Chapter 101: Men to the left, women to the right, and the neither-men-nor-women go to the middle.
Lin Zhen swung his frying pan in a full circle, aiming to smack it against the head of Loki's phantom.
The frying pan passed through the phantom without any resistance, stirring up a ripple of green energy.
Loki stood in mid-air, letting out a harsh, mocking laugh.
"Ignorant Midgardian worm, this is merely a psychic phantom I projected across the star sectors. Your ridiculous iron pot cannot even touch a single hair on my head."
Lin Zhen hovered on his skateboard and tucked the frying pan back into his waistband.
"No physical form? You should have said so earlier, wasting my energy."
He reached into his pants.
Loki crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes filled with contempt.
"What, do you intend to pull out some mortal piece of junk to deal with a god?"
Lin Zhen pulled out a solar-powered vacuum cleaner.
"This is a good item I got from completing a mission; the system classifies it as a Fine-grade cleaning tool." Lin Zhenpressed the red switch.
The vacuum cleaner let out a deafening roar, and a visible small vortex formed at the tip of the nozzle.
Lin Zhen aimed the nozzle at Loki.
"Since you are a pure energy entity, this will be easy."
The mockery on Loki's face froze.
He discovered that the psychic magic he had projected was uncontrollably surging toward the nozzle.
"Stop, what are you doing!" Loki's phantom began to twist and deform, the green light at its edges being forcibly torn away by the vacuum cleaner.
"Cut the crap, just drop your loot." Lin Zhen pushed the vacuum cleaner to maximum power.
Half of Loki's body was pulled into the nozzle, and his ram-horned helmet became distorted.
"I will remember you, mortal. I will bring the army of Asgard and trample you into meat paste!"
Lin Zhen flicked his wrist, and the vacuum cleaner swallowed the rest of Loki's words along with the last bit of green light.
[Experience Points + 500]
"Only this much experience? And you call yourself a God King. Stingy."
Thor stood there, mouth agape, watching Lin Zhen's series of maneuvers.
His worldview was subjected to an unprecedented shock.
"You... you sucked Loki in?" Thor pointed at Lin Zhen.
Lin Zhen clapped his hands and said, "Standard procedure. For a pauper who doesn't drop cash, you just have to squeeze out his remaining value."
He walked over to the pile of ice shards left by Laufey and pulled out several woven bags to start packing the ice.
Thor walked over, attempting to grab Lin Zhen's shoulder. "Lin Zhen, you must return my hammer. Loki has occupied Asgard, and I need the power to go back and stop him."
Lin Zhen dodged to the side, continuing to pack the ice without even looking up. "Don't try to get friendly with me. You're currently an undocumented immigrant who can't even wash dishes at Sha County Delicacies properly. What leverage do you have to negotiate with me?"
"That is my weapon, it belongs to me!" Thor roared.
Lin Zhen stopped his movements, stood up, and looked Thor straight in the eye.
"That thing is currently bound to my System Inventory. Without a five-million-dollar unbinding fee, don't even think about it. Or, you could go find a rich woman to keep you; once the money is there, anything is negotiable."
The screech of brakes broke the silence of the desert. Three black S.H.I.E.L.D. SUVs pulled up not far away. Coulson led a team of fully armed Agents as they rushed out of the vehicles.
Coulson looked at the ice shards covering the ground and the chaotic campsite, then looked at Thor, who was wearing a tattered Sha County Delicacies apron, and finally fixed his gaze on Lin Zhen's chicken mask.
"Inspector Lin, has the crisis here been resolved?" Coulsonwalked up to Lin Zhen, his peripheral vision sweeping over the woven bag in his hand that bore the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo.
"Totally. The World BOSS has already been soloed by me." Lin Zhen tied the woven bag shut and hoisted it onto his shoulder. "This is the loot, Laufey-style millennium shaved ice, fifty dollars a pound. Do you want some, Coulson? Take it back and soak some goji berries in it for Nick Fury."
Coulson's mouth twitched twice. "The Director is on the line; he wants to speak with you."
Coulson handed over the communicator.
Lin Zhen took the communicator and shouted loudly, "Nick Fury, the mission is complete. Travel expenses, substitute fighting fees, and mental anguish fees—let's round it up to ten million. Deposit it into my black card."
From the other end of the communicator came Fury's voice, suppressing his rage: "Lin Zhen, you blew the research camp in New Mexico into ruins, and you still have the nerve to ask me for money?"
Lin Zhen said, "I saved the entire New Mexico! That blue-skinned old geezer almost turned this place into a skating rink. If you think it's too expensive, I'll dump this pile of ice shards right back where they came from."
"I'm not interested in your pile of garbage ice." Fury's voice raised a few decibels. "Return the long-lasting spray you stole from my office! I just had someone buy that from Chinatown yesterday!"
Lin Zhen rubbed his chin through the mask. "What thing? I haven't seen it. Maybe it was shattered by Loki's magicwhile I was fighting the monster. This counts as force majeure combat damage; go get it reimbursed by the insurance company."
"Fuck!" Fury cursed on the other end of the line. "Coulson, take Thor back to headquarters. Lin Zhen, get your ass back to New York immediately."
