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"Hey, Ethan, what's your deal?" Saitama squinted at the man sprawled out in front of his TV. "Why've you been hanging around my place these last couple of days and refusing to go home?"
"Ah, you know, neighbors should stay close and keep in touch. That's how good relationships are built, right?" Ethan answered with a bright smile.
Of course, there was no way he could admit the real reason — that his maid was actually a boy, and a ridiculously cute one at that. Especially since he'd just drawn a parody manga about Saitama and Genos. If Saitama ever found out about his "maid," that bald idiot would probably shout it across the whole city. And once that happened… yeah, Ethan's reputation would be doomed.
"Oh really?" Saitama dropped his finger from his nose and leaned forward. "If anyone else said that, maybe I'd believe it. But you saying something so wholesome? That just makes me suspicious. You're not scheming something again, are you?"
"No! Absolutely not!" Ethan waved his hands frantically. "I swear on my honor! Totally clean!"
"Honor? You still have that kind of thing?" Saitama deadpanned.
"Hmm… I have to agree," Genos chimed in with a serious nod. "Master Ethan, are you sure you possess something like honor?"
"Haha, of course! Of course I do! I'd never lose my honor, no sir!" Ethan scratched his head and forced a laugh — though for some reason, his heart was starting to race.It's just in my head, he told himself. I'm not guilty of anything. I'm fine! I'm fine!
"You're totally guilty," Saitama said flatly.
"Affirmative," Genos added. "Clearly guilty."
"I am not!!" Ethan protested loudly, just as he was about to start some ridiculous demonstration to "prove" his integrity.
And that's when the door opened.
In stepped Sayuriko — cat ears twitching, frilly maid uniform perfectly in place, and a bright smile on her (his) face.
"Master! It's already lunchtime!" Sayuriko announced sweetly. "The meal is ready and waiting for you at home~"
The smile froze right off Ethan's face. His body went rigid. "H-ha… ha-ha, right! I'll, uh, head home now!"
"Master, if you wait too long, the food will get cold," Sayuriko added softly. "And when it's cold, it doesn't taste as good…"
"Haha, y-yeah, you're right!" Ethan stammered, limbs moving like a robot as he shuffled toward the door. "Hey, uh, Saitama! Genos! Why don't you come over and eat with me? Sayuriko's, uh, cooked up a huge lunch!"
Saitama and Genos exchanged a look. Something about this was… off. Since when did Ethan invite anyone to his place? The guy was acting like Sayuriko scared him to death. The whole thing reeked of weird.
"Nah," Saitama said after a moment. "We've still got food here. If we don't eat it soon, it'll go bad."
"Yes, that's correct, Master," Genos nodded solemnly.
Of course, what they were really thinking was: If Ethan's inviting us over, it's definitely a trap.No way they were walking into that.
"Oh, I see… then maybe I'll just stay and eat with you two instead!" Ethan said quickly. "Wouldn't want good food to go to waste, after all!"
Saitama frowned. "Nope. There's only enough for me and Genos. None for you."
"Affirmative," Genos agreed without blinking.
It was almost impressive — spending enough time around Saitama had even taught the cyborg how to lie with a straight face. Not that his robotic body was capable of blushing anyway.
"Master…" Sayuriko tilted her head, looking hurt. "Do you really dislike me that much? Did I do something wrong? Is it because I'm a bo—mmph!"
Before the word boy could even escape, Ethan clamped a hand over Sayuriko's mouth. "N-no! Of course not! How could I ever hate you, Sayuriko? Ha… ha-ha-ha. Let's, uh, go home and eat! Yeah! Food!"
Walking side by side with Sayuriko always made Ethan's skin crawl — not out of disgust, but sheer confusion. Sayuriko stuck to him like taffy, completely devoted. He'd sworn to serve Ethan as his maid for life, out of gratitude for saving him.
No matter what Ethan said or did, he couldn't get rid of him. Yell at him, and he'd just lower his head and start crying. And really — how was Ethan supposed to beat up someone who wanted to be his maid?
Sometimes he honestly wished Sayuriko wasn't so damn cute. If he'd been some burly musclehead instead, Ethan could've just punched him halfway to death and ended it there. But no — he had to be a soft, sweet-faced boy maid with cat ears and puppy eyes.
Ethan sighed and muttered under his breath, "I'm just too soft-hearted… too soft-hearted…"
It had basically become his theme song lately.
"Ugh, damn it! Why didn't you just change your gender during all that cybernetic modification nonsense?" Ethan shouted suddenly. "If you were a girl, I wouldn't be stuck like this!"
Sayuriko blinked. "Does Master wish for me to undergo a gender reassignment? If that would make you happy, I'll arrange it immediately."
"Stop! Don't you dare!" Ethan yelped, waving his arms. "You're fine just the way you are! Ha… ha-ha-ha…"
The last thing he needed was for Sayuriko to actually go through with that. If he turned into a real girl, what then? Would Ethan have to treat him as a boy? A girl? And what if one night, after a few drinks, something… happened?
Yeah. That way led straight to hell.
"I guess… there's only one option left." Ethan glanced at Sayuriko, who was happily humming to himself while mopping the floor. His face darkened. "I'll have to run away from home."
"..."
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