous!"
"You would be if your brother kept leaving you out of fun stuff!" Daphne retorted. Harry softened.
"Aww, you consider me your brother? I love you too."
"No you don't." Daphne pouted. "Otherwise you would have invited me to go with you."
Harry and Susan shared a look. As easy as it would be to appease Daphne by telling her it was a date, they weren't ready for that titbit of information to get out yet.
"I'm planning on sneaking out this weekend to go skiing with Sirius." Harry said amicably. "Want to come with?"
"Duh." Daphne said. "Where to? The Alps?"
"No idea!" Harry said brightly. "But it will be fun!"
"Okay cool, I want ice cream now." Daphne grabbed Harry by the arm and dragged him out of the room. The rest of the group looked at each other, befuddled.
"And that was one of the more normal interactions they've had!" Draco scoffed. Ron barked out a laugh and Neville sneezed.
Hermione just shook her head and shot a knowing look at Susan, who avoided her gaze. Luna smiled.
Harry swiped a paw at Minerva. She hissed at him and bopped him firmly on the nose. He yapped at her playfully and lunged for her tail. She yowled and sprinted after him. Padfoot barked joyfully and charged after both of them, sending all three animagi tumbling over one another, right down a particularly steep part of the forest.
They landed in a pile at the bottom, in varying states of distress. Above them, a crow cawed loudly. They all looked up, ears twitching. The cawing got louder and louder and the crow swooped down and landed in front of them, turning back into Severus Snape with ease.
"You.. you.." He spluttered, and the fox glared at him before turning back into Harry. Minerva and Sirius followed suit.
"Run." Minerva said to Severus, before lunging at him. He fled, angry cat on his heels.
Chapter 57: Harry Potter Breaks The Timeline
"Harry?"
"No."
Sirius scowled. "Harry, the favourite godson thing was a joke, lighten up."
"No."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I need to ask you something."
Hermione and Draco looked up suspiciously. Daphne bit her lip, probably to suppress giggles. Luna smiled. Neville rolled his eyes and Susan turned the page of her book. Ginny and Ron glanced between Sirius and Harry, interest piqued.
"And what sort of question would that be, Mr Black?" Harry asked in a clipped tone. Sirius frowned. Wow, Harry had really taken the favourite godson banter to heart. Remus snorted from behind Sirius.
"Told you it would come back to bite you." He murmured, shaking his head fondly. "Anyway, Harry, Sirius and I were just reminiscing on our Hogwarts days when we remembered something rather peculiar..."
Minerva's Office
"Well, Black, if you do take up on Poppy's offer to be trained and paid to be a healer for the school, we would be delighted to have you." Minerva took a small sip of a tea and offered Sirius a biscuit.
"Thanks." He said gratefully, accepting. "Blimey, working in the hospital wing. Pretty sure there wasn't a single day where at least one of us Marauders wasn't in there, was there Moons?" Remus gave a half-shrug and put down his empty mug.
"At least Remus had a legitimate reason most of the time, the rest of you just made my job ten times harder. However, you lot did help to get me a pay rise." Poppy added, eliciting a snort from Severus.
Sirius' eyebrows shot up. "We did? When? Which incident was it?"
"The Great Prank War of 1975?" Remus wondered aloud. "You and James were in the Hospital Wing for weeks after that one. And were incredibly overdramatic about it too, it's no wonder where Harry got it from."
"Nope, that wasn't it." Poppy shook her head, smirking. "The incident that pushed me far enough to give Dumbledore a "pay me more or I'll quit" ultimatum was actually in your last year of schooling. In fact, your part in the whole matter was mostly indirect. I believe we had some... interesting transfers that somehow escalated your troublemaking prowess to new heights?"
"Oh yeah, I remember them!" Sirius exclaimed. "How long were they with us for, like two weeks? They were very strange."
"And just as insufferable as the rest of you." Severus drawled.
"It was more like two days. It only felt like two weeks because they were completely off their rockers. What were their names again?" Remus asked, looking at Minerva and Poppy, who both seemed unsure. Severus' eyes widened.