Beep, beep, beep. The communication cut off.
Lin Zhen tossed the communicator back to Coulson. "See that? This Nick Fury is just stingy. He gets all worked up over taking a little something from him."
Coulson silently took the communicator and pointed at Thor.
"The Director has ordered us to take him with us."
Lin Zhen waved his hand. "Take him, take him. Remember to pay off his tab at Sha County Delicacies. Also, this guy is basically a proletarian now, just make sure to feed him; don't expect him to do any work."
Thor glared at Lin Zhen. "I will not give up. I will definitely take back what belongs to me."
"You're welcome to bring money to ransom it anytime." Lin Zhen gave him the middle finger.
...After parting ways with Thor and the others, Lin Zhenteleported directly to the Villa on Malibu Beach.
Tony Stark stood in front of a holographic projection, waving his hands as he adjusted a heavy armor model.
"Sir, unauthorized intrusion. Target: Lin Zhen." Jarvis's voice rang out.
Tony turned around, his face livid.
Lin Zhen took off his chicken mask, shook out his hair, pulled a woven bag out of his pants, and threw it onto the experimental table.
"Boss Tony, I just cleared a new map and brought back some local specialties. Check the quality."
Tony backed away two steps vigilantly.
"Jarvis, scan that bag. See if there are any bio-viruses attached."
"Scan complete, sir. Inside the bag are ultra-low-temperature solid water crystals containing unknown high-frequency energy fluctuations. The temperature is near absolute zero, but there is no heat conduction to the surrounding environment, violating existing laws of thermodynamics."
Tony was stunned. He walked forward and reached out to touch the woven bag.
Lin Zhen slapped his spatula onto the back of Tony's hand.
"One hundred thousand dollars per touch. This is the authentic World BOSS Frost Giant King Laufey-style millennium shaved ice. One bite extends your life, and as a coolant, it can boost the performance of your crappy armor by three hundred percent."
Tony shook his hand, staring at Lin Zhen.
"Frost Giants? Did you go stock up in Norse mythology?" Tony snorted. "Name your price."
"Straightforward." Lin Zhen held up one finger. "Ten million dollars, take the whole bag."
Tony crossed his arms.
"One million at most. I still have to spend time researching this unknown material. It might be radioactive, and I'll have to pay for medical bills."
"One million? Are you trying to get rid of a beggar?" Lin Zhen reached into his pants and pulled out the heart of eternal winter, which was emitting a faint blue glow.
The indoor temperature plummeted.
Red light flashed on the holographic projection screen.
"Warning, ultra-high energy reaction detected. Energy levels have exceeded one hundred thousand terajoules." Jarvis's voice became urgent.
Tony's eyes widened, staring intently at the diamond-shaped ice crystal.
"What is this?"
"Laufey's heart, the heart of eternal winter. A top-tier orange-grade material." Lin Zhen tossed the ice crystal in his hand, then stuffed it back into his pants. "This thing could freeze the entire Pacific Ocean into a skating rink. One million? If I took this to sell to Hydra, they could give me a billion."
Tony gritted his teeth.
"If you dare sell it to Hydra, I'll build a suit of armor specifically designed to beat chicken heads and send you into space."
"Anti-chicken-head armor? Just that piece of junk you were fiddling with earlier?" Lin Zhen pointed at the clunky model on the holographic projection and mocked it mercilessly. "The leg joint design is redundant, and the power core output is insufficient. I could smash it to pieces with one swing of my pan."
Tony's expression turned ugly.
That was the counter-armor he had specifically designed to deal with Lin Zhen and his frying pan, yet it was being looked down upon by this chicken-head.
"I don't have a billion. Stark Industries' liquid capital isn't for you to scam like this." Tony turned and walked to the console, pressing a button. "Fifty million, plus a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, with permanent property rights."
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
Having a respawn point in New York, so he wouldn't have to spend money at the Red-light district every time—this deal was worth it.
"Deal. Give me the apartment keys."
Tony tossed over an access card.
Lin Zhen took the card and pushed the woven bag and the heart of eternal winter over to Tony.
"Pleasure doing business. I'll come to you next time I have new materials."
Lin Zhen put on his mask, preparing to leave.
Jarvis emitted a harsh alarm sound.
"Sir, S.H.I.E.L.D. is sending a top-priority emergency communication."
Fury's dark face popped up on the screen.
"Stark, bring your armor to New York. We have big trouble."
Lin Zhen leaned in toward the screen.
"Nick Fury, what kind of lucrative job is it this time? We have a deal: double overtime pay."
Fury's single eye blazed with fire.
"Loki stole the Tesseract. He opened a space portal at the top of Stark Tower, and an alien army is invading New York."
Lin Zhen turned his head to look at Tony.
"He's using your place as a portal point?"
Tony's face turned green, and he pressed his faceplate.
"Jarvis, initiate Mark VII. Prepare for combat."
Lin Zhen opened his system panel.
The screen was flashing with red exclamation Marks.
[world-class Main Quest Triggered: Battle of New York]
[Quest Objective: Repel the Chitauri army, close the space portal]
[Quest Reward: Experience Points + 100,000, Points + 500, Random Epic Equipment Chest × 1, ruyi jingu bang fragment x10]
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
One hundred thousand experience! Epic chest! And fragment rewards!
