Out of the white, ripped by black, Isaac shot into the greater universe, blurring past all that he had feared in his initial debut. The elegance of a vaster cosmos was far more beautiful than a page of white.
He soon arrived back in what he identified as a paler white, if that was physically possible. This time, the same black ooze was dripping from the ceiling and from the floor, covering Isaac in imperceptible notations and letters.
Only this time.
He steeled his resolve and leaped out, once more, ripping white with black.
He passed the symphony of strings. He flew past choirs of quarks. He surmounted the ensemble of electrons.
And out he emerged.
From a lying body.
A semi-lifeless body.
He saw that his own elementary particles were still active.
Hell, if what was dramatized was true, he even saw his own strings still vibrating.
Isaac Mun of the New EAA was still alive.
The choice to be sent back into his own body was right there in front of him.
And yet.
"…"
Why would HE want to go back?
To fail. To admit inferiority.
Although he HAD to return eventually, the disgust he felt right now would not so easily be quelled. Or did he really have to go back? To a world actively out to get him?
One that cosmically hates him as much as he hates it?
He couldn't bear it.
With one 'breath' before departing for worlds where fortune may tilt for him or where he could at least gain some insight into his existence.
Isaac began ascending an endless order of cosmologies, each more esoteric than the last. No faster than he did the last, he was back in that realm of pure white and black, and left once more. Out of his body he popped, out into a greater cosmology he went, and de novo back into this realm.
How long had it been since he initially activated | Theater of Loci |?
Time was imperceptible, more so than the scrambling in his mind during the 2nd Test.
Over and over he ascended, and yet he could not find anything to justify and surmount the problem in front of him, let alone his existence.
Eventually, he was sitting on the star from which he started this escapade, staring up at a now-black space, tired and hopeless. It was well past the receding point where all matter drifted so far apart that their light was undetectable. Nonetheless, Isaac saw hypothetical proton decay. All things came to their end, leaving a zombie universe where black holes orbited other black holes.
He himself knew that he was watching timescales on orders of magnitude exceeding untrigintillion go by in instants. He saw the last electron left, shifting in its probabilities, trying to keep the last black hole materialized. And even then, once the last black hole evaporated, the world around him pitched black, all reaching the same temperature as entropy took its due.
Yet Isaac sat on this lonely star that accompanied him through the heat death of the universe, pondering on the meaning of all this.
What was the | Theatre of Loci |? Why did the | Theater | show him all this?
Perhaps it was an attempt to seed nihilistic thoughts? Or even trying to instill beliefs of quantum mereology into an otherwise fragile mental state. They were terrifying thoughts indeed: the scale of both humanities against the universe, influenced by higher sources theorized yet never proven.
He tried to call for Topological Anchor to process all this, only for no response.
No. No. No.
He knew it.
It's simple.
The | Theater | was showing him the futility of his ego.
| 'What's the point of trying to even defy the world?' |
Huh…
| 'You've been given a second chance; go accept it graciously. Return to your body, accept your loss, and adapt to live on. In that sense, you create meaning in your life by repenting of your foolishness rather than actively trying to push it.' |
But—
| 'It's been 10 years since she passed away; trauma and grief surely do not last that long with all the help in the world you got, let alone a new world.' |
Shut up—
| 'Grow up. It's over, Isaac. Stop being a child.' |
…
| 'Look you below. See how in this empty universe, this star remains. What do you think this star is? Don't be stupid… You know this is…' |
… It's a Thaumiton… Right?
| 'Yes… Older and dumber me…' |
Isaac, at the age of nine, stood on the same star, staring down at Isaac Mun.
| 'Give in, this is what you've always wanted, right? A scientific magic system capable of being studied, evolved, and mathematically defined. It is the perfect magic you and I both desired.' |
I know… But—
| 'Why but? You yourself are a fraud, aren't you? To think someone so narcissistic who only assimilated pre-existing works, yet never theorizing and producing your own, tries to claim ownership of something far ahead of you. Shameless, I tell you.' |
.
.
.
| 'So?' |
I… How do I take it for my own?
| 'Very good. Out, stretch your arms and pu—' |
Hah… How ironic… 'E'. You ask him to grow up, yet you yourself choose to stay in his younger state. What a hypocrite you are.
| '... 'I'… Go away.' |
Isaac, with his outstretched arms, looked towards the direction of the apparent 'E '.
Someone familiar stood there, someone he longed for, longed to be, for so, so, so, so long.
It's been a while, Isaac. How have you been since you were 'E'?
The idealized hero from his dreams, the one who supported him through those 3 days of labor. The one who inspired him to awaken and move forward with a smile, no matter how self-indulgent it was.
Caelum Vedlt. At the End of The Story. The same age as Isaac Mun currently is.
You…
We'll talk another day… Now… 'E'... You go away.
| 'You know that letting him continue in his delusions will only lead him towards destruction. Have him use the magic; don't sugarcoat it.' |
But that magic is a violation of all that Magic should be.
| 'It is a childish definition you still abide by. Magic should be logical, have strict rules/clear costs, and consistent limitations, acting like a science where problems are solved using inference and known parameters' |
But you miss the point! It takes the beauty of humanitarian art out of Magic! It must be the use of unknown powers to make things happen that would usually be impossible possible!