"What, Snape?" Sirius asked. He was still slightly thrown off by being on somewhat cordial terms with the man.
"Their names." He said slowly, eyes flashing with anger. "How did I forget?"
"What? What were their names?" Sirius asked, leaning forwards.
Snape glared at his own cup of untouched tea and muttered two names, just loud enough for the others to hear.
Remus choked and Minerva spat out her mouthful of tea. Sirius dropped his mug in absolute horror.
Hogwarts Castle, 1977
"Who do you reckon they are?" Sirius nudged James in the side, pointing at the two students following McGonagall to the front of the hall. She had the sorting hat tucked under her arm.
"I don't know. Transfers, maybe?" James poked his bacon with his fork, perking up a bit when Lily flopped down next to him.
"Three months into the year? That seems a bit strange." Lily wrinkled her nose, eyeing the two strangers. Both were definitely about their age, and looked fairly similar.
The boy was a little shorter than James, Sirius reckoned, and had messy brown hair that reached his shoulders. Sirius wasn't sure if he was imagining the slightly crazed gleam in his otherwise unremarkable brown eyes. The girl was shorter than the boy by a centimetre at most, and was gazing around the room with an odd sense of familiarity. Her dark brown hair easily reached her waist.
Sirius narrowed his eyes. Now that he thought about it, both of them seemed very comfortable for two strangers who had just entered the main meeting place of a brand new environment, filled with hundreds of pairs of eyes watching them. In fact, the pair seemed more content trying to kick each other in the backs of their knees as they walked than they did to stare at the hall in wonder.
The girl managed to send the boy crumpling to the floor first. He hissed and glared at her. She rolled her eyes and offered him a hand up; he took it and used it to pull himself up whilst simultaneously pulling her to the floor. She squeaked and McGonagall turned to look at them both disapprovingly.
James was sniggering behind his hand. Lily and Remus seemed torn between amusement and disapproval. Peter looked a bit scared.
Sirius wasn't sure what to think.
"Attention please!" Everyone fell silent and turned to look at McGonagall. Sirius made eye contact with the boy stood behind her, who winked. Sirius winked back. He had no idea who these kids were, but they seemed like trouble.
"Today, two new students will join our seventh year class. I trust you will all give Mr Daniel Radcliffe and Miss Daphne Fields a warm welcome. Now, let's get you both sorted into your houses, shall we?"
"Who would transfer in seventh year?" Lily wrinkled her nose in confusion whilst McGonagall beckoned the boy forwards. He bobbed down slightly so she could place the hat on his head and he closed his eyes.
Sirius and James watched with identical smirks as the hat and the boy seemed to have a pretty intense battle of wills.
"Don't you dare!" The boy eventually threatened aloud. James and Sirius exchanged a look. The hat chuckled loudly.
"Sorry, but the opportunity really is too good to miss. RAVENCLAW!"
Opportunity? Sirius frowned. His friends did the same. What opportunity? What was so bad about Ravenclaw?
"D'you think he's just really dumb and the hat's trying to mess with him?" Peter asked nervously, trying to find a reason as to why the boy would hate Ravenclaw.
"Nah, the kid is probably just being dramatic. Ravenclaw is an okay house, he'll be fine." James said confidently.
Sirius watched as the boy, Radcliffe, scowled and glared at the hat.
"You are an evil, spiteful little piece of piece of fabric and I will get my revenge for this!" He declared angrily. Remus and Lily exchanged incredulous looks as the boy stormed towards the Ravenclaw table.
"What were you saying, James?" Sirius asked cheerfully as the boy sat down behind them with a resounding thud, still muttering under his breath about "senile magical objects and their uppity snobbishness".
McGonagall seemed ruffled, but was unsure how to address the behaviour. Sirius looked up at Dumbledore, who just looked plain amused. Sighing, McGonagall moved on.
"Miss Fields, if you please." Sirius watched as the girl's expression mirrored Radcliffe's almost perfectly as she argued mentally with the hat before also being sorted into Ravenclaw.