This isn't an alien invasion; this is a year-end bonus issued by the system!
"Motherfucker, whoever dares to steal my mobs, I'll smash them to death right along with them!"
Lin Zhen pulled out the anywhere door, kicked it open, and charged inside.
New York, Manhattan.
A black hole tore open in the sky.
Countless Chitauri Soldiers riding flying vehicles surged out from the hole, laser beams flying everywhere, and thick smoke rolled through the streets.
Lin Zhen jumped out of the anywhere door and landed on the rooftop opposite Stark Tower.
He looked up.
In his line of sight, the sky was covered with dense red health bars.
Above every Chitauri Soldier's head, it was labeled [Common Mob: Experience + 50].
Those swimming mechanical Leviathan were labeled [Elite Mob: Experience + 2000, High probability of dropping rare materials].
Lin Zhen swallowed his saliva.
"I'm rich, I'm super rich."
He pulled a megaphone out of his pants and aimed it at the sky.
"Listen up, you ugly freaks flying in the sky, you have been surrounded by me alone! Drop your weapons, hand over your wallets! Men to the left, women to the right, and the neither-men-nor-women go to the middle to line up for security checks!"
Chapter 102: Crotch Inventory, Chitauri, Who Dares Steal Grandpa's XP!
On the roof of Stark Tower, Lin Zhen's megaphone broadcast echoed over Manhattan.
The Chitauri Soldiers in mid-air saw Lin Zhen's arrogant middle finger and immediately turned their weapons, weaving a net of deep blue energy beams straight toward his face.
"You NPCs are really going against the heavens, daring to attack first without paying protection money."
Lin Zhen stuffed the megaphone into his crotch and backhanded a frying pan out. With his knees slightly bent, he swept it across, meeting the web of energy beams.
Clang!
A crisp metallic clanging sound rang out.
The frying pan's absolute physical and energy defense mechanism triggered.
The five deep blue beams returned along their original paths, accurately piercing the chests of those five Chitauri Soldiers.
[Kill Chitauri Soldiers x 5, XP + 250]
[Obtained: Damaged Energy Rifle x 2, Chitauri Metal Fragments x 8]
The five aliens fell from mid-air.
Stepping on his golden ghost fire hoverboard, Lin Zhencaught the falling energy rifles and metal fragments in mid-air and skillfully stuffed them into his crotch.
"The drop rate is way too low. Five of you only dropped two broken guns? Don't you aliens bring any money when you go out?"
Lin Zhen cursed as he stepped on his hoverboard and charged into the enemy formation.
His high-frequency car audio was turned to full blast, and "Most Dazzling Folk Style" resounded through the sky.
Lin Zhen held the frying pan in his left hand while continuously pulling high-explosive shrapnel pumpkin bombs from his crotch with his right, throwing them wildly at the densest clusters of Chitauri.
The explosions merged into one continuous roar.
The Chitauri formation was blown to smithereens.
Lin Zhen wove through the flames, his frying pan flipping up and down.
Every time he knocked out a Chitauri Soldier, he would casually strip away their energy magazines and armor plating.
In less than three minutes, he had completed a hearty "zero-dollar shopping" spree in mid-air.
[XP + 1500]
[Obtained: Chitauri Energy Core x 12, Flight Pedal Engine x 3]
"I'm rich." Lin Zhen looked at the jumping numbers on his system panel, his eyes shining brightly.
A red and gold figure shot up from below.
Tony Stark, wearing his Mark VII armor, fired his repulsors continuously, blasting three Chitauri Soldiers into fragments.
Lin Zhen grew anxious, maneuvering his hoverboard to rush in front of Tony, his frying pan nearly striking the helmet of the Mark VII.
"Tony, don't you know the rules! You'll face divine retribution for kill-stealing!"
Tony opened his faceplate, his face livid. "Are you crazy? This is a war, not your treasure hunt game! They are slaughtering civilians!"
"Civilians are none of my business. I only see XP and equipment all over the sky." Lin Zhen pointed at the dense black dots in the sky. "Go fight somewhere else. I've claimed the monsters in this block. Whoever dares to steal my kills, I'll smash them too."
Tony gritted his teeth in anger, just about to retort, when Steve's voice came over the communication channel.
"Stark, we need support. There are too many aliens."
A S.H.I.E.L.D. Quinjet whizzed past with Natasha piloting and Steve standing by the cabin door, holding that high-imitation aluminum alloy shield.
Lin Zhen pulled out his megaphone and shouted at the Quinjet.
"Big Butt Captain America, that broken pot lid of yours can't stop alien lasers! I have some Chitauri bulletproof vests I just seized. Since we're acquaintances, I'll give you a 20% discount—80,000 USD a piece. Want two?"
Steve heard that familiar voice and nearly tumbled out of the cabin.
He raised his shield to block two energy beams, then turned his head and roared into his communicator.
"Lin Zhen, this is no time for jokes! Close that space portal!"
"Close the portal? If the portal is closed, the monsters will stop spawning. Don't you have any common sense about games?" Lin Zhen rolled his eyes and stuffed the megaphone back into his crotch.
