Chapter 25 - CHAPTER 25: I Gotta Feed My Wolf!!

🦇 Lean's POV:

(a.k.a. "Operation: Feed My Emotional Support Werewolf")

Okay.

So. I stepped out of the house.

Puppers' not home.

Which means I might die. Wait am I not already dead by science? Never mind!

Get hit by a truck again. Be kidnapped by cults. Spontaneously combust from the lack of wolf grumbles in the air. Anything's possible, really.

But that's not the point.

The point is—Dominic's mom cut him off. She went full "K-drama villainess meets financial trauma," and now he has no money. Which means...

I must provide.

Yes.

He is my Dog now!

And I will feed my Dog.

cue anime dramatic wind blowing through my hair and oversized hoodie sleeves

"Momma, see!! Your little Lean is responsible now!"

I sniff dramatically. "I'm a big boy. A grown-up. I'm gonna—gonna earn money!!"

…Okay so how does the front door lock again?

stares at handle like it's a cryptic puzzle box

Right. Puppers has the main key. I'm taking the spare.

Grabs the one with the glitter skull keychain. Obviously.

I puff out my chest.

Cue internal pep talk

"Okay Lean, you've survived crackhead monster hunters, blood feasts, and three seasons of Vampire Diaries. You can survive a job interview."

Let's go, Lean.

Time to ace the world.

🐺 Dominic's POV

(a.k.a. "He Has My Phone and I'm Already Emotionally Dead")(scenes before he went to the pharmacy to get the stuffs)

Okay.

Okay okay okay.

Stay calm, Dominic.

You're on the field. Surrounded by humans. Be normal. Be chill. Play the game.

Ignore the bone-crushing dread in your chest.

Because HE. HAS. MY. PHONE.

Lean. The walking glitter bomb. The chaos gremlin. The vampire who once hacked the college server to give me an A+ because I was "too hot to fail."

And now he has access to—

Everything.

The gallery.

The playlist.

The Google search history.

The folder labeled: "If he ever kisses me, I will combust."

God, if you're up there—strike me down.

Or at least strike the Wi-Fi down. Please. Something. Anything.

"Quinn?" the coach calls. "Would you like to actually play the game, like you were doing an hour ago?"

I blink at the ball.

It's just gibberish.

I sit down.

Then lie back down.

"I'm fine," I lie.

"I'm just... experiencing emotional turbulence."

🦇 Lean's POV

(a.k.a. "Why Is Adulting a Horror Genre???")

Okay! So let's be honest!!!

I'm crying.

I'm fucking crying.

And just—some random street cats are trying to emotionally support me.

I mean it!! I talk cat too, okay?! And every "meow" does sound different!!

This job hunt is more unholy than that deer hunt we were forced into during Monster Summer Camp.

Humans are scarier than any ghost, demon, or vampire mafia boss.

Facts.

So. First, I went to a thrift store. Saw an ad. They were hiring.

I got hired.

And then kicked out.

In. Fifteen. Minutes.

My crime?

I was just... trying on everything there!!

Next: a bakery.

Okay! So! Yeah, you guys remember what happened last time I tried cooking for Puppers?

This was worse.

They called the fire brigade.

Not my fault!! They had snails crawling around the kitchen!! I told them—I'm cool with every animal except the slimy ones. The slimy ones freak me out!!

And I swear, the flamethrower—

WHY DO YOU HAVE A FLAMETHROWER IN A BAKERY??

I just wanted to scare the snail away!!

...And it turned into—

Ahem.

"HEY, KITTIES! DON'T LEAVE ME, I NEED MORE SUPPORT!!"

"Meow!! Meeeeow! Meooow, Meoooww, Mmeeoooww... Meeooww!"

Translation:

"Meow back there attacked by dogs. We go now. Must kick some doggy asses."

And just like that—the kitties are gone too.

Okay. Then I went to a kindergarten.

It was going well!

The kids liked me! I did bat impressions and everything!!

And then—some Karen started screaming that I was "spreading gayness" to her snotty, poopy gremlin of a child.

I got chased out. Again.

Then I went to a bookstore and got rejected because I was "too loud."

Excuse me for having a voice full of passion and sparkle, ma'am.

