He panicked a little after seeing me in that condition. Yes, I have tried to hide up my tears, but I have forgotten, I have really forgotten that it's him—him. How can I hide myself from him? I know wherever I go, whatever I feel, he always catches it, always.
"What happened to you? Why you look soo miserable?" he asked me worriedly.
"Nothing, it's just I am practicing for emotional scene to feel the emotions well. Actually, I am not a good actor like you, so I need to do some practice," I said this to him just to convince him that whatever I am saying to him he should believe it.
But then he asked me, "Practicing for the emotional scene in front of the hotel's main entrance? What do you really think?" he asked me.
"Hmm," I said.
"Do you really think I am a fool or a kindergarten kid who believes you, what you say?"
I looked down at the ground because I know, I damn know that he really caught me this time, he really does. But what should I tell him? Did I really tell him what happened just now between me and Ji Juan? Did I really need to tell him what hurtful things he have said and left from here after saying that? I asked this question to myself again and again. This one is keep going in my mind again and again, but I don't—it's not that I don't, it's that I can't. I can't tell him about our conversation. I know he'll get mad on Ji Juan again and will straight go to him, and right now no one's mind is at peace, neither Ji Juan nor him.
"No, nothing has happened. Aren't we were going to get the best hotpot meal here in Beijing? Let's go there." I held his hands in mine and literally tried to drag him from there, but how could I really do that? Yuan holds my hands and stopped me and started looking into my eyes. I really can't handle this. I moved my eyes to somewhere else, but he is still looking at me.
Then I said to him, "Stop looking at me with those eyes."
"What eyes?" he asked me.
"This," I said.
"I am just seeing that my pretty liar has got depleted from her post," he said.
"What—what do you mean?" I asked.
"I only mean that now you are not that good pretty liar. Now your lies can be caught, like today—just now I caught it," he said.
"No, no, I haven't told any kind of lie just now. What are you talking about? I am really not getting it," I said it while getting a bit panicked, but then I tried my best to hide it up, but still he catches me.
"I am not falling for your plan. Don't do this. I am really not falling for it." Then after saying that he went straight inside the hotel.
I ran behind him to stop him, calling his name continuously, but a few people passing from there—I think they heard that I am calling his name. Then I lowered my voice so that no one can hear it; otherwise everyone knows here that Yuan is staying in this hotel and again there will be huge crowd will gather here. But before I say any other thing, he is already inside the lift, and before I reach there the lift door closed. I know where he is going, so I took another lift and went to the floor where I know exactly he is heading to.
I flinched a bit inside the lift as my fear from lift never left me, but now I have to do it, otherwise things and situations will go out of my hands. And finally I have reached that floor where I saw him standing outside Ji Juan's room and the door is half opened, and one of the hotel staff came out from that room and said to Yuan that the person who is staying inside this room has just checked out.
What? Ji Juan checked out from here? Why? Aren't we are having shoot? Then why did he do that? Or he just didn't want to stay in this hotel with me and Yuan. Maybe he takes some other hotel to stay there. I asked these questions to myself.
Then I immediately ran towards Yuan and held his hands and said, "Now please let's go from here. It's not like that what you are thinking."
He breathed sharply. I know he is still not convinced with whatever I am saying to him right now, but now at this moment he didn't have any choice left other than believing in me. He just didn't say anything, he just nodded his head a little—very little—and then we both went away from that room and that floor. The room left alone, empty, just like the chapters that have ended and now waiting for the new ones to write their new stories there.
We left that room behind us. We took a lift back to the ground floor. We both stepped inside the lift. The lift doors closed. We both are standing there just right beside each other, but we haven't spoken a word to each other. Then the light of the lift slightly shakes—just a little, but very much enough for me to get scared and bring that fear back in me. I just closed my eyes tightly and I really don't know when my hand went into his sleeves and I grabbed it. I held his sleeves a bit too tightly while closing my eyes without even realising he might get an idea that I have some issues with the lift now, but he didn't say a word.
After a minute, when I opened my eyes, I just realised that I am still holding his shirt's sleeves a bit too tightly and I immediately took my hand back and left it and said, "I am soo sorry, soo sorry. This shirt must be very expensive and look what did I do to it. I just made soo much creases over here on your sleeves. Your shirt got ruined because of me. I am sorry," I said that to him.
But then what he said I have never expected. It's not that I didn't think that he'll say this, but it's that I didn't know that I matter that much.
He said while looking at me—he bends down a little, his hands on his knees. Now after many days he did this posture while talking to me. Now his eyes are meeting mine at the same level. Then he said, "Nothing is expensive in this world than you," and that word in itself holds very much power in it. I have started looking here and there around the lift just to avoid that eye contact with him, I don't know why, but still.
Then he said while putting his hand forward towards me, "Make as much creases on it you want to." It's just like a person offering his own self to me.
Then he continued and said, "Nothing in this world is more precious and expensive than my silly girl."
"Really, did I worth that in your life?" I asked him.
"Do I need to answer this question? Isn't this a soo foolish one?" he said it to me.
But before I say any other thing, the lift doors opened and we have reached the ground floor where we want—of course the lift will reach here only, we were not in the lift for hours, I said it to myself.
Then we both headed out from the hotel to have a hotpot meal that we have discussed. Then the day went like that, and the other morning hit the windows of Beijing hotel rooms and I woke up—and as usual your dearest Zhao Shiza is still late. I hurried up myself and went straight to the restroom and got freshened up. While getting ready for going to the set, here I start thinking about yesterday, as yesterday was quite heavy for me—the emotional ups and downs I faced or experienced yesterday I haven't ever experienced in my whole life.
But then my eyes went to my phone and I saw that it's eight am in the morning. I am getting late, I need to hurry up. You should do your overthinking later in your free hours, Miss Zhao Shiza, I said it to myself. Then within twenty minutes I got ready and a knock appeared on my door. I opened it and it's one of the assistants of Director Li, and he said, "Miss Zhao, we have brought the car here. We can go for the set right from here only. Are you ready?" he asked me.
I smiled and said yes. Then I took my bag and phone both and went out of the room.
Then on our way to the lobby I asked that assistant, because I know I have seen him on the sets of Shanghai where we were shooting—he is a good person, communicating with him is quite easy, he didn't think much about anyone or judge them—so I asked him, "Did Mr. Xu Yuan is also coming with us?"
He said, "No, Miss Zhao. Mr. Xu Yuan has went to the set one hour earlier than you with his team and studio members."
"Ooo," I said it. Maybe he have some scenes that he needed to prepare. Whatever it is, I just didn't think much about it.
Then we both reached the car that have been sent for me to pick me up, and after the journey of thirty minutes from this hotel we have reached the set.
"Miss Zhao, your makeup room is on left side and costumes are also there. You can go get ready for the shoot," the assistant said this to me.
I smiled and nodded my head, then he left from there after saying this to me.
My eyes have started searching for Yuan the moment my feet entered the set, but I didn't even see a glimpse of him here. But I saw something else. I saw Director Li yelling at one of the crew members very angrily. I haven't seen him ever from these months like this. He always seemed very calm and composed person to me every time, but now right now it's just like I am seeing a very different side of Director Li that I barely knew even existed in him.
I tried to hear what he is saying to that crew member but I couldn't able to because I am a little far away from that spot, so I stepped a few steps forward to them and then what I heard I couldn't able to believe it in my ears as I heard Director Li saying that how could he…