A deafening roar echoed from the sky.
A mechanical Leviathan over 100 meters long emerged from the space portal.
Its massive body swam between the skyscrapers. The armor on both sides of its belly opened, and hundreds of Chitauri Soldiers fell toward the ground like dumplings.
Lin Zhen looked up at the giant beast, and a red high-risk prompt popped up on his system panel.
[Elite Monster: Chitauri Leviathan]
[XP + 5000]
[Drop: High probability of dropping Epic-grade bio-mechanical armor materials]
Lin Zhen swallowed, his eyes gleaming.
"Five thousand XP, plus purple equipment materials—this is one big fat sheep."
He stepped down, and his golden hoverboard sprayed dazzling tail flames as he rushed toward the Leviathan.
"Jarvis, analyze that monster's weak point," Tony shouted in the channel.
"Sir, its outer armor is extremely thick. Conventional weapons cannot penetrate it."
Tony was preparing to launch micro-missiles when he saw Lin Zhen had already flown to the top of the Leviathan.
"Hey, ugly monster, hand over your epic materials!"
Lin Zhen shouted, pulled out Mjolnir, aimed it at the Leviathan's massive skull, and smashed down fiercely.
The giant beast lost its balance, wailed, and crashed into a nearby building.
Boom!
A green figure descended from the sky and smashed heavily onto the Leviathan's back. The massive impact sent Lin Zhen flying more than ten meters away.
Hulk roared at the sky, his fists hammering onto the Leviathan like raindrops.
[Teammate killed Leviathan, XP distribution: 0]
Lin Zhen climbed up from the ground and looked at the prompt on his system panel. His mentality completely collapsed.
He pointed at Hulk, shaking with anger.
"Big green guy, you dare to steal Grandpa's kill! You owe me five thousand XP and purple equipment materials!"
Hulk turned his head and let out a deafening roar at Lin Zhen.
"Motherfucker, if I don't beat you until you drop those green underpants today, Grandpa isn't called New York Ji Ba!"
Just as Lin Zhen was preparing to fight Hulk to the death, his peripheral vision caught a glimpse of a figure standing on the terrace of Stark Tower, wearing a ram-horn helmet and holding a scepter inlaid with a blue sapphire.
Lin Zhen stopped, his eyes narrowing.
That NPC holding the scepter had a huge golden exclamation Mark above his head.
That was the world-class quest target worth 100,000 XP.
Chapter 103: The Hulk's Majesty
Lin Zhen saw Loki, his eyes lit up, and he immediately left the Hulk, who was stealing his monsters, behind, rushing over on his golden ghost fire hoverboard.
"One hundred thousand experience points, here I come!"
Loki stood on the terrace, about to deliver his declaration of godhood, when he saw a golden figure flying over on a glowing hoverboard.
Loki recognized Lin Zhen, raised the Mind Scepter, and shouted: "It's you again, you ignorant Midgardian worm. Today I will make you..."
Before he could finish, Lin Zhen had already flown up to him, swung his blackened frying pan, and smacked it right into Loki's face.
"Clang!"
Loki was knocked back two steps, his helmet crooked.
"Stop yapping, drop your loot!" Lin Zhen yelled, reaching towards Loki's waist.
Loki was furious and fired an energy beam from the Mind Scepter. Lin Zhen blocked it with his frying pan, triggering his 100% physical and energy defense. The beam bounced back, electrocuting Loki until he shook all over.
"This glowing stick looks pretty valuable, it's mine now!" Lin Zhen reached out to grab the Mind Scepter.
"Mortal, you dare to blaspheme against a god!"
"Even gods have to pay protection money!" Lin Zhen pulled out the essential oil he had swiped from a bathhouse earlier from his crotch and splashed it directly onto Loki's hands.
Loki's hands slipped, and the Mind Scepter was snatched away by Lin Zhen.
Loki:???
"Good stuff. If I pry off this sapphire, it'll sell for a lot of money." Lin Zhen stuffed the Mind Scepter directly into his crotch.
Loki was stunned, creating seven or eight illusions to surround Lin Zhen: "Do you think this is enough to defeat me?"
Lin Zhen curled his lip: "A clone mechanic? Do you take me for a newbie?"
He pulled a megaphone out of his crotch, turned the volume to the max, and played "The Most Dazzling Folk Style."
The intense sound waves made the illusions flicker, and then Lin Zhen pulled out a handful of pepper he'd acquired for free from a supermarket and scattered it like flowers falling from the sky.
Loki's true form couldn't help but sneeze, exposing himself on the spot.
Lin Zhen performed a low slide, smashing his frying pandirectly onto Loki's knee.
"Ouch!" Loki dropped to one knee.
Lin Zhen casually snatched the pure gold horned helmet off Loki's head and stuffed it into his crotch: "This helmet has high purity; if I melt it down, I can make a few big gold chains."
Loki, with disheveled hair, cried out in a breakdown: "I am a god! I am the King of Asgard! You cannot treat me like this!"
"King my ass, you're just a broke bum who doesn't even carry cash." Lin Zhen patted Loki down, stripping off his cape buttons and belt.
