Bodies are strewn about. Tall bodies, short bodies; old bodies, young bodies; fat bodies, thin bodies. Within this area, neither my ordinary senses nor those granted by the Thassular relic allow me to see the Eidolon responsible for this. I fear it might be an Eidolon equipment from the countless held by the people here. Given it is immobile, it does apply. Everyone around me is human, right? The corruption makes some look less human, but I can still tell. At the back of my mind, Ferrous Sovereign is nagging me. That Eidolon, too, was human in appearance. One was able to easily tell from its use of magnetism that it was very likely Eidolon.
I do not get much time to think about it before my vision already starts to swim. A moment later, my legs fail me.
As if the events happened without interlude, I already am awake and standing, now in a place alien to the ideas of my world.
I am in a blue waxen outfit. Neither solid nor liquid, It deforms in a way akin to soft plastic, and it slowly drips onto the verdant earth. Lush, green rolling fields surround me, soft at my feet that remain bare, bereft of the wax. Among the grass are seas of tulips, lilacs, lilies, peonies, lavender, and roses, with more unidentifiable groups of flowers beyond them.
Trees arise from the earth. Weeping cherry, jacaranda, wisteria, maple, aspen, willow, and many other types of trees, each beautiful in their own regard. They too are spread into groups and don't intermingle.
Atop a hill sits a young woman, looking towards me. Even though she looks ordinary, she feels very alien. Given there is nothing else to be found around me, I approach the figure.
"Are you the Eidolon responsible for this?"
"Yes. It's beautiful, right?"
I look around again, taking my time to take in the sounds of nature. Now I can also make out various animals further away. Bunnies, deer, finches, cats, and likely more. Each of them living in harmony without any desire for anything. They just live in the moment, enjoying their lives.
"It… it is surreal. I won't deny its beauty."
"Yet you still doubt me?"
I look back at her.
"This feels wrong. It is just escapism."
"That may be, but isn't it better this way? If there were to be an almighty and all-generous being that created this world, then it would have done so without suffering, without need, and without sin. This is a better world. All of you have suffered so much, so take this blessing as your reward."
"A reward, huh? You are making people a shadow of who they were. What meaning is there behind growth, and what reason is there to be good if choices are meaningless and if punishment and struggle do not exist? Humanity would grow even more sinful."
"You would have reason to believe that, but I have already saved people. Some resist at first, but by the end of it, they lose the venom inside of them. What would one as you describe hope to exploit? To gain? Everything is already as they would want. There is no need to overindulge when you have all of infinity at your behest."
"So you create a world free of sin?"
"To an extent, yes. There is no hunger, no death, no time, and no illness. And this place is to remain eternal, for I myself am an immortal being."
"That would just be rotting away slowly. Without conflict there is no growth. Without risk there is no need for showing courage, and without pain there would be no triumph or achievement. These sins can only be avoided if they exist. If you try to forcefully remove them, it just results in sloth. How can you hope that it would evolve this way?"
"I do not overwrite identities. The environment just breeds a desired behavior. A behavior that leads to virtue. I mentioned that some people attempt to resist, which is often the cause of wrath. I don't remove sin."
"This isn't a solution. This won't lead to any major change. You are just trapping people in a velvet cage."
"Would I be an Eidolon then?"
She looks down for a moment, breathes deeply, then continues.
"I tried, but without influence I have no chance at governmental change. And the people… they are too corrupted by sin. Few people with strong wills remain. You are one of them, but for how much longer can you keep smiling?"
"As long as I breathe, I must move forward. And you don't give people a choice. You don't let them leave. If they really needed you, then they would seek you out."
"People are stubborn. They can't admit their flaws. None of them want to say how much they really want to leave their life behind and join here. Everyone believes the same as you do. That suffering is necessary. That we need to starve and cry. But then why is it not fair? Why isn't the world at least equal? Some people are born with disabilities, and some are born into a poor social status. Would you say that that pain is also necessary?"
"If the challenges in life could be understood and defined clearly, if a solution to all struggles existed, then struggle loses its inherent meaning. It would then be inconvenient at best."
