Kai Langford - August 2120
His eyes meet mine, soft and luminous in the starlight. The way he looks at me, the quiet trust, the warmth, the unspoken plea, it's more than I ever thought I could bear. My shadows, ever restless and hungry, stir inside me, but this time they don't lash out. This time, they curl around us, protective, waiting, as if they too understand that nothing in the world matters but keeping him safe.
I lift my hands to cradle his face, thumb brushing over the line of his cheekbone. "Ethan…" My voice is rough, low, a sound I can't hide. "I… I should have been there sooner. I shouldn't have ran away before"
He shakes his head slightly, cutting me off with a gentle pressure of his palm against mine. "Shh… It's okay. You're here now. That's all that matters."
I swallow hard, the lump in my throat catching. Every instinct in me wants to confess everything, the fear, the rage, the guilt, the darkness I carry. But right now, it's enough to let him feel what I feel, even if words fail.
"I… I don't ever want to let anyone hurt you" I murmur, voice shaking. "Ever. Not Christopher. Not anyone. If it's up to me, I'll…" My fingers tighten around his. "…I'll do anything for you. I-"
I falter for a moment, unsure if I even deserve to say it, but the words slip anyway, raw and urgent. "…I care for you so much. I don't care what it costs me. I… I can't let anyone take you from me."
He leans into my touch, softening against me, and the relief that floods me is almost unbearable. And for the first time in a long time, I let myself imagine a life beyond pain and blood and shadows, a life with him.
"I've never stop caring for you" he whispers back, just as softly, his hand curling over mine. "And I'm not letting go. Not now, not ever."
The words feel like fire in my chest, and I close my eyes for a moment, letting them settle into me. Everything I've carried, the rage, the fear, the years of being told I'm a monster, is gone, dissolved in this quiet certainty. I will protect him, I will fight for him, I will be what he needs me to be.
I lean up closer, pressing my forehead against his, breathing in the faint scent of him. "Sorry if I smell of smoke, just... give me a second".
He smiles against me, small but unshakable, and for the first time tonight, I feel the edges of my darkness soften. "I don't mind".
I press my lips to the back of his hand, lingering, memorising the warmth, the softness, the life in him. And in that moment, I don't think about the missions, the enemies, the blood I've spilled. I only think about him.
Ethan slowly pulls his hands from mine, and I glance up at him, a flicker of panic in my chest. But then he reaches for my face, cradling it gently in his hands.
I've always loved it when he does this, it feels warm, grounding, safe.
"Kai…" His voice is soft, hesitant. "I'm going to kiss you now."
Before I can respond, he leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. It's soft… too soft. I want more. I push myself closer, rising from my knees as I deepen the kiss, until I'm standing over him. I break away for just a moment, breathless, and look down at him. He flushes slightly, a shy warmth in his eyes.
The memories of our time from the facility hit me all at once and I can't hold back. My hand slides behind the back of his neck, and I lean in for another kiss, hungrier this time, more desperate.
He responds instantly, pushing off the swing set and wrapping his arms around my neck. The world narrows to just us, the kiss pulling us closer, tighter, until he finally breaks for air. His chest heaves, eyes lifting to meet mine, shy and panting.
I'm about to lean in for another kiss when he hesitates, pulling back slightly. He glances around nervously and then it hits me.
We're out in the open, in plain sight of anyone in Trinity. I flush, embarrassment creeping in, but when I look, thankfully, the area is empty.
"Come on," Ethan says, a small grin tugging at his lips. He grabs my hand, and together, we start walking toward the school, the warmth of his hand still holding me steady.
The path back to Ethans bedroom is quiet, the air is warm and still, as if the world itself is holding its breath for us. Ethan walks beside me, close enough that our hands brush with each step, and every touch feels like it burns straight through my skin.
I don't speak. I don't trust my voice. My chest is still tight with everything I didn't say earlier, everything I still want to say. But Ethan's presence steadies me. His warmth. His scent. His hand slipping into mine as we reach the hallway.
When we reach his door, he hesitates only a second before guiding me inside. The lights are low, soft, I must have left them on earlier.
"Sit" Ethan murmurs, nodding toward the bed as he closes the door behind us.
I sit at the edge, watching him as he moves closer. He looks exhausted, shaken… but there's something else there too. Something warm and sure and bright, flickering just beneath his skin.