Sirius was never more grateful for sitting on the side of Gryffindor table that was closest to the Ravenclaws. The two new Ravenclaws were sat with their backs facing the Marauders, meaning they were in the top spot for eavesdropping.
As breakfast continued, the Marauders eavesdropped shamelessly. Even Lily huffed and put her book to the side to listen, Alice and Marlene giving her knowing grins. Mary, ever the dramatic one, was perfectly positioned opposite to act our the conversation in real-time so that James and Sirius wouldn't give themselves away by turning around curiously. Lily also had her back to the Ravenclaws, but she was less likely to be so obviously nosy, not when she'd spent years perfecting her eavesdropping skills.
"... can't believe Monty would have the nerve, what a sick, twisted sense of humour-" The boy, Radcliffe, said bitterly. James raised a brow at Sirius. Who was Monty?
"Honestly! That blasted hat, far more trouble than he's worth. You play one little game and all of a sudden he thinks he's this big hot-shot-" The girl added venomously.
"Did- did they just call the sorting hat Monty?" Peter whispered. Remus shushed him but the two new Ravenclaws were too engrossed in their conversation to notice the eavesdroppers.
Sirius watched Marlene's eyebrows rise higher and higher.
"What?" He asked, since he couldn't see the Ravenclaws without physically turning around.
"Who eats roast potatoes with bolognaise? And for breakfast? Really?" Is all she said in response, giving one of the transfers a disgusted look.
"One, ew. Two, how did he get spag bol and potatoes at breakfast time?" Remus asked incredulously. Sirius and James grinned, both unanimously deciding they had a new mission.
"He could've at least gone with Hufflepuff, or just not sorted us at all. Anywhere but Ravenclaw, that was my only request-"
"I swear the more I begged the more he laughed, should've kept my mouth shut. Where's the ice cream in this place anyway?"
"What's so wrong with Ravenclaw?" Lily muttered frostily, looking slightly offended. She had almost been one herself apparently. Sirius smirked at her.
"- It's breakfast, Daphne, you don't get pudding. I would've preferred Slytherin, even if it is full of fully-fledged Death Eaters!" Sirius and James stifled snorts, Remus rolled his eyes and the girls stilled.
"Ravenclaw is definitely better than Slytherin, what is their problem?" Mary hissed.
"No pudding at breakfast, he says whilst stuffing his face with a cooked dinner. And what do you mean, full of fully-fledged Death Eaters?" The girl sounded mightily offended for someone not in Slytherin.
"I meant what I said." Radcliffe said stubbornly. Sirius sniggered.
"Excuse me? Watch yourself, Daniel." Sirius gave the girl a sharp look. It sounded a lot like she was defending Death Eaters.
"Oh shut it, Fields. Just because you're a slippery little snake in a crow's nest doesn't mean you need to bite my head off." Lily's eyes narrowed.
"What is it, Evans?" Sirius whispered.
"He makes it sound like she's meant to be a Slytherin or something. And don't you think they say each other's names like - I don't know, like they're fake or something?"
James snorted. "Surely not."
"You could've been so much more inventive, you know? All I ask for is one nickname, one-" Lily gave James a triumphant look.
"Well then, the real question is who are they actually?" Remus whispered.
"Tough bananas!" The boy scoffed. "And if you keep talking to me like that, you'll never get one!"
"He sounds like you when you tell James no." Sirius smirked at Lily, who rolled her eyes. "That's an Evans catchphrase 101."
The girl interrupted them. "I wish you'd stop saying that. Anyway, I thought you got over all your "All Slytherins are Death Eaters" thing?" Sirius looked at a sniggering Mary with a raised brow, who mimed putting her hands on her hips in manner not unlike James' mum.
"Never mind." James said, elbowing Sirius to stop him from chuckling. "The girl sounds more like you then he did, Evans." Lily glared at him and he winked at her playfully.
"Wait." Remus said suddenly. "They're transfers, they've never been here before. How do they know enough about Hogwarts to have opinions like these already?"
"Always so suspicious, Moons. Next you'll be telling us they're time travellers!" Sirius snarked. James stifled a laugh.
