Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
Zhongli slowly sipped his tea. Ever since he had faked his death, he no longer even had to appear at the Rite of Descension. He had completely settled into leisure.
"Old Zhong, you really are a retired old man now," Hu Tao teased.
Every day, all he did was drink tea and stroll around with his bird. What a carefree life.
"Director, should you need my help, simply say the word," Zhongli said.
It was not as though he had truly become useless to society. There simply was no place that required him. As Rex Lapis, in the current age, humanity was capable of thinking for itself. There were also very few demon-god-level powers causing calamities anymore. As a consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, he was generally only needed for the more troublesome parts of funeral rites.
"Of course. It's not like I can't afford to keep you around either. Other people want to make offerings to Lord Rex Lapis and don't even get the chance," Hu Tao said.
Zhongli fell silent.
Hearing the word "offerings" come out of Hu Tao's mouth really made it hard for him to keep a straight face. He was still alive, and he was not some figure out of myth.
"Zhongli, someone wants to go see Rex Lapis's gravestone." Koji brought Miko into Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
What the hell!
The moment Miko saw Zhongli, the corner of her mouth twitched. Koji had brought her right in front of Rex Lapis himself and then said she wanted to go see Rex Lapis's gravestone. She seriously suspected Koji was trying to get her killed.
"Rex Lapis's gravestone..." Zhongli's mouth twitched as well. He did occasionally go look at it himself. After all, the feeling was rather peculiar.
"Never mind. I'm not looking anymore," Yae Miko hurriedly said. Even if she wanted to see it, she could not have the person himself take her there.
"How have the Electro Archon sisters been recently?" Zhongli asked.
"Her Highness Makoto has been handling official work. As for Her Highness Ei..." Miko did not know how to phrase it. She should probably save Ei some face.
Zhongli understood instantly. However, he did not mock her. They were the same, after all. They were all enjoying retirement and wandering around aimlessly.
"Zhongli, are gods usually this good at slacking off?" Hu Tao asked.
"The Archon War lasted so many years, and after that came so many more years of governing their nations. Of course they should enjoy themselves properly now," Koji said with a laugh.
Zhongli nodded. The wording was crude, but the reasoning was sound. After working hard for so many years, it was only natural to enjoy himself.
"Just think about Venti."
Among the Seven Archons, Venti was the biggest slacker. Unless Mondstadt suffered some major upheaval, he basically never showed himself. He simply wandered the mortal world at leisure, even more excessively than Zhongli.
There was no arguing with that. That drunkard bard was far too free.
"Miko, you're here."
"Lady Guizhong, please don't touch my ears."
Guizhong had to stand slightly on tiptoe before she could touch the tip of the fox ear behind Miko's head.
Miko was very helpless. Her ears were simply too attractive.
"Don't be so stingy. Your ears feel really nice," Guizhong said with a giggle.
"Zhongli, I bought you new clothes. Do you want to try them on?"
Zhongli paused slightly, then said helplessly, "Guizhong, there are already many clothes you bought in my wardrobe. There is truly no need to buy more."
Although he could change his clothes himself, Guizhong's idea was that he should keep up with the changes of the times, so she loved buying all sorts of novel and good-looking outfits.
"So you do know I bought that many. And yet you never change out of this outfit," Guizhong said, rolling her eyes.
As a god, he could naturally ensure his clothes never became dirty. He could also clean them with divine power, so there was generally no need to change clothes.
"Old Zhong, this Director thinks Sister Guizhong is right. I think you could change your style a little," Hu Tao said.
"Hu Tao, aren't you always wearing that outfit too?" Koji suddenly said.
Hu Tao fell silent.
She looked down at her own clothes. The outfit she wore most often really was this one. It was also clothing in Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's style: solemn, as a sign of respect toward matters of life and death.
What funeral business would wear flashy, gaudy clothes? Only during certain festivals would she change into more casual attire.
Miko sank into thought. Her own outfit had never changed either. She was also rather reclusive and had no particular desire to go shopping, so she was too lazy to change her clothes.
Maybe she really should try some new clothes.
"Guizhong, do you know what Xianyun and the others have been doing recently? Why have they not come over?" Zhongli asked, changing the topic.
"I haven't seen them for some time either. I think they've been researching a fully automatic cooking mechanism," Guizhong said with a smile.
Several adepti getting together to make something like that truly showed how idle they were. They really had nothing else to do.
"Can something like that really be made?" Hu Tao could not help asking curiously.
Cloud Retainer truly had perseverance. She had failed again and again, yet she had still never given up.
"I remember Cloud Retainer had this idea years ago. Every time she failed, she would blow herself completely black," Guizhong recalled.
"Was there a roasted-meat smell?" Koji asked.
Cloud Retainer's true form was an immortal crane. Ordinary cranes would drop two pieces of fowl when killed, so surely Cloud Retainer would have to drop a few more pieces than that.
"It never went that far. With adeptal power protecting her body, she wouldn't be injured. At most, her appearance would be affected," Guizhong said with a smile.
"Let's go have a look."
Mt. Aocang.
Boom!
They had arrived at just the right time. As soon as everyone reached the place, an earth-shaking explosion rang out from the abode, followed immediately by billowing black smoke surging out.
Oh, oh, oh—
They all smelled something burnt. There was no need to think about it. It had definitely failed again, exactly as expected.
"Cough, cough, cough..."
Xianyun walked out. Her face was covered in black ash, but she did not look discouraged. She was already used to this sort of thing.
"Hm? Your Excellency... Why have you all come?" Xianyun wiped the ash off the red half-rim glasses covering her eyes and asked in surprise.
"We came to see your invention. You didn't blow yourself up?" Koji teased.
"A mere explosion cannot do anything to this adeptus," Xianyun said calmly.
"Xianyun, there's really no need for you to make something like this. Every time, you make such a mess of your abode, and then you have to clean it up," Guizhong could not help saying.
"I have failed so many times already. If I give up now, then the time I wasted before will truly have been wasted," Xianyun said.
She already had a train of thought. Next time, the success rate should increase somewhat.
"Cloud Retainer, what made you think of inventing something like this?" Hu Tao could not help asking.
"I did not want to cook with my own hands. Since a tool could solve the problem of manually making food, I decided to make one myself," Xianyun said.
Everyone present was left speechless. Hadn't she wasted even more time failing at this? But it also proved that Xianyun really had nothing to do. Otherwise, she would never have worked on such a bizarre invention.
(End of Chapter)
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