The office lights were bright, sharp, and blinding as a cold, low-pitched ringing from the fan hummed in her ears, her monotonous routine with fresh hires,
The disheveled man sat in a chair in front of Ok Hyeonseok, glancing around her tight office, the walls bare with a dead plant wilting away in the corner,
Kim Hyunjin.
His record isn't impressive, considering he just started, which she couldn't exactly mark him down for. She's not paid enough to care whether or not he's qualified.
But he was weird, she noted his habit of playing with his hair, bangs swept to the side, then behind his ear, then in front of his face again, despite their length his eyes remained visible,
It was weirdly feminine, maybe it was just a weird tick that helped him focus, she couldn't care less but it's another thing she has to put in his file,
And, admittedly, there was something about Kim Hyunjin's eyes that always made her feel... off kilter.
They were tense, like holding back a hidden amount of darkness, not like the darkness of someone who'd lived a hard or bad life. She'd seen that plenty, but this was different.. like a twistedness straying near the surface, it was unnerving,
"Have you received your badge yet?" Hyeonsuk didn't bother, her job was to write down his information and give it to the company.
She doesn't know why she even cares, there are plenty of crazies employed already.
"...!!"
Coming out of whatever nonsense he had been thinking about until now, he blanched
"Pardon?"
She raised a brow, tapping the bottom of her pen against the desk, "Your badge, Kim Hyunjin?"
He looked flustered, quickly retrieving it from his pocket and sliding it over her desk, she picked it up,
Kim Hyunjin
Scene Operating Team
Badge Number #199235
It checks out, most of the new hires wait a few weeks until they receive their badge, he must be special.
"Here's your key for company housing, you start Monday morning."
…
"Thank you.."
——
Company Housing is so convenient, and beneficial, it was a decent officetel[1]…
Though it was a foreboding reminder of how disturbing things would become, Kim Hyunjin felt a mixture of anxiety and excitement,
There was even an address I could use, the location wasn't bad, not too far from the company itself, It was clean, it looked like it was newly built or at least freshly remodeled, and had solid security.
Of course, it wasn't out of the goodness of their hearts to make things convenient for employees.
Now that everything had slowed down, I finally had time to think,
[20:31]
I stared at my phone, the screen was slightly cracked, surprisingly still at half percent like it was when I'd been taken into this odd world, it was around six when I first found that store.. it had only been a few hours since then?
That didn't feel right.. maybe time just moved more slowly here after all, it's also possible that this world was just adjacent to the real world instead of a complete copy,
First, I checked the calendar, to see if the date was still the same, if it did then my theory of adjacency might be right,
Friday, January 39th.
It's easy to come to terms with the fact that this world is so peculiar, the more I searched the weirder it became, there were ten months with 40-45 days and six days a week,
After exploring more I even discovered the clock on the wall had 29 numbers instead of 24, it was unbelievably interesting, how does that affect work hours, holidays? I'm almost excited to explore this, and on a brighter note, there was still Kakaotalk[2].
…
The one thing he'd been avoiding.
His parents.
If the calendar could change..
He barely thought about them in his normal life, but.. now that he possibly had no way of seeing them again made his eyes sting and something gross curl up in his chest,
His fingers twitched as he scrolled, clicking his mothers name, he begins having second thoughts before—
'This Number is out of service and cannot be reached.'
What?
A sinking feeling pulls in his chest, quickly trying to call his dad only to get the same message, he tries to text instead but none of them deliver,
He tried again, heart pounding so hard it hurt, his fingers twitch and shake, calling over and over only be met with the same message, swallowing back nausea every time he heard that out of service number instead of that familiar ring,
Not giving up yet he goes for his bank statements, for the will of anything would he able to even send them money from this bizarre place?
He searches through annoying documents before pausing, thumb hovering just barely a few centimeters above his screen at the plain grey text,
(Account Inactive)
…
No..
No… no
He can't— fuck! His mom needs money for her treatments. He can't send anything..
Would it even send to the real world if he could? Did his parents even exist here in the first place?
His stomach goes cold like a block of ice was dropped inside, stumbling as he pushed open the door into the bathroom, curling over the toilet as waves of ice cold sick rushed up his throat,
Burning tears escape down his face as he retches, eyes burning,
What would they do?
What would my parents do without me?
My dad's too old to work..
The back of his throat lurches, sending pain shooting down the deepest depth of his stomach and right back up his throat with nothing less to expel,
"Kh..hrk!"
Strangle groans and choking echoes off the aimless tiles, teeth clenched and unclenching as his fingers trembled, clutching the sides of the toilet, struggling to keep himself lucid,
The sensation felt akin to having barbed wire rake through his insides, pain pulsing in his chest,
He's scared.