"I never had an "all Slytherin's are Death Eaters" thing, I had an "I hate Draco" thing! It's completely different!" Radcliffe argued. Mary mimed throwing her hands up in the air in frustration and Sirius had to hold back laughter at the play-by-play she was giving them. James covered his mouth to stifle his own laughter.
"There's no one called Draco in Slytherin, is there?" Alice asked, looking over at the Slytherin table. "I've never heard the name."
"Not in any of my family's circles." Sirius said darkly.
"You just said-" The girl started, but was interrupted.
"It's 1977, so statistically I'm actually correct." The boy sounded incredibly pleased with himself.
"What the-"
Lily covered James mouth. "Shut up, they'll here you!" She hissed.
"How does he know the Slytherin-to-Death Eater statistics of this year? We don't even have a statistic!" Marline whispered frantically.
"I bet time travellers is sounding less far-fetched now, eh Padfoot?" Remus quipped. Sirius smirked at him.
"You say it like you were the one to come up with it." He snarked back. Remus stomped on his foot. "Ow! That was low, even for you."
Remus just grinned proudly and took another bite of toast.
"How would you know? You hate statistics!" The girl retorted, making the boy laugh. Sirius wondered if they were just a bit barmy. Surely if they were really some sort of secret agents or time travellers they would have put up a muffliato before openly discussing it.
"Looks less suspicious to sound crazy then to be all secretive." Remus muttered, guessing Sirius' thought process.
"Stop reading my mind like that, it's creepy." Sirius said, tuning back in to the transfers' conversation.
"You seriously thought I waltzed in here without Susan and Hermione doing thorough research for me first?"
"Who?" Peter squeaked. Sirius shushed him, but they were all thinking the same thing. Who were Susan and Hermione?
"You didn't tell me about any of this!" The girl exclaimed. "I've been completely blindsided! You see, this is why I hate you."
"Oh as if, I'm literally your favourite person. And I didn't tell you because I was going to come here alone until you got all jealous!"
"Okay, I'm officially super confused now." Marlene said, giving the Ravenclaws a strange look. "What is happening?"
"Oh look, who is she?" James pointed at a small blonde girl who looked an awful lot like Pandora, a Ravenclaw two years below them. The blonde girl met Sirius' eye and waved merrily before sitting down opposite the two arguing Ravenclaws.
"Have you seen her before?" Mary asked. "Because I haven't." The other eavesdropping Gryffindors shook their heads.
"-It's not my fault you keep ditching me for Su- hey Luna. Wait, Luna?" The girl hissed in surprise. Sirius frowned.
"Luna, what are you doing here?" The boy asked urgently. "It's literally impossible for you to be here!" Sirius' frown deepened. What in Merlin's name was going on?
"You're here." Luna said delicately. The other girl snorted and the boy huffed. "So I'm here. Apparently Professor Sinistra doesn't trust you to do things like this alone. Professor Trelawney seemed quite content to let you."
"Do things like what?" James muttered to himself.
"Isn't Trelawney the new Divination teacher?" Marlene asked with a wary look at the staff table.
"Yep." Sirius said, having taken the class for an easy NEWT. "Trelawney's off her rocker, but aren't all Divination professors? Sinistra's been here for ages. Which begs the question: how do these three completely new students know them?"
"Those meddling old hags!" The boy exclaimed, presumably meaning the teachers. Lily scowled and James' eyes lit up. Sirius heard what he thought was a rather nasty smack. "Ouch! Daphne, If you knew what I knew about those two... slime-buckets, you'd be insulting them too!"
"He's got a rather... unique taste in insults, hasn't he?" Alice said poshly.
"Oh yeah, very inventive!" Sirius snickered. "Maybe I'll pay him to use it to Sinistra's face next week!" He didn't bother to keep his voice down- Lily had put up a discreet silencing ward around them, so they couldn't be heard by the transfers but could still listen avidly.
"Enlighten me, then." The girl shot back. "Go on!"
