I'd never had a past life revelation like this—so vivid it left my chest tight for hours.
And again, it was with Kaelen. The second life we had shared.
All weekend, I waited until the suffocating heaviness in my heart eased. You might imagine the lumps that choked you, and made you harder to breathe.
Sunday night I finally breathe without feeling the ripples of it.
I used to think a past life was just that—past. A story long buried. But now… it felt close, like it was brushing against the present.
It made me wonder, thinking, and thinking again.
I didn't have the heart to tell him. It wasn't about telling Kaelen the story about our second past life, but more about how it affected me. I didn't want to pull him into that weight while he was buried in work.
This time, I decided to keep it all for myself.
He had been unusually busy, I meant he used to be busy, but in the past two weeks, he'd been sending me photos from his phone—shots of his laptop monitor with the clock in the corner.
Sometimes it showed past midnight, and he was still working. My heart ached every time.
Maybe it sounds over the top, but that's the truth.
Kaelen liked his work. He loved working. The company he was with now was one he had built with his friends. He was Asian-mixed, had fought his way up with scholarships from middle school all the way through his graduate program in the UK. His way of thinking was a blend of those worlds—practical, disciplined, and sharp.
Or maybe… it was the image he wanted people to see. I wasn't sure. I'm not a mind reader, and I'm not bored enough to try reading him. I trust that if he wants me to know something, he'll tell me.
But that night, when another photo came through—1:07 a.m. glowing from his laptop screen—I couldn't help but wonder if some part of him was as restless as mine.
---
It was during that same week that an invitation came—an intimate wedding, from a close friend. Her son was getting married, and her boss had been kind enough to lend the office rooftop as the venue.
We were still in the pandemic phase, but restrictions had loosened enough for small gatherings. Close family and friends only.
And yes, we went. Our yoga crack.
Auriel and I found a table near the edge, plates full, city lights spread out beneath us like another constellation.
"So, how are you?" she asked. Maybe she'd noticed I was quieter than usual.
"The Roman era?" I prodded, stabbing my fork into a piece of cake. "What kind of relic was I keeping?"
She was silent for a moment. "It was something sacred. A holy…" She sighed. "Do you really care?" looking at me with 'do you really want me to say it' look.
"Well… not really?" I shrugged. But glanced at her deeply, narrowing my eyes.
Auriel gave me a quiet, knowing look—like she already knew the question I actually wanted to ask.
"I was a merchant in that era," she said. "We crossed paths for part of the journey."
"And Zehra?" I softened my tone, but the emphasis was there.
"Her problems are mostly karmic results of what she did to you in a past life. You've figured that out already, right?"
Again, our reading clicked. We knew Noam was Zehra's past life. And Auriel words felt like a confirmation.
"I saw the karmic threads. So yeah, I figured it out." I smiled faintly. "I just really hope her problems end here, in this life. From what I feel, Soren has truly forgiven Noam."
We went back to eating, letting the acoustic quartet fill the air with soft covers of love songs.
"How about Kaelen and me?" I asked.
Auriel met my gaze, sensing a real question, "What about it?"
"How?"
"You and your skeptical mind," she teased. "You see everything but don't believe it yourself?"
"Is it really because of his words?"
"He made a vow. Of course he has to fulfill it."
"But… what if?"
"What if what? Ask him how he knows you now, in this life. Ask him how he feels about you."
Ahhh. I would've preferred my mind not be a tangled mess over this. But since when did my preferences ever have any impact on how the universe works? Wishful thinking. That's how I think.
The party hyped up when our friend, Ivy—the groom's mom—grabbed us on the floor to sing along and dance. Zehra sung hype cheerful ballad, contemporary Javanese new song. Satires lyrics made us laugh and we left the party in joyful blessings.
I got home late and messaged Kaelen.
Just got back. The wedding was nice."
How about your friends?" He knew my circle.
They said too bad you weren't here."
A few minutes later, my phone pinged again—this time with an e-ticket itinerary.
I'll be there the day after tomorrow.
I took the swab test this morning. It's all set."
I sent him 💋 😘 followed by: So happy. Can't wait."
Hotel for the quarantine's also set."
With Kaelen, asking about preparations and itineraries was a bit redundant—he was always fully prepared, meticulous down to the last detail. But I asked anyway.
Which hotel?"
Fairmont this time. Easier to commute. Company arrangement." His reply came quick.
U know I'm so happy 😍"
I know, sayang. I miss U too."
I just sat there for a moment, phone still in my hand, staring at his last message. It was only two days away, and plus another four day for quarantine but it already felt like the air around me had shifted. The countdown had begun.