'We are merely describing two sources of magic in fictional tales that should co-exist under normal circumstances. I believe that my definition of magic is fitting for his story; adopt the aforementioned for his survival.' |
Hah… Always using my weakness… I could never argue against you, 'E'... But I do know one who can. Say, shall we leave it to the subject of that dilemma?
Isaac sat astonished and nostalgic.
But a thought was seeded in his mind.
Both of you… I have reached my conclusion.
All these conflicting thoughts in his head. All these similarities and differences.
Isaac had figured out how to move forward without moving on.
What I stand above is a projected shadow of a higher-dimensional particle, yes?
Hah… Yes.
'You are right. It is the expression of all points of a 4th-dimensional Thaumiton as it passes through the 3 Dimensional space of this world, taking shape and form as a white dwarf to express its higher information. You know it, you see its glory, you have the capability to understand it so much faster than all that you hate, so accept it.' |
Which is exactly why I cannot. For it is simultaneously the magic I hold so dear to my heart, the one that followed us through life. I know I haven't completely given up on it yet, seeing as I sit and am not usurped by this dwarf star gravity.
In that instant, the white dwarf vanished, leaving behind visible vibrations propagating throughout the empty universe, sprouting new buds that each formed their respective galaxies and stars.
The old form of Magic Isaac believed in, bringing a universe back from heat death, an impossibility made possible.
| 'Interesting... Explain, older me.' |
I need not choose between them… Electrons exist in clouds of probability that spread over possible positions until measurement resolves one. May that existence be the conduit of a higher particle, or the elements that make possible reality.
The electron degeneracy pressure that forces this star containing the higher information could very well be the electrons forming my brain that forms the consciousness in my mind that allows us to be here. One electron from the hand I used to hold the white dwarf could very well be the electron that holds the star together.
What a Theseusic Theory it is: Electrons are indistinguishable from one another.
Xuě Xīlián flashed in his mind. Pauli Exclusion Principle incarnated in this moment.
As such, Magic, Thaumitons, Myself, and Us included are but probabilities flickering. Who is to say that I cannot continue walking forward with all of them on my back? Submitting to one is submitting to none. Pursuing one is to pursue them all.
The wave retracted back and the white dwarf fissioned once more. Each state of which intermingled with the former. Overlapping higher dimensional information was being compressed and pulled apart in an impossible 3D space. The work of mathematical magic and Magic in one, slowly forming the genesis point in this dead universe.
Past and present and future.
Magical duality, one could say.
| 'But you know yourself that Wheeler's Theory of the One Electron is false, as there are many more electrons than positrons in the universe.' |
You know… Well… I know… I don't even remember the last time I played that game. Whether it was on the day I met you guys or on some random day I checked back on the state of the game.
Nobody told me it was the last time, and I never got to say goodbye.
I woke up one day as someone who didn't play, and I couldn't point to which day it was. The days in my former life were as vast as the number of electrons in the universe. Yet, you two are the ones who kept holding on, and I've never resented you two for it.
Nor do I think I'm done with you yet.
So I say… I don't care, because these electrons are the only ones I hold dear.
Hah… Haha… I was afraid transmigration would have a toll on you. Yet I see no difference from the one I accompanied to death.
| Hah… Spare your chatter. If your own ego-death and destruction is what you seek. I am not the one to stop you. May we never meet again, Isaac Mun.' |
Don't worry.
I will carry on forward, as I carry the days of the past onwards, walking towards a tomorrow I see fit, with their teachings in mind. All I need is to keep moving forward, and you two will find your own answers… when you gaze upon my back!
The white dwarf, or now, the center of the new universe, burst open, a creation event.
As Isaac, laughing, fell towards the nexus.
.
.
.
A third figure materialized in the newly born universe.
The two lingering figures greeted the one.
He has grown up, hasn't he?
| 'Hah… No… Took you long enough, 'SE'. Could have helped us.' |
What do you think?
"..."
| Disappointing, right? |
"No… He's been like this since he was small. But I never once wanted him to stop that stubbornness. And I can't tell yet if it's that idiocy or him that I'm proud of."
I know right?!
| 'Hah… You two…' |
The Play zoomed out to a third-person perspective, and in time, reality returned to a first-person perspective. Where I was ensconced was the grandest theater a human could imagine, with details so intricate my mind could not fathom the level of architecture needed to design this.
Ah… I understand it now… So this is the | Theater of Loci |
Memories flooded my mind as the events I watched unfold from a first-person POV were converted to a third-person POV. The entire debacle that occurred previously was the same that I watched, sitting in the most middle and high seats in this Theater.
And the only way to appreciate such a personally impacting play.
Is to…
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
And I lay back.
.
.
.
Isaac sat up straight. His nose and mouth were foaming with bloodied bubbles as the most killing headache wrecked all semblance of sense he had. The chamber brightened and settled into its neutral state.
A generic voice was calling out to the awakened Isaac.
"Analysis complete. Test 3 has been halted at 7 seconds of load due to the student's inability to continue further on the verge of SOS and dissociating completely. With that, your session of the TRC has concluded, Student: Isaac Mun. We will give you 5 minutes to recuperate as we process the complete results and analytics."
But all of that went in one ear and out the other.
Isaac was chuckling all by himself.
Hah… Guess who's back, back again?
Isaac's back…Tell a friend.