Just then, the Hulk jumped onto the terrace. Seeing Lin Zhen stripping Loki, he roared and charged over.
Loki saw the Hulk and was about to say, "Enough, you lowly..." when he was grabbed by the leg and smashed crazily against the ground like a ragdoll.
"Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!"
Lin Zhen stood on the side, recording with his phone: "Smash harder, that's it, smash out his hidden drops!"
Loki was beaten to the brink of death, embedded in the shattered floor.
Lin Zhen rushed over to steal the kill, knocking Loki on the forehead with his frying pan.
System Notification: Defeated World BOSS Loki. Obtained 100,000 experience points, 500 points, Epic Equipment Chest x1, ruyi jingu bang fragment x10.
Lin Zhen happily put away his frying pan.
Tony flew onto the terrace, his faceplate opening: "Lin Zhen, where is the Mind Scepter? We need it to close the portal!"
Lin Zhen patted his bulging crotch: "It's with me. You want it? Fine, 50 million USD, firm price. Not a penny less."
Tony gritted his teeth in anger: "We are saving Earth, and you're still thinking about making money!"
Lin Zhen rolled his eyes: "Saving Earth is you NPCs' business. I'm only responsible for grinding mobs and looting gear. No money, no loot."
Tony hovered in mid-air, his face under the mask as dark as the bottom of a pot.
"50 million? Why don't you just rob a bank?" Tony roared, pointing his repulsor at Lin Zhen.
Lin Zhen patted his bulging crotch, sat down nonchalantly on the edge of the terrace, and pulled out a handful of caramelized melon seeds to snack on.
"That's a funny thing to say. Robbing a bank isn't nearly as profitable as blackmailing you. This is the only item that can close the portal. Are you buying it or not? If not, I'm listing it on Xianyu."
In the sky, another Leviathan, along with hundreds of Chitauri Soldiers, passed through the portal, their laser beams slicing off half a floor from the surrounding buildings.
"Stark, there are more and more aliens! Close the portal!" Steve's voice roared over the comms channel.
Tony gritted his teeth, staring at Lin Zhen's ridiculous chicken mask: "Jarvis, transfer the money to him!"
"Transfer of 50 million USD complete, sir."
Hearing the system notification, Lin Zhen whistled, pulled the Mind Scepter out of his crotch, and tossed it to Tonylike it was trash: "Pleasure doing business. Remember to come to me next time you have a big order like this."
Tony caught the Mind Scepter, didn't even glance at Lokion the ground, and turned to fly towards the portal generator atop Stark Tower.
Lin Zhen clapped his hands and opened the system panel.
[Opening Epic Equipment Chest]
A flash of golden light, and something appeared in Lin Zhen's hand.
[Obtained: Doraemon's Size-Changing Flashlight (Fake)]
[Quality: Epic]
[Effect: Can enlarge or shrink any inanimate object by 100 times. Duration: one hour. Cooldown: three hours. Note: Do not use to change your own body parts.]
Lin Zhen looked at the red and white plastic flashlight in his hand and curled his lip: "This system is getting more and more unprofessional."
In mid-air, Chitauri Soldiers were still flying around, firing lasers indiscriminately.
Tony flew towards the generator on the roof with the Mind Scepter, while Steve yelled and screamed in the comms channel.
Lin Zhen acted as if he hadn't heard a thing.
He turned his head to look at the street below.
The Hulk was holding the wreckage of a taxi, smashing it towards a mechanical Leviathan flying by.
"You stole 5,000 experience points from me and swallowed my purple gear! Even if the King of Heaven himself comes today, you're handing over those green shorts!"
Lin Zhen pressed the red switch on the size-changing flashlight and aimed the beam at himself.
The red light enveloped Lin Zhen's entire body.
His body expanded at a speed that defied biological laws.
1.8 meters.
5 meters.
20 meters.
50 meters.
The red light dissipated.
On the streets of Manhattan, there was now a 50-meter-tall super giant wearing a chicken mask and oversized Pikachu boxer shorts.
The frying pan in his hand also enlarged, turning into a black iron wall large enough to blot out the sky.
The Chitauri Soldiers braked in mid-air, staring at this giant who was taller than the buildings, forgetting even to fire their guns.
Inside the Quinjet, Natasha's hand shook, and the jet veered off course.
"What the hell is that!" Steve leaned over the edge of the cabin, looking up at Lin Zhen's chicken mask, his voice trembling.
Tony had just inserted the Mind Scepter into the generator when he turned and saw this scene, his jaw dropping slightly under his mask.
"Jarvis, tell me this is a hallucination."
"Sir, the target Lin Zhen's mass and volume are increasing geometrically. Current height is 52 meters; weight is incalculable."
On the street, the Hulk had just thrown the wreckage in his hand when the light above his head was blocked.
He looked up, puzzled.
Facing him was the base of a frying pan that blotted out the sky.
Bang!
A deafening sound of clashing metal echoed throughout Manhattan.
The Hulk didn't even have time to scream before he was smashed directly into the asphalt by the frying pan, creating a giant pit over a dozen meters deep.
Lin Zhen's 50-meter-tall body crouched down, making the Earth tremble.
