We should all like to think that all the memories are stored in one part of the brain. The hippocampus.
However, memories are not permanently stored in just one place. Instead, they are distributed across different, interconnected brain regions depending on the type of memory.
For example, Hippocampus: Crucial for forming and consolidating new declarative (explicit) memories (facts, names, events) and spatial memory.
Neocortex: The largest part of the cerebral cortex, which serves as the long-term storage site for most memories.
Amygdala: Involved in forming and storing emotional memories, particularly those related to fear.
Cerebellum & Basal Ganglia: Responsible for storing procedural memories (skills and habits, such as riding a bike).
Prefrontal Cortex: Crucial for working memory (short-term, active information) and the retrieval of memories.
Basic information I know I know. Except in my case my amygdala is involved majorly in what I experienced. Mages are trained warriors, basically a walking weapon at most, we're trained to suppress our emotions and think objectively at all times, and most of us who had learned to perfect this were the most powerful, we commanded our skill with an ease every tom, dick and harry would kill for. And up until Reid and I ..... well until he and I slept together, the only event that had the magnitude to be that emotional triggering for me was my mothers death.
The same reason that has me trapped in the hostage rooms of Meridian's headquarters as we speak.
Let me catch you up to speed. After Reid's and I wonderful mind-blowing sexual encounter last night, I had a short moment of abrupt lucidness that left me exhilarated for a moment, followed by a moment I would never wish upon my greatest enemy.
A trigger: He was above me, he claimed my lips with his passionately, tears were cascading down my cheeks. I was happy, one second, one moment. Then all in a flash, red images flooded my mind at the speed of light. Screams of torture, cries, overwhelming emotions, violent groans and noises, terror and fear....then...silence.
"Reid." I whisper
"Reika." he whispers back to me.
Well clearly that's not right, it's a beautiful name yes but not mine.
"No.....Xenna." I whisper back to him smiling.
His breath catches and I hold his eyes with mine as he processes the magnitude of what I have just said. Then the next thing I know he was screaming. Screaming so loud my heart raced.
"Reid.....Reid what's..." I tried to ask but he couldn't hear me...he's put a solid distance between me and him as he had one hand on the wall and the other clutching his temple, groaning in utter agony, a stream of blood was now coming out of his nostril. That was enough to make me bolt out of the bed. Summoning everything that I could with my telekinesis and I was beside him in a second, tissues in hand but there was no way to hold him. Shit.
Doing the only thing that I could, I calmly inhale and think of something nice, I think of a happy place.....if I could somehow contain him in a relaxing illusion for long, he'd be able to let me help him. The first place that my mind can think of is my room, at home...okay okay calm down.... I look around....he's here with me as well good. Focus now focus.
He's not screaming anymore, but there's still signs of struggle as he battles with whatever's in his mind. Working fast, I use my hands as I pick on my energy and draw out a sigil in the air and feed it to the illusion, it works, calming him down instantly, good. I race to catch him as his knees give out and he's in my arms. I cover him up quickly as he comes to... his eyes opening slowly. The main of this illusion is to focus on calming him down, which surprisingly took a huge amount of energy to sustain.
"Reid I'm gonna need you to say something here before my energy gives out and I can't hold this illusion anymore." I ramble out.
He cups my face weakly. "Reika darling...how the fuck is this not affecting you?" He queries confused?
"How is what not affecting me ?" My voice is in a high pitch now, clear evidence of my panic. "Your own memories love....."
he says and passes out in my arms. My energy gives out, the illusion ending instantly. Back in his room, I open my eyes to still find him screaming in agony. He said my memories...my.....holy shit. I quickly have my mental shields up in a split second and he goes silent. Fuck. He slowly struggles to get up, his face all sweaty and bloody from the nosebleed but he doesn't look angry. He looks broken and lonely and robbed and ....he looks like a version of me that existed ten years ago.
~
We're both now dressed up, everything happened in pin drop silence that didn't really give me time to think about things. Every time I look at him my heart races and I tense and then he instinctively looks at me back then I avert my eyes. I know I.... shit, well apparently regaining parts of my memories meant I would regain my old self, that I'm realizing now is so different from the person I'd become in the past year.
That's why I didn't react when I got my memories. Literal heart shattering pieces of my past that would break anyone but not me, I just.....smiled and corrected Reid about my name.
Trained weapon remember. My brain teases and somehow it doesn't feel like the best thing ever anymore. I was a goddamn forthcoming lethal agent, taught to suppress the ugly behind mental shields, that immediately kicked in the moment my memories decided to make their fashionable arrival.
"Okay so what do we do?" I ask Reid once he looks recollected enough to talk.
"We talk first." he mumbles with a sigh taking steps towards me as he comes out of the ensuite bathroom. He's in his usual fighting leathers, knives and weapons strapped to his side just like I was.
"Okay," I say as my breath catches in my throat the moment he's in front of me. He was tall, but so am I and thankfully only had to inch my chin up to meet his eyes. My heart was racing again. Curse the return of my objective oriented brain that made it a bit hard to contain my physical reaction to him when he was near. I'm pretty sure I am blushing as well, which actually does shock him and he smiles. "Xenna Aide....." he starts with a mockery tone but I shush him by kissing him. I can feel his smile against my lips and I smile too as our kiss gets more passionate and hungry, we might be back on that bed if we go on.
He slows down and his hands stay on my waist even after we stop. "It terrifies me that when I read your brain after you got your memories I... I was in utter agony I,.... I can't even begin to explain how helpless I felt in that moment." he admits his voice rough and breaking. I keep a straight face but my jaw clenches.
"And you just.....you didn't even react Reika...." he hesitates before continuing. "I mean I knew that he.....I knew he...did things to you but I...I didn't know how bad it was...." he takes a break to pace as he breathes in and out and slowly it dawns on me what he just said. He knew.
What does he mean he knew? No one knew this about me even when I had my memories so how does he know? "What do you mean you know?" I interrupt his train of thought.
He faces me...his eyes widening as he realizes what he's just said as well.
"Reika." he pleads as he shakes his head sadly. My heart starts racing but for all the wrong reasons this time. Like I should not be here. Panicked and terrified, Reid raises his arms to show that he is not the enemy. Slowly he gets to the ground and drops his mind shields, leaving me to read and relive the memories to that terrible day.