When he steps between my knees, I look up at him instinctively. His hands come to rest on my shoulders, light at first, unsure… and then firmer when he realises I'm not pulling away.
"Kai" he breathes, brushing his thumb along the side of my jaw. "Come here."
I don't know who moves first. Maybe we both do. But suddenly he's sitting on my lap, his legs bracketing mine, his hands cupping my face as if I'm something precious. My breath stutters. I've imagined being this close to him years ago. A quiet, hidden imaginings I never allowed myself to hope for.
I feel his forehead rest against mine, his breath warm and trembling.
"You saved me tonight" he whispers. "And I… I've wanted this, wanted you, for so long."
My hands slide to his hips, fingers curling instinctively as if I'm afraid he'll vanish. "Ethan… I would've torn the whole building apart to get to you." My voice cracks. "I thought I was going to lose you"
"You won't" he murmurs, lifting my chin so I'm forced to meet his eyes.
Then he kisses me.
It's soft at first, gentle, tentative, almost shy. But I can feel everything he's held back. Fear. Relief. Want. Years of it, pushed down, denied, forced into silence.
Something in me snaps.
I pull him closer, hands sliding up his back, holding him as if I can merge him into my skin. The kiss deepens fast, hungry, desperate. He tastes like warmth, like the beginning of something I never thought I'd be allowed to have.
Ethan breaks the kiss only long enough to whisper against my lips, "Kai… don't hold back. Not with me."
And gods, I try. I try to be gentle. But the way he says my name, the way he looks at me, trusting, open, wanting, undoes every wall I've ever built.
My shadows shift instinctively, restless, reaching out around us like dark smoke sensing danger, but Ethan's hands slide into my hair, grounding me. "Hey" he murmurs, "It's okay, take it slow"
The shadows soften.
For the first time in a long time, they actually soften.
I kiss him again, slower this time, deeper, reverent. His hands roam up my chest, over my shoulders, like he's mapping out what parts of me belong to him. My breath stutters every time he touches a new place.
Ethan leans back slightly, just enough to look at me properly. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes bright.
"You're trembling" he whispers.
"So are you," I manage, voice low.
He smiles, small and warm and a little embarrassed. "I've wanted to do this for so long."
"Me too" I admit, the words dragging themselves out of a place in my chest that's been locked for years. "I never thought I'd be allowed to."
Ethan's hands slide down my arms until his fingers lace with mine. He leans forward, nudging his nose against my cheek, his breath warm against my ear.
"You've always been allowed" he whispers.
His words hit something so deep inside me it almost hurts. I hold him tighter without meaning to, my breath shaking. I bury my face in his neck for a moment, because it's too much, too much light after years of darkness.
And Ethan just holds me. Quietly, gently, like he understands everything I'm not saying.
When I finally lift my head, his face is inches from mine.
"Never leave me" he murmurs.
My throat tightens painfully. I nod.
He smiles, and it feels like the world shifts.
The floodgates open. And neither of us is hold back anymore...
____________________________________
The room is quiet once we settle onto the bed. Only the sound of our heavy breathing and scent of sweat and sea water fills the air.
The soft glow of the lamps casting shadows across the walls. Ethan shifts beside me, careful, his hand still holding mine as if letting go would break everything.
I feel the steady rise and fall of his chest as he tried to catch his breath, and for the first time in years, the chaos in my mind quiets.
We lie there like that for what feels like hours, wrapped around each other, neither speaking. I trace the line of his jaw with my thumb, memorising every detail I've wanted to touch for so long. His blonde hair brushes against my cheek, his breath warm against my skin, and I finally let myself relax completely.
At some point, I drift into a light sleep, fingers entwined with his. I wake later to find him still holding me, head resting on my chest, eyes closed, lips pressed softly against my skin. There's no rush. Just the quiet intimacy of two people finally allowed to exist together.
In the morning, the sunlight slants through the window, painting the room gold. Ethan stirs beside me, still curled close, and I feel an ache in my chest at the thought of ever being apart again.
I shift slightly, and he murmurs, half-asleep, "That was amazing last night"
My face flushes as if i'm embarrassed about what happened. I press a kiss the top of his head to steady my heart.
In this quiet morning light, with the world still asleep outside, I know, finally, completely, that we've crossed a line we'll never look back from.
Whatever comes next, whatever dangers lie ahead… I will protect him.