"Big green guy, stealing kills is fun, huh!"
Lin Zhen's frying pan smashed wildly at the Hulk in the pit, like a game of Whac-A-Mole.
Bang!
"5,000 experience points!"
Bang!
"Purple gear material!"
Bang!
"How are you going to compensate me!"
The Hulk was dazed from the beating. In a fit of rage, he jumped out of the pit, waving his fists to smash at Lin Zhen's knees.
Normally, the Hulk's 3-meter-plus frame was quite intimidating, but in front of Lin Zhen, he was like a toddler who had just learned to walk.
Lin Zhen extended two fingers, pinched the scruff of the Hulk's neck, and held him up in mid-air.
The Hulk kicked his limbs wildly, letting out an angry roar.
"Stop yelling. I said I'd pull off your shorts, and I'm pulling off your shorts."
Lin Zhen reached over with his other hand, pinched Hulk's highly elastic green shorts, and gave them a hard tug.
Rip.
The fabric tore.
[Obtained: Damaged Green Elastic Shorts x1]
Without the obstruction of the shorts, the Hulk's majesty was immediately revealed.
Everyone subconsciously widened their eyes.
Even Natasha was so shocked her mouth hung open, a faint blush appearing on her face.
"So... so big!"
Chapter 104 A Great Harvest
Hulk reacted, instinctively blocking downwards with both hands.
"Don't be shy, we're all men, what's there to be afraid of from a few looks?" Lin Zhen dangled the tattered pair of shorts, shaking them, before tossing them back to Hulk's feet.
Hulk let out an angry roar, his green skin beginning to fade, and his body shrank rapidly, finally becoming Bruce Banner, who lay unconscious in the pit, stark naked.
"Oh ho, so you have times when you're this small too?" Lin Zhen glanced down, then compared them.
Thankfully, his own was 20 centimeters, excluding the head.
Compared to Banner, he was still quite imposing.
At the top of Stark Tower, the Mind Scepter was inserted into the generator's slot.
The golden aperture contracted layer by layer; finally, just as a Leviathan poked half its head out, it was severed by the rift, the remaining half of its body falling into the Hudson River, kicking up a splash half a street high.
Lin Zhen squatted by the edge of the pit, looking at the Chitauri corpses littering the ground, his eyes shining.
"This is the good stuff; don't close it so fast, let me finish looting first."
Tony ignored him, staring at the generator's zeroed-out reading, letting out a long breath before collapsing onto the terrace.
The system settlement popped up.
[Battle of New York: Main Quest Completed] [EXP + 100000] [Points + 500] [Epic Equipment Chest Opened] [ruyi jingu bang fragment + 10]
At this moment, the enlargement effect had not yet faded, and Lin Zhen could take in the entire Fifth Avenue's worth of Chitauri wreckage at a glance.
Armor fragments, rifles, and flight board engines were densely scattered across half the street.
Each item was topped with a line of white text: Lootable.
"Motherfucker, now this is a proper farming experience."
He leaned over, sweeping a palm across, raking all the alien equipment and metal debris from half the street towards his crotch.
[Obtained: Chitauri Energy Rifle × 47] [Obtained: Flight Board Engine × 23] [Obtained: Alien Alloy Skin × 18]
The EXP notification sounds chimed incessantly.
The Quinjet hovered at the height of Lin Zhen's shoulder; Natasha stared at those massive hands clearing the field in bulk, silent for three seconds.
"What is he doing?"
Steve gripped the hatch door, his expression complex, "He's looting equipment."
"I know he's looting equipment!"
"He swept the whole street," Steve added, "including those three fire trucks at the intersection."
Natasha:??? "The fire trucks are gone too?"
Tony hovered above Lin Zhen's head, scanned downwards, and pulled back his faceplate.
"Jarvis, did those three fire trucks go into his crotch?"
"Sir, they did," Jarvis paused for 0.5 seconds, "along with two mailboxes, an ATM, and the left shoe of an unconscious civilian on the side of the road."
Tony snapped his faceplate back on.
At this moment, a line of red text popped up on the system panel. [Warning: Enlargement effect remaining time: 4 minutes 52 seconds]
"Oh ho, running out of time?" "Doesn't matter, I've already looted... collected just about everything anyway."
Lin Zhen tossed away an entire row of streetlights he hadn't managed to stuff in yet, pulled out that red-and-white plastic flashlight, aimed the beam at himself, and pressed it.
Fifty meters, twenty meters, five meters, one point eight meters.
The final contraction was a bit abrupt; his feet slipped, and he landed firmly on his butt.
He clapped his hands, stood up, and looked up at everyone still hovering in mid-air, staring at him.
Lin Zhen pulled out a megaphone. "Time to settle the mercenary fee, Tony, you owe me four hundred thousand."
"You've already received fifty million!" Tony's voice came from inside the faceplate, steady yet desperate.
"That was for the Mind Scepter; the fighting is separate," Lin Zhen held up two fingers, "Labor fees, equipment rental, emotional distress compensation—I'll give you a discount..."
Director Fury's voice came from the side. Director Fury, wearing a black trench coat, stood atop the ruins, his single eye fixed intensely on Lin Zhen, while Coulson led a team running over below.