It's too much, he can't pretend things are fine anymore, he just can't
He never had a good relationship with his parents but that didn't mean he wanted this, that he wanted them to die—
—There is a way.
Kim Hyunjin shook his head, trying in vain to dismiss the mechanical, monotonous voice as though it would disappear if he willed it hard enough,
"Ghh.. go— away.."
He gagged again, launching a stringy mess of saliva and bile as his stomach tried to force itself up his throat,
—Don't you want to return?
The sentence makes him go still, his mind felt so hot and like a mess at the same time, it was too hard to think, his lungs felt like they were close to collapsing, he could only feel rigidly cold,
Did he really want that?
His life as he knew it was familiar but more miserable than anything else,
It was the same every day
Every day
Wake up, the long commute was unbearable, the subway made me nauseous, I tried biking but it didn't last long, walking to and fro work hurt, creating more than enough blisters on my heels for comfort.
Work was always more than I could handle, data analysis in of itself is fine.. the piles upon piles of documents is what made it so difficult,
Manager Han Juwon always made things so hard, I could barely eat for longer than a few bites, whether from the amount of work or from pure anxiousness,
but if i didn't i could've been the next 'lowlife' that got cut.
It's not like i was bad at my job.. there was just so much to get done.
Aside from the workload the environment was just as bad, I was disliked by my seniors, I think it was because of a few misunderstandings..
But then again i never made and effort to correct them now that i think about it, I always went home right after work, maybe that made them think I was snobby..
Hah..
'I feel so childish..'
If i think about it now.. my attitude made me unpleasant..
'Is that really my fault?'
I was so exhausted every day whenever i went home i could barely lock my door before passing out in front of the entrance,
And yet despite all of it.. the money never went to me, it was difficult to even keep water running most months,
It was all.. always for his mom, liver cancer because she just wouldn't stop drinking.[3]
Sometimes he would stare at his phone and watch the money leave his account, Hospital bills, Medical Treatment, physical therapy,
Every little transaction popped up, he could turn his phone off, he'd thought about it in the past, but he never ended up doing it, watching treatment drain each digit lower and lower until he had to ask the landlord for more time, just a bit more until his next pay came through and he could get him the money
And then it all repeated over again.
I was supposed to be a good son.
I wanted to be a good son,
My life was nothing, nothing and void of anything worth living, there wasn't a point..
..
When was the last time he had something to look forwards to?
He recalled the words that spoke in his head,
'do I want to go back?'
When was the last time he had a choice?
Going back to a painful repetitive life until he died, did he want that..
Did any of it even matter?
—You can return.
"....."
The nausea lingered in the back of his throat, but as his thoughts continued down this path his mind felt like it was rapidly becoming clear,
Should he?
Was he allowed to be selfish like this, to even consider not going back, leaving his parents vulnerable, why was he even hesitating?
Deep down he knew why.
He was scared, terrified even, of the notion alone that he would go back, the perfect moment and opportunity to live put what he dreamed,
All he had to do was leave everything behind, the things he held no love, care, or affection for, there was no part of his life that was worth going back for,
Except for his parents.
Was he capable of being selfish enough to abandon them despite everything they've done for him,
—I can help you
Kim Hyunjin's reflection stares back at him from the pristine marble countertops,
"I don't trust you,"
—That's fine. We can help each other
This is weird.
I should think about this a bit more closely..
I swallowed dryly, the gross taste of vomit cringing on the back of my tongue, fingers gripping the edge of the toilet to stand on shaky legs, something bitter lurching in my throat,
"Why do you want to help me?"
—I want to have fun
What?
Have fun.. like watching me?
"Why me of all people.."
Silence, before the light shone brighter, straining the fuse inside as it started blinding me, brighter and brighter until it shattered, plunging the bathroom into darkness,
I watched carefully, holding my breath, did my questioning somehow anger it?
Should i not have been so outwardly anxious?
—Friend.
"...friend?" He found himself repeating, "you want a friend?
[1] In South Korea, an officetel is a multi-purpose building with residential and commercial units. This is a type of studio apartment or studio flat. An officetel is designed to be a partially self-contained building, such that its occupants can live and work in the same building, minimizing commute time.
[2] KakaoTalk, also known as KaTalk, is a free app that offers messaging, video calling, and online services. It's South Korea's top messaging app, used by 97% of the population. Globally, it has over 40 million active users per month. KakaoTalk offers a variety of features, including: Group chats** Organize chats into folders, edit or delete sent messages, and use Threads to keep discussions focused.
[3] Liver cancer is the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths in South Korea, as well as the sixth most prevalent type of cancer in South Korea.