Tashigi adjusted her glasses and shot him a look that was both weary and fond. "Just laugh, Vice Admiral. There's no need to strain yourself holding it in."
"..." Smoker struggled to maintain his stern facade, but the triumphant gleam in his eyes was unmistakable. "This is all wreckage from pirate ships shattered by the Knock Up Stream. It has nothing to do with our Marine operations."
"Right, right, right," Tashigi drawled, a sly smile playing on her lips. "After all, the dead can't testify. And the bounties from these Jolly Rogers..."
The two exchanged a glance, a wave of mutual understanding passing between them.
"All hands, attention!" Smoker suddenly barked, his voice echoing across the deck. "Search the wreckage! Look for survivors! Apprehend them!"
The Marines glanced at each other. A young, green recruit dared to whisper, "But, sir... it's all splinters... How could anyone have survived that?"
"That's an order!" Smoker boomed, fixing the recruit with a steely glare. "What if one of those scum got lucky?"
"YES, SIR!"
The Marines snapped into action. Small boats were lowered, weaving through the field of floating debris like water striders.
One fished out a tattered half of a skull-and-crossbones flag. Another salvaged a bejeweled scimitar still embedded in a chunk of hull. A third retrieved a wax-sealed, waterproof tube containing what looked like a detailed sea chart.
Tashigi walked over, holding a stack of damp, slightly blurry bounty posters. "Vice Admiral, preliminary estimates suggest the wreckage of at least seven pirate crews with collective bounties exceeding one hundred million Berries is here."
Smoker scanned the list, and a rare, almost imperceptible flicker of guilt crossed his face. "Tashigi... do you ever think I'm being... a little underhanded?"
"Vice Admiral," Tashigi said, a rare, genuine smile touching her lips, "You never used to worry about such things. Ever since we started chasing the Straw Hats, you've become..." she searched for the right word, "...more human."
"Besides," she added pragmatically, "all this bounty money can go toward improving our soldiers' barracks and rations."
Smoker was silent for a moment, then let out a short, sharp bark of laughter. "You're right! These pirate scum got what they deserved!" He waved a hand. "Collect every scrap of evidence that can identify these crews!"
"And the after-action report...?" Tashigi prompted, raising an eyebrow.
"Write that..." Smoker blew a thoughtful smoke ring, a shrewd glint in his eye, "...we encountered a massive alliance of pirate crews engaged in a fierce battle over territory. After a desperate and heroic struggle, our unit, against all odds, emerged victorious, annihilating the enemy forces!"
The surrounding Marines secretly gave him a thumbs-up. The distributed bounty shares would mean new uniforms for their families, and maybe even enough left over for some home improvements!
A few hours later, the warship slowly set sail, towing the smaller boats laden with their "spoils of war."
Smoker gazed out at the sea, now calming into gentle swells, and a thought suddenly struck him. "Tashigi... what about that Straw Hat kid and his crew...?"
"They're fine, I'm sure of it," Tashigi replied without a moment's hesitation. "Those guys have the devil's own luck. There's no way a little thing like a flying island could finish them off."
Smoker gave a slight, grim nod and turned toward his cabin. "Next time we meet, I'll capture them with my own hands!"
Meanwhile, during this very period,
Newspapers featuring Smoker were being frantically printed and distributed across the world!
"EXTRA! EXTRA!"
"'WHITE HUNTER' SMOKER ACHIEVES GREATEST NAVAL VICTORY IN DECADES!"
"SINGLE-HANDEDLY ANNIHILATES HUNDREDS OF PIRATE CREWS! JAYA ISLAND WIPED FROM THE MAP!"
Accompanying the headline was a dramatic, digitally altered photo: Smoker standing heroically on his warship's deck, with the sky behind him filled with the wreckage of countless pirate vessels!
Special Correspondent's Report:
Vice Admiral Smoker of Marine Branch G-5 has achieved a feat that has shaken the world!
In the waters near the former location of Jaya Island on the Grand Line, this "White Hunter" single-handedly engaged and destroyed an alliance of hundreds of pirate crews!
Even more astonishingly, the entire landmass of Jaya Island was completely erased from the world's maps during the cataclysmic battle!
This report is corroborated by the firsthand account of a News Coo eyewitness!
The moment the news broke, the entire world was stunned.
...
Marineford, Fleet Admiral's Office
CRASH!
The ceramic teacup in Sengoku's hand shattered on the marble floor. Hot tea splashed across the latest edition of the World Economic Journal, soaking a large portion of the front-page photo of a triumphant Smoker.
"How much did that damn bird exaggerate this time?!" Sengoku roared, leaping to his feet so fast his chair screeched backward. He snatched up his Den Den Mushi. "Get me Smoker! Now! Immediately!"
...
The office door burst open.
Vice Admiral Tsuru strode in briskly, holding the same newspaper. "It seems we have all underestimated the 'White Hunter'."
Her tone was measured, but a faint hint of amusement was detectable beneath it.
"Preposterous!" Sengoku ripped his Admiral's cap from his head, a vein throbbing on his forehead. "One man annihilating hundreds of crews? Erasing an island?!"
He slammed his palm down on the newspaper. "Since when did Smoker possess that kind of power?! If he did, would he have been languishing at G-5 for all these years?!"
"Promoting him to Vice Admiral might have been an understatement!" he fumed.
Tsuru walked to the window, gazing out at the warships docked in Marineford's bay. "Exaggerated or not, Morgans' report, the pirate wreckage in that photo... it's all real."
Sengoku's desk was buried under a mountain of urgent dispatches. He massaged his temples, feeling the familiar throbbing of a migraine beginning. He was already dealing with the headache of two Emperors mobilizing and the Whitebeard Pirates bearing down on Marineford.
But at least Smoker had provided a pleasant surprise. Had the man been holding out on him all this time?
As expected of the steadfast Smoker!
He took a deep, steadying breath, his eyes falling once more on the newspaper. A plan began to form in his mind. He grabbed the Den Den Mushi again. "Get me Smoker! Now!"
...
Out at Sea
Smoker was enjoying a cigar, overseeing his men tally their "spoils," when a frantic communications officer came sprinting. "Vice Admiral! Priority call from Fleet Admiral Sengoku!"
The moment the Den Den Mushi connected, Sengoku's voice, crackling with urgency, exploded from the receiver. "Smoker! I have a critical mission for you! The Whitebeard Pirates are on a direct course for Marineford. Intercept them. Immediately!"
"Me?"
Smoker was so stunned the cigar fell from his lips. "Fleet Admiral, with all due respect... are you certain...?"
"No time for debate!" Sengoku cut him off. "Kuzan and Borsalino are engaged with other Emperor forces! Sakazuki is tied up with Celestial Dragon escort duty! You are the highest-ranking and most capable officer we can deploy on such short notice!"
Sengoku deliberately emphasized the words 'highest-ranking and most capable'!
Smoker's face turned a shade paler than his hair. "Fleet Admiral... that's Whitebeard. Are you seriously ordering me, a single Vice Admiral, to intercept a full-on Yonko fleet...?"
"YES!" Sengoku's voice boomed. "I am fully aware of your recent, brilliant achievements! Do not worry, the commendations and rewards for your last operation will be substantial! Now, go and delay them!"
"..." A cold dread prickled across Smoker's scalp. "Fleet Admiral, I can't possibly delay..."
....
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