The agonizing thirty minutes finally ended. Lockhart gathered the parchments, his expression less than pleased.
"Look… just look at this. Most of you don't even know my favorite color is lilac? I mentioned it in Chapter 18 of Wanderings with Werewolves! Clearly, none of you have read carefully."
"Oh! Oh! Look here!" Suddenly, Lockhart brightened, pulling up a sheet with glee. "See this? Proof that I still have true fans! Look at Mr. Wilson—he's answered every single question perfectly."
He beamed as if he'd uncovered irrefutable evidence. "See? Though Mr. Wilson is shy, he's poured all his admiration for me onto this paper. Only he knew that my greatest ambition is to vanquish evil—and to promote my Occamy Egg Yolk Hair Tonic!"
The Occamy was a marvelous magical beast, serpent-bodied with wings and a bird's head. It could grow enormous or shrink small enough to fit inside a teapot. Its size depended entirely on its container. Its shells were silver, once making the species endangered.
And its yolks? Poisonous. Dangerous.
Obviously, Lockhart's so-called hair tonic was nothing good—use it and you'd be lucky to keep half your life.
Harry and Ron, unfamiliar with Occamy yolks, stared at Louis in shock.
"Louis, I thought you didn't like him," Harry whispered. "But this looks like you're his number one fan!"
"Don't say it," Louis groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Have a little pity on someone cursed with perfect memory. Once I see garbage like that, I can't forget it."
What else could he do? He was helpless.
"Well done, Slytherin earns ten points!" Lockhart declared loudly, closing the farce of a quiz.
"And now, onto real Defense Against the Dark Arts." He struck a dramatic pose with his wand.
"I shall introduce you to the most fearsome, most evil creatures in the wizarding world. Prepare yourselves! You are about to behold horrors unseen before—but do not fear! With me here, you are safe. All I ask is silence, and no panic."
Lockhart really ought to have been an actor—or at least a radio host. His expressions and tone painted a picture of some unspeakable terror.
The students held their breath. Even Ron, usually scornful, looked tense. Neville on the front row nearly curled up into a ball.
The cage on the desk rattled from time to time, underscoring Lockhart's ominous build-up.
"Never, ever anger them…" he intoned darkly. "Allow me to present to you—Cornish Pixies!"
With a flourish, he whipped off the red cloth like a stage magician.
Inside… nothing.
Just an empty cage.
"Cornish Pixies? But there's nothing in there—and they're not scary anyway," Neville protested, annoyed at having been frightened by an empty box.
Lockhart himself was baffled. He'd purchased these Pixies from another wizard specifically as teaching aids. How could the cage be empty?
But Lockhart was Lockhart. With a forced cough, he pressed on. "Mr. Longbottom, don't be fooled. They are dangerous. Look—they've vanished with some wicked trickery!"
"Or maybe it was empty from the start?" Draco Malfoy muttered.
He disliked Gryffindors, yes—but he disliked show-offs even more. Draco always believed he should be the one in the spotlight, and anyone stealing it became his target.
"No, no, of course not! I'll prove it to you!" Lockhart opened the cage. "They must be invisible—just watch, once I open it, they'll rush out in a frenzy! Behold!"
He flung the door wide.
Nothing.
Again, nothing.
Flustered, Lockhart shook the cage upside down. Still no Pixies.
Where are my Pixies?! he thought wildly. I bought a whole cage of them—where could they have gone?
Just as he was about to lose the act completely, a shrill buzzing erupted from his hand.
Before he could react, the red cloth came alive and smothered his face. A swarm of furious Pixies burst forth, clawing at his nose and ears.
"Ahhh! Stop! Don't ruin my handsome face!" Lockhart shrieked, flailing, while the students roared with laughter.
Strangely, the Pixies ignored everyone else, swarming only Lockhart. Even when knocked aside by their kin, each one fought back to reach him, determined to keep biting and scratching.
Louis watched with deep satisfaction, calmly estimating Lockhart's injuries.
When a Pixie snatched Lockhart's wand and jabbed it into his arm, Louis finally nodded in approval. Raising his own wand, he aimed at the chaotic scene.
"Petrificus Totalus!"
A flash of white light. Instantly, Lockhart and the attacking Pixies froze in gray stone-like stillness and toppled to the floor.
The farce was over. The class erupted in cheers and applause.
"Well done, Louis!" Ron clapped with glee, laughing so hard it was unclear whether he meant the Pixies' capture—or Lockhart's petrification.
Maybe both.
Louis modestly lowered his wand, making no move to release Lockhart, and smiled graciously at his audience.
> [You used illusion to fool a twisted adult wizard.]
> [Profound impact.]
> [You gained 200 Trick Points. Current total: 180,970.]
> [You obtained Memory Charm (Legendary).]
The system notification rang in Louis's ears. He blinked, stunned—he hadn't expected to walk away with a legendary spell!
---
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