Zerath hesitated, his heart resisting the withdrawal of his hand from over her cheek.
A bitter melancholy engulfed him, knowing that this was the last time he could stand so close to Vivia - as a man who had fallen in love with the most beautiful woman in the world. Who wished for nothing else but to spend his life with her. Who longed to see her breathtaking smile. Who let him feel ticklish and giddy all over. Who made him nervous and excited at the same time.
But tomorrow was different. Tomorrow, Zerath would be Crown Prince Zerath, formally bidding her farewell forever. He would watch her step into the carriage and disappear from his sight, never to see her again. Simply the mere thought of separation ached his heart to no end. He gradually withdrew, every centimeter of increasing distance twisting him mercilessly.
It stopped with Vivia's intervention, as her fingers gently but tremblingly wrapped over his.
"Lady Vivia, right now I'm," he couldn't form the right words to express his state of mind. His heart slammed hard against his chest, his breaths becoming a chaotic mess.
"I feel stirred. It's like I can feel my heart in my ears. Everything rings so loudly that I feel dizzy. I'd kindly ask if you'd let me step back…for my own sanity."
"And if I don't?"
His gaze peered into hers as if he would suck out her very soul.
"I might be tempted to show my shameless side, which I really don't want to."
Yet with this dangerous challenge that wasn't good for her heart, there was no change in Vivia's stance. A momentary rattle gleamed across her emerald eyes, but nothing after that.
"You said you wanted to speak first. You did. It means that it's my turn now."
His breath stopped in his throat as if he had forgotten to breathe. The wish for earth to tear apart and swallow him whole echoed in the deepest pits of his heart. The mere thought of Vivia's response intimidated him more than dying at the claws of a ferocious wild beast. He tried to gather bits and pieces of his poise - if any remained intact in the first place.
"Please go ahead."
Her first words roused the air after a few long, agonizing moments.
"Crown Prince, you haven't betrayed me."
"That's not true," his response was instantaneous.
"I thought it was my turn to speak."
"...Apologies."
Her slow nod followed.
"I'll say it again, Zerath. You haven't betrayed me. You said you used me, but wasn't I, too, using you for my own agenda? I had no place to go with my life being in danger. I took shelter in your realm to protect my life. Even if you didn't have your own political interests, or bringing a human would've put you in a difficult position, I wouldn't have given up."
She took a thoughtful pause.
"I don't see your actions as a betrayal because you're a demon and I'm a human. Our worlds have lived with such hatred and distance for so long that it's impossible to trust each other at first glance. It'd be naive if we did. Trust is built over time. That's what happened as I spent more time with you. I began to trust you…"
Her grip over his faintly shivering hand tightened. Mistiness welled in her eyes as if she would cry. Such were the palpitations that throbbed and convulsed her heart upside down. It was as intoxicating as it was frightening.
"And I began to love you."
She stopped at that, unable to utter further. She bared her heart open in a way she never thought was possible. And yet, as the silence lengthened, as the dimming light of fireworks now slowly cast long shadows across Zerath's handsome features, the warmth in her chest took the shape of something chilly and prickly. Her fingers curled against her dress, gripping the fabric as her chest exploded with all kinds of clashing emotions.
"This is a dream, isn't it?"
It was only after hearing his voice that Vivia could finally breathe.
"This isn't a dream. But I did think I had been living in one for this entire time. A sweet dream where I fall in love and spend the rest of my life with the man. I didn't know what he'd be like, but all the days that I spent with you made me realize that,
'Ah. He'd be someone like Zerath. A strong man. A kind prince. A good son.'
Then it gradually dawned upon me that he wouldn't be just someone like Zerath - he had to be Zerath and nobody else. The times you enveloped me with your coats became my most precious memories. The days you'd talk about your realm were what I had started looking forward to. Our banters are what I cherished the most. Your smile shone the brightest to me. It felt so peaceful that I thought…I could live like this forever."
A hint of quiet resignation trembled her lashes.
"Until it occurred to me that some dreams are impossible to fulfill."
A painful silence hung in the air.
"Are you thinking about Madam Drisennia's fortune," Zerath's low voice broke the silence.