*(a.k.a. "Operation: Free the Fluff")*

Okay. So.

After I left the bookstore with my soul slightly crushed and my wallet fully empty

(okay it was Puppers' money—he gave me a home allowance, I'm his wife!! He doesn't know yet but I am),

I stumbled into a nearby pet shop.

You know. Just to vibe.

Not cry.

And the moment I stepped in, every animal went berserk.

Because. Ahem.

Vampires can talk to animals.

Yeah. We're basically Disney princesses with a drinking problem. (And yes, I'm cute too. Obviously.)

But instead of bursting into song, I froze.

Because—oh my devils—all the little voices hit me at once.

"Please help me!"

"Take me home!"

"I miss my forest!"

"I wanna swim in a real pond again!"

"I wanna fly! I WANNA FLY!!"

It was like walking into a prison made of heartbreak.

And as someone who's part bat—aka born to fly—it shattered me inside.

I know what it feels like to be caged.

So...

I did what any dramatic, glitter-cloaked, emotionally unstable vampire would do.

I freed them.

With my light-speed.

Cages flung open like popcorn in a microwave.

Birds soared out the windows, chirping thank-yous.

Snakes slithered into the woods.

Lizards scrambled into alleyways.

Insects fluttered away like sparkly confetti.

BUNNIES—yes, BUNNIES—hopped off with their floppy little ears bouncing like anime joy.

(I didn't touch the dogs or kitties—they usually find good homes.

And the fish? What do I do—yeet them into a puddle? No. I have standards.)

One tiny tarantula climbed up my sleeve, pressed its eight fuzzy legs to my cheek… and gave me a kiss.

I may have cried.

BUT THEN—

The shop owners returned from lunch.

They screamed:

"MONSTER!!!"

Which is... fair.

I am a monster.

If they wanted to insult me, "taxpayer" would've hurt more.

And THEN—(oh my glitter)—they pulled out AXES and GUNS and started chasing me.

Joined by like twenty other furious humans.

Over bunnies.

Okay.

I was almost toast.

Until—

THE KITTY SQUAD INTERVENED.

All the shop cats I left behind?

PLUS the local Stray Cat Squad?

They rose like avenging fluff demons.

Clawed at pant legs.

Knocked over shelves.

Created maximum chaos like fuzzy little anarchists.

I escaped through the backdoor in the confusion, clutching my hoodie, my pride, and—surprise—a tiny rat who stowed away in my hoodie.

I named him Sir Squeak-a-Lot.

And the kitties?

THEY escorted me to the park like royalty.

Sir Squeak-a-Lot gave me one last kiss, then scampered away into the bushes like a tiny legend.

Operation: Free the Fluff = SUCCESS.

After all failed attempts, two verbal threats, and approximately thirty people chasing me down the street—

"MOMMA, I'M SCARED!! WAAAAAAAHHH!!"

*cue vampire cries and dramatic black tears*

So now I'm hiding.

In a 90s-style children's park.

Like a raccoon.

Covered in fur and feathers.

Getting emotional support from stray cats, who helped me escape the angry mob.

Ok Why now are some ladies with kids calling me a freak now??

PUPPPPPEEEERRRSSSS!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!

🐺 Dominic's POV:

Ouch!! I bite my tongue.

Someone must be thinking about me.

Maybe Mom. Probably cursing me as part of her daily schedule.

...Or.

Or maybe it's that blood pooch I left behind at home.

Like, "Puppers I'm dying from lack of hugs and cuddles! Where are you! Come back!!"

Ugh. Such a big baby.

...Okay why the hell am I blushing???

🦇 Lean's POV:

Okay. So.

Some angry moms just chased me out of the park.

Apparently hiding in a children's park bush while sobbing in glitter and black tears screams "pedo" to them.

LIKE—WHAT???

Okay. That broke me. That broke me.

I kicked a random stone in rage.

It hit a raccoon.

The raccoon bit me.

HECK YOU, RACCOON!!!

I'm the vampire here—you can't give me rabies!!

(...Never mind. I spent twenty minutes teaching him manners and gave him a cookie I had from the bakery. We cool now.)

BUT SERIOUSLY.

Me?? A pedo??

I love kids!!