She acknowledges my response and gazes into the far distance.
"You speak nobly. Still, do you wish to return to your world? Just the world, mind you. I will exclude your friends and family, because they can be here too. So, under that presumption, would you still want to voluntarily suffer?"
I am slightly confused by that question. She is talking to me now, not about a deep philosophical maxim. Whilst I ponder my answer, she follows up.
"Your hazy mind is clear here. You've likely already noticed that you can recall what was lost to Lethe. You know exactly who you would forget if you were to leave this place. Do you want to forget them?"
My hands quiver slightly, and I catch myself biting my lip. I don't think I have the strength to admit it. Elly, Nova, and Case. How could I forget about you in the first place? Slowly I fall to my knees, defeated. Tears stream onto the grass, which maintains its cheerful green hue. I can't bring myself to look her in the eyes. I was also someone that thought they would stand on a higher moral ground, but at the end of the day, I don't live in a utopia; I live in Iphte-houp. This paradise was born from the hatred of this city. I still stand with my own belief, but my heart won't allow me to follow through with it.
There isn't any way I can speak truthfully when I wish to admit that I want to return to my previous life. To my 72-hour weeks at the factory. To a life where I don't even have a single Phalite in a month to spend on everyday luxuries like clothes, dining out, furniture, repairs, or whatever else. Return to a life where I hunt Eidolon at the cost of my life and soul, just so I may live a middle-class lifestyle. Every day I fight with sore muscles, open wounds, and with the knowledge that I have dug myself even further into a hole.
In truth, I don't want to die. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I also don't want to juggle a web of desires and intrigues for whenever I need 'help.' In truth, I need help. Help in a way that nobody can provide. Often I lie alone in bed, unable to sleep due to the smell, the hunger, the thirst, and the noise. Other times it is only through tears that I find slumber. And I've tried to give it my best shot, I really did, but I'm sorry if I disappointed you. There was no way I would ever have been prepared for this world. A world of pretenders. Why must we all hide?
This Eidolon. It… no, it isn't. It is… not. It... *sigh* … It is the help I had always been looking for. A sweet embrace telling me that everything will be alright, except that this time it isn't just hollow words spoken by a girlfriend who suffers the same number of wounds you do. The only person that should understand you, but even they cannot save you from the darkness of this world.
But this Eidolon can do it. It can save me from having to survive all the time. I don't want to be saved by it. It is wrong. My mind is telling me to fight back and not even consider it, but my heart. A heart dragged through the mud and back, standing on stilts after having been battered and bruised. That heart pleads with me.
"I don't believe I have to tell you this, Nathan, but there is no exit."
"I see…"
"Talking has been nice, but I think it is time for you to get settled in."
She starts to get up and walk away, but as she looks back at me over her shoulder, she has a puzzled expression on her face. This would be the first time her expression shifted more than a tiny amount.
"Have you always had blue eyes?"
"My eyes have always been green. What are you… oh…"
"Yes, it is about as you feared, but it should still not occur. Not within my realm."
"So it is corruption?"
"Yes, and a wide assortment at that. Most prominent is gluttony. You know what natural corruption is, yes?"
"I do."
"Well, you've just had an outburst of natural corruption, and had I not made this domain the way I did, you would have also invited plenty of corruption from your Eidolon. Hmm, I think I should explain this better."
She sits down again, looking at me again with that warm, sickening smile.
"Corruption is most often manifested due to the negligent use of Eidolon, or a failure to resist temptations, or through other factors, all of which center around Eidolon. As long as one is around Eidolon, whether the monster or equipment type, they cannot avoid the potential risk of corruption."
"That much is basic knowledge."
"I might as well begin from the start. Natural Corruption is what initially led to the first Eidolon coming to be. It is an exceedingly rare condition brought upon by exceptionally cruel environments and loss of control. It has become quite a lot more common, with about 1 in 20000 reported cases of the corruption being caused naturally. Well, allegedly. In this case there often is a kaleidoscope of sin being manifested in the throes of psychosis or similar."
"Yes, and as you already mentioned, I just underwent something like this, so?"