Vivia blinked, momentarily stunned by his knowledge of that meeting.
Did Eurus…? Wait, is that why he suddenly took off?
She laughed it off to hide her embarrassment. "Of course not. Why would her prophecy affect me?"
"Because she asked you if you had fallen for a demon here. It's a long shot, but did you assume the veil-born she was referring to…" he held his breath, "could possibly be our child in the future? Because you thought our relationship could propel that prophecy to become true?"
The question pierced her as if icy shackles locked her feet together. Though trying to sound nonchalant about her feelings, the stinging hurt in her voice betrayed her. As her breaths turned slightly ragged, she took half a step back to avoid his scrutinizing gaze - but the distance reduced to nothingness yet again as Zerath closed the gap.
"Vivia…Please say it again," Gently squeezing her hands, his own fingers shook as if she was a mere apparition that would disappear from his sight at any time.
A faint mistiness blurred her vision as she couldn't find the words that he wanted to hear.
"I said it once, Zerath. I said it because I couldn't see you burdened with guilt over something that I wasn't even furious about to begin with. But I cannot say it again. Do not…make me say it again."
She bit her quivering lip, tears brimming her eyes. Nothing was more painful than to confess and feel the joy of her love being returned as well, yet to face a wall in front of them that they would simply be unable to overcome. The hatred, the past, the politics - everything stood in front of them as humongous as Mount Lavos.
"Why not?"
"I cannot-"
"It's simply a prophecy, Vivia. We don't know anything about it. We cannot even assume that it's talking about us. Our future, our feelings - I don't want to see you close your heart because of a prophecy we understand nothing about."
"But we understand the hatred between our realms."
Zerath pressed his lips.
"The prophecy isn't powerful enough to make me falter, Zerath, but the repercussions of destroying the peace of our countries does. It'll mean war for a human and a demon - a Crown Prince and a Princess at that - to fall in love."
Tears fell from her eyes, her heart shattering with the fear of the future.
"I don't even know how I'll live as Clairette. How am I supposed to live like her? Who killed her? Who killed me? Why were we killed? Will I have to give up everything that I lived for to become a princess that I didn't wish for?"
Silence.
"There're so many questions that I don't have an answer to. So I wonder if amidst all these questions, am I strong enough to wait for the answer about our future? And if I find that answer, then am I strong enough to stand up for it? Forgetting all the ramifications my love would cause, can I simply run into your arms only because my heart wants it? You cannot do it either Zerath. Our identities put us in an impossible position."
As if plunged into ice-cold water, Zerath closed his eyes. Watching Vivia return his feelings had made him the happiest man in the world - only to realize yet again how their positions and history crushed their hopes into dust.
Our love would overcome all the obstacles.
Was not something that Zerath wanted to promise so carelessly and thoughtlessly. Love simply wasn't enough to erase the blood and past between their races. Not when they had to shoulder their kingdoms.
His thumb brushed against her cheek, wiping off the tear stain. Her helplessness made his heart ache as if it stabbed him with a million punctures. His daze fell apart when Vivia raised the small velvet box with the Golden Tranquil brooch shimmering eloquently under the fireworks.
"Will you accept my present? Don't reject it this time because of guilt. I've fallen for a man who deserves all the happiness in the world."
Zerath studied the brooch as if contemplating something deep. A soft, beautiful smile eventually bloomed on his lips.
"Will you pin it on me, Vivia?"
A faint crimson blush painted her cheeks as her gaze lowered. She pinned the delicate brooch on his coat, her heart pounding in her chest. The little jewels on the broom sparkled with a mesmerizing shine that mirrored Zerath's beautiful golden irises.
"D-Done…"
All of a sudden, the crisp sound of his coat fluttering past the wind reverberated, and Zerath knelt, taking her aback. Holding her hand in his, he left a small but firm kiss on her knuckles. The biggest firework blanketed the sky at that exact moment, its endless colors showering upon them like blessings. The hesitation of his position had paralyzed him at first, but Vivia's reciprocation now planted a tiny seed of hope.
"I might not be able to promise you a happy future, Vivia, but I promise that I won't back down until I do everything in my power to make that future a reality. A future where you'll be my bride. This is a demon's promise."