Chapter 68 – Social Death in an Instant
"Jiraiya! What do you think you're doing?!"
That sharp, furious voice cut through the air like lightning.
Instantly, a jolt ran from the top of Jiraiya's head straight down his spine, freezing him where he crouched. A flood of painful memories surged up from the depths of his mind—memories of broken ribs and flying fists from a certain terrifying woman in their youth.
It was the kind of trauma no man could ever forget.
Moving stiffly, almost mechanically, Jiraiya turned his head, his eyes meeting those of the last person he wanted to see in a place like this.
Tsunade.
The woman he admired, feared, and occasionally dreamed about—now standing before him, her expression promising divine retribution.
"T-Tsunade! Wait! I can explain!" he blurted, voice cracking as he raised his hands in panic.
But Tsunade wasn't listening.
Her jaw was clenched, fury radiating from her like heat from a forge. She took a deliberate step forward, her fist tightening with every stride.
"Wait! Tsunade, don't—wait—"
Jiraiya stumbled backward in pure panic, his feet scrambling for escape—
—and completely forgetting where he was standing.
There was a brittle crack! as the wooden frame behind him gave way.
Then a thunderous SPLASH!
Jiraiya's scream was drowned out by chaos as he crashed straight through the window and into the steaming women's bath below.
---
For two full seconds, the world was silent.
Then—
"KYAAAAAA!!!"
"PERVERT!! THERE'S A PERVERT IN THE BATH!"
"Get him! Don't let that creep escape!"
"Catch him and drag him to the Hokage!!"
The bathhouse erupted. Water splashed, towels flew, and chaos reigned.
Footsteps thundered as a particularly formidable woman—broad-shouldered and muscular, a towel barely clinging to her frame—marched out of the steam like an enraged beast.
"Step aside!" she roared. "A man dares to barge into my bathhouse?! I'll crush his skull myself!"
---
Up on the rooftop, a puff of smoke rose.
Where Tsunade had been standing… now stood Taichi.
He froze, eyes wide, realizing what had just happened.
He had only meant to startle Jiraiya a little — just a harmless prank. Who could've guessed the Toad Sage would react like a startled cat and literally throw himself into the women's bath?!
Below, the sounds of mayhem echoed through the street — screams, splashes, and the relentless "pa-pa-pa!" of slippered feet chasing after a fleeing pervert.
Apparently, even for a legendary Sannin, being mobbed by a horde of furious, half-dressed women was more than he could handle.
Taichi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Oops… maybe that was… a bit too much."
Glancing around to make sure no one had seen his transformation, he dispelled the jutsu and leapt down from the rooftop, following the commotion.
---
He didn't have to go far.
Even amidst the chaos of downtown Konoha, Jiraiya's distinctive escape tactics were easy to spot — darting left and right, vaulting walls, diving into alleys.
By the time Taichi caught up, the women chasing him were red-faced, breathless, and very much out of patience. After two full streets, they finally lost sight of their target.
Jiraiya, of course, had long since vanished like the slippery toad he was.
Taichi sighed, scratching his cheek. "Figures… guess this isn't his first time running from angry women."
Left with no choice, he followed the faint trail of broken tiles and dripping footprints all the way to the grove beside Training Ground No. 3.
---
A low, amused voice whispered behind him.
"Looking for me?"
Taichi's heart leapt into his throat. He spun around instinctively, leaping back into a defensive stance.
From the shadows of the trees, a figure stepped forward—hair soaked, clothes clinging, and a killing aura so intense even the air seemed to vibrate.
Jiraiya.
And he did not look amused.
Taichi's face froze, then twisted into an awkward grin.
"Heh… heh heh… uh, Jiraiya-sama… funny story about that bathhouse—"
But looking at Jiraiya's dark expression and dripping hair, he knew one thing for certain:
No matter how good the excuse, this was going to hurt.
At that moment, Jiraiya looked nothing like one of the fabled Three Legendary Sannin.
His hair—normally pristine white—was sticking out in every direction like a startled porcupine.
Dark circles hung under his eyes.
His face was swollen, his robe torn in several places, and one sleeve looked like it had been clawed off by an angry tiger.
If you didn't know better, you might've thought he'd just survived a war.
"Jiraiya-sensei! What a coincidence! I was just following the crowd to see what all the commotion was about, and who would've thought I'd find you here!"
Taichi feigned innocent surprise, eyes wide, tone perfectly naive.
"Apparently, some pervert was caught spying on the women's bathhouse. You didn't happen to see who it was, did you?"
Jiraiya slowly turned his head toward him. His bloodshot eyes narrowed.
"...Go on," he said flatly. "Keep spinning that story. I want to see how long you can keep it up."