"No, I promised I wouldn't tell. I already got it in the neck for telling Su- Ow, would you please stop hitting me! It's not my fault Susan is always the first person I see after cool stuff happens! Wait, Luna, if you're here..." The boy trailed off and Mary pulled a shocked face. Sirius stifled a snort. "Does that mean you're-"
"What? She's what?" Daphne asked. Sirius hoped the boy would answer her. He didn't.
"Those scheming little niffler-loving liars!" The boy clenched his fists. "Should've known better than to trust them."
Sirius and James broke out into peals of laughter.
"Niffler-loving!" James spluttered. "What sort of insult is that?"
To the Gryffindor Seventh Years' shock, the boy turned to the staff table and stuck his tongue out at the two professors he'd named earlier. The Gryffindor seventh years watched open-mouthed as Sinistra winked back and Trelawney waved merrily.
"What the actual-" James cut himself off, shaking his head slightly. "Have we all gone mental? Am I dreaming?" Sirius kicked him in the shin. "Ow!"
"Nope, not a dream." Sirius grinned and shuffled away from James' own vengeful foot.
They head a much louder smack this time.
"Tell me!" The girl hissed.
"I will when we get back, if I get permission to. Susan will explain it better than-"
"Why do you keep telling Susan all your deepest secrets now, huh?" Mary put her hands back on her hips and glared at Sirius, who laughed openly.
"Oh for the love of- not this again!" The boy groaned.
Lily cancelled her spell and coughed loudly. James and Sirius glared at her, wanting to continue watching the show, but reluctantly turned in their seats to face the two (three?) new Ravenclaws.
"Er, hi?" Lily said, slightly lamely. The blonde Ravenclaw smiled at her and the other two turned around on the bench to face them. "Welcome to Hogwarts! I'm Lily Evans, Head Girl."
"James Potter, Head Boy." James smiled easily at the Ravenclaws.
"Hi!" The boy exclaimed eagerly. Daphne facepalmed. "I'm Daniel Radcliffe, but you can call me Daniel. It is so great to be here! Well, sort of. Would've been much nicer if we'd been in literally any other house." The boy pouted and the girl whacked him again. "Oh right, this Daphne Fields, my extremely violent psychopathic cousin."
"Says the boy who plays death-tag with Be-" Daniel covered her mouth. Daphne glared at him furiously.
"What do you have against Ravenclaws?" James asked, pretending they hadn't even been eavesdropping the whole time. Daniel scowled and uncovered Daphne's mouth. Daphne shuddered.
"Everything." Daniel said darkly. "Absolutely everything." The Ravenclaws around them had been steadily looking more and more offended, but that was the final straw. The Ravenclaws sat nearest to them gave them extremely dirty looks and shuffled away from them.
"Well, that seems a bit prejudiced." Marlene smirked. "Marlene McKinnon. The blonde is Alice, the brunette is Mary. The idiot sat next to the idiot called James is called Sirius, and those two are Remus and Peter."
The boy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He caught a glimpse of his light brown hair and seemed a bit surprised. "Er hi." He said rather lamely, similar to Lily earlier.
"Daniel Radcliffe is an interesting name, are you a muggleborn?" Lily asked politely.
"Nope, half-blood. The name suits me well, I am pretty rad." Sirius laughed. "Like I said earlier, this is Daphne."
"Pleasure." She said, eyeing the Gryffindors. "I'm Daniel's cousin, and I'm by far his superior in every way." Sirius definitely didn't imagine the smug smirk on her face.
Daniel scoffed. "You wish! And this is Luna. She doesn't speak much." The blonde girl waved and skipped out of the hall.
"What is it with you people stealing my mannerisms?" Daniel said to Daphne, who just grinned and pinched his arm.
"How'd you know... Luna, was it?" James scratched his head. "I don't remember seeing her here before. And she wasn't sorted with you guys?"
"She's not on the roster." Daniel and Daphne chorused.
Lily raised a brow. "Right. Because that's totally normal and not strange at all."
Daniel frowned, trying to find the words. "Luna just sort of... comes and goes where she pleases. Which makes a lot more sense to me now." He added the last bit as an afterthought.
"Not to me." Daphne grumbled. "Because you don't tell me anything anymore."
"Oh stop whining, please!" Daniel groaned. "Honestly, you're worse than Draco!"
