Kairen fell silent, staring at the man who devoted his life to finding true peace.
In the end, he nodded.
Jiraiya had indeed given his all for this village. Being caught in the middle was never easy.
However, Kairen added, "Don't let anyone come looking for trouble with me. Even if Uchiha Madara starts dancing in front of me, I'll break his legs."
"Kid!"
Uchiha Madara, still eavesdropping, roared the instant he heard Kairen's arrogance.
And this kid dared to say he'd break his legs—he even forbade him from dancing!
If he were thirty years younger, he'd grab this kid by the scruff, shave him bald, and comb him a perfect middle part himself!
Kairen turned around, a faint aura of Uchiha-like dominance spreading from him.
"I am a living volcano. When I erupt, whether friend or foe, no one shall know peace."
Jiraiya nodded. "I'll talk to Sarutobi-sensei. I'll make sure they're careful."
With that, Jiraiya turned and vanished toward the village center.
Orochimaru released his Summoning Technique, flicked out his snake tongue onto the ground, and smirked faintly as he looked into his sleeve—where a small white snake slithered quietly.
He had already collected Kairen's cells.
Kairen's Byakugan caught the subtle shift in Orochimaru's expression and froze.
That snake's smirk looked suspicious—as if it was plotting something!
In his mind, Doctor Snake's voice warned, "Main body, during the battle earlier, Orochimaru might have already taken your cells!"
With Orochimaru's greed, how could he not covet Kairen's cells? His White Snake agents must have already acquired Kairen's genetic material.
Kairen scratched his head. What harm could that possibly do him? Unless Orochimaru started cultivating red blood cells to feed Hidan's curse technique, it was meaningless.
Then another thought struck him.
His current body possessed the Senju Clan Sage Body, its bloodline far superior to that of the Senju or the Uchiha.
If Orochimaru tried to fuse with such a body, he might end up evolving.
But Kairen shook his head again. Orochimaru and Root had already suffered enough headaches just from playing with Hashirama cells.
If he tried to study something of higher quality, he'd be stuck researching it until the end of time without a single result.
Then the Scholar's voice rang out in his mind.
"Main body, have you ever considered how your resurrection actually works?"
Kairen froze.
What was the point of thinking about that? He just got revived, grabbed his blade, and went back to fighting! Who cared what came before resurrection?
The Scholar continued, "I've observed this. When the executioner cut off your head, your blood splattered everywhere. But when you revived, all that blood was gone."
"In other words, your resurrection is a complete one. Every cell and tissue from before death disappears entirely. Then the System's power reconstitutes your body anew."
Kairen thought for a moment. He had once considered constantly harvesting his own Byakugan, nesting infinite copies, and fusing them into a pair of Tenseigan!
But not anymore. Getting the Infinite Shadow Clone bug was already a miracle.
If he also had a Tenseigan bug, he'd just go ahead and make sure everyone in the ninja world had one too—and crush the entire world with it.
Orochimaru's figure flickered—and vanished in an instant.
Kairen watched his retreating shadow and smiled faintly.
You have science. I have cheats. Science will never beat a cheat.
Activating his Byakugan, Kairen sensed a strange chakra signature—hidden two hundred meters away in the grass.
That chakra blended perfectly with the surrounding plants, nearly undetectable.
White Zetsu, realizing Kairen's gaze had found him, froze in disbelief. His concealment ability had always been flawless—no one had ever detected him before!
Could this be... an accident—?
But before he could think further, Kairen raised his greatsword and pointed it straight at him.
"You the hell lookin' at? Get out here and fight me one-on-one!"
Kairen suddenly charged with the fearless energy, blade raised high, rushing straight toward White Zetsu's position.
"Damn! I've been discovered!"
White Zetsu panicked and immediately activated the Mayfly Technique, sinking into the ground.
Kairen slapped his hand onto the earth and shouted arrogantly,
"Uchiha Madara, you old fossil! At your age, still peeping around? Go dig yourself a grave, find a nice spot, and bury yourself already!"
"But if you want, I can help! I'll just use Wood Release to grow you a perfect coffin!"
...
In the shinobi world, only White Zetsu possessed such stealth ability—and behind him was, of course, Uchiha Madara.
Kairen's voice echoed through the ground, entering White Zetsu's mind, then transmitted across thousands of miles into Uchiha Madara's ears.
Madara's fury surged.
He didn't even stop to wonder how Kairen had learned he was still alive.
Leaning on his cane, he cursed loudly,
"That kid from the Senju line! Even your ancestors would show me respect, yet you dare insult me like this!"
"Just wait. Once I regain my youth, I'll use you as the first offering to my rebirth!"
Tsunade approached.
"Uchiha Madara... did I hear wrong? Isn't he already dead?"
"Nothing you need to worry about!"
Kairen didn't explain further. The less Tsunade knew, the better. He wouldn't drag her into this mess.
She already had plenty of messes of her own.
"Let's go home. I'm starving!"
Kairen stretched lazily. Even though resurrection filled him with energy, the day's chaos had drained him—it felt like closing too many browser tabs at once.
"Mmm~"
At the mention of food, Wolon and Fenchu—the two bear cubs—raised their bamboo shoots and squealed in agreement.
Tsunade waved her hand grandly.
"Home it is! I'll cook. Eat whatever you want!"
Kairen praised her with a grin.
"Perfect! Tsunade's cooking is the best I've ever had!"
"No problem! I'll grind up a whole platter for you!"
"And I want the milk you squeeze yourself, Tsunade!"
"Fine, fine! I'll spoil you today!"
"And I want abalone!"
"As you wish! Tsunade-neesan will serve her naughty little brother properly this time!"
...
Meanwhile, in Mount Myōboku, the cave echoed with endless croaking complaints.
The Great Toad Sage stomped furiously.
"Guapi! Guapi! My story's key driver just died! That damned intruder didn't even leave me a single cell?!"
In the Great Toad Sage's script, Danzo was an irreplaceable character.
Without him, how could the story continue?
Nagato, Konan, Yahiko, Kabuto, Uchiha Itachi... and so many others—their arcs would all be affected.
A thin black mist rose from the Great Toad Sage's body as he cursed under his breath.
"The story's been damaged this badly already? No! Someone must replace Danzo!"
Whenever the story of the Hokage shifted, the Great Toad Sage's form would change. The greater the twist, the more catastrophic the consequences.
He called over a small black toad from outside, pointed at it, and declared,
"From today onward, you are—Shimura Danzo!"
"Guah???"
The Great Toad Sage's Sage Chakra surged, transforming the little black toad into a bandaged old man.
"From now on, you'll obey my orders and move the story forward."
"Guah??"
"You'll be called Toadzo!"
"Guah?"
...