The silence in the car wasn't heavy, but rather thoughtful, the light of the streetlamps flickered rhythmically over Evelyn's face as she drove. Occasionally, she stroked my palm with the hand that wasn't on the steering wheel a silent promise that she was there.
Back at home, however, the atmosphere grew cooler because I knew that in two hours, my "savior" would be standing at my window. While sitting across from Evelyn at dinner, I knew this could be the last time we would be together like this, the thought made me sad and left me with a sense of heaviness and grief.
We sat at the small dining table and Evelyn had prepared light sushi and miso soup things she knew wouldn't upset my stomach. I hadn't eaten enough today.
The warm glow of the lamp above us created an illusion of normalcy. Evelyn barely ate, she just leaned her chin on her hand, watching me with that soft, almost melancholy smile.
>>"You hardly ate anything at the park today, Rin. Do you not like it?"<<
Evelyn asked gently, her eyes filled with affection.
>>"No, it's delicious, Your food is always delicious"<<
I force a smile that felt wooden on my lips, I felt so bad right now.
>>"I'm just... still a bit tired from the sun."<<
Evelyn nodded slowly and she reached across the table and placed her hand over mine. Her skin was warm. Part of me wanted to turn my hand over and hold on to her to beg her not to let me go. But the other part only saw the shadows behind her eyes.
>>"I'm glad we went today. I really enjoyed the time with you"<<
She said softly, looking at me with deep emotion. >>"Sometimes, in all the chaos, I forget how important these moments with you are. You're my anchor, Rin. When I come home and see you, the world out there doesn't seem so dark anymore."<<
She smiled lovingly and squeezed my hand, though she hesitated for a moment before intertwining her fingers with mine.
Her words cut deeper than any knife. She called me her anchor, while my backpack was already hidden under my bed.
>>"Evelyn? Do you believe... do you believe people can really change? Or do we always stay who the world made us?"<<
My voice trembled, i desperately needed an answer, hoping she'd give me the one I longed for.
Evelyn paused, her expression becoming serious, almost wise.
>>"I believe we can choose who we want to be, Rin. But we can't undo our past. We can only try to protect the ones who matter to us. No matter the cost."<<
She gave my hand a brief squeeze before standing up to clear the bowls.
>>"Go to sleep, little Rin. You need your rest. Tomorrow will be a better day, I promise."<<
Tomorrow, I thought as I watched her leave.
Tomorrow, I won't be here a lump formed in my throat. She promised me a better day while I was busy ripping the heart out of her chest.
Evelyn then tucked me into bed, and I lay awake until the clock on my nightstand jumped to 10:58 PM. The quiet clicking of the digits felt like a hammer blow.
The apartment was deathly silent, but for me, the silence was charged. I knew Evelyn was still awake, probably sitting in the living room with a glass of wine, staring at the monitors that were currently watching me sit motionless on my bed.
I only had five minutes for when Evelyn took a break or went to the bathroom. I sat up and drank from the glass of water on my nightstand. My knees felt like soft wax and my fingers trembled as I drank, afterwards, I reached for the small pink cherry blossom petal in my jacket pocket, which I had taken from the park.
I placed it exactly in the center of my pillow, it was like a tiny splash of color on the white fabric. My heart cramped and ached, I had started something that I couldn't just stop now.
11:00 PM.
>>"Forgive me, Evelyn"<<
I whispered, just waiting to hear the bathroom door.
I heard the bathroom door and the lock turn. I stood up immediately and grabbed my backpack, jacket, and the gloves Evelyn had given me in case my hands got cold.
I went to the window, unlocked it, and the cold night air rushed toward me. I took one last look around the room that smelled of lavender, outside, it smelled of damp earth and asphalt. Out there, in the shadow of the old oak tree, stood a figure the moonlight reflected off his glasses. It was Mr. Yoshikage.
>>"Come now, Rin. Before her lapdogs pick up the scent."<<
the wind whispered his voice up to me.
Lapdogs. He meant Kaito and Tokasan. I looked down into the darkness of the garden, every shadow seemed to move. Was that Tokasan already wandering through the shadows, or was Kaito already behind me in the hallway?
I swung my legs over the windowsill and climbed out. The backpack pulled me backward i slipped and fell, but Yoshikage was there instantly. He caught me gently, set me down, and gripped my hand. His grip was firm and demanding.
>>"Not a word, and walk exactly in my footsteps."<<
He obviously knew he couldn't leave any tracks. I wondered how he knew exactly what to do, but now was not the time to ask. He led me across the stone tiles, meticulously careful not to touch the soft ground, and we vanished into the darkness just as the light in my room went on back at the house.
I ran with Yoshikage away from the building into a park, onto a path and directly behind the lawn a wall of dark fir trees that towered into the night sky like pointed fingers.
>>"Run, stay close behind me, and only step where I have stepped. If you touch the mud, they'll have you in ten minutes"<<
Yoshikage hissed. He held my hand so tightly it almost hurt.
I swallowed hard, wearing the gloves Evelyn had given me, my fingers were freezing quickly. The soft leather felt like her skin, and with every step I took deeper into the park, I felt dirtier. I was betraying the only person who had ever given me a home for a man who treated me like a piece of valuable stolen property.
Suddenly, Yoshikage stopped. He pulled me behind a thick tree trunk and pressed his back against the bark. He held his breath, I did the same. My heart hammered so loudly against my ribs that I was afraid it would give us away.
In the distance, toward the house, I heard it. No shouting, no calling.
Only a short, metallic click. I didn't know what it was, but Mr. Yoshikage's eyes narrowed.
>>"They're already out"<<
Yoshikage whispered. In his tone, there was no fear, but almost excitement, and he added:
>>"Kaito is fast faster than I thought. He reads the grass like an open book. Typical of him."<<
I looked up at Yoshikage.
>>"Why are you really helping me, Mr. Yoshikage? If you know how dangerous they are... why risk this?"<<
He didn't look at me, his gaze was fixed on the darkness, scanning it watchfully.
>>"Quite simple. Because Evelyn thinks she has the world under control, Rin. But she forgot that you can't cage a bird without it eventually forgetting how to sing. I want to hear your song again."<<
It sounded poetic, but it felt cold. Mr. Yoshikage called me a bird, and Evelyn called me "her little Rin." Neither of them seemed to see me simply as me.
>>"We must move on,"<<
he said, pulling me deeper into the undergrowth, adding:
>>"We'll take the stream. Why? Water carries no scent. That will hold off Tokasan and Kaito for a while and make it harder for them."<<
I continued to follow Yoshikage, looking back every now and then. Slowly, I questioned more and more whether I had done the right thing. Even if Evelyn called me "her little Rin" she still called me "Rin". She still saw me, even if she saw me as hers. I looked back, this time with an apologetic expression. I hoped I hadn't broken her heart too much. Mine certainly hurt...