My eyelids felt glued shut with cheap superglue. The kind that comes in those tiny tubes you buy at the street market because you're too broke for the good stuff.
I groaned, expecting the familiar ache of sleeping on my lumpy mattress back in my one-room apartment in Lagos. Instead, my body felt… wrong. I felt too light. Too tall. Even too clean. Like someone had Photoshopped my existence and forgotten to save the original layer.
I cracked one eye open.
Sunlight poured through tall arched windows framed in gold filigree. The ceiling was vaulted stone, carved with swirling runes that glowed faintly blue. Silk sheets, actual silk, clung to my skin like they had been ironed onto me. And the bed? It was the size of my entire former living room.
"What the actual—"
My voice came out deeper, smoother and richer. Like I had swallowed a voice actor's demo reel.
I shot upright with my heart hammering against my chest.
I needed a mirror. There had to be a mirror.
Across the room, there were marble floors, persian rugs that probably cost more than my life stood a full-length with gilded monstrosity. I stumbled toward it on legs that were longer than I remembered, bare feet slapping cold stone.
The reflection staring back wasn't me.
Black hair swept back in that annoyingly perfect "just woke up like this" style. Sharp jawline, high cheekbones, eyes the color of storm clouds with violet flecks. Pale skin that had clearly never seen a traffic or harmattan dust. A body sculpted like someone had spent three years in the gym and then said "nah, make it anime pretty."
I was wearing nothing but low-slung black silk pajama pants that looked designer and felt criminal against my skin.
I touched my face. The reflection copied me perfectly.
"Okay," I whispered. "This is either the best dream ever, or I've been isekai'd into the world's horniest dating sim."
As if the universe heard me and decided to flex, a translucent blue screen materialized right in front of my eyes with a cheerful ding!
[Eros System – Online]
[Welcome back, Alister Von Draguhn]
[Current Status: Prince of the Fallen Draguhn Lineage | Level 1 | Virgin (Technically)]
[Main Quest Unlocked: First Taste of Destiny]
Objective: Achieve Intimacy Event ★ with at least one heroine before the Academy Entrance Ceremony tomorrow.
Reward: Class Unlock – "Eros Sovereign" (Rare) | +500 Affection Points (Distributable) | One Random Legendary Item
Failure Penalty: Affinity Reset to 0% with all heroines + "Cursed Celibacy" debuff (permanent -50% charm to opposite sex)
I blinked. Then blinked again.
"Virgin (Technically)?" I muttered. "What does that even—wait, no, never mind. This is definitely not a normal system."
Another window popped up beside it, this one framed in pink hearts.
[Heroine Affinity Tracker]
- Seraphina Valmont (Sword Saintess Candidate) – 12%
- Liora Nightshade (Succubus Exchange Student) – 28%
- Elowen Sylvaris (High Elf Archmage Prodigy) – 5%
- Drakara Ignis (Dragonkin Third Princess) – 19%
- [Locked – More heroines will be revealed upon progression]
I stared at the percentages like they owed me money.
"Twelve percent? We've never even met!"
A soft knock echoed from the massive double doors.
"Lord Alister?" A melodic voice filtered through the wood. "The head maid sent me to assist with your morning preparations. May I enter?"
My brain short-circuited.
In every isekai story I had binged at 3 a.m., this was the part where the busty maid walked in, tripped, and face-planted into my crotch. Or spilled tea on my crotch. Or just straight-up offered to wash my back while wearing nothing but an apron.
I swallowed hard.
"Uh… one second!"
I glanced around frantically. I needed a robe. There had to be a robe.
I yanked open a wardrobe bigger than my old apartment's kitchen. Rows of tailored black-and-silver uniforms, capes, tunics—everything screamed "rich fantasy prince." I grabbed the first robe-like thing I saw (velvet, midnight blue, embroidered with silver dragons) and threw it on, tying it hastily.
"Come in," I called, trying to sound princely and not like a man having an existential crisis.
The door opened.
She was… exactly what the genre demanded.
Long silver hair tied in a neat ponytail, maid uniform that somehow managed to be both modest and indecent (short skirt, thigh-high stockings, low neckline that defied physics). Crimson eyes that glowed faintly, small black horns peeking from her hair, and a tail swishing behind her like an excited cat.
Succubus traits. Check.
She curtsied deeply, chest bouncing in a way that felt personally targeted.
"Good morning, my lord. I am Lilithia, your personal attendant assigned by the academy. Today is your final day of private tutoring before tomorrow's entrance ceremony."
She stepped closer, smile sweet and professional—until her nostrils flared slightly.
Her pupils dilated.
"Oh…" she breathed, voice dropping an octave. "Your scent today is… unusually potent, Lord Alister."
I took an instinctive step back. My calves hit the bed.
"Potent? Like… bad?"
"No, no!" She flushed, cheeks turning rose-gold. "It's… intoxicating. Like spiced wine and midnight thunder. I—I apologize. It's unprofessional of me."
The Eros System chimed happily.
[Liora Nightshade Affinity +8% → 36%]
[Hidden Trait Activated: "Pheromone Overload" – Your latent curse amplifies natural charm within 5 meters of demonkin bloodlines]
I stared at the notification like it had personally insulted my mother.
"Pheromone Overload? Curse? What curse?!"
Lilithia tilted her head, tail curling.
"My lord? Are you unwell? Your face is quite red."
"I'm fine," I lied. "Just… processing breakfast. Or lack thereof."
She giggled and stepped even closer, holding out a silver tray with a crystal goblet of something dark red.
"Freshly squeezed blood orange elixir, infused with vitality herbs. The headmistress insists all nobles drink it before the ceremony to… prepare the body."
Prepare the body.
Right.
I took the goblet, mostly to put something between us.
She didn't back away.
Instead, she leaned in, nose almost brushing my collarbone, inhaling deeply.
"Mmm… it's stronger up close." Her voice was a purr now. "Lord Alister… have you perhaps awakened some forbidden bloodline ability overnight?"
I nearly choked on the juice.
"No! Definitely not! This is all—"
A second knock—sharper, more authoritative.
"Lilithia!" Another voice, this one crisp and commanding. "You are taking far too long. The prince has sword drills with Lady Seraphina in twenty minutes."
Lilithia pouted, tail drooping.
"Yes, Head Maid…"
She gave me one last lingering look, crimson eyes practically glowing.
"Until later, my lord. I look forward to… assisting you further."
She curtsied again—slowly—and slipped out.
The moment the door closed, I sagged against the bedpost.
"Okay. Deep breaths. This is fine. Classic harem setup. Overpowered charm aura. System that wants me to sleep with the entire cast. Academy full of beautiful, battle-ready girls who all want a piece of me for plot reasons."
I rubbed my temples.
"I'm pretty sure this is a dating sim… not a pornhwa!"
But even as I said it, another window appeared.
[Urgent Side Quest: "Morning Warm-Up"]
Objective: Allow Seraphina Valmont to "accidentally" press against you during sword drills at least three times.
Reward: +15% Affinity with Seraphina + One free "Ecchi CG Unlock" ticket
Failure: -10% Affinity (she thinks you're avoiding her)
I stared at the screen.
Then at the practice sword propped against the wall.
Then back at the screen.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Somewhere in the distance, a bell tolled—deep, ominous, like the opening notes of a very lewd symphony.
Tomorrow was the academy entrance ceremony.
Today was apparently "make every heroine horny" day.
And I, Alister Von Draguhn—formerly a broke Nigerian guy who just wanted to finish that one webnovel before bed—had zero idea how to survive it.
But one thing was crystal clear.
This world wasn't going to let me play it safe.
Not even for a single chapter.
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