"Click! Bang!"
Deadpool followed his cousin's instructions, jogging through the pitch-black passage. He reached the door at the end, slid his sword into the door gap, and then kicked the door wide open, charging inside.
"Uncle Deadpool is here, why is no one coming to welcome me? You little green pools, haha, yes, I see you, your butt is sticking out from behind there! What? That's actually your face?! Holy shit!"
Su Ming and the others saw Deadpool disappear around the corner through the door, followed by loud shouting and the sounds of a firefight.
The muzzle flashes flickered, slightly illuminating the sides of the passage. The moss on the walls was moist, resembling stars in the night sky.
"Come on, let's follow. You two without armor, be careful."
As expected by Su Ming, behind the door was a huge space that probably used to be a warehouse, but now it was a massive experimental factory.
Numerous tall and complex machines were lined up inside, with a production line running through the center. A row of human corpses, hanging like pigs ready for slaughter, were hooked onto several rows of iron hooks, half a meter off the ground, moving with the conveyor belt toward the adjacent factory building.
Deadpool was mingling among these corpses, engaging in an intense firefight with the other side. He constantly weaved between the torsos and thighs, dodging the blue beams and shouting curses continually.
Near the door, Su Ming quietly observed that the other side were Germans, but not Hydra.
They didn't have Hydra insignias or uniforms, but they wielded energy weapons emitting a blue glow, the kind seen in movies—a metal backpack connected with tubes, like equipment used for spraying pesticides.
Su Ming wasn't sure if his armor could withstand the energy of the Cosmic Rubik's Cube, but it didn't seem optimistic at the moment.
Even if Deadpool got hit by that thing, he would lose a large chunk of his limbs. Currently, Wade's belly was already missing a piece, with the scorched wound healing slowly, indicating he's not having a good time.
So, the mage and the doctor needed to be extra careful. Without a self-healing ability, this kind of weapon could instantly turn them into a pile of ashes.
"Monac, protect you two. Holloway, get a corpse down for examination. I'm going to help Wade relieve some pressure."
Su Ming surveyed the battlefield; the factory was divided into two levels, with machinery in the middle and a giant conveyor belt that transported corpses into an inlet leading to the adjacent room, whose purpose was unknown.
The opposition held the advantage, hammering Wade down like Whac-A-Mole.
Though Deadpool cursed endlessly, he dared not even stick his head out. The cover around him constantly sparked and exploded, with mechanical parts and human remains flying everywhere.
Su Ming accelerated, performing a slide tackle in the hail of bullets to Deadpool's side, hiding behind a machine.
"Slade, are you wearing white underwear? Take it off and give it to me to make a white flag; let's surrender." Wade held his belly, which had already healed. However, his suit was missing a piece, revealing the constantly rotting and shedding skin beneath.
Su Ming knocked on his head: "If you want to surrender, go ahead; I'd be embarrassed."
Wade said, aggrieved: "I would, but today I'm wearing red underwear. They'll think I'm with a certain party, and then I'm really screwed."
"Shut up. I'll take care of these guys. Watch and learn well!"
The enemies on the second floor were currently moving, trying to flank them from above. Su Ming couldn't hesitate.
In such a situation, the tactical options were limited: either capturing the leader or eliminating the enemy's advantage.
Currently, the enemy held firepower, height, and numerical advantages. Eliminating just one wasn't enough. As a tactical master, Su Ming chose to create a new advantage for himself and Deadpool.
Beside the door they had just burst through, there was a red-lit iron box higher up.
It was a power distribution box; whether they were generating their own electricity or siphoning off London's grid, there would always be such a thing in a German factory. Precision and meticulousness were in their national character.
Su Ming extended his hand from behind cover; his super brain's spatial calculation ability allowed him to calculate any angle and distance without looking and accurately hit the target.
He quickly emptied the pistol's magazine.
The power distribution box exploded in a flurry of sparks, resulting in an explosion. Immediately following, the entire factory plunged into darkness.
Even if the other side had backup power, it would take at least thirty seconds to reboot. This amount of time was enough for Su Ming.
