Ethan Knox - August 2120
"Will you stop being so moody" Jack complains.
I flop forward with a dramatic groan, my face squishing against the table. I've been here ever since Kai left the canteen, like some abandoned puppy. A very sad, very dramatic puppy.
"I'm not moody" I mumble into my sleeve. "I'm… emotionally distressed."
Jack scoffs. "Because Kai went to talk to Edmund?"
I lift my head just long enough to glare at him. "You don't understand."
"Oh, please," he mutters rolling his eyes.
I reach over and shove him off his chair. Not hard enough to hurt, just hard enough to make a point.
He hits the floor with a thud. "Ow!"
"Go be judgmental somewhere else" I say, folding my arms.
Jack stands, brushing off his trousers like I've personally ruined his entire week. "Fine! I don't want to deal with a baby anyways."
He stomps off, and I let out a long, dramatic sigh.
Yes, I'm being immature. And no, I don't care. Kai left me alone to go talk to Edmund, and every second he's gone feels like an entire tragic chapter of a book no one asked for.
I bang my forehead gently on the table. Maybe the universe will take pity on me.
The canteen doors creak open. Instantly, my heart leaps, Kai?
Nope.
Instead, Thomas's head pops round the door like he's expecting an ambush.
My tiny spark of hope withers.
He steps inside once he's convinced a certain someone isn't here and weaves between tables. He grabs breakfast from Miriam, then makes eye contact with me.
I blink, confused, but sit up straighter as he approaches.
"Erm… are you okay?" I ask when he reaches my table.
He hesitates, scanning the room. "Is Kai not around?"
"No. He went to see Edmund." I narrow my eyes slightly. "Why?"
He looks relieved. Which is… irritating.
"Can I sit here?" he asks.
I nod, though I don't stop watching him.
"I know he's still trying to avoid me," Thomas says quietly. "I just wanted to make sure he wasn't still here."
Something in his posture, uneasy, guilty, softens me despite myself. Because I know why Kai avoids him, and I know Thomas knows too.
Silence settles for a moment before he speaks again.
"How has he been?" he asks, voice cautious.
The question surprises me, not in a bad way, just… unexpectedly honest.
"I think he's happy here" I say after a moment. "Or… calmer, at least. He seems to relax around people he trusts."
Well...around me, especially, but I keep that part internal.
Kai doesn't smile much, he never has. But he's less tense now. Less ready to flinch or fight. He feels safe with us.
Thomas studies the table, guilt lingering in every line of him.
"Erm… are you okay?" I ask him gently.
He sighs. "Yeah. I just… want to talk to him"
"He just needs time," I say softly.
Thomas's shoulders sag, but he nods.
"I get that. When he looks at me, he must remember all those experiments he was put through."
My breath catches, a sharp protective instinct flaring in my chest.
Yeah, no wonder Kai tenses. No wonder he avoids him.
And no wonder Thomas looks like he's carrying an entire lifetime of regret.
Thomas isn't a bad guy. Not at all. He helped so many people in that facility, in the quiet ways he could. He even helped me.
But for Kai… Thomas must be a walking reminder of memories he'd do anything to forget.
I push myself up from the table and give Thomas a gentle pat on the back. It feels like the right thing to do, something reassuring, something human.
"He's only been here a month," I say softly. "He's still figuring everything out. When he's ready, he'll talk to you."
Thomas looks up at me and nods, but the guilt in his eyes is hard to miss. It hangs there, heavy and tired.
"Anyways," I say with a warm smile, trying to lighten the air around us, "I've got my chores to get on with."
I give him a playful little salute. "Speak to you later, Doctor."
That actually gets a small smile out of him, which feels like a tiny victory.
With that, I turn and head down the corridor, footsteps echoing softly as I leave the canteen behind.
I spot Kai the moment he steps into the corridor. His posture is stiff, his eyes unfocused, and he's doing that thing where he pretends everything is fine even though it absolutely isn't.
Most people wouldn't notice.
But with him, I notice everything.
"Hey," I call softly, lifting a hand.
He turns, and the second his eyes meet mine, his shoulders loosen just a fraction. It's so small most people wouldn't catch it, but to me, it feels like sunlight breaking through clouds.
I walk up to him, slower than usual. "Are you okay?" I ask gently. "You look like someone just told you you're not allowed on the running track anymore"
That earns me the smallest huff of breath. Not quite a laugh, but close.
"What happened?" I ask, keeping my voice low. "What did Edmund do?"
"We just had a conversation," he mutters.
I nod, not pushing. He's tense, too tense. And I want to ask him outright what's wrong, but that will only make him retreat.
So I reach up and brush a strand of hair from his forehead. It's soft, simple contact, but I know it helps him settle. It always does. His eyes flutter shut for a brief second, like he's letting himself breathe.
When he opens them again, he tries to straighten up, to compose himself.
"I'm fine" he says, voice tight.
"Okay," I reply. Just that. But I meet his eyes so he knows I don't believe him and that he doesn't need to pretend with me.