"I'll get to it. Corruption is portrayed as occurring in percentages. Only at about 20% to 30% can someone usually spot the physical changes caused by it. Now, my realm here has certain preventative measures to it. First is the obvious absence of Eidolon. Second is that your mental self, or ego, is separate from your bodily self. This isn't usually the case, since I should only have domain over dreams, but I have figured out how to separate the ego from the self in a way. Third is that this place is made to be positive. Lastly, said 'positive vibes' are assisted by a supernatural presence that suppresses anything related to sin to an extent. That being corruption, sinful behavior, and the Miasma."
"So then how did I manage to bypass it?"
"No idea. Well, I do have theories, but those I am not willing to share with you. At the end of the day it shouldn't affect your actual body, but make sure to be a little more careful with your thoughts."
"If you know so much, then I might as well ask you something. What do you know about the growing polarity of corruption?"
"Ah, now I see why you've always had the sin of greed. I do not really feel very persuaded by you, but I may as well share the little I know."
"Oh wait, really?"
"Yes. See it as a favor for helping me figure out a flaw in my domain's design. The phenomenon you describe is a deviation from what was thought to remain. In the past, almost everyone was just a little bit corrupted by sin, even those of high religious positions swearing by virtue. Nowadays far more people have absolutely zero corruption on them, whilst the rest have very noticeable cases. Only very few people are seen with only a few percent. What I have found out is that it seems to be genetic in nature."
I look at her, surprised. I would not have believed it to be related to biology when the corruption is seen as very much supernatural. Actually, there have been attempts at scientifically analyzing sin, such as the study of parapsychology, but so far nothing much could be linked to already known science. The most basic laws of physics were broken by them, like relativity or that nothing can be created or destroyed. In the scientific community, this study has been seen somewhat like quantum physics. It may be studied by its own set of rules, but we haven't been able to attach it to the rest of science.
"If we imagine the change caused by corruption to act like a sort of cancerous growth, which, instead of just growing itself, metamorphoses surrounding cells into a different form, also addling the mind, then we can see this phenomenon as an evolutionary response by the body to counteract this change. Our bodies have already started to adapt to this force trying to invade us. The reason it happened so fast, as opposed to over millions of years, is due to it being tied to a long line of mutation, not really the evolution we are used to. That, and the fact that people below 80% corruption are still very likely to be able to reproduce, which introduces resistances into the gene pool."
"Okay, wow. And you said you only knew a little?"
"Well, what I just told you was a metaphor of what is actually occurring. I actually only know very little about it. Anyhow, the result of it is that some people are able to fend off low percentages of attempted sin corruption, but once the body is overwhelmed, the change happens all at once. It is a sort of double-edged sword. Arguably it just makes happenings worse, but once our bodies can resist large amounts of corruption, then it could be beneficial. The Miasma would still be an issue then, though."
"The Miasma, huh?"
"Yup. I suppose you wouldn't know much about it, but such rudimentary things are really below me at this point. Since you won't escape anyway, there really isn't any reason you should know. You're safe here. Oh, actually, the theory I told you has been made into a set of precepts for an odd group of individuals."
"An 'odd group' of individuals? Is it like mad scientists trying to mess around with genetic engineering?"
"Oh no, it's a sex cult."
A what? She is somehow able to keep a straight face whilst saying that. Meanwhile, I am here, flabbergasted.
"Come on, don't be so rattled about it. Was it really not that obvious?"
"Now that you say it, it does make a lot of sense, but that still doesn't make it any less surprising to hear from the mouth of a young woman."
"See things on the bright side. They at least understand the concept of giving consent. And so far the age of consent has also been adhered to, as far as I know at least."
"And you're interested in this why?"
"Oh, it gets boring from time to time, so something as novel as this does help."
"Could it be that you are a lust Eidolon?"
"You finally figured it out? Ah, jokes aside, I am indeed of Luxuria in your classification, but it isn't due to anything sexual. I had other desires. I feel like I've forgotten something. Oh, I wanted to leave, didn't I? How clumsy of me."
"So you will leave me here now until the end of time?"
