~Content Warning - This chapter lightly brushes against:
- Dominance/submission dynamics
- Instinct-triggered responses
- Mild sexual innuendo (pillow princess)
Nyxara
So he hadn't forgotten about that. Feeling a bit embarrassed about my internal joke, I stall for a moment before blurting out, "As I get to know you, I see you as someone who is multifaceted. This thought reminded me of how in the movie Shrek said he was like an onion. He has many layers. So the image of you saying this as Shrek played in my head, making me laugh."
I kept my gaze on my soup, hoping I hadn't offended him. Just when the silence had gotten too much for me and I was about to apologize, he started chuckling. "I'm honored that you would compare me to the great one known as Shrek. I hope you continue to think so positively of me." He went back to eating his soup with a big smile. I followed suit with an equally big smile.
While we ate, he verbally gave me advice and corrections. Once we finished without prompting, Lima stepped forward, removing our bowls, but she did not place the next course before us like before. Instead, she stood waiting. Perplexed why she did not, I turned to Azrail to ask if this was part of the lesson. The moment we made eye contact, he released his aura. Resin, basil, and frankincense flooded my senses before I could think. My head dipped in submission, dazed.
"During the main course, palate cleanser, and dessert, we will train your tolerance to Alpha auras. Your goal is to not fall into submission while finishing each course with good manners. We will stop each time you fall under. Lima, place the dishes." The room was soon filled with the light scent of seafood and grain. The addition of spice and tea helped me slowly pull myself out of my daze. It was a struggle to stay lucid with the pressure surrounding me.
"This main course is one of my favorite fancy meals, and I wished to share it with you. This is seared riverfin over ember grain with a spiced petal reduction. It pairs well with both my red wine and your brewed black-tea infusion. The setting of it on these black, wide-rimmed dinner plates is a sign that it is something I picked especially for us. Always be aware of what dining ware is set before you, especially at official gatherings." He spoke and ate with the casual grace of a man who didn't care if the whole world watched. He chewed slowly, watching me try to not react to his aura.
"Unless told otherwise by us or you gain a good handle on Solhara politics, if you receive a plate of food that is different from what others are served and that plate isn't marked in red, black, or silver, you return it to the sender. Red is for your Nimra or Aspen. Black is for me or Lux. Silver is for your Korran or Keir. Your brothers will not typically send you food at a public event unless we are not present." Each time I started to fall into a daze, he would stop eating and pause in his lecture.
He would only continue the lesson when I pulled myself back to lucidity. When our dinner plates were taken away, I let out a sound of relief that the main course was over before I remembered Azrail said I had to make it through two more before he would relent. His amused stare was unrelenting as he sipped his wine.
Lima did not introduce the course, just placed a medium-sized rectangle slate plate with thin wafers with a cheese spread on them on the table between us before retreating. "This is crystallized herb wafers with melted mooncheese and fig essence. A palate cleanser before we have dessert. Mrs. June's version is one of the best I've ever had, so I'm pretty confident you will enjoy it."
He popped a wafer into his mouth, never taking his piercing gaze away from me. The pressure from his aura felt like it had lessened but was still very present, making me have to continue focusing on staying lucid, and displaying good manners.
"By the way, did you know you are twitching?" He asked nonchalantly. He popped another wafer in his mouth. "Your shoulders are tight and you are breathing too shallowly. Are you okay?"
"Not really, this feels like torture." I responded, then bit the wafer I was holding in half.
He leaned forward, voice calm, tone almost conspiratorial. "No. This is reality. Alphas naturally bleed dominance whether we mean to or not. The protector aspect of the aura is probably hitting the primal part of you that wants to feel safe pretty hard. Most of the time it's omegas who need the reassurance, but betas—and even other alphas—on occasion react similarly. Your rebirth has made you raw; resetting your resistance to such influence. With your resistance weak, your instincts have become loud."
I ate the other half of the wafer. "So how do I rebuild my resistance?"
He gave a careless shrug. "You work on your internal barrier to filter the essence aspect. You learn to breathe through the scent aspect until you can dismiss it as nothing more than perfume in the air." His grin widened, crooked and sharp. "Besides, if you can eat dinner with me pressuring you, most others will be easy."
Despite the stress of this situation, I laughed. "See? Already working." I shook my head, feeling that I was actually adjusting to the pressure of his aura and scent.
As we finished the wafers, Azrail gave me advice by way of stories of what to do and not do at social gatherings. Each story had a parable quality to it that kept our conversation going well into the dessert course. It wasn't until I was halfway through my bowl of soulroot crème with plum glaze and edible silver leaf that I realized I didn't feel Azrail's aura anymore.
"Did I regain my resistance that quickly?" I couldn't help being skeptical of such a thing. I was proved right to not believe I was that lucky. "No. I simply pulled my aura back in so you can relax and enjoy the rest of your dessert. Also, keeping you stressed would be counterproductive to learning anything else well this evening.
Your resistance has just begun to be rebuilt. We will continue exposing you until you can experience my aura without becoming influenced by it." At some point when I was distracted with resisting his aura and maintaining my good manners, he consumed two bowls of the crème and is on his third.
I pointed at his bowl with my spoon, raising my eyebrow in question, and he just cradled the bowl against his chest while sticking his tongue out. This man's persona switches are so random and smooth I don't know which version I'm dealing with until I'm in too deep. I scowl at him as I shove another spoonful of this delicious masterpiece into my mouth.
He simply grins before tossing out a random statement that made me blush. "This will definitely help you stay aware and not just be a pillow princess if you have sex with an alpha. We can't keep our aura in when we are getting intimate with someone we find attractive."
I will never admit to participating in a food fight with Azrail after he said that, but we did each have to wash up and change clothes before we moved on to the next part of our lesson.
This man truly is chaos incarnate.