I step slightly in front of him, tilting my head to catch his gaze. "You don't have to talk," I say softly. "But you also don't have to act like nothing's wrong. I'm here either way."
His eyes soften, just a little. Enough to warm something in my chest.
"Ethan…" he breathes, and the quiet way he says my name makes something inside me ache and steady all at once.
I want to hug him. Or pull him close. But he looks overwhelmed. So instead, I slide my hand into his, slow, gentle, giving him every chance to pull away.
He doesn't.
"Let's get out of this hallway," I say quietly. "Come on. We can go to our room."
He hesitates for half a heartbeat, then nods.
We walk together, hand in hand. I give his fingers the smallest squeeze, a wordless promise...
I'm here. You're safe.
And when he squeezes back, just barely, it makes everything feel lighter.
As we step into the bedroom, the sunlight spills through the curtains in soft gold, warming the room. But it doesn't reach him.
When Kai closes the door behind us with a soft click, it's like the light stops before it can touch him. He stands there in the shade, shoulders drawn tight, hands trembling just enough to break my heart.
"Kai," I say gently, stepping closer but keeping my voice steady. "Talk to me."
He doesn't meet my eyes. "It's nothing."
The words are thin, worn. His gaze stays locked on the floorboards as if he's afraid they'll fall away if he looks anywhere else. He doesn't look angry, he looks tired. Hurt. Like he's still trapped in a fight he can't escape.
I don't touch him. Not yet. I just stay close enough for him to feel my presence without being crowded.
He runs a hand through his hair, breath shaking. "I'm not-" He stops, jaw tightening. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay," I whisper. "We don't have to."
His shoulders rise and fall in another uneven breath. The shadows at his feet shift, anxious, reacting to whatever he's holding inside. I reach out slowly and brush the edge of his sleeve with my fingertips.
The shadows settle. Only slightly, but enough.
The room is quiet around us, sunlight soft against the walls.
"Just… come sit with me?" I say quietly. "You don't need to say a thing."
For a long moment, he doesn't move.
Then he nods. Barely. But it's enough.
I guide him to sit on the edge of the bed. He follows, but his posture stays tight, guarded. Like he's bracing for some invisible blow.
He's not ready to talk.
But he's letting me stay near him.
And for now, that's enough.
"Thomas asked about you today" I say, hoping to steer us away from the heavy silence.
Kai goes still. His shoulders tighten, barely, but I feel it.
"Oh," he says quietly.
I reach across the small distance between us and take his hand. He doesn't pull away. His fingers curl into mine like he needs the anchor.
"He just wanted to know how you were doing" I tell him gently.
Kai doesn't answer. His eyes stay fixed on the floor, dark and tired in a way that makes my chest ache.
"I know you don't want to talk to him yet," I continue softly. "And that's fine. Just… when you're ready."
"I know. I just… I can't right now" he murmurs.
I nod, brushing my thumb over his knuckles. We sit like that, quiet, breathing the same air, until he finally stands. I keep hold of his hand, refusing to let him slip away entirely.
"I'm just going to clear my head" he says without meeting my eyes.
Everything in me wants to pull him back. But trapping him would hurt him more. So I force myself to loosen my hold, just a little.
But when he takes a step toward the door I stand up quickly and tug his hand, drawing him back to me. He turns, startled, his mouth parting as if he's about to say something. Before he can, I reach up and cup his face.
He freezes. And then he looks at me, really looks at me. Uncertainty flickers in his eyes, but beneath it… something warm, something wanting.
I feel heat rise through me. I lean in and kiss him, soft, slow, careful. When I pull back, I whisper against his ear, "Why don't you let me help with that?"
His breath catches. His ears turn red and I swallow hard.
I step back, easing him with me, testing if he'll follow.
He does.
When the back of my legs meet the bed, Kai lifts a hand to my cheek, then slides it to cradle the back of my head. My heart thunders. His eyes are already hazy, the way they get when he stops holding everything together and just lets himself feel.
I can't stop myself. I kiss him again, deeper this time. He pulls me into him, one arm around my waist, the other steady and protective at the back of my head. When his fingers tangle in my hair and he pulls at it, a soft sound escapes me before I can stop it.
He pulls back immediately, searching my face to check if he's hurt me. But I lean into him again, breathless, wanting more of him.
"You know I trust you," I breathe against his lips. "You can always trust me to tell you when something's wrong."
His eyes flutter shut for a moment. He presses a lingering kiss to my neck and rests his forehead on my shoulder.
"I don't want to hurt you," he says in a low, strained voice. "I hate how easily I lose control around you."
Not this again.
I slide my hands up his sides, grounding him. "Kai," I murmur, "you won't hurt me. And if anything feels wrong, I'll tell you."
He goes still, completely still.
Then something shifts in him.
In a heartbeat, I'm on my back on the bed and he's leaning over me, bracing himself above me, breathing hard.
His face is flushed. His eyes burn with intensity.
And God... when he looks at me like that, every thought I have dissolves.