"You stripped Fifth Avenue bare! An ATM, fire trucks, seventeen police motorcycles—they all went into your crotch!"
"Nonsense, that's auto-loot, it's a system default. If you're not happy, go talk to the developers."
"You even took the shoe off an unconscious civilian!"
Lin Zhen rolled his eyes: "He's unconscious, wearing shoes is such a waste."
Director Fury took a deep breath, turned his head, and lowered his voice. "Where is Loki? Where is the Mind Scepter?"
Lin Zhen patted his crotch.
Director Fury sighed, feeling the world turn a bit gray. "Lokiis an important source of intelligence, hand him over."
"Intelligence, well, that's extra." Lin Zhen pulled Loki out from his crotch, holding him up in mid-air by his collar. "Escort fees, personal safety guarantee fees—let's round it up to ten million."
Director Fury looked up, watching that disheveled, helmetless Loki dangling in mid-air.
Loki had never seen anyone in this position in his entire life.
"Five million!" Director Fury gritted his teeth, "No more haggling."
"Deal."
Lin Zhen tossed Loki to Coulson.
Four heavily armed Agents hauled him toward the Quinjet's hatch. After walking five steps, he suddenly stopped, turned his head, and his gaze landed on Lin Zhen's pants.
"You took the heart of eternal winter from Laufey's body," Loki said in a low voice, "Do you know its true purpose? It's not some material; it is the Nine Realms' most ancient freezing curse artifact. Anyone who takes it away from Jotunheim for more than twelve hours, the rift will..."
Lin Zhen:???
"Scared now, aren't you? I advise you to return it to me immediately!" Loki said.
Lin Zhen looked at him with the gaze one uses for an idiot. "No, did you sleep until you got stupid?" "What the hell does that have to do with me?!"
Chapter 105: Boss respawns? Is there such a good thing?
"Director."
Coulson leaned in and lowered his voice.
"The medical team says the unconscious civilian whose shoe was taken by Lin Zhen has woken up and is asking where his shoe went."
Fury shook his head.
"Tell him he made a contribution to the country."
Just then, a muffled thud came from under their feet.
Lin Zhen stopped and looked down at the asphalt road.
A fine crack extended from beside his feet, with a thin layer of white frost forming on its edges, and it was expanding toward both sides at a speed visible to the naked eye.
"Oh, snap."
A line of red text appeared on the system panel:
[Emergency Warning: The heart of eternal winter has left Jotunheim for over 8 hours. The Nine Realms rift has begun to trigger. Full-scale spread expected within 12 hours. Affected area: North American East Coast.]
Below that was a line of small text:
[Limited-time side quest: Seal the rift. Return the heart of eternal winter to the Jotunheim stone gate within 4 hours or find an equivalent sealing method.]
[Quest reward: EXP + 50000, Points + 200, ruyi jingu bang fragment × 15]
Fifty thousand EXP, fifteen fragments.
He took a deep breath and looked up.
"Nick Fury!"
Fury turned around. "What is it?"
"Pay more."
Fury's eyelid twitched. "Pay more for what?"
Lin Zhen pointed at the white frost crack under his feet with his frying pan. "Loki was telling the truth. I have a limited-time quest here. It needs to be solved within four hours, or the North American East Coast is doomed. You figure it out."
Fury looked down at the crack; the white frost had already spread three meters.
"Is there a solution?"
"Take the heart back to the Jotunheim stone gate," Lin Zhen spread his hands. "The place where we farmed Laufey last time, New Mexico. The stone gate is still there. Throw this heart back, and it's done."
"What do I need to do?"
"Thor knows how to open the door, and I have Mjolnir, so it should work." Lin Zhen held up a finger. "Five million, and I'll set off now."
"Two hundred fifty!"
"Fine, deal!"
"Why do I feel like you're insulting me in a roundabout way?"
Tony landed from the sky just then. His faceplate flipped open. He looked down at the frost on the ground, then up at Lin Zhen. "Did that ice crystal cause this?"
"You're very smart," Lin Zhen clapped. "I sold that ice crystal to you. Now that there's a problem, who do you think should take the blame?"
Tony stiffened. "I bought it as research material. You didn't tell me it had this side effect!"
"Well, you didn't ask."
"Jarvis." Tony stopped paying attention to Lin Zhen. "Re-evaluate the impact of the heart of eternal winter going out of control within the city."
"Sir, preliminary estimates suggest New York will be completely frozen within twelve minutes, affecting a radius of about seventy kilometers."
The whole place went quiet for two seconds.
Lin Zhen patted his crotch and said, "So it's best not to let it go out of control here. Shove the thing back into my crotch. Everyone, understand the importance of my crotch. I'm protecting all of New York with my body. The mental damages fee will be calculated by the hour..."
Tony was speechless.
He had never seen such a shameless person.
He could actually ask for something he sold back like this?
And he even said it so righteously.
It was as if all of New York owed him.
Fury shoved the communicator into Lin Zhen's hand.
"Thor is on the line. You talk to him. I'll solve whatever you need, just hurry."
Lin Zhen cleared his throat.
