It's already been more than four hours since he went out, I don't even know where he is. I'm so angry at him for hiding all those newspapers from me, I know he wanted to protect me, but I need to know everything. All it would take is one piece of information that he doesn't understand and that I do, I want to do everything I can to find them.
With exhaustion, I fell asleep with my head resting on my arm on the table. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door, I was startled, but quickly got up to open it.
-Ohh Paul, what are you doing here?
-Excuse me for coming so late, but you absolutely have to come with me to look for Heinrich.
-Why? What's going on?
-He's dead drunk and I can't get him up, and I'd rather avoid waking Suzanne.
I nod and follow him. We get closer to the bar and I spot Heinrich lying on the bar in the distance.
-Ah, you're finally here. Said the bartender.
We move closer to Heinrich, my sense of smell was immediately disgusted by the strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes.
-Heinrich, come on, wake up, Ruth is here.
Despite that, he stayed there without moving, still asleep.
-Heinrich, come on, let's go to our bed.
All of a sudden, he stood up and looked me straight in the eyes, it was as if he wanted to tell me something without using a single sound. He walked around me and headed for the exit.
-I thought he couldn't even stand up. I said to Paul.
He didn't even have time to react before I had already left. Heinrich was walking quite fast, for someone drunk that was rather strange. Then, in the distance, I saw Heinrich enter our building, I was immediately reassured.
A few minutes later.
-Heinrich, come on, let's go to bed. I said, trying to lift him from his chair.
-I don't feel like it, leave me here, please.
I decide to squat down.
-Listen, I'm really sorry for asking you every time what's going on in your head, I won't ask you anymore if it helps you feel better, but you have to know that it's important for me to know you, you are my only family right now and I need you.
His face turns toward me, he caresses my face with his hand.
-I know, and I'm also sorry for reacting that way and you were right, I shouldn't have hidden the existence of all those newspapers from you.
What he had just told me touched me, he understood how I felt. I feel him swaying as he struggles to stay awake.
-Come on, let's go to sleep.
He finally lets himself be guided, we head to our bedroom, I lay him down and then lie down myself, this day has been very exhausting, and I don't feel like waking up to live yet another day in ignorance of where my family is and of Heinrich's past.
The next morning.
The sunlight dazzled me, I turned my head and noticed Heinrich's absence. I get up and head to the living room, I see Heinrich sitting on a chair in the distance.
-Good morning.
-Ah good morning, did you sleep well?
-Yes, and you?
-You could say that.
He was very calm and composed compared to yesterday, it felt good not to see his face filled with worry and sadness.
-I thought all night.
-Why?
-I couldn't stop thinking about your family, so I went back through all the newspapers you had put in your bedroom, I put them all together. And I noticed that the dates are incorrect, they don't match the events my spy described to me.
-What do you mean by that, that all the newspapers we receive are false?
-At least many of them are. But by the way Ruth, I imagine you bought quite a lot of newspapers?
-Uh yes, at the grocery store at the end of the street.
-I wonder if the newspaper he sells in his shop is false and if he's trying to spread bad information, I don't know if what I'm thinking is correct, but in any case, now I have serious doubts about that man.
-What would you want to do?
-There's nothing to do, we don't have any concrete proof to show that this grocer is at fault. And then remember, we are survivors, him, he's from here.
I had never really paid attention to what he looked like physically, I was so focused on the horrific discoveries I made with each newspaper. But it's true that he had already asked me several times where I lived and what my name was. But of course, I said nothing, only my first name, but I think I shouldn't have.
The weeks passed very quickly, since what Heinrich said about the grocery store, I'm panicked about who might really be behind that smiling face I saw every morning. But at the same time, I'm curious, I want to understand who he is and maybe he too is a victim of his newspaper supplier. I have no idea at all, I'm completely lost.
-Hey Ruth, would you mind coming with me to do the shopping, I could use a little help? Said Suzanne.
-Ohh yes of course, I'm going to do my shopping as well, that way we help each other. I said, smiling.
Suzanne and I go out and prepare our arms to carry the heavy grocery bags, it feels good to see Suzanne again, it had been a while since we had spent time together. Despite our closeness, I never dared to talk to her about those newspapers, and besides, I fear her reaction, she might take it badly since I hid it from her. Without realizing it, we had arrived at the grocery store, and of course it was the one that had been on my mind for some time.
The doorbell rang, but a heavy silence hung over the shop, Suzanne, not paying attention, does her shopping, I follow her, grab a few vegetables. But my eyes search for the shopkeeper. I felt goosebumps rise on my back, I turn around and notice the grocer, smiling in a strange way, I would even say a smug smile.
-Ahh hello sir, I'm looking for apples, where did you put them? Suzanne asked.
-They're just to the right of the entrance, madam.
Suzanne heads toward the entrance while I stay frozen, staring at him.
-Everything alright, Ruth?
-Hmm, yes of course, and you?
-I'm fine, are you here to get a new newspaper? It's been a while since I last saw you, I was starting to lose hope of seeing that pretty face again.
I laughed awkwardly, what was that supposed to mean? Heinrich was right, this grocer is very strange.
-Ahh no, as you can see I'm here, and yes I'm here to get a new newspaper. I said, putting on my best smile.
After finishing our shopping and paying, we headed back to our apartments, I felt a sense of relief.
-Everything okay?
-Didn't you find the grocer a bit strange?
-I admit I didn't pay much attention to him, but it's true that when we were paying, he kept staring at you, he must find you beautiful, which isn't wrong. She said, smiling at me.
Unfortunately Suzanne didn't understand. It doesn't matter, I prefer not to give her more problems, I know she's very sad about the loss of her child, she never talks to me about it, but I've already seen her cry her eyes out, yet every time she made me believe it was the onions, even though most of the time she was just doing the dishes. But I prefer not to ask her, I think she just doesn't want to think about it any more or have to explain it to me.
-You're probably right, he has a crush on me, but I prefer Heinrich.
-That's not surprising, Heinrich is a handsome man, I can't believe he's 20 years old. I admit I'm jealous that you found such a handsome man to be engaged to.
-Ah yes I know, he's very handsome, I'm lucky.
-He's the lucky one, you're very beautiful too Ruth, after what you've been through, you don't let yourself die of grief over the loss of your parents, and I admire your courage.
At the end of her sentence, I dropped the newspaper from my bag onto the floor in front of my door.
-You dropped your newspaper?
-Ah yes, thank you. You know Suzanne, I admire you, you're brave, and you have the right to come talk to me if you need to.
-I know, and thank you. I'll leave you, I promised Paul I'd make him a good meal. See you later.
-Of course, see you next time.
After putting away the groceries, I began to look at the newspaper in detail. This time nothing too serious, just the movement of German troops toward southern Poland. I set the newspaper aside and focus on preparing the meal, my mind is still quite disturbed by the grocer's reactions, I have a bad feeling about what might happen in the coming days.