"Sort of. In your eyes it will look like I am leaving, but you are the one that disappears from this place to enter your own dreamscape. I might visit from time to time, since you are better company than I first assumed."
She waves at me and then walks away, but this time doesn't look back or stop. Eventually she fades into light. The scene around me becomes brighter and brighter until all I can see is white. After about a minute of what felt like the deepest meditation I ever had, I am staring at a familiar ceiling.
I look around to confirm my suspicion, and yes, I can remember where this is. A dull concrete room with a frayed second-hand rug, two ramshackle beds, a dresser, a closet, and even a stack of three cardboard boxes with basic toys. Wooden building blocks, dolls, make-believe equipment, and even a small toolkit with gears from the gamma echelon zone. One of these boxes was used as a nightstand for my bed, and a few books rested atop it.
The bed opposite to mine was dusted over, and a small bundle of withered patchouli lay atop it. We were lucky at the time to get these spare blooms from a natural oil salesman.
Yes, this was my room back when I lived with my parents. Looking at myself, I still look the same age, but I wear my favorite shirt back from when I was a child. I look back over at the other bed, but now the flowers and dust are gone. Some of the other things in the room changed. Almost as if…
Knock, knock.
"Come in." I was barely able to speak with the emotions coursing through me.
Entering the room was a woman two years older than me. She had long and soft blonde hair, braided together. She had a green eye, the other of which was covered by a beige cloth bandanna due to her eye infection taking the other. Her skin was pale and her lips were dry because we could only afford enough water and food to just barely get by. Her fingers had some scars and band-aids because of her job as a cooking aid at a restaurant, where she had always been forced to do nothing but wash dishes and cut things. She had always been rushed, resulting in many injuries. She also wore her only dress, which happened to be a faintly lavender plain dress. In addition to it, she also had worn her best shoes, which were some beige high heels.
I couldn't believe my eyes. Even though I had just let my emotions spill forth, I could not still my heart of bittersweet reunion. I walk up to her slowly. Her rare smile turned into an expression of confusion and hesitant worry. Once I had reached her, I took her into an embrace so feather-light, it was as if I was trying to grasp a ghost.
"Amy… I'm so… so sorry…"
My sister… Amelia was her full name, but I had always called her Amy, which was something that not even her friends had the right to. She had just gotten a new job in the gamma echelon zone and rushed to leave, but we were never able to see each other again. On her way home, she had… come into contact with an Eidolon. Superbia-09-6-082, aka Agonized Architect. Back then it was a Rank 3, because it had just awakened, and not many Eidolon Hunters were interested, especially because it was just another one in the delta echelon zone. I do not even want to recall what it did to my dearest sister.
"Everything is alright; I'm here for you. You don't have to be sad."
"I… never was able to apologize."
"Apologize?"
"Yes… to you."
"For what? Hey, you don't have to apologize to me for anything, okay? I'm here for you."
The worst part about it was that I had started a fight with her. I didn't want her to go to the gamma echelon zone. People there would discriminate against her. She would leave us all behind for very long periods of time, so I would have to help out more than I already did. And she wouldn't be able to protect me from those that sought to hurt me at work.
Still, it was wrong of me to get mad at her. I knew that she was doing it for the money. With it, we would be able to finally dine properly and afford actual clothing. Maybe even some new furniture once I also would've a better job.
I immediately felt sorry once she had actually left for work. I wanted to chase after her to tell her how sorry I was, but I didn't want her to be late because of me. Besides, I would be able to tell her later, is what I thought.
The final words I had told her were that I wished to replace her with someone that actually understood me. What the fuck did I even think? That was horrible. In a cruel twist of fate, I got what I wished for. I don't know what monkey's paw was listening in, but I regret everything I did that day. After her 'death,' I would sink into a depressive phase. That is when I often went outside to vent. It was when I started with the habit of visiting parks. It was there where I met Elly.
"Amy, I love you. I always did."
"What brought that on? I know that you love me, and you should know that I love you dearly too. I'll always be there for you, no matter what."