He reached out, grabbed Taichi by the ear, and twisted.
"Ah—ow ow ow! It hurts! Jiraiya-sensei, my ear's gonna fall off!" Taichi yelped dramatically, flailing in mock agony.
"Some student you are!" Jiraiya barked, though the corners of his lips twitched. "This is how you treat your teacher?! Ruining his… artistic research like that?!"
"Ahhh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—ah, it really hurts!"
Jiraiya finally released him with a snort, muttering, "Good. Maybe losing an ear will teach you not to ruin a man's creative inspiration."
He sighed, brushing at the soot on his torn sleeve. "My perfect afternoon of field study, ruined… all because of you."
Taichi grinned sheepishly. "It wasn't on purpose, Sensei. I just wanted to give you a little scare! I didn't think that window would be so fragile that you'd actually fall through it…"
He wisely left out the part about Jiraiya being so traumatized by Tsunade that even hearing her voice triggered a panic reaction. If he mentioned that, Jiraiya would probably beat him into the hospital by sundown.
Trying to make amends, Taichi clasped his hands together and said earnestly, "Sensei, please let me treat you to lunch as an apology!"
Jiraiya eyed him suspiciously, then sighed, rubbing his chin. "Hmph. At least you've got some sense of guilt left in you."
He slung an arm around Taichi's shoulders, breaking into his usual booming laugh. "Hahaha! Fine, you're paying! Let's go eat."
Though the swagger in his stride was somewhat diminished by his shredded clothes and the faint smell of bathwater, his spirits seemed to recover.
---
They ended up at a small izakaya tucked between two teahouses.
Taichi ordered all of Jiraiya's favorite dishes — grilled chicken skewers, fried tofu, sashimi — along with his preferred sake.
For himself, he settled on fruit juice; he was still too young to drink.
As they ate, their laughter slowly returned.
Between bites, Taichi took the opportunity to ask Jiraiya a few questions about training — chakra control, sealing techniques, even combat footwork. Jiraiya, for all his flaws, was a patient teacher when he wanted to be.
Then, near the end of their meal, Taichi spoke quietly.
"Jiraiya-sensei… did you know Tsunade-sensei left the village?"
The chopsticks froze in Jiraiya's hand.
He blinked, the humor draining from his face. "...When?"
He had been away on a long mission — cut off from news and letters. It was clear no one had told him.
"About half a month ago," Taichi said softly. "She took Shizune with her."
The name Shizune seemed to echo in the silence between them.
Jiraiya said nothing. He just stared at the table for a long while, the sake glass in his hand trembling slightly.
Seeing he'd touched a sore spot, Taichi fell silent too. The easy atmosphere of their meal faded into quiet melancholy.
After a while, Taichi finally asked, "Do you think Tsunade-sensei will come back?"
Jiraiya leaned back, eyes half-lidded. "...Hard to say," he murmured. After a long pause, he added, "But if she does… it might depend on you."
"Me?"
Jiraiya nodded. "People like her… they need someone worth coming back for. Maybe one day, that'll be you."
Taichi thought about that for a long moment — and realized Jiraiya was right.
He wanted Tsunade to return — not just for Konoha's sake, but for her own.
He knew how her story had gone in the original timeline: twenty wasted years of gambling, drinking, and drowning in grief, unable to heal from her trauma. All that potential, all that strength, lost to despair.
It was tragic. Unacceptable.
He clenched his fists under the table.
"I'll find a way to bring her back," he said firmly. "No matter what."
Jiraiya looked at him, then smiled faintly. "Heh. Good. You've got guts, kid."
Then, after a sip of sake, he waved a hand. "Alright, enough of the heavy talk. You keep calling her Tsunade-sensei — what, she finally took you as her student or something?"
Taichi nodded without hesitation. "Yeah. Before she left, she officially made me her apprentice — and even passed her summoning contract scroll to me."
Jiraiya froze mid-drink.
"Pfffft!"
The sake he'd just sipped exploded from his mouth, spraying across the table. He coughed violently, eyes wide in disbelief.
"Wait—seriously?! She actually took a student?!"
He burst into laughter, half shocked, half delighted. "Hahaha! I can't believe it! So the Ice Queen finally chose an heir, huh? Good for her!"
Still chuckling, he leaned back in his seat, pride glinting faintly in his eyes. "Guess that makes you part of the Sannin legacy, huh? Hah! Not bad, kid."
And just as he said that—
A voice called from behind them, sharp and amused:
"Oh? What's got you so happy, Jiraiya-sensei?"
Both turned.
And there, standing in the doorway of the izakaya, was Minato Namikaze— with a warm smile, holding a small takeaway bento.
The timing could not have been more perfect… or more awkward.