The next day, after his last class, Ben squared his shoulders and headed toward the dance studio as though he were walking into a trial he had already lost. He knew he had to face the consequences of his reckless kiss, and he had prepared himself for every possible reaction Daniel might have.
As he neared the studio, the familiar buzz of Daniel's little fanclub reached him before the sight did. When he peeked around the corner, he found the usual crowd swarming around Daniel. Girls giggled and clung to his arms. Guys slapped his shoulders and joked around like they were all cast members in a sitcom. It was the same scene he had watched a hundred times, except something about Daniel felt slightly off.
Daniel's posture seemed a little guarded, as if he still enjoyed the attention but found the crowd's proximity unsettling.
Ben blinked.
Had Daniel finally noticed how aggressively people fawned over him?
If so, Ben felt a wave of relief. At least Daniel would not get dragged into some overzealous admirer's fantasy without understanding what they wanted from him.
But mixed into that relief was a thread of doubt. Maybe Daniel's discomfort had less to do with the crowd and more to do with last night.
Although Ben regretted the impulsiveness of that kiss, he could not stop replaying it. He tried not to think about the feel of Daniel's lips against his own, the warmth of Daniel's breath, the press of Daniel's body when Ben pulled him close, or how badly he wanted to feel that again, but the memory clung to him like a fever he could not sweat out.
Part of him hoped Daniel would just pretend the moment never happened. Daniel wasn't someone who analyzed emotions deeply. He tended to sidestep feelings the way a distracted student sidestepped puddles on a rainy day.
But another part of him, the one he tried hardest to bury, did not want that. It wanted Daniel to feel something. Anger, confusion, shock, anything. He wanted Daniel to think about it, to lose sleep over it, to remember the way it felt.
And that selfish, humiliating want made Ben wish he could evaporate.
Because he knew the kiss had been one-sided. Daniel had never kissed back. He had not even responded, and yet Ben still wanted that moment to leave him wrecked.
Feeling guilt burn hot in his chest, Ben slipped into the studio before the entourage reached the doors.
Daniel's voice rose above the chatter. "Later, everyone. I have practice. Only two more days until the fourth round of NDC. You all support me, right?"
"We always support you, oppa! You'll win for sure!" a group of girls squealed.
"Count us in for celebratory drinks," a few guys called.
Daniel laughed and waved them off before slipping into the studio. Their voices faded as they dispersed.
He turned and spotted Ben standing by the door.
His face flushed bright red. He froze for a heartbeat before bolting into the locker room as if Ben were a supernatural omen. Moments later, he reappeared, changed into a t-shirt, and attempted a neutral expression that fooled absolutely no one.
Ben's stomach dropped. Their friendship might truly be over.
He swallowed hard and forced himself forward. He bowed so low his back threatened to protest, and he spoke in a voice already braced for the worst.
"Hyung, I am sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have lost control. If you want to punch me, yell at me, kick me, or throw me down the nearest mountain trail, I will not fight back. I deserve it."
Daniel stared at him, cheeks burning and eyes wide. His lips trembled before he whispered, "You… you kissed me."
Ben bent even lower. "Jinjja mianhae" [I am really sorry.]
There was a long, heavy pause before Daniel spoke again, softer this time.
"That… was my first kiss."
Ben inhaled sharply. Even the air in the room felt still. Ben waited for Daniel to say something, but only silence greeted him. He just stood there, staring at the floor.
"That's it?" Ben asked, stunned. "That is all you have to say?"
Daniel's gaze flicked up, unsteady. "I didn't think it would turn out like that. And…" His blush deepened, creeping down his throat. "Are kisses supposed to be that intense?"
Ben blinked, his mind blanking out. "Hyung, why aren't you mad at me? I crossed a line, and that wasn't fair to you."
Daniel touched the back of his neck, the pink spreading all the way to his collarbone. "I was the one who asked you to do it. And I kissed your cheek first. I was not thinking clearly either. Mianhae."
Ben's chest tightened. Daniel might have recklessly started it, but Ben was the one who had lost control.
He let out a slow breath and looked away. "Guess we both messed up," he said quietly.
Daniel stared at him for a long moment, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as if it might help him think. "You were… overwhelming," he said quietly. "I couldn't sleep. I felt…" He trailed off, struggling to find the right words.
Ben's heart stuttered. "You… felt something?"
Daniel did not respond immediately. His eyes stayed lowered, shoulders tight with confusion and embarrassment. He looked genuinely conflicted, more than Ben had ever seen him.
Ben's heart pounded, waiting for Daniel to say something.
When Daniel finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "It is my first time, so…"
There was a beat of raw, unguarded silence.
Daniel glanced up and caught Ben looking intently. He straightened instantly, snapping back into his theatrical normalcy as if he could escape the moment by performing over it.
"You are right," he said, cheerful and breezy. "No fairy tale kiss would magically save our performance. We both really messed up. Let's just call it even."
Ben stood there, silent. Daniel had gotten so close to acknowledging what he felt. But like always, he pulled away at the last moment.
And the worst part was that Ben understood. He could not even be angry. He just did not know if that understanding made him feel relieved or devastated.