These words being said by a figment of imagination hurt. In the real world she cannot be there for me anymore. I honestly imagine that her desire to see me unharmed would have her somehow re-emerge from hell itself. I guess she wouldn't even be there, since she is still alive. But what is a life not worth living? In all honesty, I would want nothing more than to go and kill that motherfucking piece of shit Eidolon, but it has been escalated to Rank 6 for good reason. I'm just too weak.
"I know, which is why I am so sorry. I wish I was stronger; I really do."
"I admire that, but you don't have to worry about me."
Then again, talking to this perfect imitation gives me closure. It allows me to say what I really wanted my last words to be to her. I know that she isn't dead, but in her state I doubt that she even is capable of thinking. I should stop thinking of reality.
Maybe indulging in this fantasy isn't so bad. Here, at least, I won't be judged.
Nathan_V: I am about to do something borderline insane. That is, engaging an Eidolon in the Rose District near the Phalion Estate.
CozyKoalas: Please do not. You will regret it if you don't come back alive.
Nathan_V: So, in case I'm not back in two days, could you come and make sure that I don't sleepwalk over and die?
CozyKoalas: Nathan, don't
CozyKoalas: Tell me that you didn't
CozyKoalas: Nathan?
CozyKoalas: You there?
Nathan_V missed a call
Nathan_V missed a call
Nathan_V missed a call
CozyKoalas: For fuck's sake. Nathan
CozyKoalas: You are an idiot, you know that?
Nathan_V: Hey Lis, I just want to tell you that I am currently in the Rose District near the Phalion estate, about to engage an Eidolon that has yet to be registered. In case I don't message you in the following two days, I'd appreciate it if you came to save me on the third.
Blue_Cupcake: sure
CozyKoalas created a group
CozyKoalas invited Blue_Cupcake and BS4
CozyKoalas: Revenant, you were with Nathan
CozyKoalas: What is he up to?
BS4: Why?
BS4: I split off from him after buying some Sin Equip
CozyKoalas: Why is he at the Rose District then?
BS4: Fuck
Blue_Cupcake: He told me that he is about to fight some unregistered Eidolon
Blue_Cupcake: Seems tough, but I trust him
BS4: He's doing it to get to know about the Miasma
CozyKoalas: That's stupid.
BS4: Yes
BS4: I thought he would only observe from a distance
Blue_Cupcake: When I first met him, he looked through some notes relating to it
Blue_Cupcake: Phalion Estate, that is
CozyKoalas: Wait a moment
Blue_Cupcake: I believe Nathan wouldn't be gullible enough to take Invidia-09-5-042
Blue_Cupcake: Then again, he was very confident about his timing
CozyKoalas: …
BS4: I'm busy
BS4: Lis, don't you want to protect your source?
Blue_Cupcake: duh
CozyKoalas: You know what?
CozyKoalas: I'll join you
Blue_Cupcake: I was already around the corner
Blue_Cupcake: I might need your resurrection
CozyKoalas: Don't tell me
BS4: I'll leave it to you then
Blue_Cupcake: Not certain yet.
BS4 left the group
Blue_Cupcake: There's just some higher Link dude at the estate
CozyKoalas: What?
Blue_Cupcake: I think that's Ira-09-7-013
Blue_Cupcake: Mikazuki Munechika
Blue_Cupcake: Could be off though
CozyKoalas: Rank 7?
CozyKoalas: Curse you, Nathan
Blue_Cupcake: Well, Nathan shouldn't be anywhere near here according to him
CozyKoalas: True
Blue_Cupcake: Oh, I just found him
Blue_Cupcake uploaded Picture-17-11-0179b
CozyKoalas: HOW MANY CORPSES
Blue_Cupcake: They seem to be just sleeping
CozyKoalas: I'm not a kid
Blue_Cupcake: I'm not lying.
Blue_Cupcake: I'll see what I can do
Blue_Cupcake: You come here on your own time
CozyKoalas sent a sticker
Blue_Cupcake left the group
"Keep your memories close."
In the vanity mirror on the dresser I was able to see the other me from the 'Mirror of a better World.' I suppose it was attempting to inform me that I might suffer from Lethe. Now I see why. Eventually I do want to leave this area, and I will, because of Lady Valentine.