"Brother Thor, your brother left a mess. I intend to return the heart of eternal winter to its rightful owner, but there's a shipping fee for the delivery. Also, you still owe me five hundred thousand. Let's settle it all at once this time, how about that?"
On the other end of the communicator, there was first Thor's furious roar, then Coulson's hushed voice saying, "Your Highness, calm down. Earth is about to freeze."
"...Fine, I'll cooperate with you."
Lin Zhen's mouth curled into a grin.
"Motherf***er, let's go. Time to farm the dungeon."
Fury stood in the ruins, the white frost under his feet still spreading, behind him was Fifth Avenue, which had been stripped of half a street's worth of equipment.
Coulson walked up to him. "Director, does this count as going smoothly?"
Fury didn't speak, staring at Lin Zhen's back as he disappeared at the street corner for several seconds before speaking.
"It doesn't..."
"He still hasn't returned that bottle of delay spray to me."
Coulson fell silent.
...
In the distance, in the clouds toward New Mexico, a faint blue light flashed and then dimmed.
Coulson walked over with a tablet. "Director, the satellite just captured an abnormal signal originating from the direction of the New Mexico stone gate. It is currently moving toward the East Coast at a speed of three hundred kilometers per hour."
Fury took the tablet and stared at the red dot moving at a constant speed on the screen, his brows knitting together.
"It's not from Lin Zhen?"
"No." Coulson paused. "The signal characteristics completely match the energy band of Jotunheim. It's like... something crawled out of the stone gate."
Fury tossed the tablet back. "Contact Tony. Have him follow Lin Zhen. Don't let that kid cause trouble. Don't worry about anything else for now."
"Already contacted him," Coulson paused. "But Mr. Starksaid... he wants to go to the lab first to back up the data on the heart of eternal winter."
Fury closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Tell him, data can be recreated if it's lost, but if your life is lost, everything is gone."
New Mexico, deep in the desert.
Lin Zhen landed in front of the stone gate ruins on his golden ghost fire hoverboard, kicking up half a meter of yellow sand.
That black stone gate engraved with Norse mythology patterns still stood in place. The edges of the door frame were covered with a thick layer of white frost, and ice marks had cracked on the ground, extending outward in all directions.
Thor stood beside the stone gate, shirtless, wearing that tattered Sha County Delicacies apron around his waist, holding Mjolnir in his hand.
Lin Zhen jumped off the hoverboard and looked at Thor's outfit. "You've gotten addicted to washing dishes in that getup?"
Thor ignored him and stared at Lin Zhen's crotch. "Where is the heart of eternal winter?"
"In my crotch," Lin Zhen patted it. "But if you want to take it, you have to open the door first."
Thor raised his hammer, aiming the head at the rune groove in the center of the stone gate, and lightning began to gather.
"Wait," Lin Zhen stopped him. "Before we open the door, let's settle the bill first. Five hundred thousand for the hammer ransom fee, ten million for the shipping fee. That's ten million five hundred thousand in total. How do you plan to pay?"
Thor gritted his teeth. "I don't have that much money."
"Then what are you trading with?"
Thor was silent for three seconds, then untied the tattered apron from his waist. "This was sewn by the boss of Sha County Delicacies himself. It has great commemorative value."
Lin Zhen stared at the greasy floral cloth apron and was silent for a full five seconds.
"Are you serious?"
"This is all I have."
"Fine," Lin Zhen took the apron and stuffed it into his crotch casually. "Anyway, you don't have anything else. Open the door."
Thor raised his hammer, and lightning struck the stone gate.
White mist poured out from the door crack, and the runes lit up with a ghostly blue light.
With a loud boom, the stone gate pushed inward.
Behind the door was an ice-covered wasteland, with lead-gray clouds pressing down on the sky, and the silhouettes of several icebergs in the distance.
Lin Zhen poked his head into the door, and the system panel popped up a line of text.
[Jotunheim domain detected. heart of eternal winter can be returned.]
"Motherf***er, finally at the delivery stage."
Lin Zhen took the rhombus-shaped ice crystal emitting a ghostly blue light out of his crotch and was just about to throw it into the door when his wrist was suddenly grabbed by Thor.
"Wait."
Lin Zhen turned his head. "What's wrong?"
Thor stared at the heart of eternal winter, his brows furrowing. "This thing cannot be thrown in directly."
"Why?"
"Because it is the core of Laufey," Thor let go of his hand. "If you throw it into Jotunheim, the rift will stop expanding, but the heart of eternal winter will re-condense a new Laufey."
Lin Zhen blinked. "You mean, if I throw it in, it's equivalent to resurrecting the BOSS?"
"Yes."
"Isn't that even better?" Lin Zhen's eyes lit up. "Once he's resurrected, I'll farm him again. Won't I get the EXP and equipment again?"
Thor froze.
"Are you crazy? After Laufey is resurrected, he will immediately come to you for revenge. By then, you won't even be able to escape!"
"Then we'll just fight," Lin Zhen tossed the heart of eternal winter in his hand. "Anyway, the system quest only requires sealing the rift. It didn't say I couldn't farm the boss."
Thor:???
"Are you here to solve the problem or to look for trouble?"
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