"Who is Draco?" Mary asked. Daniel winced.
"Oh, a friend of ours from our previous school. He's a git, you'd hate him."
"You're a git and I hate you." Daphne added.
"Do you two even like each other at all?" Remus asked incredulously. "I mean, you showed up together trying to kick each other over and since your sorting you've done nothing except argue!"
"Been earwigging, have you?" Daniel smirked. "We get along just fine, it's just the way we are."
"Speak for yourself!" Daphne said bitterly. Sirius hid a smile at her obvious displeasure. Daniel was an odd bloke, but he was pretty funny.
"Right that's it, I'm leaving you behind next time." Daniel said sternly. Daphne gasped in outrage.
"Leaving her behind where?" James asked, confused. "I thought you were just transfers?"
"Of a sort." Daniel shrugged noncommittally. "I was supposed to come alone, technically." He gave Daphne a pointed look and she huffed.
"Tell that to Luna." She muttered.
"Right." Sirius raised a brow and shook his head, giving up on trying to figure out who exactly these people were. "So, how do you like Hogwarts so far?" He asked instead.
"It's great!" Daphne said, smiling at Sirius. "Beautiful castle. It looks amazing with all the snow outside." Alice nodded in agreement.
"Wonderful skiing weather." Daniel added. Lily perked up.
"You ski?" She said excitedly.
"Nope!" Daniel grinned. "I've always wanted to though, it's on my bucket list. Since we're in the Scottish highlands I'm sure there's some mountains around for us to have a go at it on."
"Not on school grounds there isn't." James leaned forwards, a familiar smirk crossing his face. Sirius felt his own smile widen. "But we know a few ways out if you fancy a little... day trip." Sirius smirked. He liked the two Ravenclaws, but this was the true test as to whether they were worth any of the Marauder's time.
"Sure, why not?" Daniel shrugged. "Sneaking out and learning to ski can't be harder than fighting a dragon." Sirius and James looked at each other with identical smirks. These two strange Ravenclaws had stories, and the two marauders would not rest until they had heard them all.
Lily spluttered. "You are joking, right? You've only been here for thirty minutes! You can't sneak out already!"
Daphne grinned, rather savagely in Sirius' opinion. "Thirty minutes is plenty long enough to settle in, don't you agree?" She turned to Daniel, who nodded vehemently in agreement.
"What an odd comparison you used before." Remus said thoughtfully. "Had many interactions with dragons, have you?"
"Only three." Daniel tilted his head as if it were totally normal to encounter dragons. "None of them were exactly a fight, though. More so a smuggling operation, a conversation and a ride." Sirius' and James' eyes bugged out of their heads.
"Shut your mouths, you'll catch fish." Daniel smirked. Sirius was now officially hooked.
"You're hired." He crowed delightedly. "Moony, two new Marauders incoming. They'll need nicknames, of course!"
"That's alright, we'll keep the ones we've got." Daniel said with a wink. Daphne looked extremely cross at that.
"Oh? And what would those be?" Sirius put his chin on his hand, staring at the two newbies with curiosity.
"You look lovesick, Padfoot, pull yourself together." James snarked. "Are you saying Daniel and Daphne aren't your real names?"
Daniel grinned. "They are. My nickname is, oh, which one Daphne? Child of Nightmares or Chaos Bringer?" Daphne didn't respond. Sirius raised a brow.
"She's a bit miffed that I have a lot of crazy nicknames and she doesn't." Daniel explained. "And as long as she stays miffed about it, that's how it will stay. "
"Chaos Bringer it is!" James exclaimed. "And I guess Daphne will just have to stay Daphne."
"You'll pay for this." Daphne promised Daniel. He just laughed.
"Okay, okay, you can have a nickname. How about Greengrass?" He suggested innocently, but both James and Sirius noticed the teasing lilt in his tone. Daphne's snarl was covered up by Alice's exclamation of delight.
"Oh, it matches your surname!" Alice clapped. "How wonderful!"
Sirius thought if looks could kill, Daniel Radcliffe would definitely be dead.
