We start walking again, and I'm immediately aware of how many eyes are still tracking us through the hallway. Multiple people are staring, whispering to their friends, and I'm pretty sure someone just took a picture of us.
Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn to see a laid-back looking guy with glasses. He's got this easygoing vibe that immediately puts me at ease, like he's perpetually one joint away from achieving enlightenment but is too chill to actually care about it.
"Yo, Adam, right?" He's grinning. "That was badass, dude. Fuck that guy."
He holds out his fist for a bump, and I tap my knuckles against his, chuckling despite myself. The validation feels good, even if it's coming from someone whose name I don't actually know.
"Thanks, man."
"For sure. See you around." He's already backing away, disappearing into the stream of students like he was never there.
I turn back to look at Selene, ready to make some quippy comment about my newfound reputation as a defender of justice, but the words die in my throat.
Uh oh.
She doesn't look happy. I might go as far as to say she looks upset. Her arms are crossed, and she's staring at me with this expression that's somewhere between worried and annoyed, her lips pressed into a pout that would be cute if it wasn't directed at me with what feels like accusatory energy.
Before I can say anything, she grabs my arm and starts pulling me in the opposite direction of my next class.
"Uh, Selene? Where are we—"
"Library. Now." Her voice is clipped, which is wrong on multiple levels because Selene doesn't do clipped. Selene does exclamation marks and enthusiasm.
When we get there, the entire room is mercifully empty except for the librarian, who's engrossed in her computer screen and couldn't care less about two students skipping class. We wander through the bookshelves, heading to a private corner tucked between the labyrinthian rows. It's the kind of spot that probably sees a lot of couples making out when the librarian isn't looking. The thought makes my face warm.
When she's satisfied we're alone, she whirls around to face me, her pink hair swishing with the movement.
"Adam Gray!" She's whisper-yelling, which is somehow more intimidating than if she were actually yelling. "What were you thinking back there?!"
"I was thinking that guy was being an asshole?"
"He was like—" She gestures wildly with her hands, trying to indicate height. "He was SO much bigger than you! What if he actually hit you?!"
"Then I would've hit him back."
"Adam!" Her whisper gets louder, and she grabs both of my hands, her fingers wrapping around mine with desperate intensity. Her palms are warm and slightly sweaty, and I can feel them trembling. "This isn't funny! You could've gotten really hurt! Do you know how scary that was?!"
Looking at her now, I realize she's not just annoyed. She's genuinely scared. Her hands are trembling slightly where they grip mine, and her eyes are shinier than usual, like she's fighting back tears.
Oh.
My defensive sarcasm evaporates. "Hey... Selene, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"You..." She takes a shaky breath, and her thumbs start rubbing circles on the back of my hands, the touch gentle and unconscious, sending little tingles up my arms. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it. "You can't just do stuff like that, okay? What if something happened to you?"
"Nothing was going to happen."
"You don't know that!" Her voice cracks slightly, and I can hear the genuine fear in it. "We could've just walked away. We should've just walked away."
I look up at her and something in my chest tightens. She's looking at me like I'm something fragile, something that might break. And I suddenly understand why this bothered her so much.
"Selene." I squeeze her hands back. "I know you're worried. And I get it. If we'd actually fought, I probably would've lost. But I couldn't just let him say that stuff to you."
"I'm used to it," she says quietly, looking away. Her voice drops so low I have to strain to hear it. "Guys say things like that all the time. It's whatever."
"It's not whatever." The words come out sharper than I intended, and she looks back at me, surprised. "It's not okay that you have to deal with that. And I don't want you to be used to it."
"Adam..."
"I'm serious. You shouldn't have to just... accept that kind of treatment. Someone needs to stand up for you."
"I can stand up for myself," she says, but her voice is soft, lacking its usual conviction.
"I know you can. But you shouldn't always have to." I take a breath. "Look, I know I'm not big or intimidating or anything. But I'm not going to just stand there when someone disrespects you like that. I can't."
Her blush is back, spreading across her cheeks like watercolor on paper, turning her ivory skin a delicate pink that matches her hair. "You're such a dummy," she whispers, but she's smiling now, and I can hear the warmth returning to her voice. "Getting so protective over me..."
