Staring at Team Zero's meeting room ceiling in a daze, I lay down on Ilyas' lap as I felt warm energy flowing in through my hand.
After being discharged, whenever I received guiding from Ilyas, I never fall asleep mid-guiding anymore. In fact, my insomnia got better, I could sleep for a few hours before being jolted awake by pain from my impurities. My nosebleed had reduced in frequency too, the same happened with my numbness and headache.
This could only mean one of two things, the pills Wilson gave me worked or Ilyas' guiding was that effective, or maybe both.
"Ilyas, did you guide me when I was unconscious from my injury?"
Ilyas, who was playing with my hair, halted. He admitted honestly, "Yes, I guided you all the time except when I sleep."
'Wait, does that mean he guides me nonstop for two days?'
The same as esper, when a guide used their guiding energy for too long their stamina would be drained and they would end up collapsing.
But he's telling me he could guide for two days without being tired?
"The hospital recommended guides to guide their injured esper to help elevate the pain. In some way it works as a painkiller."
"... Our guide is really amazing." I mumbled.
I didn't know if this was the perk of being an S-Rank guide or because the plot armor was working, regardless, from an esper's point of view, having a reliable guide was a lifesaving experience. This was one of the factors of espers' obsession with their guide.
"I've been thinking Ethan, before I awaken, why don't you do guiding with other guides? Is there another reason other than matching rate and compatibility?"
He was subtly asking why I didn't do the same method as Cedric and Xain, using as many guides to preserve my life and alleviate the impurities from my body no matter how small it could.
"Why the sudden question?"
"Do you know the average time it takes to completely purify an esper not using their ability? It takes 3 hours at max, but after two days of guiding, there's still so much tangled impurities inside your body."
Ilyas' serious eyes made me feel a bit guilty. He must be having a hard time purifying my impurities, but he still genuinely wanted to help me.
There actually wasn't that much reason. Sacrificing other people's health just to make my pain slightly better was a no in my book.
'It's not going to be completely cured anyway. It's not worth sending someone to the hospital just for a few days' worth of reduced pain.'
That's what I thought. Other than that reason however, there's one factor why I held on until this day.
"I was waiting for you."
"Huh?"
I raised my gaze at Ilyas, his emerald eyes locked with mine. Brushing his hair, I repeated.
"I know someone will awaken as an S-Rank guide sooner or later, so I waited. And now, you're finally here as our guide."
Ilyas' eyes widened. He glanced away, fidgeting his fingers before finally turning his head away from my face, covering his mouth with his hand.
I was confused for a second before realizing.
'Was my word too cringe?'
A sudden embarrassment surged within me. Since when did I say such cliché lines?
Even in my previous life, I only used these cliché lines when I was joking with my friends, never had I used it in a serious situation like this.
'This must be because of my transmigration.'
I blamed this comic world for my change in behavior.
BEEP!
Fortunately, the alarm signaling the end of our guiding session rang – ending this awkward conversation.
I scrambled up my feet while avoiding Ilyas' glances as I quickly walked to the door.
"Ethan."
But my hand was caught by Ilyas, his face was flushed red as he looked up at me shyly.
"I- I just want to say… I'm glad to have you as our captain, thank you for always taking care of me."
Ilyas smiled warmly, his eyes curved into a beautiful crescent. His radiant face was captivating.
"No, it's me that should be thankful. You saved my life with your guiding, so I'm the one under your care. Thank you Ilyas."
I stared at Ilyas' glimmering eyes, hoping to convey my genuine gratitude to him. But after that, I quickly turned away, coughing in awkwardness before once again heading toward the door.
"Let's head back, shall we?"
.
.
Ilyas was a firm believer of fate and destiny, including fated encounters. He knew the relationship he had today – whether it was good or bad – was the result of his karma. One of it was him awakening as an S-Rank guide and the encounter with the three espers.
But if Ethan had already known about Ilyas' awakening as a guide, was it still considered a fated encounter? Or maybe a prophesied destiny?
There were a lot of things Ilyas couldn't understand about Ethan.
'After all these years of not a single S-Rank guide in the world, how could he know someone would awaken as one?'
'Did he wait for me specifically?'
'….'
'Does he need me?'
He gazed out the car's window, the man who had made his heart in turmoil was reflected on it. The same man who made Ilyas' stomach flutter at the mere thought of him.
'It's the first time I'm feeling like this.'
Since the death of his parents, Ilyas rarely talked his heart out to other people, even to his grandma and friends. Bearing the guilt of being the sole survivor of that car crash, Ilyas only attachment in this life was the promise he made with his parents.
Stay alive. Keep on living.
Those were the last words of his parent that kept him going.
But now, he wasn't sure anymore. The more he interacted with Ethan the more he cherished every second of it. This fueled his will to live, giving him the courage and another reason to stay alive.
Yet, he was afraid.
Ethan's existence felt fragile, like a string that could be cut off anytime soon.
'Is it alright to open up my heart to him?'
'Will I get hurt from the loss of my loved ones once more?'
It was a question he didn't want to answer. It was a fact that Ethan saved him, and in his principle, a debt should be paid.
But his feelings betrayed him. It was no longer a simple promise and debt, it had grown into something much more greedy – much more selfish than that.
Ilyas glanced at Ethan beside him, his side profile came into view. Though his features were sharp, the gentleness in his demeanor and tone outshone the intimidating vibes it gave off.
That contrast was what Ilyas liked about Ethan and he wanted to keep it that way.
He gazed out the window again, this time clenching his fist.
'No matter what happens, if he needs me, I will be there for him.'