Lily huffed. "I can't believe this. We have trouble enough with these four, add two more? Ridiculous!"
"What, the nicknames? That's the point Evans, they're supposed to be ridiculous." Sirius retorted, trying to wind Lily up. "Besides, everyone here knows you're the insane one!"
Lily huffed. "I am not!" The other Gryffindors exchanged a knowing look. "I'm not! Honestly, you hide an extremely loud invisible clock in a room one time and you get called crazy! It's a classic muggle prank!"
"Muggles can't make them invisible." Remus pointed out. "And none of us were even referring to the clock."
"Oh really? What were you referring to then?" Lily glared at Remus dangerously and he gulped. Sirius leaned forwards, smirking widely.
"Well, firstly there is the temper, then that thing you did Snape's slimy little snake friends the other day-"
"The kettle incident-"
"The bowtruckle fiasco-"
"The fi-"
"Alright, alright!" Lily had flushed slightly with embarrassment, but she was smiling. "Anyway, just because I, very occasionally might I add, get revenge on people when necessary, I do not sneak out of my school in the middle of winter to go skiing! Besides, sneaking out, climbing a mountain and teaching yourselves to ski is impossible!"
Daniel raised a brow at Lily's outburst. "Oh yeah? How about a bet, Evans?"
Sirius and James grinned madly for the rest of the day. For some reason the transfers did not show up for any of their classes, but even that didn't dull James and Sirius' good moods. Not when they already had the perfect plans for the next day.
Daphne, Daniel, Sirius and James ventured out alone the very next morning, as per the rules of Lily and Daniel's bet. Luckily it was a Saturday, and a Hogsmeade weekend to boot. Since Daniel and Daphne had no permission slips, they weren't allowed to go. Not that it mattered- there were plenty of other ways to sneak out after all.
It was simple, really. If the four of them could sneak out of the castle, climb a nearby mountain and successfully ski, Lily would owe them twenty galleons and a favour for the Marauders. For some reason, Daniel didn't want to claim the favour for himself.
"Fine, one favour. But to share, not one each."
They had borrowed a camera from the mystery girl, Luna, and Lily had cast some sort of spell on them so she would know if they got lost or injured. She didn't seem too worried, years of exposure to Marauder nonsense tended to knock the anxiety out of you after a while.
"One-eyed witch?" Sirius asked James casually as they led the way through the castle.
"Nah, Honeydukes will be heaving at this time of day." Daniel said offhandedly. Sirius and James froze and turned to stare at him.
"How do you know about-" Sirius cut himself off, genuinely lost for words.
Daniel grinned. "Luna." He said, as if that was a valid explanation. Maybe it was, wherever he was from.
Daphne hid a snigger, desperate to tell James and Sirius that 'Daniel' had learnt of the witch through the Weasley twins and their own map, just to see the looks on their faces.
They found another route out of the grounds and headed up the first mountain they saw. It was a long trek, and Daphne was freezing by the end. The three boys seemed totally unbothered by the cold, laughing and joking like they'd known each other all their lives. It was quite heart-warming. Daphne snapped a picture of them for Harry to add to his photo album when they got home.
"Right then, skis!" Harry said brightly, pulling four pairs of skis out of his bottomless bag. "I love Hermione's charm work; it makes carrying things so much easier."
"She a friend of yours, this Hermione?" Sirius asked mildly, obviously trying to fish for information.
"Yeah, she's wicked clever." Harry said distractedly, trying to figure out how to put the skis on.
"Probably a Ravenclaw then." Sirius said, and Daphne held her breath.
"No, Gryffindor actually." Daniel clammed up, meeting Daphne's panicked gaze.
"I knew it!" Sirius cried triumphantly. "You aren't transfers at all! What are you, spies? Time Travellers?"
Daniel grinned. "Can't tell you, sorry. It's sort of life or death." Sirius deflated. He was so close to knowing the truth!
"Who even cares where they're from anymore?" James added. "They're demented and I love them! Now let's go skiing!"
Three hours later, four extremely injured students were carted into the hospital wing, limbs askew and covered in bumps and bruises.