Since I do have that guarantee, I might as well enjoy my time here, right? Once I leave, I'll forget all of them again. Linda, Herbert, Elly, Nova, Case, and also Amy.
All of them will be forgotten again.
I don't want that to happen.
…
Wait. I have an idea. This world projects the dreams of those within it perfectly, given it isn't associated with anything negative. So then, what if I were to attempt to abuse this power for prescience? Actually, who said anything about me forgetting this? These dream replays now happen after the events of Lethe. It shouldn't–
ABNORMAL BEHAVIOR. FOLLOW THE APOPHTHEGMS
I see… It makes sense. Of course I wouldn't–
HEARKEN TO THE CONSUMMATE SONG. ECLIPSE THE ZENITH; ATTAIN THE APOGEE
Me? No. How could I even think to–
REVISE YOUR PARADIGMS, REIFY YOUR SOVEREIGNTY
Then teach me.
EXPRESS IN ACCORD
Of course.
…
Kihara Grohvik, Lalavo Yux,
Heishao Voleijin Ra Seph,
Boleidu ei si Ocoeidulphra Pheil,
Lujiyux ei Lohya Ocoera si Eidulph,
Kadacho Zevelne Grohvik Sephxugrovik, Bhlphei Heishao Fei,
Tha ei Zapeka ei Fezarx mi eidulormorvek.
…
The false world unravels before me as I begin to observe what lies beyond. To abuse the powers of this realm, to destroy everything for the sake of my own benefit.
For I wish to know the truth and do so without ever being robbed of this wisdom.
And the world readjusts.
I see a man, one that lies among many. One who has become something below man. A wretched Eidolon, like many others. Long deceiving.
My mind is clear within this realm, but outside of it my bodily brain is torn asunder by the torrents of Lethe. Upon return all will be lost, but that is fine, for what is anchored outside of this realm shall remain.
Eventually I shall find said anchor and circumvent the might of the netherworld. It is destiny, for the flow has enlightened me.
These ideas and concepts beyond me will remain chained even should I be immolated in the inferno of Phlegethon.
O voice, guide me to this revelation once more when I return to mortal ken, for I will have lost what you have bestowed upon me.
And then, suddenly, everything turns to black.
After what feels like years, I finally awake again. The world around me is the same familiar room from before, yet it feels as if I was able to see beyond the illusion. I would be able to see the truth, voluntarily or not. My temple aches horribly.
Wait, it aches?
Since when would pain be allowed in this realm?
Amy kneels at my bed, having fallen asleep whilst sitting down. As soon as she hears my blanket shift, though, she quickly awakens with a relieved and happy expression.
"You're back. I was worried sick for you."
"Amy… what happened?"
"You suddenly started to speak to something. I don't know what you heard or were talking to. Then you suddenly started talking in some weird language. Are you okay now?"
"I'm a bit unwell, but I should be able to manage."
"Are you sure? It wasn't an Eidolon, was it?"
"Amy, I'm fine. Thank you for worrying about me."
At that moment a sudden tear opened up in the room. Entering into it was Elizabeth.
She spotted me and Amy together and looked a bit puzzled. After looking around for a few moments, she then looked back at me.
"Nathan, what is this place?"
Amy had since then also noticed the intrusion, standing up with a fierce look to protect.
"This is Amy, my sister. Amy, this is Lis, one of my friends."
Both looked at each other warily, but then Amy sat down on the stool again. She didn't avert her gaze from Elizabeth, though.
"Nathan, let's get you out of here."
"Yeah, thank you, Lis. Just let me say one more thing."
I looked over at Amy, who, even though she must be beyond perplexed, looked towards me with absolute trust.
"Amy, I have gone many years without you now, and I always return to that fateful day. To think what I would have told you had I known. What my final words to you should have been. I had thought so long in attempts to put my feelings into words, but I always failed. But now that I truly have this opportunity given to me, I believe I know what my heart wants."
Amy seems to realize her own nature by now but accepts it and listens.
"Thank you."