Siya's POV
"Anisha… when will you come back?"
I didn't plan for my voice to crack. It just did. Like my emotions have a habit of exposing me without permission.
"It's been so long," I added, softer now. "I miss you. Everything feels… empty without you."
From the other side of the call, she laughed. Not mockingly. Comfortingly.
"Ohh baby, even I'm missing you," she said. "And trust me, I'm bored here too. I can't wait to come back and meet everyone. I'll be back soon, okay? Calm down."
"Shut up," I said, smiling despite myself.
"Okay okay. Mumma's calling me. I have to go."
She paused for a second. "I'll call you again. Soon."
"Don't," I blurted out. "Just… come back. Be here. I'm waiting. Bye."
The call cut.
And suddenly, the room felt louder.
Because silence has a way of screaming.
She was busy. Village life. Weddings. Relatives. Chaos. I knew all that. I wasn't angry. I wasn't blaming her.
But still…
One call a week feels like crumbs when you're starving.
Everything felt heavy. Like my chest was carrying something invisible but unbearable.
Anisha's POV
I don't know everything that's happening in her life.
But I know this much—
She's hurting.
And I'm not there.
Not physically.
Not emotionally.
And no matter how many times I tell myself "It's temporary," the guilt doesn't leave. I hate that I can't be there when she needs me the most.
Siya's POV
"Am I too kind? Am I the most handsome person in the world?"
My brother was standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair like he was about to walk into a movie audition.
I stared at him. "Wow," I said. "You're literally the carbon copy of Sunio."
He turned, offended. "Can you PLEASE leave? You're so dumb and irritating!"
And just like that—
War.
My elder brother entered, heard half the story, took his side (obviously), and told me to behave.
"You all are biased," I snapped and stormed out.
Sometimes I really feel like the universe has a personal problem with me.
And then there's school.
That place I jokingly call Pakistan because once I enter, I feel like a stranger in my own land.
But fine. Whatever.
I told myself it shouldn't matter anymore.
Good morning, God.
Please be kind to me today.
Like… extra kind. I need it.
Last night, I thought a lot. And for once, my overthinking actually reached a conclusion.
A painful one, but honest.
The class uses me.
For marks.
For notes.
For cheating.
For help.
Nothing more.
Why would they care? They've been together for seven or eight years. I came in between. A few months can't compete with years of memories.
For them, I'm not a classmate.
I'm a resource.
And honestly? That's okay.
So I decided something very mature (rare, I know).
I'll stay normal.
I'll smile.
I'll help.
I'll act like nothing affects me.
If I'm miserable, it's because Anisha isn't here.
That's the excuse I give myself.
I entered the class.
Shela looked at me like I personally ruined her morning.
"Aren't you bored of coming to school every day?"
I smiled sweetly. "I was bored yesterday because you weren't here. I missed your pretty face. That's why you took a leave too, right?"
She sighed, irritated.
"Siya, you are—"
Angry Shela.
My favourite Shela.
Then I reached my bench.
Ruby was sitting there like she owned it. Books spread everywhere. Bag everywhere. Territory marked.
"Can you move a little?" I asked politely.
"Oh yeah," she said. "Why not."
She moved exactly one inch.
I suddenly felt like an uninvited guest at my own bench.
And then…
I saw him.
Ayyan.
Some people are just unfairly pretty. Like God spent extra time on them and said, "Yeah, this one gets everything."
The weird part?
I wasn't crying over him anymore.
I wasn't wanting him.
I was just… admiring him.
Quietly. Safely. From a distance.
Since the day ma'am accused me of being "distracted," everything somehow started pointing back to him. So instead of wanting him, I turned him into something untouchable.
An idol.
It's okay if his smile belongs to someone else.
At least he's smiling.
The day officially began—with Vani ma'am.
Of course.
Div-A Siya was sitting in front of me now. She has friends. A proper circle. She treated me normally, like nothing ever happened.
And I did the same.
She's still my friend. One of the few real ones.
I was lost in my thoughts when—
"Siya," Vani ma'am snapped. "Where are you? I don't think you're here."
"No ma'am," I said softly. "I was just thinking."
"Oho," she smirked. "Thinking about someone?"
The whole class looked at me.
Then at Ayyan.
And Ayyan was looking at Ayesha.
"Read the book," she said sharply. "Not think."
"Yes ma'am. Sorry."
Div-A Siya leaned toward me. "It's okay. She's like this only."
I smiled weakly.
Yeah. She is.
She doesn't know her jokes hurt.
That her tone humiliates.
That her favoritism is obvious.
With Ayesha, she's gentle.
With Ayyan, she's patient.
With Tanev, she laughs.
With Rishi, she ignores everything.
But with me?
Every word twists.
Every smile is wrong.
Every reaction becomes disrespect.
I smile because if I don't, I'll cry.
And I can't cry again.
Not here.
Not anymore.
She hates me. And I don't even know why.
By the end of the lecture, my head was aching. My heart heavier than my bag.
God…
How many more days do I have to survive like this?
Because smiling like this—
is slowly killing me.