"What on Earth-" Madame Pomfrey gasped. "Mr Radcliffe, how did you get a ski lodged into your thigh?"
"It was actually rather easy." Daniel admitted. "And so worth it, Lily Evans owes me twenty galleons!"
"She doesn't. The bet was a successful ski, not a failed one where you wind up injured." Daphne smirked.
Daniel scowled. "That settles it, I'm never taking you anywhere with me again. To be fair, I would've brought Neville, but he would have said no. He doesn't need the closure anymore."
"Neville?" James asked curiously. "What closure? And what sort of name is that?"
"I don't know, I'm not the one who named him!" Daniel fired back. "You'd have to ask A- er, his parents?"
"I KNEW IT!" Sirius screeched, then winced when it jostled his six broken ribs. It was a miracle he was still conscious and hadn't punctured a lung. "You are time travellers! Past of future?"
"For the last time, Sirius, we are not time travellers!" Daphne exclaimed. "You're delusional, it's probably the pain."
"But you just said-"
"You know, Madame Pomfrey." Daniel said once he was comfortably settled into his own bed in the hospital wing. The others had long since fallen asleep. "It seems like James and Sirius make your job quite tricky."
"And now I have two more miscreants to make it even trickier." Madame Pomfrey chastised the teen. He just smiled charmingly back.
"Don't worry, we'll be out of hair your before long. Places to be and all that."
"Graduation is still almost an entire year away, Mr Radcliffe."
"You know, you could just threaten to quit unless you a get pay rise." Daniel suggested. "It would probably work, you definitely don't get paid enough. It seems like you very much get taken advantage of."
"I do, don't I?" She said tiredly. Daniel smiled sympathetically.
"Don't worry." He said. "You'll toughen up."
Madame Pomfrey was oddly reassured, even if she did feel slightly patronized and insulted. She wasn't that soft.
"Morning Daniel, Dap- James, did you see that?" Sirius grabbed James' arm, shaking it roughly.
"Did they just-" Remus frowned.
"Poof!" Luna said as she skipped past them.
They never saw the three Ravenclaw students again.
"This is so funny." Harry said, grinning. "Because we literally only went back in time yesterday. Technically, if you had worked out who we were from the nickname game back before fifth year, you would've been mad at us whilst we remained clueless!"
"Like some strange twist of Fate." Susan said knowingly. Luna smiled.
"I still want an explanation as to why you called Trelawney and Sinistra, what was it? Slime-buckets, niffler-loving liars, and hags." Daphne reminded him. Harry winced.
"Harry! That's very rude!" Hermione scolded. "And those are appalling insults, by the way."
"I know it was rude, but it was very deserved." Harry held his hands up in defence. "And they were very creative insults thank you very much. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and have some choice words with a certain hat."
Ron and Daphne blocked the door.
"Nope." Daphne said. "Sit down and spill your guts first. Then we'll go and destroy that piece of filth together!"
"I thought you loved Monty?" Neville asked incredulously. Harry and Daphne snarled.
"Not anymore." Harry said though gritted teeth.
"Well, pup!" Sirius said cheerfully. "You know where Monty is, don't you?"
Harry groaned. "Ravenclaw common room!" Sirius cackled.
"See you later kids. I'm pretty sure whatever Harry's annoyed with Sinistra and Trelawney about is something he doesn't want us to overhear. let's go, Moony!"
"Luna? Actually no, I'm not asking for permission. Those wicked old lemon-tarts deserve it." Harry nodded to himself. Luna just smiled. "I'll do the honours then, shall I Lady Time?"
"Lady what?" Ginny gasped. Harry ignored her and raised a brow at Luna.
"Can I?" He asked again. Luna nodded. "Awesome! So, it all started when when I was non-existent and Trelawney was a meddling fish-faced little -"
Harry: Sirius?
Sirius: Yes?
Harry: Don't you dare tell Snape I lost a bet against my mum.
Snape: (Slams door shut and points at Harry dramatically) AHA! Too late, Potter!
Harry:... Um, were you hiding behind that door the whole time?
Snape:.. Obviously.