Su Ming heard their conversation and almost kneeled before these two big shots.
The vibe at DC is a bit serious, not as relaxed as here, but aren't you guys taking it a bit too easy? The battle isn't even over, Deadpool is still fighting for his life upstairs, and you guys are discussing beard grooming?
Slacking off during a fight, is that really a good idea? It's so dangerous.
Su Ming quickly walked towards the door, where Monac's Shield Spell was emitting a faint glow. He approached the two and took off his helmet: "What beard wax? Let me try too, I feel like my beard has been splitting and lacks shine lately..."
This wax smells really nice.
........
Deadpool had a chunk of flesh bitten off by a Sharkman, but he seized the opportunity to stab his Samurai Sword into the opponent's eye socket and gave it a good stir.
Blood and brain matter sprayed all over his face, he wiped his mask, and kicked the corpse away with a foot.
These freaks mostly have Shark Heads, Octopus Heads, Sea Star Heads, but he's only chasing after the Shark Heads to kill.
In a blur, he could see a thought bubble above the opponent's head, with their thoughts inside, the small eyes of these Shark Heads filled with despair: "Why just us?"
Meanwhile, the monsters with other heads looked secretly delighted, crazily attacking beside Deadpool.
Why was it again?
Deadpool kind of forgot, but he just found the Sharkmen annoying, is that reason not enough?
"When I shove your head up your ass, you can go down to Hell and ask Mephisto, also, can your skin be turned into a belt or handbag? Anyone know, raise your hand?"
As Deadpool asked, he mercilessly sliced through a few monsters behind him, their eyes full of confusion as they died.
Wasn't it just the Shark Heads he was supposed to kill? Why did he suddenly turn around and start killing us? So mean...
However, Deadpool never really had a reason for what he did; many times, he just acted on impulse.
Shooting while slashing, Wade was drenched in blood, and after he had hacked everyone to death, he himself was in tatters, like a rag doll torn apart by wild dogs.
"Pah, some little fish trying to eat Master Deadpool, do you know I once appeared on the cover of Time Magazine?" Deadpool lifted his mask and spat a gob of bloody phlegm, kicking the surrounding bodies hard: "Do you know Time Magazine? Only the most dazzling and coolest humans can be on the cover, meaning I'm very bad ass, and you're not as bad ass as me, so you're just dead ass now."
After ranting, Deadpool put all this behind him, dragging the bodies together to sit on them and take a short rest.
After hacking so many people, his wrists were a bit fatigued.
Deadpool sat on the pile of bodies, it was slippery underneath his butt, but he ignored it, turned his head to the side, pulled out a white mask, put it on, and pretended to be a doctor, speaking to the 'audience.'
"Many people know athletes have joint issues, like tennis elbow and torn ligaments, we mercenaries have similar problems, too. When you slay too many people at once, you might develop 'slayer's elbow' where your hands become sore and itchy, uncontrollably chopping people, severely enough you might even chop yourself, Slade is a late-stage patient of this... What? You said they left? How could they abandon adorable me and just leave?... Faker, they're really gone."
Deadpool's eyes on the mask widened, he jumped onto the nearby handrail and looked down to the first floor, all he could see was scattered limbs everywhere and blood like abstract graffiti blocks on the walls, but the other three were gone.
"Could this be... a dine and dash..."
An illusion appeared in his mind, as if he saw his cousin waving farewell to him from an old car, with the trunk packed full of cash, the car driving away quickly, leaving only floating change and Deathstroke's bell-like laughter.
He jumped straight down from the second floor, his knee dislocated with a crack, but he casually fixed it and ran towards the door.
Only to find the three crouching in the hallway outside the door in the darkness, grooming their beards by flashlight.
Deadpool's mouth involuntarily twitched a bit, he knew he wasn't often serious, but just now he was fighting to the death, those monsters surging like tides, while Deadpool was as helpless as a soda bottle in the ocean.
You guys are insane? Playing with beards here? Is it really appropriate timing? Is your team the Beard Alliance?
He sheathed his Samurai Sword, walked towards them, and took a deep breath.
"Any skincare products? My face has been rotting away, losing its glow, I want baby-like suppleness and tightness..."
As he spoke, he squatted down and tore off his mask, revealing his chrysanthemum-like old face, with an embarrassed smile on his pizza-like face.
"Ugh..." X3.
...........
Su Ming wiped his beard clean with a paper towel, that unexpectedly disgusting face in the darkness was enough, countless heroes and mighty figures would throw up upon seeing Deadpool's face, a true testament to its fame today.
He buckled his helmet, urging Holloway and Monac to forget about today's events, both were wiping their beards and nodding in agreement with a sense of shared sentiment.
"Ahem, alright, let's move forward, with all that noise just now, some enemies from next door also came over, but there wasn't anyone worthy of being called an opponent." Su Ming sketched a rough map in the dust on the floor, speculating that the next room is likely another factory or lab of similar size.
After all, all those inhuman bodies were sent over on a conveyor belt, and despite the power outage and crossfire, no enemies were drawn out.
Even with the three of them noticeably slacking off together, still no enemy made a move.
Is their tolerance high? Or did they not notice? In any case, the baiting strategy failed.
"Were those freaks the Atlanteans?" Holloway pointed upstairs, although the factory was pitch-black now, the others knew what he was referring to: "And those on the conveyor belt? Aren't they from the same group?"
Su Ming quickly explained: "The Undersea People are currently in a state of division, and those on the conveyor belt are more like... failed experiments of Mixed Blood Undersea People."
"What about those weird heads I encountered?" Deadpool interjected, pointing to his uniform covered in bite marks and holes: "Are they the result of Atlanteans genetically mixing with some marine creatures, producing those freaks? Oh my, what did their ancestors do?"
Su Ming sighed, Wade always pondered these things: "Not really, they are more like mutants, their adaptations in the marine environment caused X Gene mutations towards marine life forms, they all look like sharks, but their genes are actually completely different, this is evolutionary theory, not genetic inheritance."
"Uh... didn't feel any difference, all could be killed with a few slashes." Deadpool mused, scratching his chin and tilting his head in thought.
"That's why I said we haven't encountered any worthy opponent, their boss should still be behind, understand?" Su Ming stood up, wiping off the floor sketch with his combat boots.
"Uh, I think I got it, maybe, so just chop them up and call it a day, right?"
Although it was missing the breaking door and cursing elements, which are Deadpool's instincts, Su Ming didn't need to emphasize that anymore: "That's right, go for it."