"Yeah, well." I can feel my own face heating up. "Someone's gotta look out for you. Even if that someone is, like, half a foot shorter than you."
She laughs at that, a soft, breathy sound that makes my heart do weird things. Her fingers are still tracing patterns on my hands, and we're standing close enough that I can smell her perfume, that strawberry scent that fits her perfectly.
"Your eyes are really pretty," she says suddenly, her voice barely above a whisper.
The sudden change in topic gives me whiplash. "What?"
"Your eyes. They're like... really pretty, Adam. I don't think I've ever told you that."
I chuckle, trying to ignore how fast my heart is beating. "Have you looked in a mirror? I could stare at yours all day."
She makes this happy humming sound, and her smile gets wider.
And then, somehow, we're even closer than before. I don't know which of us moved first. Maybe both of us. But now I'm acutely aware of how little space exists between us, how her hands are still holding mine, how her face is right there.
My eyes drop to her lips. Those soft, pink, plump lips that have haunted my dreams countless times over the past few years. When I look back up, I catch her staring at my mouth too. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, a quick, unconscious gesture that makes my brain short-circuit for a moment.
"You're beautiful, Selene."
Oh shit.
The words escape before I can stop them, and I watch her freeze. Her hands tense around mine, her grip tightening almost painfully for a second before relaxing. Her eyes snap back to mine, wide and searching, and there's something intense in her expression that I can't quite read.
"What do you mean by that?" Her voice is different now: quieter, more vulnerable. Almost shy.
My brain immediately goes into panic mode. What do I mean by that? I mean I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and I've been in love with you for years and I want to kiss you right now and—
"Adam?" There's something teasing in her tone now, but also something hopeful, expectant.
"I mean... you know. You're pretty. You're a really pretty person. Obviously." I'm rambling. I can hear myself rambling and I can't stop. "Like, I've always thought you were pretty. You know that. I tell you that all the time, so..."
I trail off, and I watch her expression fall. The hope in her eyes dims.
"Oh." She smiles, but it looks forced. "Thanks. You're... you're pretty too, Adam."
Fuck. What am I doing?
Then the bell rings, shattering whatever moment we were having like someone threw a brick through a window. The sound is harsh and jarring in the quiet library.
"Oh no!" She immediately brightens, or at least does a good impression of brightening, slipping back into her usual energetic persona. "We're so late! Come on, we gotta go!" She grabs my hand and starts pulling me toward the exit.
No.
Fuck this.
Absolutely not. I'm not doing this.
I tug back on her hand, pulling her to a stop.
She turns, confused. "Adam? We're gonna get in trouble—"
"Hold on. Just... give me a second."
"But—"
"Selene. I'm going to pick you up now."
"...What?"
I'm already moving, crouching down and sliding my left arm under her knees while my right arm supports her back. Then I push up with my legs, and suddenly I'm holding her in my arms, princess-style.
Thank you, System, for making me strong enough to actually pull this off.
She's lighter than I expected, or maybe I'm just stronger than I thought. But more importantly, she's soft, impossibly soft. I can feel the curve of her body against my chest, can feel her warmth seeping through my clothes.
"Adam?!" Her face is bright red, her hands clutched against her chest. "What are you doing?!"
"I'll put you down in a minute." I adjust my grip, making sure I have her securely. "I need to tell you something first."
"You can tell me while I'm on the ground!"
"I can, but I'm not going to." I look down at her, and she's staring back at me with those wide pink eyes, her expression somewhere between flustered and curious. This close, I can see the individual lashes framing her eyes, can see the tiny flecks of lighter pink in her irises. "Selene, you're beautiful. Like, genuinely beautiful. Your eyes, your smile, your hair, all of it. You're perfect. Like, I don't understand how you're even real."
"Adam..." Her voice is soft, uncertain.
"And it's not just how you look. You're funny and kind and energetic and you make everything more fun just by being there." I take a breath. My throat is getting tight, and I can hear my voice getting rougher, more emotional. "I can't imagine my life without you in it."
"Where are you going with this?" she whispers, but there's something in her expression now, that hope is back, brighter than before.
Fuck it. All in.
"I love you, Selene." The words come out clear. "I've loved you for so long I can't even remember when it started. So... would you go out with me?"