I'm a monster, not an animal!! And seriously animals are better than that shit too. What kind of brainworm logic even—??

Okay sure, I'm dramatic, over-the-top, and possibly the main reason Dominic has trust issues.

But a freak like that? NO.

What happened to this world??

Grandma was right! The real under the bed humans kidnapping naughty monster kids who refuse to brush their fangs and sass their moms!

Like, really??? Kids??? Dude.

To the moms: You slay, ladies 💅. I'm not even mad. You were just protecting your kids.

But humanity?? Y'all are looking more and more like Lord Lucifer's little soldiers lately.

Pretty sure the Big G (God) is losing the custody battle.

...And I guess I am supposed to be on King Luci's side. I am a monster, after all.

AGH!! It's so difficult!!

Why can't I just be the spooky, sinful villain I'm supposed to be?!

...

Okay hey, squirrel. You're chonkey.

You want a nut?

🐺 Dominic's POV

(a.k.a. "I'm Not Guilty, You're Guilty, Shut Up")

Agh. Okay. I'm going.

I'm actually doing this.

Hookup. With Bailey.

Got the condoms.

Like—a lot of them.

The medical shop owner looked at me like I was planning a whole... festival.

I don't care. I want this. It's been a long time.

…Then why the hell does it feel wrong?

It's not like I'm cheating or something. That guy—the vampire—he's just my roommate.

A clingy, sparkly, drama-filled roommate who gives the most suffocating hugs known to man.

Still.

Something about walking away from him feels—

…Ugh. No. Not thinking about it.

Ooh. Bakery.

They have cinnamon rolls.

He loves cinnamon rolls.

He smells like cinnamon rolls.

Damn it.

Okay. Fine. I'll get him some.

Extra fluffy ones. With that gooey sugar topping.

Maybe if I feed him enough sugar, the guilt will go away.

…Stupid vampire!!

..My vampire!

🦇 Lean's POV

(a.k.a. "Squirrels, Sadness, and Sudden Salvation")

Okay. So it was a trap.

I had a tiny packet of peanuts in my pocket—thought I'd be a good soul (ok I don't have a soul) and give one to my new squirrel friend.

But the moment I opened it—A HUNDRED SQUIRRELS DESCENDED FROM THE TREES LIKE FURRY DEMONS.

They stole the whole packet.

I just stood there. Helpless. Peanut-less.

No wonder dogs hate them.

Huffing, I collapse onto a roadside bench like a tragic prince banished from his glitter kingdom.

Lost.

Tired.

Hungry.

Hopeless.

"...I'm sorry, Puppers. I'm dumb. I can't even find a job."

My voice cracks. The shame tastes like burnt garlic.

"Momma was right. I'm still a baby…"

And okay. Fine. I am.

But it's hard being a baby when even the universe feels like it's ghosting you.

Humans can pray to Big G.

But us monsters? We don't get prayer lines. Just judgment.

And Lord Luci? His rituals are so long and boring. Like bro, I love you, but I'm not lighting thirteen black candles under a blood moon in reverse order, with three serial killer skulls while chanting your Latin username. No.

I sigh dramatically into the void.

And then— WHAP!

"WAHHH—WHAT THE HEAVEN—?!"

Something slaps my face. A paper. Outta nowhere.

I peel it off and read—

"ALPHA ELECTRONICS!

We repair phones, laptops, PCs, tablets, XBoxes, refrigerators, and more!

We are hiring! Daily pay based on work hours, performance, and customer reviews!"

...

...

OH MY BIG G and DEVILS!!! (OK I AM SECULAR)

IS—IS THIS A MIRACLE??? THE TABOO THING IN MONSTER CULTURE?

Did Big G just—acknowledge me?!

Or is this some morally ambiguous side quest from the Devil himself??

WHO CARES!!

I can fix electronics! I'm a beast at it! I once fixed a possessed smart fridge during a blood moon!

THIS. IS. MY. CHANCE!!!

I grab the flyer and sprint like I'm in a horror movie final act.

"THANK YOU!!" I scream at the sky.

"And hey—I know You can read minds. I'm not dissing King Luci! Please don't cancel me!! Or dip me in holy water"

I trip over a soda can, cuss, and keep running.

Let's gooooooo!!!