Ethan Knox - August 2120
I can't stop staring at him. Every scar, every mark on his chest… it tells a story I'll never fully understand, but I can't help tracing them with my fingers, memorising each one.
A shiver runs through me, not from cold, but from the memory, from the vision at the river. I saw him… gone. A bullet, blood, him hitting the ground, and it hit me like a stone in my chest.
Tears prick my eyes, and I hate that they're showing, but I can't hide it. Not from him. Not now.
His hand lands on my face, gentle, grounding, and my chest tightens. His voice cuts through the whirlwind inside me.
"Ethan… talk to me. What's wrong?"
I sniffle and try to form words. "I… I saw you," I whisper, voice wobbling. "I saw you… die… by the river."
His stomach drops, he doesn't need to say a word for me to feel the weight of his worry. He squeezes my wrist reassuringly and I can't help but bury my face in his chest.
"You're okay," I murmur, almost to myself, but loud enough for him. "You're really okay, and you're here, and-ah!" I pull back just enough to peek at him, a shaky little smile tugging at my lips. "I don't care what crazy visions I see, I'm not losing you. Not ever."
He leans down, brushing my hair from my face, and I feel my chest loosen a little. I press a hand to his chest, feeling the steady beat of him there.
"It scared me half to death," I tell him softly, but with a tiny laugh, because he deserves it.
He hums, the tension in his shoulders easing, and I lean forward, resting my forehead against his. "But I won't let anything happen to you" I murmur, smiling into his shirt, "you better believe I'm keeping you close. You're not getting away from me that easily."
I can feel him relax a little, and my heart swells. The fear is still there, yes, but I shake it off with a little grin, like I always try to do.
He doesn't pull away. His hands stay on me, steadying, protective. And I know, right here, right now, that no vision, no shadow, no threat can take this away.
I stay pressed against him, forehead resting on his chest, breathing slow to calm the storm of panic still in my chest. Every rise and fall of him beneath me is grounding. I can feel the strength beneath his skin, but also… fragility.
I lift my head slightly, looking up at him, searching his eyes. "Kai… can you… can you tell me about them?" I gesture to his chest, my voice soft, almost hesitant. "Your scars. Each one."
I can see him stiffen for a moment, a flicker of hesitation in his eyes. I don't push. I just hold his hand tighter, letting him know it's okay to take his time.
"I… don't know if it's-" he starts, voice low, careful.
"It's okay," I interrupt gently, smiling despite the lingering tightness in my chest. "I don't want to hurt you. I just… I want to know you. All of you."
He swallows, then slowly nods. I watch as his hands unconsciously curl around mine, grounding him the way mine are grounding me.
I take his hand and guide him to the bed, gently push him onto it. He lets out a small huff, but doesn't complain. Before he can even sit up, I settle on top of him, straddling his waist. I watch his chest rise and fall, and I can see his breathing hitch just slightly as he looks up at me.
Slowly, I trace a finger over one of his scars. His eyes shiver, and I lean down, pressing a soft kiss to it.
"Ethan…" he warns softly, and I grin, brushing it off with a playful tilt of my head.
I sit back up slightly and let my fingers drift to another mark. "So… what's this one from?" I murmur.
He swallows hard, and his voice is quiet, almost uncertain. "That one," he says, tracing a scar with his own fingers, "that's from training… when I was younger. I pushed too hard, trying to keep up with my friend, Finn. I tripped off the mat and hit the side of the bench."
I follow the line with my finger, careful and gentle, imagining him as a kid, racing and laughing with this Finn. Sometimes I forget he had a life outside the walls of the facility.
I move to another scar, a jagged line across his side. "What about this one?" I ask softly.
"That… was back at the facility," he murmurs. "During practice. I made a mistake, and… someone else paid the price."
I squeeze his hand gently, letting him know silently that it's okay.
His eyes flicker toward mine, a mix of guilt and gratitude, before he moves to a smaller, fainter mark. "That… was an accident with my shadows. I lost control. Didn't think anyone would get hurt… but…" His jaw tightens.
I nod slowly, brushing my thumb over his hand. "I want to know all the battles you've fought… all the things you've survived," I whisper, my voice warm, steady.
He hesitates, then exhales shakily, leaning closer. "Some...," he murmurs. "Some I can't talk about... not yet."
"Then start with the ones you can," I encourage, smiling gently. "I'll listen. No judgment. There is no rush."
I watch the tension in his shoulders ease just slightly. One by one, he shows me each mark, telling me its story in quiet, careful words. And I can't help but marvel, not at the scars themselves, but at him.
Each one is a story. Each story is a part of him. And I want to know it all. Because he's Kai. And I'm not letting go of him, not now, not ever.
When my finger drifts toward the scar on his stomach, he suddenly grabs my wrist, leaning forward just slightly. Panic flickers across his face.
"Not that one," he says softly.
I pause, giving him a small, reassuring smile. I can see he's not ready to share it yet, and that's okay. Even though I really want to know. I press my forehead gently to his, letting him feel I'm here.
"That's okay," I whisper, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "Thank you for telling me about the others."
He exhales slowly, and I stay there, warm and steady, holding him close. I don't need to know every story right now. I just need him.
"You know," I say softly, trying to lighten the weight a little as I shift to his side, "if I had a notebook, I'd probably start cataloguing all your scars like some kind of heroic scrapbook."
Kai lets out a short, almost reluctant laugh, shaking his head. "Ethan…"
"I'm serious," I grin leaning closer. "Each one tells a story. And I want to remember them. Every last one. Even the scary ones. Even the ones you don't want to talk about yet."
He hesitates, looking at me, and I reach out, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "But I get it," I add softly. "Some stories are too heavy to share all at once. And that's fine. I'll wait. I'll be here, even if it takes forever."
Kai swallows, then slowly leans into me, resting his head on my shoulder. I wrap an arm around him, holding him gently. His hand finds mine, fingers entwining, and I can feel his body relaxing against me.
"You always make things… easier," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.
I press a kiss to the top of his head, smiling. "Well, it's kind of my thing," I say warmly, my voice playful but soft. "Helping people, making them feel safe… especially you."
He shifts slightly, looking up at me. "I don't deserve you," he mutters.
I shake my head, brushing his hair back from his face. "Hey, don't even think that. You mean everything to me"
There's a quiet pause as he absorbs that, and I let him. I know he's still carrying so much, still weighing every choice, every scar, every mistake, but he's here with me now, and that's enough. For this moment, it's enough.
It was just a Vision. One I made sure did not come true. One I will never let come true.
I rest my forehead against his again, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.
His lips press lightly against my collarbone, almost like a quiet promise, and I wrap my arms tighter around him. My heart is warm, full, and slightly racing, but I don't mind. I've got him, and right now, that's all that matters.
Because he's mine, and I'm never letting go.