Assuming the enemies were human, and humans needed light due to the structure of their eyes, this era lacked night vision devices. Now, the advantage in the field instantly shifted to Deadpool and Deathstroke, the future super soldiers, rendering the opposition's three major advantages null.
"Wow, cousin, I really admire you. You're so cool." Deadpool clasped his hands together in front of his chest, mimicking a pose straight out of a shoujo manga, using his mask's white, creepy big eyes to look at Su Ming: "Now that the lights are out, you can do anything you want~ with me~ oh~"
"Ugh..." Su Ming dry-heaved, using the gun stock to hit the back of Wade's head and kicked him out of cover with one swift motion, sending him flying to the second-floor scaffolding: "If you don't want me to shoot you in the back, cut the disgusting talk and start slashing?"
Deadpool clung to the scaffolding, crawling up using both hands and feet. He didn't immediately start slashing people but instead twisted his head toward the sky, starting his antics.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I know many of you have suspected that my handsome cousin is gay, but I just tested him. He remains unmoved by someone as outstanding, dashing, invincible, handsome, and charming as me. I even told him he could do anything he wanted, and we're in a taboo relationship, which should be more stimulating. Yet, he still beat the crap out of me, so I conclude he's straight, super straight. If you still have questions, feel free to leave them on my account or follow my social media livestream every Thursday night. I'll pick one lucky viewer to come..."
"Bang!"
A bullet shot from below went straight through his left temple and exited out the right, brain matter splattering, accompanied by Su Ming's angry shout.
"Didn't I tell you super soldiers have super hearing? Get to work!"
Deadpool made a 'hic' sound, swaying and slumping to the ground. He stupidly sat there, his brain damage making everything appear haloed, making everything seem wonderful, and he seemed to hear Star-Lord's favorite song.
Hail, what's the matter with your head, Hail, what's the matter with your mind and your sign?
Come And Get Your Love... Come And Get Your Love...
Ah, a beautiful, warm afternoon...
Then a second bullet flew over, entering his forehead and exiting through the back of his head, carrying out another large plume of brain matter as he fell backward. Su Ming's voice arrived slightly later than the bullet.
"Turn off! Your! Mp3!"
Finally, Su Ming felt satisfied. He had endured for quite a while. After carving a cross in Wade's brain with bullets, he grabbed the Nightfall Greatsword, leaping over cover, charging towards enemies fumbling in the darkness.
And Deadpool lay there quietly, eyes stupidly open, his hands reaching towards the sky moments later, as if seeing Vanessa smiling at him, wanting to embrace her.
Then he discovered that Vanessa was surprisingly strong, carrying him in a princess hold. But, it wasn't bad. They had tried this pose before, seems she liked it, swapping roles to play.
He nestled his head against Vanessa's chest like a docile bird.
Something felt off though; although the size was similar, Vanessa's chest wasn't this hard. However, she was bringing her mouth over, hehe... why overthink? Just enjoy it first.
Yet, his brain's self-healing completed at that moment, changing his vision, and he realized it wasn't Vanessa who was holding him, but a monster with a mouth full of sharp fangs, as if a Great White Shark head had been installed on a muscular, naked man.
That mouth wasn't Vanessa's tender red lips, but the creature's bloodthirsty maw; it wasn't his girlfriend wanting to "eat" him, but a muscle monster wanting to eat him!
"Ugh! What the hell is this?!" Deadpool severed its head with a slash, the fanged head floundering a few more times like a fish out of water before finally settling down, something he had never seen before.
Jolted out from a blissful dream back into harsh reality made Deadpool retch, holding onto the railing beside, a certain part of his body softening instantly.
It was his legs going soft, nothing else.
"Shit, that's disgusting, trying to take advantage of Lord Deadpool! Such sudden twists could cause performance issues in me! Who wrote this damn script? I didn't get big budget effects, and they couldn't even afford my girlfriend's appearance fee? Her cameo was too brief even for a guest role!"
He not only ranted wildly but spat viciously; unfortunately, he forgot to lift his mask, so he had to swallow it back down...
But he no longer cared; now he just wanted to vent out the psychological shadow of his shattered dream. He dashed forward, brandishing his dual blades towards the endless stream of emerging enemies.