Potts fumbled frantically through his coat and pulled out a golden emergency Den Den Mushi. The moment he saw the encrypted line on it, his face turned deathly pale.
"A-Admiral Renzo! It's the highest-level distress signal from G-5 Branch!"
Renzo didn't even bother lifting his eyelids. He waved a hand impatiently.
"Tell them I'm on vacation. Even if the sky collapses, it can wait until I wake up."
But before Potts could relay this borderline-dereliction-of-duty message, Tibeard's panicked, half-crying voice blasted through the line, accompanied by explosions.
"Admiral! Admiral Renzo! HELP!!"
"BIG MOM! It's Big Mom, Charlotte Linlin's fleet! They've surrounded G-5!!"
"They're calling your name specifically! They said you captured her son and stole her Chocolate and Rainbow Frosting, she wants to turn you, your sofa, and your kitchen into a Soul Fruit Tart!!!"
BOOOOM!!!
A deafening explosion shook the Den Den Mushi, followed by Tea Beard's even more despairing scream:
"Aaaah!! My office just got blown up!! They're attacking the base now!! Admiral!! If you don't come back, OUR HOME IS GOING TO GET STOLEN!!!"
"…Home. Stolen?"
Renzo's movement stopped.
Slowly, very slowly, he sat upright.
For the first time, those usually half-closed, drowsy blue eyes opened completely.
Gone was the laziness.
Gone was the sleepiness.
In their place was a glacial, terrifying gleam.
The air itself seemed to freeze.
Monet, holding a teacup, felt her hands tremble.
An indescribable pressure radiated from the man before her, so cold, so overwhelming that it made her spine numb.
Sanji paused mid-motion. Cigarette in mouth, he stared at Renzo in shock.
He had never seen Renzo make that face before, the face of a man whose most precious, irreplaceable gourmet ingredient had just been thrown into a garbage bin right in front of him.
"What did you say?" Renzo spoke softly, but the entire ship seemed to tremble.
"My home… is going to be stolen?"
"My sofa… My kitchen… My dessert reward system… My hard-earned, perfectly constructed, absolutely quiet retirement paradise…"
"THAT FAT HAG… HOW DARE SHE!!!"
He shot to his feet from the floating sofa, and his wrinkled Admiral coat flapped without wind.
The giant "Justice" on his back seemed to burn with fury.
G-5 Base might be a chaotic dump to others, a hellhole filled with criminals and lunatics.
But to Renzo, it was his hand-crafted, ultimate Kingdom of Sloth,
His sanctuary.
His paradise.
The one place he could sleep peacefully, eat well, and enjoy a life free of disturbances.
And now, someone wanted to destroy it?
This wasn't a "nuisance."
This was WAR.
An unforgivable, must-be-eradicated-immediately, ultimate-level annoyance.
"Potts!" Renzo's voice was cold and absolute.
"Y-Yes, Admiral!!" Potts snapped to attention instantly.
"Order the Endless Sheep to enter Maximum Jump Mode!"
"Huh? Jump? What's that…?" He was confused, but relayed the command immediately.
"SANJI!"
"Yes!"
"Guard my kitchen and my ingredients! If even ONE can of frosting goes missing, I'll use Big Mom's head as compensation!"
Then Renzo walked to the ship's bow, spreading both arms.
And the vast sloth he usually suppressed erupted in full.
A gray aura surged out like a living tide, enveloping the entire Endless Sheep.
"Target: G-5 Branch."
Renzo closed his eyes and murmured his final command:
"Space… you're too lazy to stretch that far, right? So just… skip it."
HUMMMMM!!!
Before everyone's horrified eyes, the massive resort-like warship blurred, twisted, like a reflection on disturbed water, and vanished.
A huge vacuum vortex formed where the warship had been, whipping the sea into towering waves.
Moments later, hundreds of kilometers away, the Endless Sheep flickered into existence again, only to disappear once more.
Once, twice, three times…
The gigantic warship was performing an impossible series of spatial jumps, teleporting across the sea, racing home at a speed surpassing light itself.
Meanwhile, at Marine Headquarters, Fleet Admiral's Office.
"Fleet Admiral! Bad news!"
A terrified intelligence officer burst through the door.
"G-5 Branch has issued the highest alert! Big Mom herself is attacking the base!"
"What?!"
Sengoku shot to his feet.
His teacup hit the floor and shattered into dust.
"Charlotte Linlin?! Has she gone insane?! Why would she suddenly attack a Marine base?!"
"Reports say… it might be because Admiral Haiiroyo captured her son earlier and confiscated a shipment of her desserts…"
"…"
Sengoku's face turned dark purple.
He felt his heart condition trying to kill him again.
He slammed a fist on the desk.
"A Yonko personally attacking a Marine base, this is outrageous!"
"And G-5 only has Renzo as its admiral! That guy! That guy's fighting spirit is completely unreliable! What if he finds it troublesome and just hands the base over to Big Mom?!"
The more Sengoku spoke, the more frightened he became.
Even a single admiral wasn't enough to confidently suppress a fully serious Yonko.
"Send my order!" he roared at the adjutant.
"Contact Borsalino immediately! Tell him, use maximum speed, NOW, go reinforce G-5!!"
"And tell him, if anything happens to G-5, his afternoon tea for the entire next year is cancelled!!"
"Y-Yes, Fleet Admiral!"
On the roof of Headquarters, Kizaru was sunbathing on a beach chair, wearing sunglasses.
His Den Den Mushi suddenly rang like crazy.
He lazily answered. After hearing the frantic report, his smile turned… extremely amused.
"Oooh, my my~"
"Big Mom went to pick a fight with Renzo? Over a few pastries? Waaah~ what a… fascinating development."
"All right, all right~"
He stood up, stretched lazily.
"Canceling afternoon tea would be terrible, ne~? I'll head out now"
The moment he finished speaking, his body burst into a vertical beam of golden light that pierced the sky, ripping through clouds as he shot toward the New World at impossible speed.
.....
If you enjoy the story, my p@treon is 30 chapters ahead.
[email protected]/DaoistJinzu